People who drink juice don’t need a handle!
November 20, 2020 9:05 AM   Subscribe

 
...uh... coffee flavored milk? Is this a thing in AUS? (I mean, milk-flavored coffee I have seen before - not me, I like it black - but the other way around? Milk drinkers are thinking "damn I miss the bitter taste of coffee, can I make my milk like that?")
posted by caution live frogs at 9:30 AM on November 20


Opening food (and other product) packaging is a daily struggle rich in opportunities for harm. To eat, one often endures mind-warping frustration during morning brain-fog or while your child's brain turns to jelly, and also risks personal injury.
posted by Caxton1476 at 9:34 AM on November 20 [3 favorites]


Did somebody say coffee milk?

(cue all the RI Mefites)
posted by Huffy Puffy at 9:50 AM on November 20 [6 favorites]


I dream of a future where *all* products come in ball jars, which have deposities and can be returned to the store to be washed and re used.

Barring that, I am a fan of shrink wrap.
posted by rebent at 9:53 AM on November 20 [3 favorites]


I remember when none of the cartons "with the triangle at the top" had a twist-off cap, and you had to struggle to pry open one side of the top while praying it didn't end up a shredded mess. The caps still look weird to me, but they sure are easier to deal with.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:24 AM on November 20 [3 favorites]


this was goddamn hilarious thank you
posted by capnsue at 10:48 AM on November 20 [2 favorites]


I (raised in the US) have no problem with those milk cartons, having opened them regularly since kindergarten, but my husband (raised in the middle east) did not grow up with them and seriously canNOT. I swear he must chew them open or something when I'm not around. Are they really that hard?
posted by mosst at 10:55 AM on November 20 [1 favorite]


As a child in elementary school we got milk every day. In the small cartons. But they opened the same as the large cartons. Now children are not very co-ordinated, so opening those was a serious task. Until we discovered that a pencil will punch a hole in the top just the right size for a straw.
posted by Splunge at 11:05 AM on November 20


>...uh... coffee flavored milk? Is this a thing in AUS?
It's a thing in the US for sure, at least in Rhode Island. The same way you can buy Chocolate syrup or strawberry syrup, you can buy coffee syrup. It only has a tiny bit of coffee flavor though, mostly it's just high fructose corn syrup.
posted by mrgoldenbrown at 11:07 AM on November 20 [1 favorite]


So most of these have very good reasons for being in their selected packages. I could go on annoyingly long about fruit and vegetable packaging. I dont understand scissor packaging. That is dumb. I hate it. so much.
posted by thefileclerk at 11:07 AM on November 20


Ha. That was pretty good. I also just watched his Every Family at a Restaurant. Also pretty good.

Opening food (and other product) packaging is a daily struggle rich in opportunities for harm. To eat, one often endures mind-warping frustration during morning brain-fog or while your child's brain turns to jelly, and also risks personal injury.

The great thing about bagged milk is that it introduces scissors to the mix by necessity, thereby upping the danger factor. Unless you have one of those milk bag opener thingies. But as someone prone to accidentally cutting myself in the kitchen, I could probably find a way.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:08 AM on November 20 [2 favorites]


Are they really that hard?

They were extraordinarily difficult for me as a child. I haven't encountered any as an adult, so I cling to the hope that my dexterity has improved over the years.
posted by Monochrome at 11:11 AM on November 20 [1 favorite]


I too have never had a problem with these containers, being a USian at birth. But upon moving to Sweden found milk to be sold in rectangular 1 liter cartons with a little folded seam on the top that you just ripped off with no possibility for recourse. Since Swedes love their cultured filmjölk, there was often one of these hanging out in a fridge, open to the elements and making the whole fridge stink of sour milk.

These slim, regular containers were I suppose an improvement over the cardboard tetrahedrons they used to sell milk in. The form of these gave name to the Swedish company that marketed the packaging, Tetra-Pak. The tetrahedron forms remain for minature single-use coffee-milk packaging frequently found in offices.

My daughter is so used to Tetra-Pak that during a recent trip to the States she wondered over the lack of Tetra-Pak packaging, which I finally found for her containing Canadian goat milk. She did not let me buy it.

Milk in Sweden now comes in packages that look like what I grew up with, with a little roof on top. But the doublefold opening has been replaced with a plastic cap which at least lets the container be resealed for storage.
posted by St. Oops at 11:16 AM on November 20


As a kid in Louisiana, milk in school came in little single-serving clear plastic pouches that you would stab with a sharp straw. Sort of like Capri-Sun, but much thinner, without the foil, and with more of a blob shape that on the plus side made it easier to not glance off the bag, but did increase the likelihood of stabbing through both sides.

Anyway, that’s how they served milk to kindergartners. [Other states used the waterproof box, like normal people.]
posted by Huffy Puffy at 11:26 AM on November 20 [2 favorites]


As a child in elementary school we got milk every day. In the small cartons. But they opened the same as the large cartons.

Back when I was a kid in the 60s, our school milk came in triangular cartons like this evil thing. You had to hit them just right with the straw to poke it through. Paper straws. @#$&$!
posted by Thorzdad at 11:38 AM on November 20


Obligatory Dairy Farmers of Ontario Content.
posted by bonehead at 11:42 AM on November 20 [3 favorites]


Haha jokes on them. I have my Vegemite in an easy peesy squeezy tube. Because nothing says class like dark brown left over brewer's yeast extract slowly being squeezed out of a tube on to your food....mmm, delicious!
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:45 AM on November 20 [5 favorites]


I remember when none of the cartons "with the triangle at the top" had a twist-off cap, and you had to struggle to pry open one side of the top while praying it didn't end up a shredded mess.

