Every Given Every Ywhere

March 29, 2021 10:20 AM

"Why should the Suez Canal have all the fun? From the comfort of home you can get the Ever Given stuck wherever you want it."
posted by CarrotAdventure (25 comments total)

Can I get it stuck in the staircase up to my flat?
posted by deadaluspark at 10:23 AM on March 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

TOO SOON
posted by The Tensor at 10:26 AM on March 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

The good news: The Ever Given will be much shorter after everyone Suez its ass off.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:30 AM on March 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

Would be more useful with a search box.
posted by signal at 10:32 AM on March 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

SIMCOPTER ONE REPORTING HEAVY TRAFFIC
posted by Rhaomi at 10:40 AM on March 29, 2021 [8 favorites]

Be sure to pan the satellite image southeast from Boston to get the ship stuck in the Cape Cod Canal.

As a kid I spent a lot of time in SC2k's terrain editor trying to model the Cape Cod Canal and get the bridges just right. It was slightly easier in SC3k because it sort of had the right-looking bridges.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 10:59 AM on March 29, 2021

that's terrible without search
posted by kokaku at 11:02 AM on March 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

I actually find it fun and educational to navigate this without search, or to search in another maps tab and then find the same place in this by hand.
posted by Songdog at 11:04 AM on March 29, 2021

Also, this is great. My colleagues and I are sharing our inland shipping disaster scenarios.
posted by Songdog at 11:05 AM on March 29, 2021

Uh-oh, looks like opening day won't be happening in Cincinnati.
posted by cooker girl at 11:09 AM on March 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

RonButNotStupid, here it is to scale beached next to the Bourne Bridge, for you.
posted by Songdog at 11:16 AM on March 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

From the ever reliable minds at Ao3: "XXX-TRA WIDE CARGO STUFFS MAJOR SHIPPING LANE --- DELIVERS HUGE PAYLOAD!!" .
Fandom: Maritime RPF

I realize this is not related to the link, but it's been living in my brain since it was posted and I needed somewhere to put it.
posted by Lawn Beaver at 11:25 AM on March 29, 2021 [1 favorite]

Ah good -- this is where I can drop a comment to note that the first time I heard a newscaster refer to the "Ever Given", I thought they were mistaken. The second time I saw it, on another news broadcast, I thought maybe I was having a mild aphasia. The third time I saw the name, it was a true "Berenstain Bears" moment, in which I was doubting my recollection of reality itself.

I had repeatedly seen the photos of the ship with "EVERGREEN" printed in letters the size of a house on its side. So I was befuddled by the name "Ever Given". Of course, in retrospect, the name of the company is written on the side of the ship. The name of the ship is written in much smaller letters at the bow and stern.

This has been the most recent, glaring example of "I'm sure I'm right" that turned out to be false.
posted by darkstar at 11:28 AM on March 29, 2021 [7 favorites]

When does the Lego set come out?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 11:35 AM on March 29, 2021 [10 favorites]

Eagerly awaiting Chuck Tingle's take on this.

[EDIT] I SPOKE TOO LATE
posted by JohnFromGR at 12:11 PM on March 29, 2021 [9 favorites]

Huh sadly I can't get this to work. It just says waking up and a there's a bunch of dots that follow the cursor.
posted by Carillon at 12:36 PM on March 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Meanwhile, in Microsoft Flight Simulator...
posted by May Kasahara at 12:44 PM on March 29, 2021 [3 favorites]

It's not waking up. Do we need Narcan here?
posted by Splunge at 12:49 PM on March 29, 2021

Meanwhile, in Microsoft Flight Simulator...

From that link: "The greatest spectacle of 2021 has been a container ship stuck in the Suez Canal."

I beg to differ. Maybe the best spectacle?
posted by Snowishberlin at 12:55 PM on March 29, 2021

I have said this before, and I'll say it again:

There will always be new forms of art.
posted by AlSweigart at 1:28 PM on March 29, 2021 [2 favorites]

Not really everywhere.

I mean, I want to overlay the Ever Given on the front page of MetaFilter and say "I don't know how these people got this boat stuck in their website, or why."
posted by chavenet at 1:37 PM on March 29, 2021 [4 favorites]

That's a common mistake, darkstar. Evergreen is the company name, the ship is Evergreen's monster.
posted by Fuchsoid at 2:20 PM on March 29, 2021 [19 favorites]

I'm very glad for all the people who were disappointed on the boat being freed that they now have this.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:48 PM on March 29, 2021

Thank you internet for making this and thank you carrot for posting this. I had the day off today and spent a good hour or so shoving the Ever Given all over the place, I shoved it in the Oak Bluffs harbor, I shoved it into Chappy, I tried to shove it under the jaws bridge but it was too big. I even shoved it into the lagoon sorta behind my street! It was awesome. I'm going to have a couple drinks and go shove it around up-island later. So groovy.
posted by vrakatar at 6:23 PM on March 29, 2021

I know intellectually that container ships are freaking enormous, but (virtually) sticking it in my neighbourhood really drives it home.

How big would they be built if they didn't have to contend with canals and existing harbour infrastructure? Is there a point of diminishing returns? I expect once one end rests in China and the other end rests on the US west coast there would be no need to go bigger, but is there a point before that when you would stop?
posted by Harald74 at 11:15 PM on March 29, 2021