The 32 Greatest Character Actors Working Today

March 23, 2021 5:44 AM

We asked critics and Hollywood creators: Which supporting players make everything better? [Vulture]
posted by ellieBOA (71 comments total)

YAY COLMAN DOMINGO!!! He has been having a great run and I couldn't be more delighted.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:55 AM on March 23, 2021 [3 favorites]

Love him!!
posted by ellieBOA at 5:56 AM on March 23, 2021

I am such a fan of Jennifer Coolidge. I see her face and just start giggling uncontrollably. From an interview with her:

“People think I have a lot of problems which is true. People come up and instantly share their problems with me because they think I have them too and it’s an open field for relating. I think it has to do with the people I’ve played. Most of the people I play are a little bit flawed – they have problems. People will sit next to me on a plane and tell me about very personal gynecological things – instantly. I should explore what that means. I hear all the things people don’t normally want to share. People definitely don’t think I’m slick, that’s for sure. Whatever they say to Scarlett Johansson, they’re not going to say to me. But I don’t mind, I listen to it all.”
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 6:05 AM on March 23, 2021 [14 favorites]

Stephen Root is both the swingline stapler guy and Jimmie James. My mind is goddamn blown.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:15 AM on March 23, 2021 [16 favorites]

No write-up of Judy Greer is complete without some mention of her voice work, especially as Cheryl Tunt in Archer.

Also, it kind of stunning that so many of these talents weren't disqualified by at least one of the filters used in compiling the list.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:16 AM on March 23, 2021 [17 favorites]

Also, it kind of stunning that so many of these talents weren't disqualified by at least one of the filters used in compiling the list.

I'm telling myself that "oh, that's the silver lining behind Michael Stuhlbarg not getting an Oscar nomination for Call Me By Your Name." That show-stopping speech of his they mention is what broke me to pieces the first time I saw that film and it is one of the reasons I glomp onto it.

I was surprised Colman's run as Victor Strand on Fear The Waking Dead doesn't count as "works mostly as a lead" because he's kinda taken that whole show over. But maybe it's the "mostly" bit because dude has a lot going on.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:25 AM on March 23, 2021

Also, it kind of stunning that so many of these talents weren't disqualified by at least one of the filters used in compiling the list.

Right? I'm on the verge of assigning myself the homework of checking. "Stephen Root? Stephen Tobolowsky? Come on."
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:27 AM on March 23, 2021 [6 favorites]

Since 2010 I've been keeping a database of the movies I see. In a set of about 800 films, the actor who shows up the second most--right after Sam Jackson--is a fellow named Diezel Ramos. If you look at his IMDb page, he tends to appear in a certain type of movie in a certain type of role. In other words, he's kind of typecast as a big, "urban," gangbanger/cop/soldier. Luckily for him his look has been in demand, at least in the past ten years or so. Perhaps unluckily for him, most of his roles appear to have been uncredited. That may be why he doesn't have more recognition in the general movie-going public.

Jennifer Coolidge

She is always going to be Stifler's mom to me.
posted by fuse theorem at 6:37 AM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

Stephen Root is like a seal of approval that I can trust the movie.
posted by wenestvedt at 6:44 AM on March 23, 2021 [20 favorites]

Very happy to see Jason Mantzoukas there. Or anywhere! Back in the day, he was a great improv teacher at the Magnet in NYC, and I'm happy to see him get a lot of quality work today.
posted by droplet at 6:46 AM on March 23, 2021 [6 favorites]

I recently watched Paris, Texas and now I notice Harry Dean Stanton everywhere. He's only not on this list because he's dead.
posted by oulipian at 6:47 AM on March 23, 2021 [8 favorites]

My favorite Stephen Tobolowsky bit was the holistic healer on Seinfeld.
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:55 AM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

Harry Dean Stanton was one half of Ebert's Stanton/Walsh Rule which stated, “no movie featuring either Harry Dean Stanton or M. Emmet Walsh in a supporting role can be altogether bad.” Quite a few of the people on Vulture's list would probably qualify for a similar rule.
posted by octothorpe at 6:57 AM on March 23, 2021 [21 favorites]

What a great list! I love Beth Grant, Sordid Lives is one of my favorite pieces of media of all time.
posted by FirstMateKate at 7:12 AM on March 23, 2021

CTRL+F "William Fichtner"

what the hell
posted by The Notorious SRD at 7:19 AM on March 23, 2021 [12 favorites]

Stephen Root is both the swingline stapler guy and Jimmie James. My mind is goddamn blown.

