Did someone order a bard?
May 14, 2021 1:18 AM Subscribe
How D&D classes use a bow (SLTT).
If it isn't clear from the video, what is happening when a Warlock attacks like that is we manifest a spectral version of the weapon as part of a range of abilities granted to us through our pact with an otherworldly patron.
I, uh, mean ... they. They do that, or so I am told. I obviously have no first hand knowledge of such things, being a perfectly normal Christian male with a fully human wife.
*casts Disguise Self and slips away*
posted by seraphine at 4:04 AM on May 14, 2021 [12 favorites]
I, uh, mean ... they. They do that, or so I am told. I obviously have no first hand knowledge of such things, being a perfectly normal Christian male with a fully human wife.
*casts Disguise Self and slips away*
posted by seraphine at 4:04 AM on May 14, 2021 [12 favorites]
Brilliantly conceived, performed with impressive athleticism, and spot on in the depictions of the various classes' tropes (including and especially the bard).
posted by Gelatin at 4:32 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Gelatin at 4:32 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
Immediately shared with my gaming groups. And now I need to work out a bard with a very particular performance skill...
posted by abulafa at 4:37 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by abulafa at 4:37 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
The humor is all well & good, but some of those classes don't even have proficiency in bows!
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 5:03 AM on May 14, 2021 [18 favorites]
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 5:03 AM on May 14, 2021 [18 favorites]
The horny bard trope alive and well. Brings a tear to the eye to see the old traditions upheld, it does.
posted by bonehead at 5:36 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bonehead at 5:36 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
The humor is all well & good, but some of those classes don't even have proficiency in bows!Monk can pick up bow proficiency at 3rd level if they choose to be a kensei (new class path from Xanathar's Guide to Everything)
Wizard was addressed by saying that they were a bladesinger.
Druid is highly appropriate.
Cleric's a bit of a misstep since Helm's domains are Light and Life, and he should've really said, "Torm take the wheel" ... but you know what, oh, nevermind ... let's enjoy things.
posted by bl1nk at 6:03 AM on May 14, 2021 [6 favorites]
Okay, okay, now do the bec de corbin.
posted by Naberius at 6:05 AM on May 14, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 6:05 AM on May 14, 2021 [6 favorites]
I should say that this is an example of how I love the flexibility of 5th ed, where if you want to be an archer who also happens to punch or be the acolyte of a deity, you can do it relatively simply rather than being strictly gate-kept from it in 1st ed or having to assemble a variety of feats and prestige classes in 3rd ed.
posted by bl1nk at 6:14 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bl1nk at 6:14 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
Okay, okay, now do the bec de corbin.
GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:18 AM on May 14, 2021 [4 favorites]
GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE!
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:18 AM on May 14, 2021 [4 favorites]
I just want to say that I really appreciate the on-brandness of quibbling about D&D rules and this video's compliance to them in this thread.
posted by suetanvil at 6:30 AM on May 14, 2021 [25 favorites]
posted by suetanvil at 6:30 AM on May 14, 2021 [25 favorites]
>The humor is all well & good, but some of those classes don't even have proficiency in bows!
In the spirit of good natured rules quibbling, Proficiency with a weapon means you get a bonus while using it. Lack of proficiency doesn't bar you from using the weapon, it just means you won't add your proficiency bonus to your attack roll.
posted by mrgoldenbrown at 6:43 AM on May 14, 2021 [8 favorites]
In the spirit of good natured rules quibbling, Proficiency with a weapon means you get a bonus while using it. Lack of proficiency doesn't bar you from using the weapon, it just means you won't add your proficiency bonus to your attack roll.
posted by mrgoldenbrown at 6:43 AM on May 14, 2021 [8 favorites]
As a druid player, I would just like to say arf arf arf arf
posted by The otter lady at 6:47 AM on May 14, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 6:47 AM on May 14, 2021 [12 favorites]
Okay, okay, now do the bec de corbin.
GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE!
As someone who loved all the distinctions between obscure polearms in AD&D, I also love that 5e basically has this subject covered by saying essentially "if your weapon of choice isn't on the weapons table, choose the one it's closest to and go with that," so for example a katana is treated as a longsword (1d8 slashing damage or 1d10 if wielded in two hands).
posted by Gelatin at 7:07 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE!
As someone who loved all the distinctions between obscure polearms in AD&D, I also love that 5e basically has this subject covered by saying essentially "if your weapon of choice isn't on the weapons table, choose the one it's closest to and go with that," so for example a katana is treated as a longsword (1d8 slashing damage or 1d10 if wielded in two hands).
posted by Gelatin at 7:07 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
Delightful. Much of the dungeon crawl NetHack is derived from D&D. My current Ranger plays under the moniker "pincushion"...
posted by jim in austin at 7:09 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by jim in austin at 7:09 AM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
This is brilliant! I'm impressed at all levels. Insta-share with my group.
posted by meinvt at 8:16 AM on May 14, 2021
posted by meinvt at 8:16 AM on May 14, 2021
The two cleric emotions:
"Bahamut, take the wheel! His glory is with us today, my friends!"
&
"Look, you fucking fuck, I will start fucking healing your dumb ass when you fucking stop being a fucking idiot."
posted by slimepuppy at 9:38 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
"Bahamut, take the wheel! His glory is with us today, my friends!"
&
"Look, you fucking fuck, I will start fucking healing your dumb ass when you fucking stop being a fucking idiot."
posted by slimepuppy at 9:38 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
some of those classes don't even have proficiency in bows!
