Gammons For London
November 12, 2020 6:25 AM Subscribe
Dr Peter Gammons is UKIP's candidate for London Mayor.
Since Nigel F'Tang departed to lead the Silly Party (currently being rebranded as the Very Silly Party), UKIP had lost its pre-eminent position at the far-right of British politics, becoming little more than a refuge for cranks, neo-Nazis, Gamergaters and other milkshake attractants. Now, having appointed as leader the dubious but recognisable Neil Hamilton, it's making a play to once more become the party of choice for angry, red-faced, pompous middle-aged men who want to stop immigrants, homosexuals, Europeans, women, liberals and so on from polluting the nation, and restore it once again to the glory to which it was raised by Henry V, Winston Churchill, Ian Botham, etc.
To this end it has announced its candidate for Mayor of London. Dr. Gammons is a professional "inspirational and motivational speaker" and claims to have spoken to rallies of up to 4 million people, becoming a "friend and adviser to Presidents, Prime Ministers, Royalty, Celebrities and World Leaders" in the process.
UKIP is no stranger to nominative determinism, having previously been led by Dick Braine.
Since Nigel F'Tang departed to lead the Silly Party (currently being rebranded as the Very Silly Party), UKIP had lost its pre-eminent position at the far-right of British politics, becoming little more than a refuge for cranks, neo-Nazis, Gamergaters and other milkshake attractants. Now, having appointed as leader the dubious but recognisable Neil Hamilton, it's making a play to once more become the party of choice for angry, red-faced, pompous middle-aged men who want to stop immigrants, homosexuals, Europeans, women, liberals and so on from polluting the nation, and restore it once again to the glory to which it was raised by Henry V, Winston Churchill, Ian Botham, etc.
To this end it has announced its candidate for Mayor of London. Dr. Gammons is a professional "inspirational and motivational speaker" and claims to have spoken to rallies of up to 4 million people, becoming a "friend and adviser to Presidents, Prime Ministers, Royalty, Celebrities and World Leaders" in the process.
UKIP is no stranger to nominative determinism, having previously been led by Dick Braine.
UKIP was the Nigel Farage Party. Farage is, of course, the media-designated Everyman, the Voice Of The Silent Majority of Hardworking Taxpaying Motorists Fed Up To The Back Teeth, and so on, and is given a platform dwarfing those of actual elected representatives, if not the opposition leader, so UKIP, as his vehicle was launched to prominence. When he bailed out to found the Brexit Party, UKIP deflated, becoming an empty shell, soon colonised by third-tier cranks.
We're looking at the C-team of British crankdom here, with both Farage's as yet unrenamed post-Brexit reactionary party and the Cummings-era Tories (who have eschewed the oaken stolidity of Burkean conservatism for the Revolutionary Communist Party and various Roko's Basilisk cultists Dom found demonstrating their high-decoupling capabilities on r/incel) having drained the top talent from the crank pool, leaving behind only the Dick Braines and Dr. Gammonses. This is not even Elizabeth Holmes cosplaying Steve Jobs-level low-calibre; this is generic-dude-with-a-vape-pen-permanently-affixed-above-his-goatee asserting that he is totally the next Elon Musk level; grifts all the way down.
posted by acb at 6:50 AM on November 12, 2020 [9 favorites]
We're looking at the C-team of British crankdom here, with both Farage's as yet unrenamed post-Brexit reactionary party and the Cummings-era Tories (who have eschewed the oaken stolidity of Burkean conservatism for the Revolutionary Communist Party and various Roko's Basilisk cultists Dom found demonstrating their high-decoupling capabilities on r/incel) having drained the top talent from the crank pool, leaving behind only the Dick Braines and Dr. Gammonses. This is not even Elizabeth Holmes cosplaying Steve Jobs-level low-calibre; this is generic-dude-with-a-vape-pen-permanently-affixed-above-his-goatee asserting that he is totally the next Elon Musk level; grifts all the way down.
posted by acb at 6:50 AM on November 12, 2020 [9 favorites]
Using stock footage of Birmingham in a London mayoral bid is an interesting technique
posted by brilliantmistake at 6:55 AM on November 12, 2020 [12 favorites]
posted by brilliantmistake at 6:55 AM on November 12, 2020 [12 favorites]
At what point did the master simulation simply decide to stop even trying to fool us?