He’s also been a Klingon starship captain, (movie) Buffy’s high school principal and not a few flustered mid-range authority figures (federal agents and the like). It’s a memorable moment when you suddenly realize that about seven or eight notable minor characters you remember from vastly disparate properties were all portrayed by the same actor.

A lot of the other people here are quite recognizable: Tobolowsky or Guzman, say, are both basically instantly spotted. Root is a chameleon.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:38 AM on March 23, 2021 [6 favorites]

Big Lance Reddick fan. Wide range from comedy to the Concierge in John Wick movies. The Wire too.
posted by AugustWest at 7:41 AM on March 23, 2021 [5 favorites]

I'm a bit disappointed that when they talk about Luis Guzman, they don't include his guest spot on Community.

Come on, he's Greendale's Greatest Alumnus!
posted by Katemonkey at 7:43 AM on March 23, 2021 [17 favorites]

Oh I love this list. Count me as another one who happy-sighed to see Steven Root on the list (and if you haven't seen NewsRadio, it's still so good). Luis Guzman and Beth Grant are always amazing - I'm amazed neither have ever risen to a leading role career.

Also if you have the time, Stephen Tobolowsky's Tobolowsky Files podcast is really a treat.
posted by Mchelly at 7:47 AM on March 23, 2021 [3 favorites]

The entire Wire alumni?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 7:48 AM on March 23, 2021 [7 favorites]

Tobolowsky has been in so many things that he has a treasure trove of stories about Hollywood. He's been doing a sporadic podcast (99 episodes in a dozen years) called the Tobolowsky Files for a while now.

(DAMMIT: jinx!)
posted by wenestvedt at 7:49 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Bill Camp played Mr Shaibel in 'The Queen's Gambit' and one of the detectives who chases Arthur into the subway train in 'Joker'. Now that's range.
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 8:06 AM on March 23, 2021

Reading this list gave me the opportunity to finally learn some of these folks' names!

For so many of them, I'd see them in something and be like, "Oh, her! I love her work -- she's awesome in everything."

(Yeah, I know I could imdb the film or show or use X-Ray when I'm watching something on Amazon Prime, but I hate breaking away from shows to look up real world facts, even though I know I'll forget to do so when the show or movie ends :-D )
posted by lord_wolf at 8:09 AM on March 23, 2021 [3 favorites]

Katemonkey, same! There was a statue!

And dances_with_sneetches, exactly what I thought!
posted by ellieBOA at 8:20 AM on March 23, 2021

Stephen Root was the high school principal, Gary Murray, in the original Buffy movie. In the show he played the counsellor... also named Gary Murray.

Somewhat hilariously, Stephen Tobolowsky was Principal Flutie in Buffy's unaired original pilot.
posted by oulipian at 8:23 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

The entire Wire alumni?

Along with most of the main characters of Boardwalk Empire, apparently.
posted by sideshow at 8:33 AM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

The 32 Greatest Character Actors Working Today

I've overstayed my welcome at The Vulture this month and don't feel like subscribing, so apologies in advance if this gets covered in the piece.

From my angle, character actor is one of the more misinterpreted phrases out there. What it used to refer to is an actor who pretty much always plays a version of the same part*. There is something about their particular presence that slots in nicely pretty much whenever they show up on screen. Hollywood loves them because they're so dependably who they are. You know what you're getting. Need a small, sort of nebbish guy who absolutely not going to present as a threat to anybody -- Wallace Shawn's your man.

