The Unshakable Allure of the Celebrity House Tour
March 31, 2021 2:52 AM Subscribe
From ‘Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous’ to ‘Cribs’ to ‘Open Door,’ what’s behind closed gates never loses its appeal. [Vice] Bonus: 40 Things You Totally Forgot Happened on MTV's 'Cribs' [Cosmopolitan]
I think it was William Gibson who pointed out how many of these places look more like airport lounges than homes, mildly idiosyncratic but ultimately transient, liminal spaces you go past and through on your way to somewhere else, and never actually stay. I often wonder if these places are purely for show, in celebrity terms - like the people involved have some small part of the house they don't show or share that's actually their home, and the rest of it is just kept pristinely as is, a holding pen for fame-inflected capital.
posted by mhoye at 5:15 AM on March 31, 2021 [24 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 5:15 AM on March 31, 2021 [24 favorites]
I am reminded of the story in Max Brooks' book World War Z about a celebrity who, in the early days of the zombie plague, elaborately fortified his compound and then invited his friends to ride it out. It failed because the celebrities could not stop broadcasting/streaming/tweeting/whatever about what a good time they were having and how safe they were, and the compound was overrun not by zombies but by desperate people who wanted in on the safe location.
The story is told by an ex-security guard who figured he was paid to shoot zombies, not people, and so abandoned his post, and he speculates that staying famous was more important to the celebrities than survival.
posted by Gelatin at 5:16 AM on March 31, 2021 [18 favorites]
The story is told by an ex-security guard who figured he was paid to shoot zombies, not people, and so abandoned his post, and he speculates that staying famous was more important to the celebrities than survival.
posted by Gelatin at 5:16 AM on March 31, 2021 [18 favorites]
Gelatin, I haven't read that book but it is oddly apropos to what we saw last year from celebrities showing us their wonderful lives in isolation. It seemed tone deaf when so many were either forced to continue working in high-risk occupations or were out of work altogether and unable to pay for necessities.
posted by drstrangelove at 5:23 AM on March 31, 2021 [15 favorites]
posted by drstrangelove at 5:23 AM on March 31, 2021 [15 favorites]
That list does not include the visit to Redman's home in Staten Island, and for that reason it is incomplete. He lived in a very modest, very lived-in, somewhat run-down duplex on a show where celebrities seemed to be competing for who could show the most tasteless and ridiculous home. It's one of the best reality TV episodes of anything and a big fuck-you to the whole conceit of the show.
posted by Anonymous at 5:26 AM on March 31, 2021
posted by Anonymous at 5:26 AM on March 31, 2021
I was obsessed with Cribs, and Redman's episode was a favourite! 2001 episode, followed by a 2004 revisit! The Missy Elliott episode was my all time favourite, also got a revisit.
posted by ellieBOA at 5:37 AM on March 31, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by ellieBOA at 5:37 AM on March 31, 2021 [13 favorites]
drstangelove: Read the book. It's well cool and far superior to the film.
posted by pompomtom at 6:05 AM on March 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by pompomtom at 6:05 AM on March 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
Proof that having money is no guarantee of having good taste.
Just the opposite, I think. If you actually have taste, accumulating money isn't a priority for you. I'm reminded of The Grey Scorpion Faxes from a while ago:
Just the opposite, I think. If you actually have taste, accumulating money isn't a priority for you. I'm reminded of The Grey Scorpion Faxes from a while ago:
I am honoured to be on very good terms with some of the world’s most ruthless plutocrats. They are simple folk with two emotional settings: petulant anger or petulant ennui.posted by mhoye at 6:12 AM on March 31, 2021 [10 favorites]
Call me old-fashioned, but I believe there is a kind of nobility in this shared boredom, this shared rage-filled humanity. The far-from-humble oligarch has much in common with the far-from-humble fascist princeling. The far-from-humble Kyrgystani warlord is as cruel and impatient a patron as the far-from-humble Texan stock wrangler. Extreme wealth is a great leveller.
I seem to recall that one of the features of MTV Cribs was that over the course of the entire run, you never saw a single bookcase filled with books*
*Ok, maybe Moby or someone?
posted by gwint at 6:13 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
*Ok, maybe Moby or someone?
posted by gwint at 6:13 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
Absolutely anyone and everyone who has not seen the Redman episode of Cribs needs to stop what they are doing and devote six minutes to that segment right now. It's so great. By giving a good faith tour of his regular person duplex, he completely dismantles the entire show.
