you have made me a good deal of trouble & labor by your over-familiarity

January 31, 2021 1:16 PM

All the best--and worst!--presidential pets, ranked. From 44 (a bunch of silkworms), through a small group of non-existent or apocryphal pets, all the way to what is probably a surprising #1: One pet (or set of pets) per President, ranked.
posted by Huffy Puffy (29 comments total)

That was a fun read! I would have classified the Adams silkworms as livestock, but it’s a fine line. George Washington’s ham-stealing dog must have been the ancestor of my mother’s dog who ran off with Grandma’s whole Christmas goose in her teeth.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:41 PM on January 31, 2021 [2 favorites]

George Washington’s ham-stealing dog must have been the ancestor of my mother’s dog who ran off with Grandma’s whole Christmas goose in her teeth.

“Sons of bitches! Bumpuses!”
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 2:36 PM on January 31, 2021 [6 favorites]

The lady by no means relished the loss of a dish which formed the pride of her table, and uttered some remarks by no means favorable to old Vulcan, or indeed to dogs in general, while the chief, having heard the story, communicated it to his guests, and, with them, laughed heartily at the exploit of the stag-hound.

I think “uttered some remarks by no means favorable to” is a lovely and genteel way of describing the reaction towards a dog who has just run off with the main course of dinner.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:46 PM on January 31, 2021 [3 favorites]

This was both hilarious and interesting, thank you for the post!
posted by DTMFA at 2:53 PM on January 31, 2021 [1 favorite]

Silkworms are the ideal children’s pet. They are cheap, clean, do not smell and can be kept in a confined space.

Why silkworm caterpillars make fantastic and unusual pets

Silkworms are also delicious. Silkworms? Surprisingly edible.
posted by porpoise at 3:20 PM on January 31, 2021 [2 favorites]

There are a lot of highly questionable rankings here.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:21 PM on January 31, 2021 [3 favorites]

Great list, although surely LBJ’s little rescue dog Yuki belongs here rather than the pair of beagles he tortured. He seems actually to have loved Yuki.
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 3:25 PM on January 31, 2021 [1 favorite]

Still working my way through this, but after a little control-f'ing I'm sad to see that Carter's killer attack swamp rabbit didn't make the list.
posted by Mchelly at 3:54 PM on January 31, 2021 [7 favorites]

There are a lot of highly questionable rankings here.

Yeeeaaah, though I found it hard to disagree with 4, 3, and 2. I say bump Billy Possum back a ways and give Fala or Old Ike the top spot.
posted by May Kasahara at 4:12 PM on January 31, 2021

Great list, although surely LBJ’s little rescue dog Yuki belongs here rather than the pair of beagles he tortured.
Wait, so the Biden administration is lying about Major being the first rescue dog? Scandal! Biden might as well be wearing a tan suit. How will the US ever recover?
posted by mumimor at 4:54 PM on January 31, 2021 [5 favorites]

Carter's killer attack swamp rabbit

What the newspeople couldn't see from shore were all the other rabbits just beneath the surface breathing through reeds.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 5:02 PM on January 31, 2021 [4 favorites]

Wikipedia US Presidential Pets has the full list for reference.

"and as the saying goes, you ruin Andrew Jackson’s funeral with the parrots you have, not the parrots you want..."
posted by ovvl at 5:19 PM on January 31, 2021 [3 favorites]

Rebecca was robbed.
posted by wreckingball at 5:31 PM on January 31, 2021 [1 favorite]

INDEED. I mean, this very sentence alone means Rebecca should have been more than just a mention in Billy Possum's entry:

A few years before Hoover’s arrival in D.C., pet superfan Grace Coolidge saved a raccoon on its way to the Thanksgiving table, named it Rebecca, and built it a treehouse, where it happily lived out the Coolidge administration.