Problem is, a different meaning seems to have evolved over the years, which is more along the lines of actors who are dependably brilliant at playing a variety of different characters. Many of those included in this list are examples. Paul Giamatti, Eli Wallach, Gary Oldman, Philip Seymour Hoffman -- none these actors are known for being dependably anything, beyond excellent. They've mastered their craft and thus disappear into roles. Yes, they may have distinctive traits that deny them bog standard leading man/lady status but who cares? Time and time again, they find a way to put these traits to unique use. They don't repeat themselves.

* it's true that by this former definition, many prominent leads classify as character actors. Clint Eastwood, Sly Stallone, John Wayne (to name a few classics) pretty much always delivered the same character, certainly in their hayday. They understood their careers were built on this familiarity and they tended not to mess with it.

[And sorry for being so male-centric. That Famous Male Character Actors link got me thinking that way.]
posted by philip-random at 8:35 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Stephen Root was the high school principal, Gary Murray, in the original Buffy movie. In the show he played the counsellor... also named Gary Murray.

That is damned peculiar. I have a hard time thinking of other performers who have appeared in different iterations of the same property playing apparently different characters with the same name.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:42 AM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

The way you know this is a great list is that I can't decide which actor to comment on, and I have like five possible comments jostling for space in my head. So I'll just start by saying that Beth Grant's Random Roles interview with the AV Club is an absolute delight.
posted by Ragged Richard at 8:43 AM on March 23, 2021

philip-random and anyone else paywalled out, this is the inclusion criteria that rules out the actors mentioned above:

While any sort of conclusive definition of a character actor is likely impossible to achieve, to produce this list we nevertheless needed to set some firm boundaries. We came up with three rules governing inclusion, which were shared with our survey respondents:

➼ The Jenkins Rule: If a performer has been nominated for an Oscar, that performer is ineligible.

➼ The Dowd-Martindale Rule: If a performer has won a lead or supporting-actor Emmy, that performer is ineligible. (Winners of an Emmy Award for Outstanding Guest Actor are permitted.)

➼ The Hahn Rule: If a performer currently works primarily as a lead, that performer is ineligible.

Also, the performer had to be alive, but we didn’t know who to name that one after. Too many options!
posted by ellieBOA at 8:45 AM on March 23, 2021

I have to agree with philip-random that the correct terminology is probably "supporting actor" rather than "character actor" -- although the latter has come to be used as a synonym of the former.
posted by slkinsey at 8:48 AM on March 23, 2021

➼ The Hahn Rule: If a performer currently works primarily as a lead, that performer is ineligible.

Shouldn't that be the Hahn-Schaal rule?
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 9:25 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Along with most of the main characters of Boardwalk Empire, apparently

And the cast of Carlito’s Way!
posted by dismas at 9:30 AM on March 23, 2021

Walton Goggins in Justified was nothing short of brilliant.
posted by bluefrog at 9:32 AM on March 23, 2021 [11 favorites]

What a great article. Makes me nostalgic for Fametracker and Hey! It's that guy!
posted by Stoof at 9:51 AM on March 23, 2021 [10 favorites]

In Legion season 3, Jason Mantzoukas had a great episode as the Big Bad Wolf (complete with NSFW rap battle against Jermaine Clement)
posted by kokaku at 9:55 AM on March 23, 2021 [4 favorites]

What it used to refer to is an actor who pretty much always plays a version of the same part

My wife and I joke that Jack Nicholson - no matter what role he is cast in - always plays Jack Nicholson.

In contrast, Philip Seymour Hoffman was so good at playing the part that it seems hard to believe that The Big Lebowski's Brandt and The Talented Mr Ripley's Freddie Miles were played by the same person.

Thanks for calling out this difference and the ambiguity of the term.
posted by splitpeasoup at 10:03 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

The Academy better get Tobolowsky an honourary Oscar in the next decade...

I loved this list, too, and admired just how well-cast the John Wick franchise is. It's really the secret sauce of the movies - everyone, from Keanu onwards, is perfectly placed.
posted by Gin and Broadband at 10:08 AM on March 23, 2021

Walton Goggins in Justified was nothing short of brilliant.

