We need to talk about Gerald
November 23, 2020 2:36 PM Subscribe
Molly Flanagan met Gerald about three years ago, during one of her visits to Oakland’s Morcom Rose Garden, a miniature valley tucked off Grand Avenue where volunteer gardeners tend beds of flowers blooming among giant oaks and redwoods. She described him as a “magnificent individual,” alternately friendly and stoic. Gerald, a wild turkey of the Meleagris gallopavo species, would occasionally puff up his chest and display his feathers in her presence. Flanagan said she never felt intimidated. She watched him saunter about the garden and sometimes stand near her in line for one of the casual carpools that pick up passengers on Oakland Avenue. Gerald had become such a regular neighborhood presence that Flanagan considered him a member of her community. But something changed in the winter of 2019: the bird’s once-friendly relationship with people turned hostile.
In mid-October of 2020, Gerald was successfully captured and relocated.
I’m acquainted with this turkey but I was out of town for an extended period so I didn’t know that they literally closed the park for a while because of the turkey.
posted by atoxyl at 3:02 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by atoxyl at 3:02 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
I know this turkey because the one time I visited the Rose Garden he was vary clear that I should not get near him or his lady friend and I was cool with that because man, a turkey can mess you up.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:03 PM on November 23, 2020 [5 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 3:03 PM on November 23, 2020 [5 favorites]
This article at one point says "Gerald’s behavior wasn’t normal. Turkeys don’t usually stalk across busy streets or chase people unprovoked."
I disagree. I kept turkeys as a kid - we had chickens and turkeys and pigs, and at one point, a horse. Male turkeys were not to be fucked with. They could get super offensive, and would spread out their wings and kind of drag their wing tips on the ground as they ran at you - it was seriously scary as a kid. A full-grown male turkey is... a really big bird. The claws, the beak, the wings - all big and strong. I have no trouble imagining a male turkey (esp. a wild or pseudo-wild one) getting aggressive with park-goers. It's too bad because lady turkeys, on the other hand, can be the sweetest animal friends imaginable - we had several that would literally jog over and sit down - nestle down - next to you in the grass and just hang out.
posted by niicholas at 3:04 PM on November 23, 2020 [29 favorites]
I disagree. I kept turkeys as a kid - we had chickens and turkeys and pigs, and at one point, a horse. Male turkeys were not to be fucked with. They could get super offensive, and would spread out their wings and kind of drag their wing tips on the ground as they ran at you - it was seriously scary as a kid. A full-grown male turkey is... a really big bird. The claws, the beak, the wings - all big and strong. I have no trouble imagining a male turkey (esp. a wild or pseudo-wild one) getting aggressive with park-goers. It's too bad because lady turkeys, on the other hand, can be the sweetest animal friends imaginable - we had several that would literally jog over and sit down - nestle down - next to you in the grass and just hang out.
posted by niicholas at 3:04 PM on November 23, 2020 [29 favorites]
Also see: this This American Life block from 2011 about a savage turkey on Martha’s Vineyard.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:07 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by Going To Maine at 3:07 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
Sheesh, just eat him if he's such an asshole. (But that's my answer for problem black bears, too.)
Ultimately this is a story about a neighborhood and govt agencies trying to decide if this turkey is a pet or food.
p.s. Turkeys are super dumb. Much stupider than deer, for example. Toms will get into fights with plastic decoys and at no point will they realize they're fighting a fake bird.
posted by ryanrs at 3:15 PM on November 23, 2020 [3 favorites]
Ultimately this is a story about a neighborhood and govt agencies trying to decide if this turkey is a pet or food.
p.s. Turkeys are super dumb. Much stupider than deer, for example. Toms will get into fights with plastic decoys and at no point will they realize they're fighting a fake bird.
posted by ryanrs at 3:15 PM on November 23, 2020 [3 favorites]
"Turkeys are super dumb" if the hominid doesn't say so himself
posted by elkevelvet at 3:19 PM on November 23, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by elkevelvet at 3:19 PM on November 23, 2020 [3 favorites]
Turkeys are super dumb.
You’re speaking of our national bird.
(If Ben Franklin had his way.)
posted by njohnson23 at 3:22 PM on November 23, 2020 [5 favorites]
You’re speaking of our national bird.
