Chocolate latest
September 28, 2020 11:58 PM Subscribe
"Serves 8"? Nope. Tin of Disappointment? Nope. 2,268 slices of chocolate cake? Yes! All the chocolate! As a chocolate museum opens in Switzerland where it snows chocolate (but a rival in Belgium?), and people nibble on Terry's balls or the nation's favourite (the right way up), what else is happening in the world of chocolate? "...disgusted yet excited..." Orange twix? Body paint? Chocolate candles? Breakfast oats? Legal shenanigans? Salted caramel chocolate spread? Lindt chocolate spread? Violet Crumble becomes liquid. Science! The Mirage? Please make a chocolate and pear pudding and take me to Bristol's finest. White chocolate Nutella? CBD bar? Or steal it in Austria or read the regular Notes on chocolate or watch TikTok or make chocolate chip cookies.
Mod note: A couple deleted. I'm going to ask that folks who would like to talk about problems in the chocolate industry do that in a separate post created around that topic. Thank you!
posted by taz (staff) at 2:06 AM on September 29, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by taz (staff) at 2:06 AM on September 29, 2020 [8 favorites]
I recall hearing on a podcast some time ago that chocolate digestives should be eaten 'upside-down' -- i.e. with the chocolate on the bottom -- and feeling that while it may be logically correct (maximum chocolate-to-tastebud contact) it was also viscerally wrong. Still feel the same way, still can't explain why. Less relevant now as it's nearly impossible to find dark chocolate digestives where I am, and I'd prefer to go biscuitless than concede to milk chocolate versions.
Really did not need to know about the M&S salted caramel chocolate spread. The only saving grace being that it will be similarly inaccessible in my location, and thanks to Covid any UK trips are on indefinite postponement.
(Consoling myself with organic pine ice cream, a local product which I'd imagine is equally difficult to find pretty much anywhere else in the world.)
posted by myotahapea at 2:25 AM on September 29, 2020 [4 favorites]
Really did not need to know about the M&S salted caramel chocolate spread. The only saving grace being that it will be similarly inaccessible in my location, and thanks to Covid any UK trips are on indefinite postponement.
(Consoling myself with organic pine ice cream, a local product which I'd imagine is equally difficult to find pretty much anywhere else in the world.)
posted by myotahapea at 2:25 AM on September 29, 2020 [4 favorites]
...about the M&S salted caramel chocolate spread...
Though my UK shopping trips have been somewhat hurried this last six months - less browsing, more buying what I need and getting quickly back outside - I have noticed two trends in chocolate-related confectionary:
1) Salted caramal chocolate products
2) (especially recently) orange chocolate products
Of course the latter has been around for donkeys years; Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the strange product which you had to smash on a hard surface or (in our case) with the flat of the coal shovel to break up the pieces into edible-sized chunks, being a prime example. But down here in the West Country of England I keep noticing either local orange chocolate this or that, or national brands. I think I saw chocolate twirl bars for sale yesterday, in hurried passing through one supermarker.
posted by Wordshore at 2:32 AM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
Though my UK shopping trips have been somewhat hurried this last six months - less browsing, more buying what I need and getting quickly back outside - I have noticed two trends in chocolate-related confectionary:
1) Salted caramal chocolate products
2) (especially recently) orange chocolate products
Of course the latter has been around for donkeys years; Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the strange product which you had to smash on a hard surface or (in our case) with the flat of the coal shovel to break up the pieces into edible-sized chunks, being a prime example. But down here in the West Country of England I keep noticing either local orange chocolate this or that, or national brands. I think I saw chocolate twirl bars for sale yesterday, in hurried passing through one supermarker.
posted by Wordshore at 2:32 AM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
From link 3:"The average Brit will consume 7,560 chocolate bars, 2,268 slices of chocolate cake and 8,316 chocolate biscuits in a lifetime. "
The chocolate biscuit seems too low here, or maybe the chocolate bar number is too high?
Only because you'd probably rarely eat 2 chocolate bars in a day? (Or, maybe you would, but not regularly?) whereas biscuits are generally eaten in pairs and you could easily have biscuits with a cup of coffee, maybe twice a day.
These numbers may vary of course, but it seems like the number of biscuits eaten in a day to reach a level of "excess" is easily 4 times higher than that of chocolate bars.
Also have I eaten 4 biscuits for every slice of chocolate cake I've ever eaten? Easily, surely!
I suppose numbers here may be muddled because not all biscuits are chocolate biscuits (also, would bourbons count here as chocolate?) but it just doesn't seem right.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 2:36 AM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
The chocolate biscuit seems too low here, or maybe the chocolate bar number is too high?
Only because you'd probably rarely eat 2 chocolate bars in a day? (Or, maybe you would, but not regularly?) whereas biscuits are generally eaten in pairs and you could easily have biscuits with a cup of coffee, maybe twice a day.