Goggins also tore up the scenery in Vice Principals and I'm wondering why it wasn't included. Was that more of a lead role?
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:08 AM on March 23, 2021

character actor is one of the more misinterpreted phrases out there.
the correct terminology is probably "supporting actor" rather than "character actor" -- although the latter has come to be used as a synonym of the former

It is useful to differentiate between these terms.

I can't find it at the moment, but I'm pretty sure I remember Uta Hagen in Respect for Acting (1973) defining a "character actor" as someone who could "disappear" behind a vast array of personae vs. a "celebrity actor" as someone who basically played the same character -- essentially a version of themselves -- in every role (although "celebrity" here does not necessarily mean "famous").

So, these are descriptors that attach themselves to an actor and transcend any particular role.

The Lead/Supporting dichotomy, on the other hand, is about the relative importance of roles in a particular project.

By these definitions, we can see that many people who end up in Leading roles are Celebrity Actors: Robert Downey Jr., Sandra Bullock, Bill Murray, Jack Nicholson... many of them could be Character Actors, but either the demand for their celebrity persona is so great and/or they've gotten lazy, so they stay with what works.

And of course, many great Character Actors end up playing mostly Supporting roles: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Michael Stuhlbarg... And there are some "Celebrity" Actors who also play Supporting roles: The aforementioned Wallace Shawn, for example...

Then there are those few great Character Actors who also end up in Leading roles: Meryl Streep, Christian Bale, Daniel Day Lewis...
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:34 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

My wife and I joke that Jack Nicholson - no matter what role he is cast in - always plays Jack Nicholson.

I heard recently that Will Smith has a person on his staff whose job is to read his scripts and rewrite his dialogue so it better fits the Will Smith brand.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:48 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Is someone expressing nervous, unsettled behavior? A little twitchy, or really freaking out? Is it the 1990s? It might be Leland Orser. An early credit (from Se7en): "Crazed Man In Massage Parlor."

I once called him out as a movie's killer when he appeared in an innocuous early scene; there is no way he is just a mild-mannered home-care nurse! He did get to calm down and appear in all three Taken movies as one of Liam Neeson's ex-military buddies.
posted by JDC8 at 11:13 AM on March 23, 2021 [4 favorites]

I can't find it at the moment, but I'm pretty sure I remember Uta Hagen in Respect for Acting (1973) defining a "character actor" as someone who could "disappear" behind a vast array of personae vs. a "celebrity actor" as someone who basically played the same character -- essentially a version of themselves -- in every role (although "celebrity" here does not necessarily mean "famous").

I think I saw Colman in an interview once self-identify as a character actor for precisely that reason. He's not as interested in the straightforward Leading Part, he's more interested in the weirdos that may only have a few scenes but you're fascinated by "what the hell is up with that guy". The article suggests tracking him down in Passing Strange - that was a Broadway show (Spike Lee filmed the closing performance and you can find that) where he was part of the ensemble, and played three characters - a closeted church organist who was into Maria Callas, a Dutch nudist, and Mr. Venus, a performance artist from West Berlin (if you see nothing else from Passing Strange, watch that). And in the show we worked on years ago, he played a similarly broad range of characters, including Thomas Jefferson (whom he played as an effete fop - he had a way of closing a folding fan that got a laugh all on its own), a Henry Louis Gates-esque professor and a dude whose only function was to wander through about ten different scenes in search of his friend Kim.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:37 AM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

I have this memory thing. Whenever I doubt my memory, I recall Elisha Cook, Jr. A career from The Maltese Falcon to Star Trek! Yeah, he's that guy! He's always that guy!
posted by SPrintF at 1:24 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Judy Greer's book I Don't Know Where You Know Me From is a great read. I like that she's in the Ant-Man movies, but when you have access to her comedic genius and just give her straight lines to say? THAT IS ON YOU.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 1:46 PM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

Really glad to see Benedict Wong on the list, he's always one of the best parts of in anything he's in. There's a mostly forgotten Michael Winterbottom low-budget SF movie, Code 46, from the early 2000s, starring Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton, and Wong has a tiny cameo with about three lines, and it's the most enjoyable thing in the whole film.
posted by Hogshead at 2:06 PM on March 23, 2021

Ctrl-F Margo Martindale.. No Matches Found.