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:07 AM on November 12, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:07 AM on November 12, 2020 [5 favorites]
Soundtrack for the thread: Coming over here
posted by flabdablet at 8:50 AM on November 12, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 8:50 AM on November 12, 2020 [3 favorites]
Soundtrack for the thread: Coming over here
Hard to fully express how glad I am that this exists, thank you for sharing!
posted by Meatbomb at 9:12 AM on November 12, 2020
Hard to fully express how glad I am that this exists, thank you for sharing!
posted by Meatbomb at 9:12 AM on November 12, 2020
The original bit that the soundtrack samples is a thing of beauty and a joy forever as well.
posted by flabdablet at 9:58 AM on November 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 9:58 AM on November 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
Screw these guys, but also it just occurred to me that a man named Gammon could have a campaign slogan of “going HAM on immigration”
posted by cali at 10:07 AM on November 12, 2020
posted by cali at 10:07 AM on November 12, 2020
So obviously *I* get the joke...but how would you explain it to my friend...
posted by DCCooper at 10:33 AM on November 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by DCCooper at 10:33 AM on November 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
Gammon is a type of ham so basically a pig's leg. There's a double allusion where the person is so opinionated that they're red in the face like the color of gammon, and also politics with pigs snouts in troughs. It's a perjorative in UK politics primarily, basically calling out some mediocre old white male who knows nothing but projects the illusion of confidence through braggadocio.
The UKIP shares a lot of these traits, being primarily composed of white, clueless but braggadocios males, which makes the candidate's name being "Gammon" a bit too on the nose, and hence humourous.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 10:43 AM on November 12, 2020 [4 favorites]
The UKIP shares a lot of these traits, being primarily composed of white, clueless but braggadocios males, which makes the candidate's name being "Gammon" a bit too on the nose, and hence humourous.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 10:43 AM on November 12, 2020 [4 favorites]
Also, OED definition for gammon: "Absurd, worthless, or manifestly false talk or ideas; rubbish, nonsense. Cf. gammon and spinach ... Now somewhat archaic". It gives examples including:
1805 T. Harral Scenes of Life III. 105 ‘Come, come, none of your gammon!’ cried one, ‘tell us where the other black sheep is’.
1837 C. Dickens Pickwick Papers xxiv. 251 Some people maintains that an Englishman's house is his castle. That's gammon.
1845 B. Disraeli Sybil III. vi. iii. 175 Morley has got round them, preaching moral force and all that sort of gammon.
There is some more Dickens in the Wikipedia entry.
(The "gammon and spinach" examples the dictionary gives include:
1807 ‘Q. Queerum’ Ashburner's New Vocal & Poetic Repository 185 With a rowly powly, Gammon and spinnage, O heigh, said Anthony Rowly.
1849 C. Dickens David Copperfield (1850) xxii. 232 What a world of gammon and spinnage it is, though, ain't it!
2012 Daily Tel. (Nexis) 16 Apr. 22 Lots of stuff about level playing fields and EU employment legislation. To which I say gammon and spinach!)
posted by paduasoy at 10:54 AM on November 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
1805 T. Harral Scenes of Life III. 105 ‘Come, come, none of your gammon!’ cried one, ‘tell us where the other black sheep is’.
1837 C. Dickens Pickwick Papers xxiv. 251 Some people maintains that an Englishman's house is his castle. That's gammon.
1845 B. Disraeli Sybil III. vi. iii. 175 Morley has got round them, preaching moral force and all that sort of gammon.
There is some more Dickens in the Wikipedia entry.
