Another Twitter Thread
September 6, 2020 12:50 PM Subscribe
@CKnightWrites:
Definitely just watched my neighbor’s teenage son back his mom's car into his dad's truck.
And he knows I saw it.
Mom is home but didn’t see/hear it happen, and Dad gets home at 3.
I’m waiting for the silence bribe.
That’s a fine take, but as a small aside we should note Charlie Knight uses “they/them” pronouns.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:22 PM on September 6, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 1:22 PM on September 6, 2020 [8 favorites]
It's wholesome that Charlie seems to have a decent relationship with their neighbors!
but yeah I agree this story isn't as cute as Charlie seems to think it is ... they just come across like a jerk. I think it's a consequence of expanding a funny short anecdote into a Twitter Story™.
posted by Emily's Fist at 1:26 PM on September 6, 2020 [8 favorites]
but yeah I agree this story isn't as cute as Charlie seems to think it is ... they just come across like a jerk. I think it's a consequence of expanding a funny short anecdote into a Twitter Story™.
posted by Emily's Fist at 1:26 PM on September 6, 2020 [8 favorites]
Felt uncomfortable reading this whole thing. Just heavy The Failure Mode Of Clever Is Asshole vibes throughout. Wasn't surprised to see the defensive OH THE SNOWFLAKES HAVE ARRIVED tweet at the end. Hm.
posted by ominous_paws at 1:38 PM on September 6, 2020 [16 favorites]
posted by ominous_paws at 1:38 PM on September 6, 2020 [16 favorites]
You have to get to the end to really get a handle on how trivial the damage is, and how small the stakes are for the family, and that modifies the whole ordeal.
You can't edit something like this, but if you could, all it would need is an early note like : "I can see the damage. I know the parents. His mom will be annoyed and she'll yank the keys away for a month, that's it. He's freaking out about something tiny, because he's a Dumb Teen and everything is a big deal. So I, dear reader, have no qualms about profiting over his Dumbness."
They'll still come off as an asshole, which is fine, because they're an asshole. But now you know exactly what kind of asshole you're dealing with.
posted by suckerpunch at 2:18 PM on September 6, 2020 [7 favorites]
You can't edit something like this, but if you could, all it would need is an early note like : "I can see the damage. I know the parents. His mom will be annoyed and she'll yank the keys away for a month, that's it. He's freaking out about something tiny, because he's a Dumb Teen and everything is a big deal. So I, dear reader, have no qualms about profiting over his Dumbness."
They'll still come off as an asshole, which is fine, because they're an asshole. But now you know exactly what kind of asshole you're dealing with.
posted by suckerpunch at 2:18 PM on September 6, 2020 [7 favorites]
Maybe it’s something fundamentally broken in me, but I can never believe a word of these “live tweeting a real life event as it unfolds” viral type threads. Sets off my bullshit alarm every time.
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:06 PM on September 6, 2020 [18 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:06 PM on September 6, 2020 [18 favorites]
Maybe it’s something fundamentally broken in me, but I can never believe a word of these “live tweeting a real life event as it unfolds” viral type threads. Sets off my bullshit alarm every time.
I'm inclined to believe anything that's less interesting than the time I was trying to work in a coffee shop & the job interviewee at the table next to me gradually revealed more personal details until eventually it came out that he had joined a fringe religious group & left his wife & she was trying to have him committed. Which imo is a bar the dent story clears.
That guy's life problems were absolutely none of my business & I should have cranked up the white noise until I could no longer hear him but I'M HUMAN DANGIT.
posted by taquito sunrise at 8:02 PM on September 6, 2020 [4 favorites]
I'm inclined to believe anything that's less interesting than the time I was trying to work in a coffee shop & the job interviewee at the table next to me gradually revealed more personal details until eventually it came out that he had joined a fringe religious group & left his wife & she was trying to have him committed. Which imo is a bar the dent story clears.