(If Ben Franklin had his way.)
posted by njohnson23 at 3:22 PM on November 23, 2020 [5 favorites]
Another, darker theory emerged: maybe the bird was actually an imposter who killed the real Gerald in a fight last winter.
There is 1 turkposter Among Us.
posted by axiom at 3:41 PM on November 23, 2020 [22 favorites]
There is 1 turkposter Among Us.
posted by axiom at 3:41 PM on November 23, 2020 [22 favorites]
Coming from the wilds of deepest Alabama, I can assure you that wild turkeys are not dumb at all. They know every trick in the book to keep from being hunted successfully, even in areas where they haven't seen a human in decades. They are also masters at sneaking up behind you when you least expect it, and letting out a war whoop and flogging you near to death, just for fun and meanness. They are outfitted with three inch long death spurs, and if you come into contact with those, you will have a scar and a story to tell for the rest of your life.
I have no doubt they are the physical descendants of velociraptors.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 3:42 PM on November 23, 2020 [39 favorites]
I have no doubt they are the physical descendants of velociraptors.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 3:42 PM on November 23, 2020 [39 favorites]
Anyone who thinks wild turkeys are dumb has not talked to a frustrated hunter.
posted by tavella at 3:46 PM on November 23, 2020 [8 favorites]
posted by tavella at 3:46 PM on November 23, 2020 [8 favorites]
There was a golf course with alligators and turkeys and, iirc, visitors were informed of the crocodiles and warned about the turkeys.
One of the buildings in my area was hazed by a goose that would come sprinting out of somewhere to hiss at people coming and going from the front door. We get yearly warnings about geese (and turkeys when I was in college).
Maybe all the large birds are just assholes.
posted by Slackermagee at 3:56 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
One of the buildings in my area was hazed by a goose that would come sprinting out of somewhere to hiss at people coming and going from the front door. We get yearly warnings about geese (and turkeys when I was in college).
Maybe all the large birds are just assholes.
posted by Slackermagee at 3:56 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
I agree with ryanrs, what those folks have there is a freezer bird.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:01 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:01 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
This article at one point says "Gerald’s behavior wasn’t normal. Turkeys don’t usually stalk across busy streets or chase people unprovoked." I disagree.
Me too, niicholas. My general experience with city-dwelling turkeys has been such that I will cross the street to avoid one whose territory I need to navigate several times a week--even if it means I have to back up a block to the crosswalk.
posted by pangolin party at 4:05 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
Me too, niicholas. My general experience with city-dwelling turkeys has been such that I will cross the street to avoid one whose territory I need to navigate several times a week--even if it means I have to back up a block to the crosswalk.
posted by pangolin party at 4:05 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
He just needs to learn his place in the pecking order
posted by InfidelZombie at 4:21 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by InfidelZombie at 4:21 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
I live with wild turkeys. Almost literally. A large group of about 20 (it fluctuates) lives in the woods on the perimeter of my backyard, in the crook of a huge old growth double-trunked pine tree, and most days they pass through on their rounds. Lately they are sticking around to go after the sweet unfrozen dirt and grass seed under straw mulch on my leach field. They know me, and I know them. And we have rules.
They are not stupid, at all. They are canny and collectivist and you definitely do not want to engage in close hostilities with them, which these rural birds (who also have to worry about hunters, of which I am one except I friggin hate turkey), mostly avoid. They know if I am just sitting on the back porch they can peck away at my lawn. But if I stand up, they scatter in the most amusingly dignified way, stopping to puff up in indignation at being disrupted, but always working their way back to the cover of the woods.
They’re badass birds, tough as nails and very well adapted to living amongst humans.
At night they often squawk and call from their HQ, about 100 yards from my porch across a flat leach field, loudly, at random intervals. If it’s really annoying I’ll shine a flashlight over at their tree and it shuts them up for a while.
posted by spitbull at 4:21 PM on November 23, 2020 [21 favorites]
They are not stupid, at all. They are canny and collectivist and you definitely do not want to engage in close hostilities with them, which these rural birds (who also have to worry about hunters, of which I am one except I friggin hate turkey), mostly avoid. They know if I am just sitting on the back porch they can peck away at my lawn. But if I stand up, they scatter in the most amusingly dignified way, stopping to puff up in indignation at being disrupted, but always working their way back to the cover of the woods.