These numbers may vary of course, but it seems like the number of biscuits eaten in a day to reach a level of "excess" is easily 4 times higher than that of chocolate bars.
Also have I eaten 4 biscuits for every slice of chocolate cake I've ever eaten? Easily, surely!
I suppose numbers here may be muddled because not all biscuits are chocolate biscuits (also, would bourbons count here as chocolate?) but it just doesn't seem right.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 2:36 AM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
whereas biscuits are generally eaten in pairs...
{looks at empty wrapper from pack of custard creme biscuits bought less than three hours ago}
posted by Wordshore at 2:45 AM on September 29, 2020 [13 favorites]
{looks at empty wrapper from pack of custard creme biscuits bought less than three hours ago}
posted by Wordshore at 2:45 AM on September 29, 2020 [13 favorites]
Is this a good place for my Chocolate Museum story? Maybe. Anyway, here is my Chocolate Museum story:
We were in Barcelona and had spent a day hitting the museums. We had just been through the Picasso Museum, the daylight was waning and everything was on the verge of shutting down. We were about to head back to the hotel when we noticed the Chocolate Museum -- open for another half hour! How could we resist? We bought our tickets (which came in the form of bars of chocolate) and went in.
First, there was a video presentation about the history of chocolate, which went something like this: "Spanish explorers went to South American and [Scene Missing] LOOK OVER THERE! [Scene Missing] WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS PART [Scene Missing] then Europe had chocolate!"
Then, we went into the museum proper, which turned out to be a museum of ... chocolate art. Paintings and sculptures done entirely in chocolate. Ancient, horrible-looking, inedible chocolate.
And not only was it museum of chocolate art, it was a museum of chocolate art with curator's notes next to the artwork which had the exact same degree of deadly serious breathless intensity and awe as the notes in the Picasso Museum.
CURATOR'S NOTE: "So-and-so's innovative use of white chocolate would transform the world of chocolate art forever. His boldness of line and daring choice of subject made him a controversial figure in the chocolate art world. The unveiling of this piece caused riots, and remains a subject of debate to this very day. To look upon his work is to begin to question everything -- Art. Society. Ourselves."
ME, STARING AT CHOCOLATE IMAGE OF A CARTOON BUNNY: "I ... don't see it."
The chocolate bar tickets were OK.
Also, my spouse made chocolate cupcakes two days ago. I've been having mine with sliced bananas and whipped cream, because I can.
posted by kyrademon at 2:45 AM on September 29, 2020 [13 favorites]
We were in Barcelona and had spent a day hitting the museums. We had just been through the Picasso Museum, the daylight was waning and everything was on the verge of shutting down. We were about to head back to the hotel when we noticed the Chocolate Museum -- open for another half hour! How could we resist? We bought our tickets (which came in the form of bars of chocolate) and went in.
First, there was a video presentation about the history of chocolate, which went something like this: "Spanish explorers went to South American and [Scene Missing] LOOK OVER THERE! [Scene Missing] WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THIS PART [Scene Missing] then Europe had chocolate!"
Then, we went into the museum proper, which turned out to be a museum of ... chocolate art. Paintings and sculptures done entirely in chocolate. Ancient, horrible-looking, inedible chocolate.
And not only was it museum of chocolate art, it was a museum of chocolate art with curator's notes next to the artwork which had the exact same degree of deadly serious breathless intensity and awe as the notes in the Picasso Museum.
CURATOR'S NOTE: "So-and-so's innovative use of white chocolate would transform the world of chocolate art forever. His boldness of line and daring choice of subject made him a controversial figure in the chocolate art world. The unveiling of this piece caused riots, and remains a subject of debate to this very day. To look upon his work is to begin to question everything -- Art. Society. Ourselves."
ME, STARING AT CHOCOLATE IMAGE OF A CARTOON BUNNY: "I ... don't see it."
The chocolate bar tickets were OK.
Also, my spouse made chocolate cupcakes two days ago. I've been having mine with sliced bananas and whipped cream, because I can.
posted by kyrademon at 2:45 AM on September 29, 2020 [13 favorites]
TIL UK Twizzlers bear no resemblance to US Twizzlers.
posted by emelenjr at 4:24 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by emelenjr at 4:24 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
Endorsing the second link: Lindt products are at best a bland, waxy simulacrum of chocolate; their only similarity with the true product is the nosebleed price, which they undoubtedly roll at least half of back into shelf bribes in order to keep their noxious crap at eye level in every grocery and convenience store on the planet.
