EXT. THE OCEAN - DAY. WE OPEN on a man on a motorboat

March 20, 2021 9:15 PM

@SortaBad: no matter what you think is gonna happen in this video, you’re wrong
posted by Going To Maine (29 comments total)

I beg to differ. That was, in fact, exactly what I expected when the video started.
posted by ChrisR at 9:34 PM on March 20, 2021 [4 favorites]

I sort of feared a shark leaping out of the water, so this was much more delightful.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 9:57 PM on March 20, 2021 [4 favorites]

Just your normal 600lb wild animal, looks friendly
posted by benzenedream at 10:00 PM on March 20, 2021 [3 favorites]

We need a bigger bait.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:49 PM on March 20, 2021 [7 favorites]

HELLO I AM ASKING FOR DE BAIT
IM JUST ASKING QUESTIONS HERE
I AM BEING PERFECTLY CIVIL
posted by The otter lady at 10:53 PM on March 20, 2021 [98 favorites]

..and next time, bring more fuckin' fish!
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 10:58 PM on March 20, 2021

Pancho is a celebrity sea lion and notorious sneak thief. He once snatched a tournament trophy fish valued at $9000.
posted by theory at 12:29 AM on March 21, 2021 [24 favorites]

Hero.
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:15 AM on March 21, 2021 [5 favorites]

Mototboaters:
1. Fucked around
2. ??????
3. Found out
posted by bartleby at 1:25 AM on March 21, 2021 [8 favorites]

I didn't expect it, but I'm not surprised, back in the '80s we used to have seals and dolphins come beg fish on a regular basis, and this wasn't in an exactly heavily trafficked piece of the ocean (a couple of hundred km North of Perth, during the off-season when you'd often not see another recreational craft all day). The dolphins, particularly, would not take our word, and would tail-stand and arch their backs to look into the tinnie in case we were holding out. We were a bit far north for sealions, but I'm sure they'd have been in on the game otherwise.
One one particularly memorable occasion, we threw a piece of quite old and somewhat smelly blue mackerel we had been planning on using as crayfish bait to a dolphin, who spat it out, went away, and returned a few minutes later with a tommy ruff (Arripis sp., locals call them herrings, but they aren't) which it dropped in the boat as if to say, 'no, this is fish'.
posted by memetoclast at 1:28 AM on March 21, 2021 [97 favorites]

Fig.1: Adaptation
posted by Thorzdad at 5:51 AM on March 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

I must say that of all the possible scenarios covered by “wild animal uses occupied human vehicle as self-serve buffet,” this is the most adorable.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:07 AM on March 21, 2021 [17 favorites]

I’m curious where that boat’s propeller is.
posted by notyou at 7:23 AM on March 21, 2021 [12 favorites]

which it dropped in the boat as if to say, 'no, this is fish'

Those poor humans, they must be starving if they are eating this garbage!
posted by Meatbomb at 7:45 AM on March 21, 2021 [5 favorites]

To head off this potential deadgoat, I will assume the boat uses jet drive propulsion and thus there is no propeller. There is an impeller completely enclosed in a pump housing, inside the hull of the boat.
posted by glonous keming at 7:52 AM on March 21, 2021 [16 favorites]

That seal has such great whiskers.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 8:28 AM on March 21, 2021 [7 favorites]

I love the way the couple of pelicans at the end go 'nuts to this' and dejectedly drop into the water.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 8:36 AM on March 21, 2021 [4 favorites]

i LOVE animals that are basards, and this buddy is a total basard. Good for him! Smart boy.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:49 AM on March 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

Sealion getting a fish or two is fun; sealion getting impatient and plunging head into bait tank to get ALL the fish is best.
posted by winesong at 8:51 AM on March 21, 2021 [16 favorites]

that's my dog basically. She only weighs twenty-five pounds and generally presents as calm, perhaps a little demure ... until she figures out where the food is stashed at which point her inner sea lion emerges.
posted by philip-random at 9:10 AM on March 21, 2021 [9 favorites]

OK I'll be that guy. Is this such a good idea? Don't wild animals become dependent on humans, rather than work on their own instincts of hunting and all that? It's cute and all - like it's cute when I feed a squirrel out of my hand at the Grand Canyon, but in both cases, I don't think we should celebrate it.

Sorry again to be that guy.
posted by alex_skazat at 9:51 AM on March 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

I think if an animal is smart enough to figure out how to get all the fish like this, they are likely smart enough to hunt well.

This is an exceptional sealion. We should be thankful it is content with this level of thievery.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 10:04 AM on March 21, 2021 [17 favorites]

true, if they ever get organized, we're in trouble
posted by philip-random at 10:16 AM on March 21, 2021 [4 favorites]

This is the sort of sealioning of which I wholeheartedly approve.
posted by AdamCSnider at 10:38 AM on March 21, 2021 [10 favorites]

What's also really impressive is how fast that sealion was swimming!

That boat's going pretty fast - I'd guess 15 knots at least, maybe more. And the sealion shows up right in its wake, where he's got to be swimming even harder to keep up because he's right in the wash from the jet drive. And not only does he match its speed, he then keeps that speed up while hauling his whole 700lb weight out of the water with his front flippers.

Dependent on humans my ass. He put in a serious workout for that fish.
posted by automatronic at 11:43 AM on March 21, 2021 [16 favorites]

Give a pelican a fish and you feed him for a day and also you accidentally teach a man to fish sea lions
posted by oulipian at 11:49 AM on March 21, 2021 [13 favorites]

And not only does he match its speed, he then keeps that speed up while hauling his whole 700lb weight out of the water with his front flippers.

What if they have worked out how to boost each other up and this is a rotating set of sealions?

I am going to spend a lot of time thinking about the possibilities here.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 1:57 PM on March 21, 2021 [4 favorites]

Give a pelican a fish and you feed him for a day and also you accidentally teach a man to fish sea lions a sea lion for a day.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:01 PM on March 21, 2021 [2 favorites]

I was totally expecting a shark to show up, although the guy isn't as grumpy as Roy Scheider.
posted by rmd1023 at 3:07 PM on March 22, 2021