I'm old enough to remember where sometimes your restaurant soft drink came in a carton, instead of a cup with a separate plastic lid.

I haven't seen it that way in 30 years, but when I my dad use to get his morning Dr Pepper at the local donut shop (he is 68 and has never been a coffee man), they'd put it in a large milk carton thing and then fold up the flats and keep them close with a tiny plastic clip.

Perhaps plastic lid technology has advanced enough since the late 80's to make the carton way obsolete, or maybe our donut people were just into novel drink systems.
posted by sideshow at 11:47 AM on November 20


>I dream of a future where *all* products come in ball jars, which have deposities and can be returned to the store to be washed and re used.

We’re Going To Enjoy This Cocaine-Fueled Mason Jar Rocket Ride For As Long As It Lasts

posted by stinkfoot at 1:44 PM on November 20 [4 favorites]


> cardboard tetrahedrons they used to sell milk in

I used to get orange juice in those.

In a baseball stadium in Havana I got a cup of coffee in a little paper origami cup that I presume the coffee seller had folded himself. Just normal paper, folded. Drink fast!
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:56 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]


I used to get orange juice in those.

Lovely jubbly.
posted by biffa at 3:09 PM on November 20


Cheap wine: Put it in a bag, and put the bag in a box, with a convenient plastic spout!

Expensive wine: Put it in a heavy glass bottle, sealed with a cork you need a metal tool to dig out, which is also sealed with foil you need another metal tool to cut off!

Seems like they should reverse that.
posted by ejs at 6:07 PM on November 20 [2 favorites]


...uh... coffee flavored milk? Is this a thing in AUS?

It is, yeah. The same brands that make chocolate and strawberry flavored milk also make "iced coffee" flavor. Farmers Union and Big M are two popular kinds.

Flavored milks in Australia are marketed less to kids (some kids bring milk to school or buy it there, but it isn't as common as in the US) and more to teens and adults. And they're marketed as almost a refreshing cold drink you might buy instead of a Coke. A meat pie and a Big M was considered a respectable lunch for a tradesman to buy when I was a kid (not sure if people have gotten healthier now).

This is a good article that, as someone who grew up in Australia, made me realize how weird that is. I didn't know that it partially grew out of a war with soda companies for fridge space at local stores.
posted by retrograde at 6:29 PM on November 20 [7 favorites]


I have watched this several times now. It is still funny even after repeat viewings.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:11 PM on November 20 [1 favorite]


I vaguely remember these milk cartons from elementary school. Mostly I got them open using the squeeze method. Sometimes that failed and I had to resort to trying on the other side. If that failed, I jammed a straw in by main force.

Anybody remember Capri-Sun? Erm... put it in a squashy packet, tape a tiny straw to it, and let them have at it trying to poke the tiny straw through the tiny hole, the better to get at the fake-fruit goodness inside...

... Hold my wine (in a stemless glass, of course)... seems they still produce the squashy packets... !
posted by Armed Only With Hubris at 11:30 PM on November 20


My elementary school years bridged the milk carton to plastic bag eras. I vividly remember with the plastic bag, once you were done drinking the milk, you could blow up the bag into a balloon, punch the straw through to the other side, and make yourself a spinny toy.

I will say, the cartons were a heck of a lot easier to open than the single-serve orange juice with foil tops. I hate those with a burning passion. You still get them on airplane breakfast trays (or you used to, pre-covid) and although I love orange juice in the morning, I nope out of that every time.

I also remember for snack time, the teacher would haul out this massive thing of grape juice with a tin lid that had to be pried open with some kind of very sharp "teacher only" tool, which looked like this only probably didn't say Budweiser on it. (But who knows?) I'm pretty sure pop top cans existed by the early 1990s....
posted by basalganglia at 4:34 AM on November 21


As a school kid in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s our milk came in tiny little glass bottles with foil lids on. One third of a pint each, I think. The satisfaction of puncturing that taut foil with a little blue straw was immense. It went through with a little metallic "plink" sound.

And the milk was so creamy. I think it must've been full fat homogenised at a time when "normal" milk always had the cream on top, so once you'd drunk that the rest was thinner. By comparison, homogenised tasted creamy all the way through the bottle.

I'd not really thought about it until now, but that seems to have gone out with the disappearance of milkmen delivering glass bottles to the door. Supermarket plastic bottles are pretty much always homogenised, which makes me miss the joy of getting to be the one who got the cream on your cereal. Happened around the time semi-skimmed came in, I guess, which was also not really thing from the milkman in bygone days.
posted by penguin pie at 4:24 PM on November 21


Using context clues, I gather that broccolini in Australia—a place that is about as far away from the East Coast of the United States as one can reasonably get and still acquire broccolini—also always has purple elastics only.
posted by lampoil at 3:46 PM on November 22 [2 favorites]


I still find this hilarious on my (probably) 75th rewatch. Not sure why I do, probably related to my intense hatred of idiotic design.

If you've spent enough time in Australia to understand the relationships between the states/territories, Jimmy Rees' "Meanwhile in Australia' videos are also worth watching.
posted by kjs4 at 9:25 PM on November 22


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