from daily poetry to chicken poo

January 27, 2021 12:35 PM

Lockdown cabin fever? 56 tried, tested and terrific ways to beat the boredom
posted by betweenthebars (26 comments total)

#1 is Draw Your Partner, but...

SPOILER

#2 Draw Your Chicken

#3 Draw Your Larry David

#4 Draw Your Cutest Child

#5 Draw Your Ugly-Cute Child

# 6 Draw Yourself Drawing Your Partner

I'm now up to #38, which is Draw Yourself a Johnny Marr Who Is Drawing a Picture of Your Partner. It's complicated because I don't have a partner, so my Johnny Marr is simply drawing a pair of comedy glasses and a hat.
posted by betweenthebars at 12:48 PM on January 27, 2021 [9 favorites]

They are apparently taking Warren Barrot’s approach to isolation.
posted by TedW at 1:02 PM on January 27, 2021

57. Get with child a mandrake root
posted by thelonius at 1:21 PM on January 27, 2021 [11 favorites]

When you’re middle class and get to the age of 52, your friends make chutney and give it to you. A lot.

Say what now? I mean, I'm not quite to 52, but this is the first indication there may be a sudden influx of chutney. Is there anything I can do to stop it?
posted by jzb at 1:26 PM on January 27, 2021 [3 favorites]

Hahaha I definitely received chutney while I was 52.

Nope, you can't stop it. I hope you like chutney.
posted by inexorably_forward at 2:05 PM on January 27, 2021 [1 favorite]

How do I start receiving the chutney before I turn 52?
posted by hototogisu at 2:16 PM on January 27, 2021 [6 favorites]

We've broken friendships over chutney - so people turning 52 please don't do this. Instead send others a nice card with a picture of your butter sculpture you made while in lockdown.
posted by Ashwagandha at 2:18 PM on January 27, 2021 [2 favorites]

In an Ask culture, tell chutney-makers that you admire their chutney even though you aren’t a chutney eater. In a Guess culture, tell this to non-chutney makers - several, to increase the chances of landing on a connected and non-hostile person.
posted by clew at 2:41 PM on January 27, 2021 [3 favorites]

It's funny because I can easily imagine this not being satire.
posted by ToddBurson at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2021

#4 was "Film spring coming into bloom", which is a worthwhile idea. But the paragraph explaining it begins thusly:

My son told me that the cure for lockdown boredom is to rush up to a stranger in the street, then (from a 2-metre distance) ask: “What year is it?” and, on hearing the answer, scream: “Oh my God, it WORKED!” and run away.

.....I don't know about you, but that sounds like an even better idea.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:36 PM on January 27, 2021 [11 favorites]

Metafilter: There may be a sudden influx of chutney
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:18 PM on January 27, 2021 [2 favorites]

If you had some way to travel through time ending up in 2021 doesn't sound like the best choice. Unless it's all going downhill from here. It is, isn't it?
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 4:25 PM on January 27, 2021 [1 favorite]

Well, now I feel better about all the inane crap I've been doing to keep myself sane.

I have not, however, received any chutney, despite being past my chutney-receiving prime.
posted by MrVisible at 4:35 PM on January 27, 2021 [1 favorite]

We've broken friendships over chutney

No friendship was ever sundered by homemade jam.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:15 PM on January 27, 2021 [3 favorites]

I thought the same thing, any portmanteau in a storm. Oh god, who'd want to time travel to NOW?

I did do a one woman show back in May, I just didn't show it to anyone. And I did just sign up for a class in how to do one!
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:31 PM on January 27, 2021 [1 favorite]

No friendship was ever sundered by homemade jam.

I don't think I've tried giving all of the NPCs in Stardew Valley homemade jam yet, but so far they all seem to like it so your theory holds.
posted by nubs at 8:18 PM on January 27, 2021 [1 favorite]

Where is my chutney? WHERE IS IT?

This is the oddest Guardian article I have ever read. It is not labeled as satire but I assume it must be satire because of the recommendation listed for Piers Morgan, who does not appear to be the kind of guy who would be a West Wing stan and is one of several older white British males who gave Greta Thunberg shit. (Warning, links to The Sun tabloid.) It’s also really long for satire; might it be a public and collective example of pandemic brain?

Please don’t get me wrong, betweenthebars. This is an excellent post, which I applaud. I am especially enamored of the My Little Pony drawings idea from the parent/artist unwilling to allow their child to sully their drawings by coloring them in. Top marks!
posted by Bella Donna at 1:37 AM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

We have a friend who make "creative" jams and jellies. She's luckily not following up on her gifts, so after a taste they remain at the back of the fridge for a year or so before being thrown out.
posted by Harald74 at 1:40 AM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

(Aside to MrVisible: Are you, Mr.Yuck, and MrBadExample part of a cabal by any chance? Asking for a friend; apologies for any typos.)
posted by Bella Donna at 1:40 AM on January 28, 2021 [2 favorites]

So, the different advice falls into a few categories: Be mindful of your surroundings / reach out to others / learn something new. Which is all well and good, and probably a good stepping stone. Here in Norway we're getting more of the different COVID mutations now, so we're probably going to need more lockdown activities for months and months to come.
posted by Harald74 at 1:41 AM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

BTW, my newest "thing" is to have a go at getting a HAM license (amateur radio, not meat). The equipment is a lot cheaper than it used to be, thanks to Chinese manufacturers starting to put good stuff out on the market. So I feel I can justify buying some gear if I manage to pass the exam.
posted by Harald74 at 1:50 AM on January 28, 2021

(I'm sort of banking on it being possible to take a socially distanced exam, though...)
posted by Harald74 at 1:50 AM on January 28, 2021

57. Get with child a mandrake root

I need a way of favouriting things more than once.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 5:02 AM on January 28, 2021 [2 favorites]

57. Get with child a mandrake root

I am so Donne with this thread.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:45 AM on January 28, 2021 [5 favorites]

Oh god, who'd want to time travel to NOW?

After The London Blitz, the Siege of Troy and the Crucifixion of Christ, January 2021 is going to be lit on the time travel circuit.
posted by Mitheral at 11:56 AM on January 28, 2021 [1 favorite]

We have a friend who make "creative" jams and jellies.

For Christmas we received an advent calendar filled with mini jars of "creative" jams. We've been working our way through them and their actual flavours aren't as interesting as the labels would have led us to believe which I guess makes it a safer thing to give but seeing how each jar has enough jam for maybe 2 slices of bread even a really strange tasting one would get finished before too long or thrown away without much guilt. It wasn't homemade jam but an actual product put out by a jam company, perhaps doing some market testing on possible new flavours.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:40 PM on January 28, 2021