Daycare worker, waitress, mountain guide, paramedic
April 27, 2021 7:46 AM Subscribe
A few short fantasy stories about serving other people during times of death and peril. A daycare worker at the end of the world, and a restaurant server at a different end. A mountain guide who always finds what is lost. And the funniest one: a necromancer who doesn't realize they're a necromancer, and thinks they're just a really good paramedic.
Read the necromancer one, because you pretty much have to. Nice quick read, thanks!
posted by skewed at 8:21 AM on April 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by skewed at 8:21 AM on April 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
It's always nice to see Alexandra Erin show up on The Blue.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:45 AM on April 27, 2021
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:45 AM on April 27, 2021
The daycare one does have a happy ending, but it's wrenching to get there. And there is pizza, and so much glitter.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 9:03 AM on April 27, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 9:03 AM on April 27, 2021 [11 favorites]
I’ve often remarked that a necromancer is just a cleric who’s late for work, so I sort of loved that.
posted by mhoye at 9:25 AM on April 27, 2021 [15 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 9:25 AM on April 27, 2021 [15 favorites]
The daycare one is brilliant, absolutely wonderful and I cannot recommend it enough, but I definitely cried. At work. In person work.
posted by Jacen at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by Jacen at 9:29 AM on April 27, 2021 [6 favorites]
a necromancer is just a cleric who’s late for work
Please, a necromancer is a trained professional, while a cleric is just an amateur answering service who has gotten ideas. Clerics can't promise anything, but, aswe they like to say "A necromancer will get the answer!"
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:57 AM on April 27, 2021 [9 favorites]
Please, a necromancer is a trained professional, while a cleric is just an amateur answering service who has gotten ideas. Clerics can't promise anything, but, as
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:57 AM on April 27, 2021 [9 favorites]
I hope the necromancer one is now the opening to a novel.
posted by RakDaddy at 9:58 AM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by RakDaddy at 9:58 AM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Au contraire, a cleric has the force of a serious corporation behind them (in modern terms) and a necromancer is just a guy on the street corner peddling his wares.
posted by GuyZero at 10:49 AM on April 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by GuyZero at 10:49 AM on April 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
Yes, not to be contrary, but I enjoyed the necromancer one the least of them. I liked it, but the others I like better. I started the daycare story already dreading the ending but was so pleased that it had a happy ending.
posted by BeReasonable at 11:06 AM on April 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by BeReasonable at 11:06 AM on April 27, 2021 [3 favorites]
Metafilter: So, I gave everybody pizza and candy and set them loose on the art room. Fuck it.
posted by mstokes650 at 11:38 AM on April 27, 2021 [9 favorites]
posted by mstokes650 at 11:38 AM on April 27, 2021 [9 favorites]
Are we back to daily/near daily posts, brainwane?
Asking for a, uh, friend who might need to clear some schedule space.
posted by Kreiger at 12:01 PM on April 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Asking for a, uh, friend who might need to clear some schedule space.
posted by Kreiger at 12:01 PM on April 27, 2021 [2 favorites]
Au contraire, a cleric has the force of a serious corporation behind them (in modern terms) and a necromancer is just a guy on the street corner peddling his wares.
Look, do you want to hire a highly trained professional adept at personal service or try and work your way through a bewildering customer service phone tree that’d more than half in archaic languages? I tell you, a necromancer will get the answer!
All licensed necromancers will also carry “Dabbling in Gods’ Domain” insurance, so all procedures are fully covered in the case of “incidents.” Have you ever asked your local temple for a refund? How did that go?
Mark my words, there’s a necromancer in your future, one way or another....
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:05 PM on April 27, 2021 [5 favorites]
Look, do you want to hire a highly trained professional adept at personal service or try and work your way through a bewildering customer service phone tree that’d more than half in archaic languages? I tell you, a necromancer will get the answer!
All licensed necromancers will also carry “Dabbling in Gods’ Domain” insurance, so all procedures are fully covered in the case of “incidents.” Have you ever asked your local temple for a refund? How did that go?
Mark my words, there’s a necromancer in your future, one way or another....