Like, I have so many questions. When it says "saved a raccoon on its way to the Thanksgiving table" . . . what does that mean? It sounds like the raccoon was going to be the main course until Grace intervened. Or does it mean the raccoon broke into the White House and made its way to the dining room table to abscond with the turkey, Vulcan-style, and Grace intervened and saved the raccoon from being sentenced to an unpleasant fate for turkey theft?
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 5:44 PM on January 31, 2021 [6 favorites]

Somebody sent the President a raccoon to eat for thanksgiving.
posted by Huffy Puffy at 6:04 PM on January 31, 2021 [1 favorite]

(said raccoon has her own Wikipedia page)
posted by Huffy Puffy at 6:12 PM on January 31, 2021 [1 favorite]

Every part of this was delightful. And Calvin Coolidge's grief for Rob Roy was heartbreakingly beautiful, so there. I adore possums so I was very happy with #1, although Jesus, I see why that toy didn't catch on.

(Also, Newfoundlands are my favorite dog breed and if I ever have one I am definitely naming them Veto, that's brilliant!)
posted by kalimac at 7:20 PM on January 31, 2021 [2 favorites]

just clicked to make sure socks wasn't supplanted by the wholly undeserving buddy (socks is #9)
posted by grandiloquiet at 8:10 PM on January 31, 2021 [2 favorites]

I'm amused that Veto literally veto'd that letter.

Still think Fala was ROBBED. Fala should have been #1.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:20 PM on January 31, 2021 [4 favorites]

I remembered something about an elephant and was disappointed it wasn't on this list...

Curiousity led me to 1860, when the King of what was then called Siam was trying to make good with the West and offered to send a herd of elephants to stock the USA with wild elephants ... or something to that effect...

Lincoln ended up declining ... which was apparently to whoever won the 1860 election...I guess everybody was a little distracted or something what with the Civil War starting and all... but anyway...

It got me thinking about the alternative history where America had relative large herds of Elephants and the subsequent narratives that could develop about invasive species/ecological implications and then realized they would probably end up in Florida for some reason because, of course, Florida would have an elephant problem...

Anyway...

I wonder who will be the first president with one of those boston dynamic dogrobots running around...
posted by albion moonlight at 8:30 PM on January 31, 2021 [1 favorite]

my old dog once brought home a whole frozen turkey, big as he was. It seemed fine- so we cooked it up and he got to eat it over the course of several meals. Always wondered where he got it from.
posted by cabin fever at 9:14 PM on January 31, 2021 [4 favorites]

Presumably someone was preparing a dinner and saw your dog disappearing out their back door with the turkey they had just pulled out of the deep freezer. They likely then uttered some remarks by no means favorable to your dog, or indeed to dogs in general.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:59 PM on January 31, 2021 [14 favorites]

That's a good story about Washington's dog. The following anecdote about Washington shows him to be a presidential-caliber asshole, though.

I saw Fala's statue when I was in DC in early 2000. The nose was shiny and was slowly disappearing because of all the friendly pats it got from people visiting FDR's memorial. I sometimes wonder whether the statue has a nose, now, at all.
posted by bryon at 10:44 PM on January 31, 2021 [2 favorites]

Somebody sent the President a raccoon to eat for thanksgiving.
posted by Huffy Puffy

OMG
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:52 AM on February 1, 2021

This is missing Trump’s pet “Slinky the Novel Cerebral Parasite”
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:33 AM on February 1, 2021 [2 favorites]

TIL that, after Republicans made up a story about his dog, FDR responded by having Orson Welles write a tight five about how Scottish dogs are cheapskates. And it killed.

I'd rank Pushinka a little bit higher--I mean, her parents both went to space!

(I would also rank Socks a little higher, and LBJ's dogs a little lower.)

But this is a good list.
posted by box at 9:09 AM on February 1, 2021 [1 favorite]

I was sure Fala would be number 1.
posted by jgirl at 10:22 AM on February 1, 2021 [2 favorites]

That was a really fun read. Meanwhile, I noticed this in the middle of the insanely long but adorably sadistic "Mrs. Beazley" video -- does the White House have a doggie door?!
posted by Mchelly at 10:35 AM on February 1, 2021 [1 favorite]

The dog who ran off with the goose was the same one who brought home the Corningware casserole we used for twenty years, so she totally redeemed herself.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:34 AM on February 2, 2021 [3 favorites]