Maybe You Should Call Your Show Newsy Things Considered

February 12, 2021 10:52 AM

Leo Shidla has a complaint. The 8 year-old NPR listener from Minneapolis recently pointed out a big problem with NPR's oldest news show, All Things Considered.
posted by JoeZydeco (33 comments total)

Well, the kid has a point. There's a reason Charles Pierce includes a dinosaur story in his Friday news roundups.
posted by NoxAeternum at 11:02 AM on February 12, 2021 [4 favorites]

All Things Considered is about to turn 50 years old. NPR's archivists found the word "dinosaur" appearing in stories 294 times in the show's history. By comparison, "senator" has appeared 20,447 times.

All Things Considered, Dinosaur, Senator ... what is this, a synonym-fest?
posted by chavenet at 11:04 AM on February 12, 2021 [14 favorites]

What the Vertebrate Palaeontology/Industrial Complex lacks in democratic legitimacy it makes up for in fanatical grassroots support.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 11:10 AM on February 12, 2021 [4 favorites]

No I actually think I would like to sleep on a whale.
posted by loquacious at 11:40 AM on February 12, 2021 [5 favorites]

(Sung to the show's theme tune)

All Things Considered
All Things Considered
All Things Considered
Well, Al-most!
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:03 PM on February 12, 2021 [6 favorites]

Found one: "Critics say Tyrannosaurus Rex was a carnivore, but a senior fellow from the Heritage Foundation said that T. Rex's diet was good free market principles." [fake]
posted by Gelatin at 12:05 PM on February 12, 2021 [6 favorites]

Kid has a long future of getting disappointed by the cool names and lack of interesting content that most things have.
posted by bleep at 12:07 PM on February 12, 2021 [7 favorites]

^ and that's the real "all things considered".
posted by bleep at 12:11 PM on February 12, 2021

In the 90s we used to pronounce it "ALLLLLLLLL Things Considered" in the most condescending and sarcastically stentorian fashion.
posted by rhizome at 12:11 PM on February 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised no post-newspaper 8 year old has written NBC to ask why "Meet The Press" doesn't use a real press.
posted by zaixfeep at 12:13 PM on February 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

That's reserved for their sister program, "Press the Meat".
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:49 PM on February 12, 2021 [7 favorites]

Dinosaur, Senator

I heard that Mexican revolutions around a century ago used to refer to the nation's legislature as the Museum of Natural History.
posted by doctornemo at 1:01 PM on February 12, 2021 [5 favorites]

During the nonstop Tflumpathon of the excruciating last four years, during which NPR became unbearable to me, I turned to the humane lifeboat that is CBC's As It Happens, which has a vastly more danceable theme tune and covers things other than American navelgazing BS. The 8-year-old in the house dances with me to the juiced-up modern arrangement of the knockout groove of "Curried Soul," then drifts in and out of states of interest.

I grew up with All Things Considered in our morning kitchen, way back to the original superfantastic Don Voegli theme tune era, and I'm getting comfortable with it again, but As It Happens reminds me how nice it is to not hear NPR eventalkers straining to make sports sound interesting or telling me that it's Drew Barrymore's birthday. The CBC's take on the theme seems more familiar than NPR's does of late, even though I know NPR's coverage is still important and good journalism. I just miss the fun parts.
posted by sonascope at 1:03 PM on February 12, 2021 [4 favorites]

Anyone else have to look up concavenator? I have not kept up on my dinosaurs. I need more Leos in my life to get me up to speed.
posted by carrioncomfort at 1:16 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

In the 90s

I remember their reporting as being much better then. For example, in 1990, they covered the escalating crisis between Iraq and Kuwait much more than the TV news networks did.
posted by thelonius at 1:16 PM on February 12, 2021

I like this so much. Sweet and well-written.

Reminds me of a brilliant passage in The Complete Plain Words, by Ernest Gowers:

Why do so many writers prefer pudder to simplicity? Officials are far from being the only offenders. It seems to be a morbid condition contracted in early manhood. Children show no signs of it. Here, for example, is the response of a child of ten to an invitation to write an essay on a bird and a beast:

"The bird that I am going to write about is the owl. The owl cannot see at all by day and at night is as blind as a bat.

I do not know much about the owl, so I will go on to the beast which I am going to choose. It is the cow. The cow is a mammal. It has six sides—right, left, an upper and below. At the back it has a tail on which hangs a brush. With this it sends the flies away so that they do not fall into the milk. The head is for the purpose of growing horns and so that the mouth can be somewhere. The horns are to butt with, and the mouth is to moo with. Under the cow hangs the milk. It is arranged for milking. When people milk, the milk comes and there is never an end to the supply. How the cow does it I have not yet realised, but it makes more and more. The cow has a fine sense of smell; one can smell it far away. This is the reason for the fresh air in the country.