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:05 PM on April 27, 2021 [5 favorites]
Kreiger, thanks for asking! I'm working on a book right now so I am not committing to a new regular series of posts, but I am clearing out some tabs in various browsers (and sometimes I want to make a quick MeFi post because that is a little quick hit of "I made something" in contrast to the glacial pace of writing a book). So I may end up posting a few more story recommendations over the next few weeks. And anyone who wants a lot more story recommendations can check out sources I mentioned on MetaTalk last year.
posted by brainwane at 12:23 PM on April 27, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by brainwane at 12:23 PM on April 27, 2021 [14 favorites]
Thank you for these.
posted by Wretch729 at 3:59 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Wretch729 at 3:59 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
I think this cleric/necromancer thing is dead.
posted by biogeo at 5:18 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by biogeo at 5:18 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
I think this author has a different definition and sensibility of "necromancer" than I do.
posted by glonous keming at 6:40 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by glonous keming at 6:40 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
The daycare one pops up on my Tumblr every once in a while and it gets me every single time.
posted by platypus of the universe at 7:41 PM on April 27, 2021
posted by platypus of the universe at 7:41 PM on April 27, 2021
I nth that the daycare one has a touching ending, and while I wish the necromancer one used capital letters, it has great potential. I'd be curious for the sequel.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:05 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:05 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
Aww, the daycare one was sweet. Made me think of some of my favorite daycare teachers from my kids' younger years. The infant room ladies absolutely would have stayed with my kids till the bitter end.
posted by potrzebie at 9:10 PM on April 27, 2021
posted by potrzebie at 9:10 PM on April 27, 2021
Ahh, thank you for providing the answer to a question I thought about googling once or twice!
The necromancer short story is written by the same author wrote the Chilliad and I've forgotten the title and had vague memories of a bro Odysseus and that isn't the most specific search term. So thank you brainwane for posting!
posted by later, paladudes at 10:54 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
The necromancer short story is written by the same author wrote the Chilliad and I've forgotten the title and had vague memories of a bro Odysseus and that isn't the most specific search term. So thank you brainwane for posting!
posted by later, paladudes at 10:54 PM on April 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
I've read stories where "necromancer" referred to someone who could speak with the dead or someone who could reanimate dead creatures as zombies, but this is the first time I've ever seen the term used for genuinely bringing dead people back to normal life again. I kept waiting for the monkey's paw to curl.
posted by straight at 10:58 PM on April 27, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by straight at 10:58 PM on April 27, 2021 [4 favorites]
To paraphrase something I saw on Tumblr, a necromancer is a very good (or very bad doctor)
Nurse: Doctor, it's too late. He's gone.
Necromancer: Nonsense! *cracks knuckles* I didn't lose my license for nothing you know!!!
posted by ninazer0 at 12:42 AM on April 28, 2021 [3 favorites]
Nurse: Doctor, it's too late. He's gone.
Necromancer: Nonsense! *cracks knuckles* I didn't lose my license for nothing you know!!!
posted by ninazer0 at 12:42 AM on April 28, 2021 [3 favorites]
That daycare one, hooooooly wow. I'm crying, I'm laughing, I'm crying. That was so well done!
posted by MiraK at 3:31 AM on April 28, 2021
posted by MiraK at 3:31 AM on April 28, 2021
Bethany Harper (who wrote the daycare story) has a Patreon and several other Tumblr fiction posts.
posted by brainwane at 4:26 AM on April 28, 2021
posted by brainwane at 4:26 AM on April 28, 2021
The daycare one started so good but did a big ol belly flop to get to the happy ending. Well, I guess the jarring shift kept me from blubbering openly.
posted by benzenedream at 3:30 AM on April 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by benzenedream at 3:30 AM on April 30, 2021 [1 favorite]
« Older KITTEN WITH HEAD STUCK IN BONGO DRUMS | Voices From The Dawn Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
(Wish they used sentence case. Not capitalizing sentences makes it harder to scan the line of text, and is a distraction generally. But the story was fun!)
posted by darkstar at 8:19 AM on April 27, 2021 [2 favorites]