the genderfluid couch looks like the map at the beginning of a fantasy
July 7, 2021 5:24 PM Subscribe
Autostraddle's team ponders the existential abyss of IKEA's Pride-themed couches. "terrifying bisexual couch aside, I appreciate that the lesbian one looks inspired by flamingos and urine."
IKEA's business model is basically a crime against nature...its hard to be an LGBTQ ally while you are busy trying to destroy the ecosystem (the same ecosystem all those LGBTQ people need to live). The reason why these sorts of corporate pride things always seem so crazy/bad/weird is because corporations might be "people" but they are like vampires who have lost all touch with humanity. But also like vampires they live forever, are hard to kill, and eat humans. All of these things strike us as so odd, because deep down we know how wrong it is that things like IKEA exist.
posted by stilgar at 5:59 PM on July 7, 2021 [19 favorites]
posted by stilgar at 5:59 PM on July 7, 2021 [19 favorites]
I think the asexuals may win this; that throw looks kind of cozy, unless it’s sewed down….
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:19 PM on July 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:19 PM on July 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
I also notice that they didn’t do the Leather flag…. Did your courage fail you, IKEA?
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:20 PM on July 7, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:20 PM on July 7, 2021 [11 favorites]
Hey, you guys, what's wrong with you!? I think these couches are great!
I would happily pee on each and every one of them. Hopefully right in the middle of an Ikea showroom maze.
posted by loquacious at 6:28 PM on July 7, 2021 [10 favorites]
I would happily pee on each and every one of them. Hopefully right in the middle of an Ikea showroom maze.
posted by loquacious at 6:28 PM on July 7, 2021 [10 favorites]
Thus creating the pansexual watersports megacouch?
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:29 PM on July 7, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:29 PM on July 7, 2021 [13 favorites]
IKEA's business model is basically a crime against nature...its hard to be an LGBTQ ally while you are busy trying to destroy the ecosystem (the same ecosystem all those LGBTQ people need to live).
There are plenty of LGBTQ people who are as busy as hell destroying as much of the earth as they can. Hell, the most prominent venture capitalist alive today is an evil gay vampire.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:32 PM on July 7, 2021 [18 favorites]
There are plenty of LGBTQ people who are as busy as hell destroying as much of the earth as they can. Hell, the most prominent venture capitalist alive today is an evil gay vampire.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:32 PM on July 7, 2021 [18 favorites]
Thus creating the pansexual watersports megacouch?
Don't be ridiculous. That's why rubber sheets are a thing.
posted by loquacious at 6:32 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Don't be ridiculous. That's why rubber sheets are a thing.
posted by loquacious at 6:32 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Rubber sheets are in the next aisle over, between bathware and kitchenware.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:35 PM on July 7, 2021
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:35 PM on July 7, 2021
I now want to use Pansexual Watersports Megacouch as a user name, even though I do not in any way want to deal with the consequences of having it as a user name.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:23 PM on July 7, 2021 [32 favorites]
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:23 PM on July 7, 2021 [32 favorites]
The 2 Spirits one seems more inspired by a bong and a copy of Dark Side of the Moon.
posted by kersplunk at 7:34 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by kersplunk at 7:34 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
This post is so full of delightful observations and one-liners. I am absolutely here for queer folks roasting IKEA pride couches. Great FPP.
posted by Emily's Fist at 7:36 PM on July 7, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by Emily's Fist at 7:36 PM on July 7, 2021 [14 favorites]
I wonder whether an asexual couch would have better resale value: "Nothing questionable has ever happened on this couch...."
posted by Comet Bug at 7:38 PM on July 7, 2021 [19 favorites]
posted by Comet Bug at 7:38 PM on July 7, 2021 [19 favorites]
It seems unfair to the asexuals that their couch looks like they would be sitting inside a huge alien genitalia
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 8:46 PM on July 7, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 8:46 PM on July 7, 2021 [13 favorites]
The comments at the bottom of the Autostraddle article are delightful too. "BRB, just off to sew up some under cushion restraints for the terrifying bisexual arms before they strangle me in my nightmares."
posted by spamandkimchi at 8:55 PM on July 7, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by spamandkimchi at 8:55 PM on July 7, 2021 [5 favorites]
The "genderfluid" pattern looks like Lisa Frank designed it after a bad acid trip.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:58 PM on July 7, 2021
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:58 PM on July 7, 2021
I cannot even imagine how much trouble it would be to keep the "progress" couch clean and dusted.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:59 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:59 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Quote from this CNN piece on it:
The company described the couches as "a platform to celebrate identity and share stories of love."