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:53 AM on September 29, 2020 [4 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 4:53 AM on September 29, 2020 [4 favorites]
Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the strange product which you had to smash on a hard surface or (in our case) with the flat of the coal shovel to break up the pieces
We used to dream of having a coal shovel. Best we could manage was a rock from garden.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:07 AM on September 29, 2020 [15 favorites]
We used to dream of having a coal shovel. Best we could manage was a rock from garden.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:07 AM on September 29, 2020 [15 favorites]
Chef Amaury Guichon does the most technical chocolate build of his life: a 5 ft tall chocolate telescope, complete with candy lenses.
posted by MiraK at 5:09 AM on September 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by MiraK at 5:09 AM on September 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
ricochet, how did you shovel coal with a rock?
posted by kokaku at 5:21 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by kokaku at 5:21 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
The Lindt hazelnut chocolate spread is better than Nutella. The President's Choice (Canadian store brand that is usually pretty good) spread is not.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 5:37 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 5:37 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
Terry's Chocolate Oranges, the strange product which you had to smash on a hard surface or (in our case) with the flat of the coal shovel to break up the pieces
We used to dream of having a coal shovel. Best we could manage was a rock from garden.
LUXURY!!
posted by briank at 5:52 AM on September 29, 2020 [7 favorites]
We used to dream of having a coal shovel. Best we could manage was a rock from garden.
LUXURY!!
posted by briank at 5:52 AM on September 29, 2020 [7 favorites]
Ambivalent on Lindt chocolate. It's certainly not the best, or my favourite, by a long way (there's types of 75%-85% I will go for in a perhaps congested heartbeat) and there is an air of suspicion that one is paying for the fancypants font on the packaging to some extent.
But it's not the worst by a long way; I feel my alimentary canal has never truly come back from the deep fried Hershey bar I tried - just one bite - at the Iowa State Fair several years ago (alas, I did not take a picture of the actual food but it was from this stand).
posted by Wordshore at 5:53 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
But it's not the worst by a long way; I feel my alimentary canal has never truly come back from the deep fried Hershey bar I tried - just one bite - at the Iowa State Fair several years ago (alas, I did not take a picture of the actual food but it was from this stand).
posted by Wordshore at 5:53 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
President's Choice chocolate is terrible: harsh, gritty, artificial tasting. One bar of milk chocolate was more than enough to convince me to never purchase any kind of PC chocolate again, no matter how cheap it is on sale or how many Optimum points I'm promised. In comparison, other Canadian store brands (I want to say Compliments) actually taste like chocolate, even if they are typically considered down market or lessor quality that PC-labelled stuff.
posted by sardonyx at 7:14 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by sardonyx at 7:14 AM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
Laderach. The best I've ever had, and I've tried a lot. Lived in Costa Rica 5 years, tried many handmade small batch chocolate varieties which were excellent, and even made my own chocolate starting from the cacao fruit itself. But nothing has compared to Laderach. Whenever I have a connection through Zurich I pick some up. Not sure if it's sold outside of Switzerland, other than via mail order.
posted by TreeHugger at 8:12 AM on September 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by TreeHugger at 8:12 AM on September 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
The unveiling of this piece caused riots
I want to believe in the Chocolate Bunny Riots.
Laderach. The best I've ever had, and I've tried a lot. Lived in Costa Rica 5 years, tried many handmade small batch chocolate varieties which were excellent, and even made my own chocolate starting from the cacao fruit itself. But nothing has compared to Laderach. Whenever I have a connection through Zurich I pick some up. Not sure if it's sold outside of Switzerland, other than via mail order.
Delivery in the US is free for orders over $35. I may be in trouble.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:46 AM on September 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
I want to believe in the Chocolate Bunny Riots.
Laderach. The best I've ever had, and I've tried a lot. Lived in Costa Rica 5 years, tried many handmade small batch chocolate varieties which were excellent, and even made my own chocolate starting from the cacao fruit itself. But nothing has compared to Laderach. Whenever I have a connection through Zurich I pick some up. Not sure if it's sold outside of Switzerland, other than via mail order.
Delivery in the US is free for orders over $35. I may be in trouble.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:46 AM on September 29, 2020 [3 favorites]
Having studied the photos and done further research I am certain I could beat the Slattery chocolate challenge. I’m probably wrong but with no way to test my theory I’ll just eat some cake at home and dream of chocolate centric travel.
posted by lepus at 9:46 AM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by lepus at 9:46 AM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
Consoling myself with organic pine ice cream...
Which one may assume is served, de rigueur, in a cone?
(Aaaaand, I'll show myself out now.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 12:10 PM on September 29, 2020 [5 favorites]
Which one may assume is served, de rigueur, in a cone?
(Aaaaand, I'll show myself out now.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 12:10 PM on September 29, 2020 [5 favorites]
2,268 slices of chocolate cake ... is a lifetime amount?