It is fucking magnificent.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:37 AM on March 31, 2021 [10 favorites]
It is fucking magnificent.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:37 AM on March 31, 2021 [10 favorites]
I only ever saw two or three episodes of Cribs, and somehow the Redman episode from 2001 was one of them. The box of petty cash on top of the fridge was the detail that stuck out the most at the time, but now I pause as I go through to get a good look at the records...
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:43 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:43 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
I couldn't watch Cribs because of the editing - too many exciting zooms and flashy cuts and too much camera movement. And I really wanted to watch it because I am TOTALLY nosy when it comes to other peoples' houses. I used to get my fix by watching HGTV, but in the last few years it's seemed like every house looks the same. So now it's Escape to the Country...which is fine, but I want more than just the British Countryside.
Are there any YouTube channels that I'm missing out on? Anything else to scratch my "what do people live like in ____?" itch? Must have interesting houses and boring camerawork.
posted by Gray Duck at 7:34 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
Are there any YouTube channels that I'm missing out on? Anything else to scratch my "what do people live like in ____?" itch? Must have interesting houses and boring camerawork.
posted by Gray Duck at 7:34 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
Did you watch the AD episode linked in the article? Of Dakota Johnson's house? Might actually be my dream house. Apparently there's a whole series of them!
posted by peacheater at 7:42 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by peacheater at 7:42 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
I've always thought someone should make a show that consists of going up to people's doors and offering them a few hundred dollars to be allowed to film a video tour of their home in the next, say, 15 minutes or so. Enough time to hide the bodies, not enough time to redecorate. I like to look at fancy houses that have been cleaned and staged for the show, but I'd love to just see people's regular houses.
There used to be a show called Door Knock Dinners that offered a glimpse of this by going into people's kitchens to make them dinner out of whatever they had on hand, and I cared way less about the dinners and way more about people's kitchen cabinets.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:47 AM on March 31, 2021 [7 favorites]
There used to be a show called Door Knock Dinners that offered a glimpse of this by going into people's kitchens to make them dinner out of whatever they had on hand, and I cared way less about the dinners and way more about people's kitchen cabinets.
posted by jacquilynne at 7:47 AM on March 31, 2021 [7 favorites]
Did you watch the AD episode linked in the article? Of Dakota Johnson's house?
Previously discussed on MeFi.
posted by mstokes650 at 7:51 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
Previously discussed on MeFi.
posted by mstokes650 at 7:51 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
I often wonder if these places are purely for show, in celebrity terms - like the people involved have some small part of the house they don't show or share that's actually their home, and the rest of it is just kept pristinely as is, a holding pen for fame-inflected capital.
Stephen King's house in Bangor, Maine, is a local landmark, but he hasn't lived there in years; he lives near another town entirely, and winters in Florida. He also wrote about how he used to have this huge desk, the kind that he used to dream about when he was young and poor, but that he didn't do much actual writing there and now does most of his writing at a much smaller desk in an attic nook. The big desk room is now a family room.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:33 AM on March 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
Stephen King's house in Bangor, Maine, is a local landmark, but he hasn't lived there in years; he lives near another town entirely, and winters in Florida. He also wrote about how he used to have this huge desk, the kind that he used to dream about when he was young and poor, but that he didn't do much actual writing there and now does most of his writing at a much smaller desk in an attic nook. The big desk room is now a family room.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:33 AM on March 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
Had to go see for myself and well worth it - Redman's Crib.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:48 AM on March 31, 2021 [10 favorites]
posted by Meatbomb at 8:48 AM on March 31, 2021 [10 favorites]
My favorite moment of "Cribs" was Big Boi talking about his son Bamboo's Gucci Baby carriage, because I just have an abiding soft spot for how much Big Boi talked about Bamboo in the "Stankonia" era. That is all.
posted by thivaia at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by thivaia at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
Cribs definitely did the “downmarket crib” tour once in a while to break up the monotony of high priced palaces. I recall a tour with Puck from Real World San Francisco that featured his sweet Ford Taurus as his only car in his car collection.
posted by dr_dank at 9:20 AM on March 31, 2021
posted by dr_dank at 9:20 AM on March 31, 2021
LOL @ Redman's crib!
