The pinnacle of canine design
March 14, 2021 6:21 AM   Subscribe

How do people live without dachshunds? If you don’t have a dachshund in your life, you could always stream the Disney classic ’The Ugly Dachshund,’ with Dean Jones and Suzanne Pleshette, and (presumably) a bunch of cute dachshunds. Or, study up your US Presidential history, and thrill to the factoid that Grover Cleveland had three dachshunds - one of which was described by the Chicago Daily Tribune as ’A bow-legged, squat-figured dachshund, with long flapping ears!’ Politics not your thing? Well, a Spanish fella named Pablo Picasso achieved international fame through his dachshund companion! Likewise, Pittsburgh man Andy Warhol achieved notoriety through his two dachshunds, Archie and Amos. Some people in Munich had a little sporting event in 1972 and were worried no one would come. The solution - invent a mascot for the event, and make it a dachshund! Would you like to be notified of mail in your mailbox by anxious yapping? Consider a dachshund.
posted by Tchozz (24 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
I can't answer this question as I've had at least one dachshund (or dachshund mix) in my life the 1980s.

Teddy - dachshund / Jack Russel mix
posted by COD at 6:50 AM on March 14, 2021 [10 favorites]


I grew up with a dachsie named Matilda whom I absolutely adored. We were best pals and confidants. Smart as a whip, she aced Obedience Class and would eagerly run through a vast repertoire of tricks.

She lived to be 20–but the last years of her life were marred by growing weakness in her rear legs that eventually paralyzed her. As they are bred for length, spinal problems are a not-uncommon weakness for dachshunds and watching it happen broke my heart.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:46 AM on March 14, 2021 [4 favorites]


Quality longdogs.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:46 AM on March 14, 2021 [1 favorite]


When I was a kid (say 6-7-8), our elderly next door neighbors had a pair of dachshunds who I loved and who loved me (we ourselves just had a crazy poodle). "Our" game was for me to come over to their fenced yard when the dogs were out, lie down, and the dogs would rush onto me wiggling and licking my face all over. Grossed my mother out completely, but it was great fun.

AS kinnakeet says, the long dogs like dachshunds and corgis (my parents eventually got a corgi, post poodle) are unfortunately subject to to back/spine problems.
posted by gudrun at 8:04 AM on March 14, 2021 [3 favorites]


One of the bright spots of the past year has been getting to know the small, food-loving dachshund that lives below me. I accidentally dropped a little piece of toast once, and she lives in hope that I will do it again.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:21 AM on March 14, 2021 [6 favorites]


I had some friends who had a dachsund, then two dachsunds, and last I was there two dachsunds plus two rescues they were fostering. They were SO LOUD when I got to the door I had to mentally brace myself. They swarmed around my feet like a school of minnows.

But also so adorable. If I was on the couch one would come over for some skritches, then others would notice and start trying to find a spot where they could get some human attention too.
posted by mark k at 8:39 AM on March 14, 2021 [4 favorites]


Wiener dog races! This is a sweet, fun event (since moved to a grassy area, with riser seating), plus the dogs get to walk around the festival all day!
posted by MonkeyToes at 8:56 AM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


Pittsburgh man. Brilliant.
posted by goatdog at 9:33 AM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


It needs to be mentioned here that wiener dog puppies are exceptionally cute. Above and beyond normal puppy cute, even.
posted by billjings at 9:42 AM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


This post is heaven. Thanks, Tchozz!

If any of you weiner dog fans are ever in Buffalo, make sure to visit the Albright-Knox Art Gallery to see Dynamism of a Dog on a Leash. It is delightful.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 10:02 AM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


As I understand it from second-hand accounts, the Ugly Dachshund is about a Great Dane puppy raised with a litter of dachshunds and people can’t understand why this one dachshund is so big.
posted by Going To Maine at 10:07 AM on March 14, 2021 [1 favorite]


Doxie Derby at UC Davis.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:59 AM on March 14, 2021 [1 favorite]


"Brave to the point of rashness" is one way of putting it. My mom grew up with a dachshund and that guy was fucking fearless. He got in fights with cats on the regular. He jumped out of a moving car in pursuit of one, and once killed my mom's classmate's beloved pet cat. I think dachshunds are so cool and so cute but I don't think I have the fortitude to get one myself. I love that they so clearly don't know how cute and funny-looking they are and just conduct themselves in the world as if they were dobermans and everyone knew it. Would that we all could be so blissfully unaware of the limitations our physical manifestation imposes on our behavioral possibilities, you know?
posted by potrzebie at 12:36 PM on March 14, 2021 [1 favorite]




I grew up in a house of five dachshunds.

Five.

Dachshunds.