The man cow is called an ox. It is not a mammal. The cow does not eat much, but what it eats it eats twice, so that it gets enough. When it is hungry it moos, and when it says nothing it is because its inside is all full up with grass."

The writer had something to say and said it as clearly as he could, and so has unconsciously achieved style. But why do we write when we are ten, “so that the mouth can be somewhere” and perhaps when we are thirty “in order to ensure that the mouth may be appropriately positioned environmentally”?

Back when I taught first-year composition, I made a weekly "newsletter" for students. (What a union of leisure and industry and ambition!) This was always included in one of the early editions, and the students loved it. Reading it aloud in class was a delight.
posted by Caxton1476 at 1:31 PM on February 12, 2021 [9 favorites]

the original superfantastic Don Voegli theme tune

Or as I thought at the time, March Of The EEE-Lectronic Calculators by, I assumed, Vic 'Green Acres' Mizzy.

Press the Meat

Here ya go Greg_Ace, McStruded (I'm pressin' it!)

(End derail)
posted by zaixfeep at 1:41 PM on February 12, 2021 [1 favorite]

When my now 18yr old son was around 6 or 8 years old he made a similar observation. Driving home one evening he chimed in from the back seat of the car, "They don't ever talk about exploding things in microwaves on this show, so it really isn't ALL Things Considered, is it?"
posted by AJScease at 1:42 PM on February 12, 2021 [11 favorites]

Poor Leo. When I was a kid trapped in the car with my mom, her listening choices leaned Lite-FM (or, for weather and traffic updates, 1010 WINS).
posted by Iris Gambol at 1:44 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

Nobody tell Leo about 'All You Can Eat' buffets. We still haven't heard from Dilbert's dad after all these years.
posted by zaixfeep at 1:47 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

I prefer the One America News knock-off, All Unconscionable Things Considered
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:04 PM on February 12, 2021 [3 favorites]

I once heard it said that The Age of the Dinosaurs is six years old. Maybe seven? In this case, eight.
posted by Rash at 3:00 PM on February 12, 2021

(Sung to the show's theme tune)

All Things Considered
All Things Considered
All Things Considered
Well, Al-most!

With those syllables, all I can hear this the tune for "Guantanamera".
posted by ishmael at 3:08 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

Anyone else have to look up concavenator?

Yes! 3m long carnivore, diet believed to include mammals. I choose to believe, contrary to fact, that it is so named because after it takes a bite you will then be concave.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:17 PM on February 12, 2021 [9 favorites]

“Behold the Concavenator!”
posted by Huffy Puffy at 4:03 PM on February 12, 2021 [4 favorites]

Perhaps "All Things Considered" could change its name to "At the End of the Day," or "In the Final Analysis," or maybe, "All Other Things Being Equal."
posted by Mister Moofoo at 5:20 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

"Some Things Considered" doesn't have quite the same impact...
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:58 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

A Few Things Considered.
posted by loquacious at 7:26 PM on February 12, 2021

A Considerable Number of Things
posted by clew at 7:29 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

It's so funny. I'm a gigantic dinosaur fan, and I listened to this as it aired. Within five minutes four different friends sent me the link.
posted by brundlefly at 7:33 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: so that the mouth can be somewhere
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:06 PM on February 12, 2021 [2 favorites]

NPR used to be interesting and relevant. In the past 6 years or so their coverage has moved from having reportage and programming covering news/arts/music/information which was factual with true listening appeal to covering sub-group culture and stridency over matters which do not warrant the attention of their core listeners. One example being charter schools where the amount of coverage truly was over-the-top. The stridency aspect is where there is reportage of something which typically begins with a statement including the subject matter like [random subject here]: "Cheese, and why we should be worried about it/why it is a problem/what should we do about it". All well and good if you are a cheese eater. If you see my point here, people should not be TOLD there is a problem (if any), they should be able to listen and then choose how they view the subject matter. Creative thinking and opinions are a dying aspect of peoples mindsets.

While no news outlet is able to cover everything, young Leo has a point. The reportage and programming has to be relevant to a broad spectrum of people and not simply niche interest groups who are told the subject needs to be worried about.

Once you start listening for this you will see what I mean. Mrs. Underpants and I used to make regular donations and listened all of the time. Despite revisits to NPR they seem to have lost direction. Sad really.
posted by IndelibleUnderpants at 6:20 AM on February 13, 2021 [1 favorite]

Why do so many writers prefer pudder to simplicity?

"If you don't eat your meat, how can you have any pudder?" That is what one fellow at my old school used to always scream at us. We had no idea what he was talking about, and figured that he was just another one of the insane relatives of the headmaster who worked there. I guess he was actually on us about our essays! Man, I'm glad to be out of that place.
posted by thelonius at 9:57 AM on February 13, 2021 [2 favorites]