They’re badass birds, tough as nails and very well adapted to living amongst humans.
At night they often squawk and call from their HQ, about 100 yards from my porch across a flat leach field, loudly, at random intervals. If it’s really annoying I’ll shine a flashlight over at their tree and it shuts them up for a while.
posted by spitbull at 4:21 PM on November 23, 2020 [21 favorites]
I've never had any problems with the Albany Gill Tract turkeys that occasionally pass through my neighborhood, but then I don't make an effort to get up close and personal with them.
A few months ago I was weeding my front yard and one of the females ambled after me while I worked, pecking at the overturned soil. She had a noticeable limp. I see her every now and again but she doesn't come and supervise me on a regular basis.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 4:24 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
A few months ago I was weeding my front yard and one of the females ambled after me while I worked, pecking at the overturned soil. She had a noticeable limp. I see her every now and again but she doesn't come and supervise me on a regular basis.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 4:24 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
If it’s really annoying I’ll shine a flashlight over at their tree and it shuts them up for a while.
I wish that worked with some of my neighbors.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:51 PM on November 23, 2020 [12 favorites]
I wish that worked with some of my neighbors.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:51 PM on November 23, 2020 [12 favorites]
Turkeys are super dumb. Much stupider than deer, for example. Toms will get into fights with plastic decoys and at no point will they realize they're fighting a fake bird.
That's nothing. There's a species of great ape that gets so overexcited by even just photographs of sexually receptive members of its species that they will bring themselves to sexual climax, like they can't even tell it's just a flat picture. Stupid apes.
posted by biogeo at 5:08 PM on November 23, 2020 [54 favorites]
That's nothing. There's a species of great ape that gets so overexcited by even just photographs of sexually receptive members of its species that they will bring themselves to sexual climax, like they can't even tell it's just a flat picture. Stupid apes.
posted by biogeo at 5:08 PM on November 23, 2020 [54 favorites]
I'm amazed Gerald was so chill for so long, actually. It's a huge LOL to claim that wild turkeys don't misbehave usually and then list a bunch of famous misbehaving turkeys (including one I was about to mention).
I do love the story of how he was captured, though.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:20 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
I do love the story of how he was captured, though.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:20 PM on November 23, 2020 [1 favorite]
When I used to live in Berkeley, I'd run into turkeys walking down the sidewalk on a regular basis. If they saw you coming their way they'd just casually cross the street and continue walking in the same direction on the opposite sidewalk.
To be fair, I would cross the street if I saw me too.
posted by brundlefly at 6:42 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
To be fair, I would cross the street if I saw me too.
posted by brundlefly at 6:42 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
One thing I miss a lot about Peoria is that in all the (urban) parks where you could go hiking, there were wild turkeys, and I loved hiking through the woods on the river bluffs and seeing tom turkeys with their harems and their poults. The ladies were always polite and sifting through the leaf detritus to find food and would just give you a glance as you walked by, but the toms would fix you with a gimlet stare as you came within 10 yards of any of their hens, and if the path strayed closer to their harem, they'd haul all their tailfeathers up in a display to let you know they were very large and frightening and you should definitely be scared.
There were plenty of hunters in the area, and the turkeys had plenty of wildland and crop margins to forage, so they never got aggressive, but gosh I loved it when a tom turkey warning hikers off his harem would flair his tailfeathers and puff up and make noises. And some of those low-pitched noises they can make are INSANE. Not as insane as emu noises, but pretty insane.
I'm told they're getting more common in the Chicago area forest preserves, but it's not like Peoria where you could see two dozen turkeys at any park you hiked at. Like, seeing deer is great, especially when you see fawns, and seeing coyotes is pretty cool (they're all over Chicagoland), but seeing turkeys is AWESOME.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:47 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
There were plenty of hunters in the area, and the turkeys had plenty of wildland and crop margins to forage, so they never got aggressive, but gosh I loved it when a tom turkey warning hikers off his harem would flair his tailfeathers and puff up and make noises. And some of those low-pitched noises they can make are INSANE. Not as insane as emu noises, but pretty insane.