Look, it's 2021. No need to couch "fucking" in your PR copy.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:00 PM on July 7, 2021 [11 favorites]
The company described the couches as "a platform to celebrate identity and share stories of love."
Look, it's 2021. No need to couch "fucking" in your PR copy.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:00 PM on July 7, 2021 [11 favorites]
keep the "progress" couch clean and dusted.
Don't worry, it's all the same couch with different slip-covers. That has to make cleanup easier
posted by CrystalDave at 9:01 PM on July 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
Don't worry, it's all the same couch with different slip-covers. That has to make cleanup easier
posted by CrystalDave at 9:01 PM on July 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
In that case, I can't imagine the size of the nylon net "delicates" bag you'd need to put that slip-cover in before throwing it in the wash.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:37 PM on July 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:37 PM on July 7, 2021 [1 favorite]
I like that you can't rest on the Progress sofa.
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:57 PM on July 7, 2021 [17 favorites]
posted by Iris Gambol at 9:57 PM on July 7, 2021 [17 favorites]
I think the progress one is gorgeous. The nonbinary one looks as though it came from an airport terminal; most of the others look as though they came from hotel lobbies. Not the asexual one though: that one is definitely going to eat you.
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:11 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Joe in Australia at 11:11 PM on July 7, 2021 [3 favorites]
Bisexual couch is tired of our shit.
2Spirit couch is the definitive couch for relaxing on while tripping to Dark Side of the Moon.
posted by darkstar at 11:19 PM on July 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
2Spirit couch is the definitive couch for relaxing on while tripping to Dark Side of the Moon.
posted by darkstar at 11:19 PM on July 7, 2021 [2 favorites]
Here's Louis Virtel on Jimmy Kimmel discussing the couches.
posted by bendy at 11:21 PM on July 7, 2021
posted by bendy at 11:21 PM on July 7, 2021
I’m not a member of the community but I am an ally and I’ve been thinking hard about how all the other couches in the world are cis- hetero. This is really the culmination of decades of struggle for the LGBTQA people and I know everyone must feel that the work is really done now.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:51 PM on July 7, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:51 PM on July 7, 2021 [13 favorites]
mandolin conspiracy: "No need to couch "fucking" in your PR copy."
I see what you did there.
posted by chavenet at 12:49 AM on July 8, 2021 [7 favorites]
I see what you did there.
posted by chavenet at 12:49 AM on July 8, 2021 [7 favorites]
As a low on the totem pole consumer - food, drink, stuff that breaks - Ikea as a concept, I can kind of appreciate. I have spent money at Ikea - less than $1,000 probably
But why would you even do this? Honestly, go online and get people to knit pussy hats or seed vetch among the weeds
I have a reasonable amount of respect for Ikea as a corporation; if I kind of squint the right way, I can see why you might be tempted. But stuck on plastic flowers? fuggedaboutit
posted by Barbara Spitzer at 12:50 AM on July 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
But why would you even do this? Honestly, go online and get people to knit pussy hats or seed vetch among the weeds
I have a reasonable amount of respect for Ikea as a corporation; if I kind of squint the right way, I can see why you might be tempted. But stuck on plastic flowers? fuggedaboutit
posted by Barbara Spitzer at 12:50 AM on July 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
Seconding “ Why has this year’s pride felt even more corporate and straight than every other year when it’s extremely corporate and straight?”. Like, why specifically couches???
posted by ellieBOA at 12:59 AM on July 8, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by ellieBOA at 12:59 AM on July 8, 2021 [4 favorites]
Why has this year’s pride felt even more corporate and straight than every other year when it’s extremely corporate and straight?