I was really hoping it was an ongoing display at the chocolate museum, and that I would get to stop by the display and pick up three or four pieces for myself. On each visit.
I love chocolate, and I think I love it best as cake. Lately I've been very happy with a handful of habits from Trader Joe's, pretty much all dark chocolate - the dark chocolate peanut butter cups, the semi-sweet chocolate chips (I haven't baked cookies in ages, but I get their tiny crispy oatmeal cookies and balance a chocolate chip or two and a walnut piece on top, which makes a nice combination), the enormous bittersweet chocolate bar with almonds. I just picked up one of their smallish dark chocolate ganache cakes this week, and I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm also looking forward to reading the Notes on Chocolate, and I'll definitely finish reading the secret to chocolate chip cookies article, but I'm sorry, it starts out by telling you to chop up your own chocolate instead of using chips? That is just way too much work.
This is a delightful diversion. Thank you so much for posting it, Wordshore! (P.S. Your Flickr feed currently has lots of lovely photos of stones, but very, very little chocolate cake. May I encourage you to rectify that at your earliest convenience?)
posted by kristi at 12:59 PM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
I was really hoping it was an ongoing display at the chocolate museum, and that I would get to stop by the display and pick up three or four pieces for myself. On each visit.
I love chocolate, and I think I love it best as cake. Lately I've been very happy with a handful of habits from Trader Joe's, pretty much all dark chocolate - the dark chocolate peanut butter cups, the semi-sweet chocolate chips (I haven't baked cookies in ages, but I get their tiny crispy oatmeal cookies and balance a chocolate chip or two and a walnut piece on top, which makes a nice combination), the enormous bittersweet chocolate bar with almonds. I just picked up one of their smallish dark chocolate ganache cakes this week, and I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm also looking forward to reading the Notes on Chocolate, and I'll definitely finish reading the secret to chocolate chip cookies article, but I'm sorry, it starts out by telling you to chop up your own chocolate instead of using chips? That is just way too much work.
This is a delightful diversion. Thank you so much for posting it, Wordshore! (P.S. Your Flickr feed currently has lots of lovely photos of stones, but very, very little chocolate cake. May I encourage you to rectify that at your earliest convenience?)
posted by kristi at 12:59 PM on September 29, 2020 [1 favorite]
ricochet, how did you shovel coal with a rock?
That is why we had to work 29 hours a day to do it, and pay mine owner three shillings sixpence for t' privilege.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:23 PM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
That is why we had to work 29 hours a day to do it, and pay mine owner three shillings sixpence for t' privilege.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:23 PM on September 29, 2020 [2 favorites]
I used to go to school near the Lindt chocolate museum! Only went once or twice because in its previous incarnation it was basically just a big hall with information boards and one chocolate mixing machine. But it was free and they did give visitors a reasonably generous free box of chocolate on the way out :) Although I agree with others that Lindt is a bit too waxy and milky to be my top chocolate choice. I like whatever the formula for most Dutch chocolate is – funny how different the “standard” flavour varies from country to country!
posted by jglitter at 12:28 AM on September 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by jglitter at 12:28 AM on September 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
Orange Twixes are well and good, but last winter I found ginger biscuit Twixes for sale in one corner shop near work, and speculaas Ritter Sport in another. They were splendid things. I'm sad to see that both were apparently very limited-release seasonal specials, and not on this year's menu.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 6:05 AM on September 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 6:05 AM on September 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
That Laderach chocolate looks amazing but it's $40 a lb! Even with free shipping I'm not sure I can spring for that. I have a local chocolate shop, Munson's, that makes the best chocolate I've ever had and I've eaten a lot of fancy chocolate in Belgium and France as well as all the fancy big brands available in the US. Nothing has beaten Munson's so far so I don't think I'll spend $40 a lb for Laderach (although that mixed nut and the Florentine frischoggi looks spectacular.
posted by Plafield at 8:20 AM on September 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Plafield at 8:20 AM on September 30, 2020 [1 favorite]
We used to dream of having a coal shovel. Best we could manage was a rock from garden.
We used to dream of having a rock from a garden. Best we could manage was borrowing a brick from the stack that kept our sofa off the floor.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:37 AM on September 30, 2020
We used to dream of having a rock from a garden. Best we could manage was borrowing a brick from the stack that kept our sofa off the floor.
posted by Bella Donna at 9:37 AM on September 30, 2020
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And (from that) there was me, naively thinking that the layer of chocolate on top of chocolate eclairs was applied with some kind of brush or syringe, either manually or automatic. Nope. It's upside down in some cases, like the aforementioned digestive biscuits going through a reservoir of chocolate.
(there's probably a whole genre around which chocolate-covered biscuits are best or worst in hot tea, but as a reformed dunker I have no strong views on this)
posted by Wordshore at 1:46 AM on September 29, 2020