(The "gammon and spinach" examples the dictionary gives include:
1807 ‘Q. Queerum’ Ashburner's New Vocal & Poetic Repository 185 With a rowly powly, Gammon and spinnage, O heigh, said Anthony Rowly.
1849 C. Dickens David Copperfield (1850) xxii. 232 What a world of gammon and spinnage it is, though, ain't it!
2012 Daily Tel. (Nexis) 16 Apr. 22 Lots of stuff about level playing fields and EU employment legislation. To which I say gammon and spinach!)
posted by paduasoy at 10:54 AM on November 12, 2020 [2 favorites]
was @ Gammons4London really the only handle available
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:19 PM on November 12, 2020
posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 12:19 PM on November 12, 2020
Google “gammon insult”, and look at the images. That should explain the joke. Reactionary red faced angry middle aged men.
And unusually for a British insult, you can be gammon from any class. John Cleese is gammon, and Jim Davidson is also gammon. Part of what seems to really get up the nose of gammon is how indiscriminate it is in its dismissiveness. Old? Apoplectic? Reactionary? Male? Gammon.
posted by tinkletown at 12:40 PM on November 12, 2020 [1 favorite]
And unusually for a British insult, you can be gammon from any class. John Cleese is gammon, and Jim Davidson is also gammon. Part of what seems to really get up the nose of gammon is how indiscriminate it is in its dismissiveness. Old? Apoplectic? Reactionary? Male? Gammon.
posted by tinkletown at 12:40 PM on November 12, 2020 [1 favorite]
In an alternate universe, salty gammon embraced its necessary tempering at the hands of sweet and sharp bromeliads from the other side of the world.
We, on the other hand, ended up with it getting puffed-up through a stuffing of flaccid Etonian chipolata.
I think Michel Roux Jr. ending his tenure was the point of divergence :(
posted by protorp at 1:38 PM on November 12, 2020
We, on the other hand, ended up with it getting puffed-up through a stuffing of flaccid Etonian chipolata.
I think Michel Roux Jr. ending his tenure was the point of divergence :(
posted by protorp at 1:38 PM on November 12, 2020
I know reality has a well known liberal bias, but this is just taking the piss now.
Always love the Dead Ringers Farage.
posted by MattWPBS at 3:04 PM on November 12, 2020
Always love the Dead Ringers Farage.
posted by MattWPBS at 3:04 PM on November 12, 2020
Found an online copy of Stewart Lee's "coming over here" bit
posted by flabdablet at 7:32 PM on November 12, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by flabdablet at 7:32 PM on November 12, 2020 [5 favorites]
I am a huge fan, and think the "UKIP" bit is pretty much the best he has ever done. Well worth a watch.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:03 PM on November 12, 2020
posted by Meatbomb at 8:03 PM on November 12, 2020
Apologies if it was mentioned above, but I thought "gammon" in its current form stemmed from a tweet about the programme Question Time, which is notorious for privileging right-wing, brexiteer voices. The tweetant posted a screen shot of the members of the audience selected to ask questions of the panel, a range of angry, red-faced, angry old white men, and referred to it as "The wall of Gammon", as that's what their faces resembled. It immediately caught on as it was snappy and apposite.
As I'm an irritable old white man, I can use the word "gammon" as much as I like.
posted by Grangousier at 12:13 AM on November 13, 2020 [1 favorite]
As I'm an irritable old white man, I can use the word "gammon" as much as I like.
posted by Grangousier at 12:13 AM on November 13, 2020 [1 favorite]
Objecting to "gammon" or "OK Boomer" is just political correctness gone mad.
posted by flabdablet at 12:35 AM on November 13, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by flabdablet at 12:35 AM on November 13, 2020 [1 favorite]
I think, strictly speaking, it’s madness gone politically correct.
posted by Grangousier at 2:04 AM on November 13, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Grangousier at 2:04 AM on November 13, 2020 [5 favorites]
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posted by lalochezia at 6:26 AM on November 12, 2020 [3 favorites]