It's covid. Lockdowns have meant that for many, it's only the bullshit corporate stuff that is Pride this year. The marches, the protest, the community effects, have largely not gone ahead. All this pink-washing advertising has been pushed as hard as ever though, into a much less crowded space.
posted by Dysk at 1:37 AM on July 8, 2021 [11 favorites]
It's covid. Lockdowns have meant that for many, it's only the bullshit corporate stuff that is Pride this year. The marches, the protest, the community effects, have largely not gone ahead. All this pink-washing advertising has been pushed as hard as ever though, into a much less crowded space.
posted by Dysk at 1:37 AM on July 8, 2021 [11 favorites]
Also, can I just say fuck the trans flag (blue and pink? really?? and you put fucking pastels on a flag?) and most everything derived from it. The sofas based on it somehow manage to take an offensively terrible design, and make something even worse! One of them is just a collection of badly-drawn stereotypes! High-heeled knee-highs! Excessive makeup! Fancy nails! More makeup! Yes, this accurately reflects my life, and that of all the other trans people I know. Literally all we do is makeup, ever. We don't even go out. Too busy doing makeup.
(I own no makeup. A few trans women I know so, but it's not most of them, and it's very few of not none of the trans men and NBs I know who do.)
This would have been so easy to do "right" as an empty corporate stunt. Just make a sofa in broad rainbow stripes, like the pride flag. And actually sell it as a product. Instead, that's the one thing they didn't do.
posted by Dysk at 1:48 AM on July 8, 2021 [11 favorites]
(I own no makeup. A few trans women I know so, but it's not most of them, and it's very few of not none of the trans men and NBs I know who do.)
This would have been so easy to do "right" as an empty corporate stunt. Just make a sofa in broad rainbow stripes, like the pride flag. And actually sell it as a product. Instead, that's the one thing they didn't do.
posted by Dysk at 1:48 AM on July 8, 2021 [11 favorites]
Bisexual sofa looks like it's about to grope you all over and when that happens, "nobody believes you".
This is the scariest sofa ever!
posted by Omnomnom at 3:27 AM on July 8, 2021 [15 favorites]
This is the scariest sofa ever!
posted by Omnomnom at 3:27 AM on July 8, 2021 [15 favorites]
It definitely feels like the corporate rainbow-washing campaigns have been over the top this year. It feels crass, and exploitative, and hollow.
(So, you know, perfectly on-brand for capitalism.)
I also feel like it's kinda...counterproductive? Is Pride just an annual Presidents-Day-type event now? Like, each company makes their rainbow-themed, desexualized contribution to a virtual parade of commercials and banner ads and cash-in products, and all the straights buy souvenir T-shirts and say "isn't it great how enlightened we are now", and the reason that Pride was necessary and meaningful in the first place gets forgotten a bit more each year.
And it reinforces the idea - held by many homophobes/transphobes - that LGBT identity is just a "trend"; something people do to be unique and fashionable. (Not that homophobes/transphobes need much of an excuse to think stupid shit.)
The first couple of LGBT-positive commercials (Oreo and Honey Maid come to mind) were refreshing (to this straight guy, anyway), in a "whoa, maybe things are actually changing" sort of way. But at this point, it feels like cynical business interests have wrested the microphone away from actual LGBT people, and turned the parade into a product showroom.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 3:36 AM on July 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
(So, you know, perfectly on-brand for capitalism.)
I also feel like it's kinda...counterproductive? Is Pride just an annual Presidents-Day-type event now? Like, each company makes their rainbow-themed, desexualized contribution to a virtual parade of commercials and banner ads and cash-in products, and all the straights buy souvenir T-shirts and say "isn't it great how enlightened we are now", and the reason that Pride was necessary and meaningful in the first place gets forgotten a bit more each year.
And it reinforces the idea - held by many homophobes/transphobes - that LGBT identity is just a "trend"; something people do to be unique and fashionable. (Not that homophobes/transphobes need much of an excuse to think stupid shit.)