All I can say is, the only way this thread could possibly emulate the Dachsie Experience would be if every single comment consisted of loud, incessant barking.

I once read an article by someone who should’ve known better, asserting that dachshunds make excellent guard dogs, since they bark so loudly. He’d clearly never lived with one. They bark all the time. You get used to it. If one barked at a burglar in the middle of the night, you’d just roll over in bed and grumble at him to STFU.
posted by panglos at 2:43 PM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


A little bit after Anthony Bourdain passed, there was a GQ piece where his family and friends all shared stories - and one that still makes me smile is from food writer Paula Froelich, who had a pet dachshund that Tony apparently was obsessed with it and would love to take it for walks. She said it cracked her up because Tony was so tall and skinny, leading around this long short little dog - they looked like a walking letter "L".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:35 PM on March 14, 2021 [3 favorites]


Dorgi
posted by Ideefixe at 5:37 PM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


Krakow holds an utterly magical, annual dachshund parade.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:56 PM on March 14, 2021 [2 favorites]




flagged as dachsing
posted by Huffy Puffy at 7:37 AM on March 15, 2021


It pleases me to report that New York City's Dachshund Friendship Club is having its "Dachshund Spring Fiesta" in actual real reality this spring, on April 25th. They usually have two mini-conventions each year - one in spring, one in fall - which is just really an excuse for dachshund owners to all come and hang out at Washington Square Park. At an appointed time they all sing "The Dachs Song":
Doxie, My Doxie,
The best canine under the sun,
Call you weiner or sausage or hot dog,
We know that you're number one!
A park full of dachshunds all hanging around and checking each other out is fantastic for photo ops, I tell you what.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:08 AM on March 15, 2021


The dachshund we had when I was a kid used to root through the garden looking for earthworms, and would slurp them down like horrifying noodles when he found them.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 12:22 PM on March 15, 2021 [2 favorites]


I guess now is the time to tell my Dachshund 'tails'... I grew up with a Dachshund, Maggie. My maternal grandparents and aunt and uncle also had Dachshunds, so they were my first dogs. Later we had a Border Collie and a Beagle at different points, but I 'imprinted' on the Dachshund, basically.

Skip forward some 30 years and my child asked for a dog. We had a cat at the time, but the child was old enough that we felt like they wouldn't be too grabby with a dog, and so we rescued a Dachshund from a local breed-specific rescue. Daisy is the Dachshund's name, but we call here 'Weenie' mostly, along with 'Weiner' and, lately, 'Cheese Log.'

Two Summers ago, my mother had to move to assisted living. She would only agree to do that if I took her dog, which she had gotten after my father passed away. So, to add to our 12 pound Dachshund, we added an 80 pound German Shepherd. And as others have mentioned, Dachshunds do not understand their size at all. Whenever she felt the German Shepherd stepped one claw out of line, she lunged and snapped at his face! I had visions of the Shepherd picking her up in his massive jaws, but he usually jumped backward and looked cowed.

Thankfully, with the help of a trainer, we got the Dachshund to understand that my spouse and I are the lead dogs and that she did not need to manage the Shepherd. Now she tries the opposite tack and tries to sneak up and lay on him. Our Shepherd is super friendly (the vet has remarked it's the friendliest Shepherd she's ever handled), but he doesn't like cuddling much. So, he usually looks worried for a few minutes, then gets up and moves a few feet over.

Our Dachshund is big on belling (I loved your video Glenn Grothman!), but doesn't dig at all, which is apparently rare. Weenie will only go on a walk if she can follow the Shepherd - if he's not going, she's not walking. About two hours before dinner, she starts what we call 'shivercizing' - she shakes and shivers in anticipation of food! If she can get on your chest, she tries to steal a lick on your mouth. Her facial expressions are endlessly fascinating - to me, Dachshunds always look like they're thinking or reacting; they're never dull.

I am so glad I returned to Dachshunds after a 30 year gap!

Thank you to everyone for adding your Dachshund pictures, stories and links. I actually work with a couple from Poland and have met their 'Jamnik' 'Speckle.' But I didn't know about the Polski Fiat 125p Jamnik, which is mentioned in palmcorder_yajna's article. Another childhood memory is my Dad's love of old cars, so I feel like looking into how much it would take to import one to the US!
posted by Tchozz at 2:43 PM on March 15, 2021 [1 favorite]


I love the Munich mascot toy. I would buy one today, if available. I have a tote bag I bought in Vienna (Wein) because it reminded me of my good boy Remy that says Weiner Dog, with a picture of a dachshund.

Here's my dachshund/whatever (chihuahua probs) mix, Remy, showing off his ear extension powers.
posted by See you tomorrow, saguaro at 11:03 AM on March 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


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