Bah.
posted by Horkus at 2:10 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Horkus: “➼ The Dowd-Martindale Rule: If a performer has won a lead or supporting-actor Emmy, that performer is ineligible. (Winners of an Emmy Award for Outstanding Guest Actor are permitted.)”
posted by sara is disenchanted at 2:34 PM on March 23, 2021 [3 favorites]

Came here to see if anyone mentioned Michael Jeter. No one did, so Michael Jeter.
...
Come on!
posted by es_de_bah at 2:52 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

The Martindale Rule: If a performer becomes a bank robber and is later lost at sea, that performer is ineligible.
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:57 PM on March 23, 2021 [3 favorites]

Stephen McKinley Henderson! The first time he really lodged in my memory was in the TV show New Amsterdam (not the recent one, the "Nikolaj Coster-Waldau is an immortal cop" one). I've been noticing him a lot since, and he's absolutely remarkable in Devs.

So many other great actors on this list. But I'm shocked that Zach Grenier isn't on it. He's fantastic in everything I've seen him in, and boy oh boy was seeing him in Devs a shakeup from what he was like in The Good Wife.
posted by rednikki at 3:50 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Stephen Root was the high school principal, Gary Murray, in the original Buffy movie. In the show he played the counsellor... also named Gary Murray.

Can I ask where you got this information? He seems to have been counsellor Gary Murray in the movie and never appeared in the series.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:01 PM on March 23, 2021

I heard recently that Will Smith has a person on his staff whose job is to read his scripts and rewrite his dialogue so it better fits the Will Smith brand.

If true, this must have happened recently. He was in I, Robot which one imagines would be released as Yo, Robot in Spanish-speaking markets. Tell me "Yo, Robot!" is not dialogue perfectly on brand for Smith.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:05 PM on March 23, 2021

To be fair, Will Smith did promise his mother that he'd never make a whack jam.
posted by Your Childhood Pet Rock at 4:14 PM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

Tobolowsky will always be Werner Brandes from “Sneakers!!”
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 4:50 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Needs more Toby Huss.
posted by hwestiii at 5:49 PM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

To be fair, Will Smith did promise his mother that he'd never make a whack jam.

He had a leading role in Wild Wild West, so mission failed I guess.
posted by mrgoat at 6:26 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

This list should be named in honor of James Hong. Dude's been working as that guy since the 50's.
posted by cmfletcher at 6:49 PM on March 23, 2021 [4 favorites]

One of my favourite things in the world is seeing people do their thing and do it well, so this was lovely to read. Thank you.
posted by forza at 7:45 PM on March 23, 2021 [2 favorites]

There's a mostly forgotten Michael Winterbottom low-budget SF movie, Code 46, from the early 2000s, starring Tim Robbins and Samantha Morton, and Wong has a tiny cameo with about three lines, and it's the most enjoyable thing in the whole film.

I watched it maybe 2005 on DVD and have pretty much totally forgotten it (including Wong's role) but one thing still stands out for me, and it may be me alone: I paused the DVD at one point to get up and get a snack or something. I happened to pause during a closeup of Robbins just after he had delivered a line intended to be charming, maybe? Anyway, through a combination of the light, tight cropping of the frame, a raised eyebrow, and a half-smirk, there was zero doubt that it was Greg Kinnear onscreen. Tragically it was before I had a digital camera and my old CRT TV was not equipped to take a screen shot, but it was uncanny.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:00 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Can I ask where you got this information? He seems to have been counsellor Gary Murray in the movie and never appeared in the series.