"Over here, in the left wing of the crib..."
:D
posted by darkstar at 9:48 AM on March 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
"Over here, in the left wing of the crib..."
:D
posted by darkstar at 9:48 AM on March 31, 2021 [2 favorites]
Cribs definitely did the “downmarket crib” tour once in a while to break up the monotony of high priced palaces.
Half of the stills in the Cosmo article look like downmarket examples. The creepy mattress in the middle of the room and the 2 chairs guy - yikes!
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:55 AM on March 31, 2021
Half of the stills in the Cosmo article look like downmarket examples. The creepy mattress in the middle of the room and the 2 chairs guy - yikes!
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:55 AM on March 31, 2021
I seem to recall that one of the features of MTV Cribs was that over the course of the entire run, you never saw a single bookcase filled with books*
I know this sounds elitist but the miles of bookshelves filled with tchotchkes that look like something purchased at TJ Maxx always rankled me. But there was one exception-- a professional basketball player who did have real books on his shelves. For all I know these were decorations but I really hope someone was reading them.
posted by drstrangelove at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2021
I know this sounds elitist but the miles of bookshelves filled with tchotchkes that look like something purchased at TJ Maxx always rankled me. But there was one exception-- a professional basketball player who did have real books on his shelves. For all I know these were decorations but I really hope someone was reading them.
posted by drstrangelove at 10:06 AM on March 31, 2021
Two questions for the Cribs stans..
How much was Redman worth in 2001?
There was once a Cribs ep where someone had a bucket of shoes in the front foyer.. anyone remember who that was so I can rewatch?
posted by some chick at 10:59 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
How much was Redman worth in 2001?
There was once a Cribs ep where someone had a bucket of shoes in the front foyer.. anyone remember who that was so I can rewatch?
posted by some chick at 10:59 AM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
I enjoy the Architectural Digest house tours video. Interestingly, I only like the houses of the celebrities I like or at least aren't repelled by.
I can't find it but MTV Canada had Canadian Cribs which was basically just people with houses. Trish Stratus probably had the most expensive house. To quote Steve Martin in 30 Rock, "They can't seem to get anything right up there, can they?"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2021
I can't find it but MTV Canada had Canadian Cribs which was basically just people with houses. Trish Stratus probably had the most expensive house. To quote Steve Martin in 30 Rock, "They can't seem to get anything right up there, can they?"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2021
Came to see if anybody else thought Redman's crib was the best part of that show, was not disappointed.
I always liked the dirty socks on the floor, now that's keeping it real!
posted by SystematicAbuse at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2021
I always liked the dirty socks on the floor, now that's keeping it real!
posted by SystematicAbuse at 11:15 AM on March 31, 2021
The reason Redman's house isn't on a list of "40 Things You Totally Forgot Happened" is nobody will ever forget it.
Youtube is trying to get in on a similar sort of thing. I noted here in one of my comments a bunch of tours of "gaming houses."
And the Glass Mansion toured by BigBankz has the angle that he seems to be hired by the realtors to make videos. Which may fit the part the article mentioned about doing these shows shortly before putting the house on the market, minus the celebrity angle, because BigBankz doesn't show us anything about the existing owners.
posted by RobotHero at 11:18 AM on March 31, 2021
Youtube is trying to get in on a similar sort of thing. I noted here in one of my comments a bunch of tours of "gaming houses."
And the Glass Mansion toured by BigBankz has the angle that he seems to be hired by the realtors to make videos. Which may fit the part the article mentioned about doing these shows shortly before putting the house on the market, minus the celebrity angle, because BigBankz doesn't show us anything about the existing owners.
posted by RobotHero at 11:18 AM on March 31, 2021
Redman: MTV wanted me to rent a house for Cribs (like some other stars did)
posted by JoeZydeco at 12:05 PM on March 31, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 12:05 PM on March 31, 2021 [4 favorites]
I cannot recall a single episode of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, though I must have watched it, but that voice is etched in my head 30 years later.
Champagne wishes and caviar dreams.
posted by madajb at 12:45 PM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
Champagne wishes and caviar dreams.
posted by madajb at 12:45 PM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
I often wonder if these places are purely for show, in celebrity terms - like the people involved have some small part of the house they don't show or share that's actually their home, and the rest of it is just kept pristinely as is, a holding pen for fame-inflected capital.