Assume he's a High Elf or Wood Elf, who get short and long bow proficiency because ofgenetics culture!
posted by The Tensor at 10:24 AM on May 14, 2021 [2 favorites]
Assume he's a High Elf or Wood Elf, who get short and long bow proficiency because of
posted by The Tensor at 10:24 AM on May 14, 2021 [2 favorites]
God, I miss D&D...
posted by MrJM at 10:49 AM on May 14, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by MrJM at 10:49 AM on May 14, 2021 [2 favorites]
Clerics can only use blunt weapons.
posted by WaterAndPixels at 10:52 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by WaterAndPixels at 10:52 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
IIRC D&D has blunt arrows that deal, like, subdue damage.
posted by Horkus at 10:55 AM on May 14, 2021
posted by Horkus at 10:55 AM on May 14, 2021
Clerics can only use blunt weapons.
Not in 5e! The description of the class in the PHB includes flavor text of a dwarf cleric cutting down foes with an axe.
Clerics are proficient with simple weapons, which includes daggers, short swords, handaxes, and shortbows. As noted above, some elves are proficient with longbows, and dwarves are proficient with battleaxes among other things.
posted by Gelatin at 11:00 AM on May 14, 2021
Not in 5e! The description of the class in the PHB includes flavor text of a dwarf cleric cutting down foes with an axe.
Clerics are proficient with simple weapons, which includes daggers, short swords, handaxes, and shortbows. As noted above, some elves are proficient with longbows, and dwarves are proficient with battleaxes among other things.
posted by Gelatin at 11:00 AM on May 14, 2021
I'm joking, but I've played 2nd edition for a really long time so it's pretty much hardcoded in me when I think of cerics :)
posted by WaterAndPixels at 11:26 AM on May 14, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by WaterAndPixels at 11:26 AM on May 14, 2021 [5 favorites]
Clerics can only use blunt weapons.
A bow is blunt.
An arrow is ammunition, not a weapon.
posted by explosion at 11:54 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
A bow is blunt.
An arrow is ammunition, not a weapon.
posted by explosion at 11:54 AM on May 14, 2021 [3 favorites]
The base for that pole looks heavy, and I've never known a bard that didn't have STR as their dump stat*, so I'm not sure how that would work.
*still want to do a half-orc stripper bard who's totally jacked.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:58 AM on May 14, 2021
*still want to do a half-orc stripper bard who's totally jacked.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:58 AM on May 14, 2021
still want to do a half-orc stripper bard who's totally jacked.
...uh, and now so do I.
posted by The Tensor at 12:19 PM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
...uh, and now so do I.
posted by The Tensor at 12:19 PM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE!
I'll have a slice without so much glaive in it.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:03 PM on May 14, 2021 [4 favorites]
I'll have a slice without so much glaive in it.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:03 PM on May 14, 2021 [4 favorites]
2E is my AD&D as well.
posted by glonous keming at 1:05 PM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by glonous keming at 1:05 PM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
Clerics can only use blunt weapons.
But that would make combat pointless!
posted by Glenn Grothman at 1:28 PM on May 14, 2021 [12 favorites]
But that would make combat pointless!
posted by Glenn Grothman at 1:28 PM on May 14, 2021 [12 favorites]
My group never stopped using 1E, but my kids are on 5E. There is no middle ground.
posted by fimbulvetr at 1:48 PM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by fimbulvetr at 1:48 PM on May 14, 2021 [1 favorite]
I straddled 2e and 3e successfully, one foot in the worlds old and new, and then time kept on marching and now no one cares how I think things are or should be.
But it's fine, that just makes it easier to lurk in the shadows and learn all the 5e spells. I'll have my revenge, oh yes, though I know not against who or for what reason ...
What were we talking about? Oh, right, slutty bards. What a hoot those guys are.
posted by seraphine at 3:19 PM on May 14, 2021 [2 favorites]
But it's fine, that just makes it easier to lurk in the shadows and learn all the 5e spells. I'll have my revenge, oh yes, though I know not against who or for what reason ...
What were we talking about? Oh, right, slutty bards. What a hoot those guys are.
posted by seraphine at 3:19 PM on May 14, 2021 [2 favorites]
The base for that pole looks heavy, and I've never known a bard that didn't have STR as their dump stat*, so I'm not sure how that would work.
Rope trick.
posted by Mitheral at 6:36 AM on May 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE! GLAIVE!
Pickup the pieces of your weapon: The Glaive. Avoid all boulders.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:18 PM on May 15, 2021
Pickup the pieces of your weapon: The Glaive. Avoid all boulders.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:18 PM on May 15, 2021
Clerics can only use blunt weapons.
A bow is blunt.
An arrow is ammunition, not a weapon.
DM hereby awards inspiration with advantage on next roll in recognition of heroic rules-lawyering!
posted by darkstar at 3:58 AM on May 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
A bow is blunt.
An arrow is ammunition, not a weapon.
DM hereby awards inspiration with advantage on next roll in recognition of heroic rules-lawyering!
posted by darkstar at 3:58 AM on May 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
an arrow has an edge or point thus it's a missle weapon. Paladins are of clerical class and love edge and pointed weapons, to combat evil...I ask DM to reconsider +2 next ST vs. edged weapons and 37 x.p to boot.
posted by clavdivs at 1:59 PM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 1:59 PM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
Now you know how to play Bard. You're Welcome.
posted by bartleby at 8:20 PM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by bartleby at 8:20 PM on May 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
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posted by GenjiandProust at 3:27 AM on May 14, 2021 [5 favorites]