I'm told they're getting more common in the Chicago area forest preserves, but it's not like Peoria where you could see two dozen turkeys at any park you hiked at. Like, seeing deer is great, especially when you see fawns, and seeing coyotes is pretty cool (they're all over Chicagoland), but seeing turkeys is AWESOME.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:47 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
When I used to live in Berkeley, I'd run into turkeys walking down the sidewalk on a regular basis. If they saw you coming their way they'd just casually cross the street and continue walking in the same direction on the opposite sidewalk.
...I feel like there is some sort of East Coast/West Coast divide among the North American wild turkey population. In the People's Republic of Cambridge, the wild turkeys are more likely to see you coming and decide it's a great time to hang out in the middle of the sidewalk - or bike lane, or street - and force you to go around them. Whether the "you" in question is a lone pedestrian or bicyclist, a gaggle of tourists, or two lanes of honking cars, piloted by Boston drivers. And those're the chill times! There are also the times when a pack of them decides it'd be a great idea to follow you. Now, technically I assume that the collective noun for turkeys is a flock, or something similarly innocuous, but when a bunch of these fuckers are stalking after you - and, mind, we're talking birds that're at least knee high, with some visible beak-and-talon weaponry - that distant velociraptor relationship can suddenly seem rather less distant, and "pack" seems much more apt.
That said, I was relieved to see that they made it through the initial lockdown phase this spring. I've gotta walk through Harvard Square to get to work unless I want to take stupid detours, and under normal circumstances, I appreciate any help - avian, saurian, or other - in keeping our wild tourist population in check. And seen from a respectful distance, they're pretty cool-looking birds.
posted by ASF Tod und Schwerkraft at 7:40 PM on November 23, 2020 [6 favorites]
...I feel like there is some sort of East Coast/West Coast divide among the North American wild turkey population. In the People's Republic of Cambridge, the wild turkeys are more likely to see you coming and decide it's a great time to hang out in the middle of the sidewalk - or bike lane, or street - and force you to go around them. Whether the "you" in question is a lone pedestrian or bicyclist, a gaggle of tourists, or two lanes of honking cars, piloted by Boston drivers. And those're the chill times! There are also the times when a pack of them decides it'd be a great idea to follow you. Now, technically I assume that the collective noun for turkeys is a flock, or something similarly innocuous, but when a bunch of these fuckers are stalking after you - and, mind, we're talking birds that're at least knee high, with some visible beak-and-talon weaponry - that distant velociraptor relationship can suddenly seem rather less distant, and "pack" seems much more apt.
That said, I was relieved to see that they made it through the initial lockdown phase this spring. I've gotta walk through Harvard Square to get to work unless I want to take stupid detours, and under normal circumstances, I appreciate any help - avian, saurian, or other - in keeping our wild tourist population in check. And seen from a respectful distance, they're pretty cool-looking birds.
posted by ASF Tod und Schwerkraft at 7:40 PM on November 23, 2020 [6 favorites]
I have some encounters on bike with stuborn wild turkeys in NorCal, but the wildest experience > have had was with a domestic Tom in the Dominican Republic. On a service trip a member of my party decided to make harassing noises at the Tom. He quickly puffed up and then exploded in flapping wings ascratching, ,and drove all of us out of his yard and a quarter mile down the road while our local hosts laughed at us.
posted by CostcoCultist at 8:26 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by CostcoCultist at 8:26 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]
Gerald is a proud immigrant to California, like the mighty Eucalyptus and Northern European Human, and should be treated with as much respect as those other invaders.
posted by benzenedream at 2:16 AM on November 24, 2020
posted by benzenedream at 2:16 AM on November 24, 2020
In my urban but nature-adjacent neighbourhood the coyotes took care of our local wild turkey flock.
posted by warriorqueen at 4:46 AM on November 24, 2020
posted by warriorqueen at 4:46 AM on November 24, 2020
(If Ben Franklin had his way.)