I feel like if, God forbid, I was famous enough to have people obsess over my house, I would absolutely have a "decoy house" that I publicize and throw parties and generally make known everywhere and then an "actual house" hidden behind 3 corporations and a shell buyer where I really live.
posted by madajb at 12:51 PM on March 31, 2021 [6 favorites]
I feel like if, God forbid, I was famous enough to have people obsess over my house, I would absolutely have a "decoy house" that I publicize and throw parties and generally make known everywhere and then an "actual house" hidden behind 3 corporations and a shell buyer where I really live.
posted by madajb at 12:51 PM on March 31, 2021 [6 favorites]
I love that idea, madajb!
And maybe a secret tunnel connecting the two...
posted by darkstar at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2021
And maybe a secret tunnel connecting the two...
posted by darkstar at 1:09 PM on March 31, 2021
Say what you want about character actor Seann William Scott, but his 2000 Cribs episode (Facebook Video) is the epitome of entry-level L.A. actor party apartment. If it's a prank, the attention to detail is masterful (broken closet doors, significant CD/VHS tape collection, cracked parquet flooring, dirty laundry behind furniture, etc.)
posted by JDC8 at 1:56 PM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by JDC8 at 1:56 PM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]
I remember the Seann William Scott one! I didn't see the redman one when it aired, but I remember that one for the prominent feature of the roommate, the broken door, the bare fridge, and the general sense of pleasant mild squalor that was showcased. I'm sure 20% of that tour was fabricated for comedy sake, but which 20% I'm not entirely sure.
posted by Philipschall at 2:25 PM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Philipschall at 2:25 PM on March 31, 2021 [1 favorite]
That Redman was was great, but I'm not sure how it dismantled the show. I'm not super familiar with it I guess, but it seemed more of a goof than a destruction?
posted by Carillon at 9:04 PM on March 31, 2021
posted by Carillon at 9:04 PM on March 31, 2021
That Redman was was great, but I'm not sure how it dismantled the show.
I think it's kind of funny they invite cameras in with their houses in such sorry shape even though he and Sean William Scott could both afford at least decent furniture and professional cleaners. Coupled against the cleaning thread and how gendered it is, I think it doesn't dismantle anything but rather plays to stereotypes that bachelors get to live however and clean, put together houses are 'just for show'. I find it fascinating.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:31 AM on April 1, 2021
I think it's kind of funny they invite cameras in with their houses in such sorry shape even though he and Sean William Scott could both afford at least decent furniture and professional cleaners. Coupled against the cleaning thread and how gendered it is, I think it doesn't dismantle anything but rather plays to stereotypes that bachelors get to live however and clean, put together houses are 'just for show'. I find it fascinating.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:31 AM on April 1, 2021
I think the appeal of the Redman and Seann William Scott episodes is pulling away the curtain. Cribs did so much to promote the idea that as soon as you get a hit single, a hit show, a role in a hit film, etc. you get a mansion and a sports car, and gold-plated everything.
And those two were like, nah, we still have roommates and broken shit. There's no money fountain that gets turned on.
The Redman episode in particular should be paired with that famous article breaking down A Tribe Called Quest's actual income from one of their "hit" records (something like 80k each). I can't find the link on that, but it was an eye opener.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:21 AM on April 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
And those two were like, nah, we still have roommates and broken shit. There's no money fountain that gets turned on.
The Redman episode in particular should be paired with that famous article breaking down A Tribe Called Quest's actual income from one of their "hit" records (something like 80k each). I can't find the link on that, but it was an eye opener.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:21 AM on April 1, 2021 [1 favorite]
I really enjoy the companion sport of Zillow-surfing, but it always reminds me how much of capitalist culture is about “I was totally happy till I saw this thing someone else has and now I’m not happy and must work harder or play the lottery.” I mean I would love a big wood-paneled library, but that ain’t happening.
posted by freecellwizard at 8:54 AM on April 1, 2021
posted by freecellwizard at 8:54 AM on April 1, 2021
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The second was an episode of Cribs. I can't remember who the owner was but he had spent over 3 million on his master bedroom and it was appallingly ugly. Not until I saw the interior of the Orange Game Show Host's penthouse apartment had I ever seen such a display of gaudiness. Proof that having money is no guarantee of having good taste.
posted by drstrangelove at 5:15 AM on March 31, 2021 [3 favorites]