That guy's life problems were absolutely none of my business & I should have cranked up the white noise until I could no longer hear him but I'M HUMAN DANGIT.
posted by taquito sunrise at 8:02 PM on September 6, 2020 [4 favorites]
Dumb Teen car damage stories jumped the shark years ago.
posted by flabdablet at 8:18 PM on September 6, 2020
posted by flabdablet at 8:18 PM on September 6, 2020
Seems like metafilter I'd already on to this, but I felt like Charlie could have used their position as co-conspirator to offer some advice about honesty being the best policy instead of using their position of power to extract a petty bribe from a child. Not really dealing out the life lessons here, but maybe that's not the point? Whatever, good luck with your lives Kyle and Charlie both. May you have an overall positive impact on your world.
posted by keep_evolving at 9:01 PM on September 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by keep_evolving at 9:01 PM on September 6, 2020 [2 favorites]
At the very least, it seems like when Kyle was getting close to possibly making particularly stupid choices, they did warn them off from that.
posted by Four Ds at 9:12 PM on September 6, 2020
posted by Four Ds at 9:12 PM on September 6, 2020
Maybe it’s something fundamentally broken in me, but I can never believe a word of these “live tweeting a real life event as it unfolds” viral type threads. Sets off my bullshit alarm every time.
posted by Atom Eyes at 7:06 PM on September 6
Same here. Real life doesn't often happen in neat, twee narrative arcs.
In this instance, though, I'm a little uncertain. If the story is a work of fiction, then the author did a bang-up job of sounding like an asshole. I can't imagine why they would paint themself that way.
Whatever the situation is, I felt a little gross reading it.
posted by ZaphodB at 3:03 AM on September 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Atom Eyes at 7:06 PM on September 6
Same here. Real life doesn't often happen in neat, twee narrative arcs.
In this instance, though, I'm a little uncertain. If the story is a work of fiction, then the author did a bang-up job of sounding like an asshole. I can't imagine why they would paint themself that way.
Whatever the situation is, I felt a little gross reading it.
posted by ZaphodB at 3:03 AM on September 7, 2020 [1 favorite]
I started reading and then asked myself why and finally just blocked the writer. We have enough extortionists running things around here.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 5:21 AM on September 7, 2020
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 5:21 AM on September 7, 2020
This was a good opportunity to teach a young person a lesson; disappointing that they went with: "when you have power over someone, it's fine to turn the screws on them to extract concessions as long as you do it in a pleasant, deniable way"
posted by Kwine at 5:35 AM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by Kwine at 5:35 AM on September 7, 2020 [3 favorites]
Maybe it’s something fundamentally broken in me, but I can never believe a word of these “live tweeting a real life event as it unfolds” viral type threads. Sets off my bullshit alarm every time.
Oh yeah, none of Charlie's interactions with the neighbors are remotely believable. They read like fanfiction or a sitcom script:
Kyle: *waves* Gonna wash the cars!
Me: *waves back* Clean dents still exist.
Burst his bubble. Bucket and towel have been abandoned for more car examining."
And:
Me: Is the dent worth all this pain?
Mom: The dent is from when I hit a pole six months ago.
Me: Are you gonna tell Kyle?!
Mom: Absolutely not, I love Italian Ice
Yeah, okay. I imagine Charlie really witnessed something (kid bumping car and freaking out about it), thought of a funny joke (I wonder if he'll try to bribe me) and then expanded the events and their own presence in it to be something worthy of a classic wacky twitter story.
The internet makes it super easy to hop from "wouldn't it be funny if this happened?" to "this happened!"
posted by Emily's Fist at 10:31 AM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
Oh yeah, none of Charlie's interactions with the neighbors are remotely believable. They read like fanfiction or a sitcom script:
Kyle: *waves* Gonna wash the cars!
Me: *waves back* Clean dents still exist.
Burst his bubble. Bucket and towel have been abandoned for more car examining."
And:
Me: Is the dent worth all this pain?
Mom: The dent is from when I hit a pole six months ago.
Me: Are you gonna tell Kyle?!
Mom: Absolutely not, I love Italian Ice
Yeah, okay. I imagine Charlie really witnessed something (kid bumping car and freaking out about it), thought of a funny joke (I wonder if he'll try to bribe me) and then expanded the events and their own presence in it to be something worthy of a classic wacky twitter story.
The internet makes it super easy to hop from "wouldn't it be funny if this happened?" to "this happened!"
posted by Emily's Fist at 10:31 AM on September 7, 2020 [2 favorites]
The internet makes it super easy to hop from "wouldn't it be funny if this happened?" to "this happened!"
I'll be the first to volunteer that I've thought of doing just that as a comedy writing technique. Like, isn't that a fairly common impetus for a bit or a routine?
posted by rhizome at 10:44 AM on September 7, 2020
I'll be the first to volunteer that I've thought of doing just that as a comedy writing technique. Like, isn't that a fairly common impetus for a bit or a routine?
posted by rhizome at 10:44 AM on September 7, 2020
« Older dance deacon | "the mighty builders, perished and fallen" Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by rhizome at 12:52 PM on September 6, 2020 [1 favorite]