The story about Benjamin Franklin wanting the National Bird to be a turkey is just a myth. This false story began as a result of a letter Franklin wrote to his daughter criticizing the original eagle design for the Great Seal, saying that it looked more like a turkey.posted by zamboni at 6:06 AM on November 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
I live in Berkeley and frequently see a flock one town over in Albany. They’re kind of a curiosity for a lot of people. They cross at the crosswalk, the owner of a gas station feeds them and they hang out there frequently before going across the street to the field/urban farm they usually hang out in. Kids pose for pictures with them.
The only time I’ve seen them be violent is when they tried to tear the bumper off of a police car that eased into the crosswalk while they were trying to cross. And that was entirely the cop’s fault.
posted by mikesch at 6:26 AM on November 24, 2020 [5 favorites]
The only time I’ve seen them be violent is when they tried to tear the bumper off of a police car that eased into the crosswalk while they were trying to cross. And that was entirely the cop’s fault.
posted by mikesch at 6:26 AM on November 24, 2020 [5 favorites]
Having a turkey fly from a limb just above you during an early morning forest hike is thrilling. They blend in like no other creature and take off big.
Also: wild turkey feathers, especially the iridescent ones, are gorgeous, the colors of forest shadows. Always a treat to find one.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:35 AM on November 24, 2020 [5 favorites]
Also: wild turkey feathers, especially the iridescent ones, are gorgeous, the colors of forest shadows. Always a treat to find one.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:35 AM on November 24, 2020 [5 favorites]
MetaFilter: the sweetest animal friends imaginable.
Thank you for the great post, Lexica. Back when I lived in the area, I occasionally needed to dodge a turkey while riding my bike on the path under the Bart tracks between (kind of) El Cerrito and Berkeley. The story made me a wee bit homesick.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:42 AM on November 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
Thank you for the great post, Lexica. Back when I lived in the area, I occasionally needed to dodge a turkey while riding my bike on the path under the Bart tracks between (kind of) El Cerrito and Berkeley. The story made me a wee bit homesick.
posted by Bella Donna at 6:42 AM on November 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
Metafilter: Not as insane as emu noises, but pretty insane.
posted by y2karl at 12:30 PM on November 24, 2020
posted by y2karl at 12:30 PM on November 24, 2020
Remember when "Jive Turkey" was a thing? I'm old.
posted by valkane at 12:42 PM on November 24, 2020 [2 favorites]
posted by valkane at 12:42 PM on November 24, 2020 [2 favorites]
I live just over the hill from the Morcom Rose Garden. It's a gorgeous, natural space to enjoy safely during the pandemic. Geralds's ruffian behavior has given my neighbors on NextDoor something to argue about besides sniping about BLM and who qualifies as a suspicious person.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:58 PM on November 24, 2020 [1 favorite]
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:58 PM on November 24, 2020 [1 favorite]
I highly recommend the documentary My Life as a Turkey. It's one of those shows where they did a re-enactment based on a book, but it's pretty good. The story is about this biologist who asks his neighbour to bring him a nest of turkey eggs instead of running them over, and what happens when he gets the eggs. It really gives you a sense of how turkeys think, and it changed the way I think about birds.
posted by sneebler at 8:31 PM on November 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
posted by sneebler at 8:31 PM on November 24, 2020 [3 favorites]
I've spent a lot of time in that park and it's a nice place to sit or exercise. Always saw the turkeys and gave them a wide berth.
I'm at a bit of a loss to understand why people would go there knowing there was an animal that attacks people and not...carry some bear spray and/or a walking stick (legal in California)? Especially if they have kids?!
I'd like to understand the thinking there a little better.
posted by wuwei at 10:17 PM on November 24, 2020
I'm at a bit of a loss to understand why people would go there knowing there was an animal that attacks people and not...carry some bear spray and/or a walking stick (legal in California)? Especially if they have kids?!
I'd like to understand the thinking there a little better.
posted by wuwei at 10:17 PM on November 24, 2020
"Top of the food chain, baby! Rulers of Earth! Nothing can hurt us! Whoops, wait...RUN!! AHHHH!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:46 AM on November 25, 2020
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:46 AM on November 25, 2020
This explains a lot about the human-turkey wars.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:43 PM on December 5, 2020
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:43 PM on December 5, 2020
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posted by atoxyl at 2:59 PM on November 23, 2020 [2 favorites]