Still good doggos (sort of) tho
January 13, 2021 11:57 AM   Subscribe

Dire wolves: not actually wolves a new genetic study suggests.
posted by MartinWisse (25 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
The team went on to discover that Owlbears are related to neither owls nor bears, before tragically being killed by a Mimic disguised as a DNA sequencer.

(This has also reminded me that I used to read the article author's Laelaps blog years ago, and I should look out her writing again, so thank you!)
posted by Vortisaur at 12:51 PM on January 13 [20 favorites]


Very interesting. I only recently learned dire wolves were not a made up D&D thing, and now they're getting their own genus.
posted by skewed at 12:54 PM on January 13 [7 favorites]


So you’re saying they’re not lupus.
posted by curious nu at 12:55 PM on January 13 [41 favorites]


In retrospect, we should have suspected this all along. Consider: Dire Straits aren't actually straits.
posted by otherchaz at 1:21 PM on January 13 [10 favorites]


But are they still 600 pounds of sin?
posted by TedW at 1:49 PM on January 13 [11 favorites]


So you’re saying they’re not lupus.
posted by curious nu


They're never lupus.
posted by Splunge at 2:17 PM on January 13 [9 favorites]


Dire wolf skull wall at La Brea, one of the most metal things to actually exist.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:40 PM on January 13 [11 favorites]


That's crazy. "Dire Wolf Skull Wall" is the name of my quant fund.
posted by glonous keming at 2:48 PM on January 13 [40 favorites]


Is this like the "everything evolves into crabs" thing, but for wolves?
posted by emjaybee at 3:06 PM on January 13 [3 favorites]


They're all good, huge, savage, pack hunters Bront.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:11 PM on January 13 [17 favorites]


That's super interesting.
posted by medusa at 3:15 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


Dire Straits aren't actually straits.

Yeah, but calling themselves "Dire Band" could send the wrong message.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:28 PM on January 13 [2 favorites]


Consider: Dire Straits aren't actually straits.

And the town only named itself that because of something Pierre Trudeau said.
posted by clawsoon at 3:57 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


You just know that, sooner or later, some techbro with too much money is going to try and bring the species back to life as a badass accessory.
posted by acb at 4:01 PM on January 13 [2 favorites]


They'll need something to hunt Aurochs.
posted by Mitheral at 4:11 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


Hyenas are felines.
posted by parmanparman at 4:27 PM on January 13 [1 favorite]


I tried explaining this to Jolene and she just got mad that I woke her up.
posted by East14thTaco at 6:38 PM on January 13 [3 favorites]


But are they still 600 pounds of sin?

Regardless, I still wouldn’t want one to murder me.
posted by panama joe at 7:26 PM on January 13 [3 favorites]


https://www.metafilter.com/189994/Still-good-doggos-sort-of-tho#8047250

skewed: can you learn some relatively awesome beneficial to the world stuff in the near future that will manifest as new genuses within the world? We could use that about now.

I mean, the dire wolf thing was pretty great, but surely you can do more with your powers?
posted by hippybear at 10:26 PM on January 13


Man, this is going to send a lot of daemon AU fanfics scrambling. Wolf and dog daemons aren't the same thing at all!
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:30 AM on January 14


parmanparman thanks for the wikipedia rabbithole!! feliform carnivorans, who knew?
posted by supermedusa at 9:03 AM on January 14


This article prompted me to go browsing around Wikipedia's cladograms and found the (both extinct) bear dog (Amphicyonidae) and dog bear (Hemicyoninae). Really wouldn't want to get eaten by either of them. Artists' renditions w/ human for scale of Amphicyonidae and Hemicyoninae. Off to look for an ice-age open-world survival video game where you can watch super-sized feliformia compete with caniformia....
posted by ASCII Costanza head at 10:26 AM on January 14 [2 favorites]


Now...anyone else feel like a little giggle when I mention my fwend biggus...doggus?
posted by howfar at 1:30 PM on January 14


Hyenas are felines.

I tried to explain this to my kids, and they said no, no they're not. So you may want to update your records.
posted by medusa at 1:33 PM on January 14


My kids also explained to me that all living creatures are animals, plants included. Taxonomy is in for some significant updating.
posted by medusa at 1:42 PM on January 14


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