The first couple of LGBT-positive commercials (Oreo and Honey Maid come to mind) were refreshing (to this straight guy, anyway), in a "whoa, maybe things are actually changing" sort of way. But at this point, it feels like cynical business interests have wrested the microphone away from actual LGBT people, and turned the parade into a product showroom.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 3:36 AM on July 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
I no longer work in marketing/advertising. But I did for 20 years. And I worked on some accounts that had rolling schedules with mandatory holiday-themed content on the ever-rolling, dreary conveyor belt. We'd start working on the xmas/holiday themed stuff around July. So to think of this in an even more cynical way, remember that the ad agencies are working on Pride stuff probably by early November (because there's often a break between xmas and NY day). These IKEA couches were likely in the works for well over a couple of years (!!!) considering the time it takes to get stuff like this available in warehouses all over the world.
posted by SoberHighland at 4:50 AM on July 8, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by SoberHighland at 4:50 AM on July 8, 2021 [2 favorites]
These things aren’t for sale, so they probably were produced in the normal starting 6-8 months before launch timeframe.
posted by rockindata at 5:06 AM on July 8, 2021
posted by rockindata at 5:06 AM on July 8, 2021
Ikea was very recently (like as of July 2) shamed into allowing trans and NB employees to have their chosen names used company-wide, and not just on their name badges.
Twitter thread about the issue and recent change here. Threadreader version for those who prefer that here.
Satisfying to see Ikea pushed into backing up this goofy publicity stunt with some actual supportive policy.
posted by merriment at 5:15 AM on July 8, 2021 [6 favorites]
Twitter thread about the issue and recent change here. Threadreader version for those who prefer that here.
Satisfying to see Ikea pushed into backing up this goofy publicity stunt with some actual supportive policy.
posted by merriment at 5:15 AM on July 8, 2021 [6 favorites]
All this way and no mention of Edward Gorey Ogdred Weary’s famous work The Curious Sofa.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:16 AM on July 8, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:16 AM on July 8, 2021 [5 favorites]
If a corporation doesn't donate to Republicans while pretending to give a shit about LGBTQ folks, I'm happy for them to pander.
posted by pelvicsorcery at 7:19 AM on July 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by pelvicsorcery at 7:19 AM on July 8, 2021 [1 favorite]
and you put fucking pastels on a flag?
Having had minimal lessons in proper heraldry in the SCA, the nonbinary pride flag annoys me by putting the or upon argent and purpure upon sable.
The couch version deals with it by looking like somebody stuck strips of stage spike tape more or less randomly on a normal black couch.
posted by Foosnark at 7:31 AM on July 8, 2021 [3 favorites]
Having had minimal lessons in proper heraldry in the SCA, the nonbinary pride flag annoys me by putting the or upon argent and purpure upon sable.
The couch version deals with it by looking like somebody stuck strips of stage spike tape more or less randomly on a normal black couch.
posted by Foosnark at 7:31 AM on July 8, 2021 [3 favorites]
Via The Cut, I found a YouTube video posted by IKEA Canada of folks actually sitting on the loveseats (& talking about Pride.)
posted by soundguy99 at 7:56 AM on July 8, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by soundguy99 at 7:56 AM on July 8, 2021 [2 favorites]
The lesbian sofa (I refuse to use the Walmart-ish term “couch”) looks sweet and tropical.
posted by BostonTerrier at 10:35 AM on July 8, 2021
posted by BostonTerrier at 10:35 AM on July 8, 2021
This would have been so easy to do "right" as an empty corporate stunt. Just make a sofa in broad rainbow stripes, like the pride flag. And actually sell it as a product. Instead, that's the one thing they didn't do.
I fall very easily for corporate LGBTQ+ shilling and I would not buy any of these couches. A big-ass rainbow couch though, yes, that I would buy.
posted by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on July 8, 2021
I fall very easily for corporate LGBTQ+ shilling and I would not buy any of these couches. A big-ass rainbow couch though, yes, that I would buy.
posted by Anonymous at 3:12 PM on July 8, 2021
A big-ass rainbow couch though
Are we not doing phrasing any more?
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:33 PM on July 8, 2021 [4 favorites]
Are we not doing phrasing any more?
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:33 PM on July 8, 2021 [4 favorites]
Having had minimal lessons in proper heraldry in the SCA, the nonbinary pride flag annoys me
Vexes, surely.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:38 PM on July 8, 2021 [4 favorites]
Vexes, surely.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:38 PM on July 8, 2021 [4 favorites]
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