Ack, you’re right! Sorry, I must have misread something and invented a parallel universe with two Stephen Root Gary Murrays. I wish it was real, just for the trivia question possibilities.
posted by oulipian at 8:56 PM on March 23, 2021

Great list! My additions would be:
-Bobby Cannavale (though my fondness for The Station Agent may override everything else)
-Martin Starr (his deadpan delivery is fantastic)
-Kathryn Hahn
posted by beastelyse at 9:19 PM on March 23, 2021 [1 favorite]

Root was the best part of the From the Earth to the Moon miniseries from the late 90s. He played the legendary, yet difficult, Chris Kraft.
posted by drstrangelove at 3:57 AM on March 24, 2021

Tell me "Yo, Robot!" is not dialogue perfectly on brand for Smith.

Also the title of an Urban take on OK Computer
posted by Grangousier at 4:36 AM on March 24, 2021 [1 favorite]

Tell me "Yo, Robot!" is not dialogue perfectly on brand for Smith.

Well, now I'm picturing a Will Smith-themed reboot of the lesser transforming robots series from the 1980s. Which would be called Yobots.
posted by The Outsider at 4:55 AM on March 24, 2021 [2 favorites]

Stephen Tobolowsky has spoken at EG, the conference that my brother used to run. Here he is in 2011.
posted by plinth at 8:58 AM on March 24, 2021

I saw Tobolowsky on stage doing a one-man show, and one of the things he said he heard from an acting teacher was that while leads have the entire movie/show/play/whatever to express all the things about their characters, when you're doing a small role, you have to try and get that all across as efficiently as possible. (I may be paraphrasing this a bit inaccurately?)
posted by rmd1023 at 11:34 AM on March 24, 2021

I read something years so that defined “movie star” in the way that “celebrity actor” is used here — they don’t play a character, they play themselves (or their cinematic avatar) every time, just in differently settings.

And I remember this perfectly describing Will Smith in I Robot — for all the back story and taking liberties with the corpse of Isaac Asimov, the basic thrust of the movie was, “hey, what if this character was Will Smith?”

Needless to say, this perspective enormously increases my appreciation of character actors, whose genius I’d characterize as the ability to use their real-world persona (whether looks, personality, reputation, etc) to deepen rather than erase the particular character they’re portraying.
posted by bjrubble at 7:48 PM on March 24, 2021 [1 favorite]

I don't really want to get into the trying to categorize actors discussion, I just want to note that I think it's better to not suggest any actors are "playing themselves" onscreen, they are always taking on a persona of some sort or another, even if that persona is entirely consistent from film to film. One of the ways we run into trouble with celebrity worship is in thinking the persona and the person are the same.
posted by gusottertrout at 11:38 PM on March 24, 2021 [2 favorites]

Homecoming On Amazon Prime has both Shea Whigham and Bobby Cannavale doing their respective things perfectly. As good as Julia Robert’s is in the series, Whigham just grabs your attention immediately.

Sissy Spacek is great in the show as well- and in my mind she’s a great character actor. Anything where she appears in a small role is better for it, kinda like the Walsh/Stanton rule.
posted by rock swoon has no past at 11:08 AM on March 25, 2021

Man, Yobots feels like the biggest missed opportunity ever. Could be live-action; but far more likely to be animated.

PILOT: An inner-city team of misfit computer whiz-kids of multi-ethnic backgrounds led by a young, hip former-rapper-who-came-home-to-Give-Back-turned-community-center-leader compete in battlebot style contests with against more privileged opponents and consistently succeed. Cue angry opposition who try to infiltrate and steal their secrets; ultimately they prove a vast criminal conspiracy reaching to NASA levels; they emerge triumphant in the end and eventually get their own show!

SERIES: Every week the YOBOTS crew gets contacted by those in need of their help in the kid-robotics universe; the episode allows them to use their whiz-kid skills to save the day/solve the crime/fix relationships etc. as needed. Very often, the former rapper's friends and colleagues join in to help (so many voice-over role opportunities for musicians, hip-hop and rap artists!!) Most shows feature a song, performance or musical interlude (a la Scooby Doo).

WHY WAS THIS NEVER MADE? It's money in the bank.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 7:25 AM on March 29, 2021