Busy doing what?
July 15, 2021 6:41 PM Subscribe
The mothership has recalled them; their, ah, plans just got moved up.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:48 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:48 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
Seat on First Passenger Flight of Blue Origin
$28,000,000 & Free Returns
Fulfilled by Amazon
posted by Thorzdad at 6:55 PM on July 15, 2021 [20 favorites]
$28,000,000 & Free Returns
Fulfilled by Amazon
posted by Thorzdad at 6:55 PM on July 15, 2021 [20 favorites]
busy not wanting people talking about guillotining them on Twitter
This makes a lot of sense, but I was hoping for something funnier.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:56 PM on July 15, 2021 [4 favorites]
This makes a lot of sense, but I was hoping for something funnier.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:56 PM on July 15, 2021 [4 favorites]
Like oh, I forgot I have a colonoscopy scheduled that day and I can't get another appointment.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:57 PM on July 15, 2021
posted by Literaryhero at 6:57 PM on July 15, 2021
What are the chances it was Branson and this was just part of some gigantic fake-out to ensure Bezos wouldn't suspect anything until it was too late?
Didn't he team up with former rival Steve Fossett to make a joint attempt at ballooning around the world? Calling some sort of billionaire truce and buying the ticket would be in character, and Branson seems like the kind of guy who would do it while making secret plans to launch his own rocket anyway.
If so, ugh. These people aren't taxed nearly enough.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:00 PM on July 15, 2021 [12 favorites]
Didn't he team up with former rival Steve Fossett to make a joint attempt at ballooning around the world? Calling some sort of billionaire truce and buying the ticket would be in character, and Branson seems like the kind of guy who would do it while making secret plans to launch his own rocket anyway.
If so, ugh. These people aren't taxed nearly enough.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:00 PM on July 15, 2021 [12 favorites]
The cool part of this story isn't the rich dude too busy to go not-really-to-space, nor is it the 18 year old kid. The cool story is one of the other folks along for the ride: Wally Funk.
posted by Nelson at 7:00 PM on July 15, 2021 [102 favorites]
Mary Wallace "Wally" Funk (born February 1, 1939) is an American aviator and Goodwill Ambassador. She was the first female air safety investigator for the National Transportation Safety Board, the first female civilian flight instructor at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, and the first female Federal Aviation Agency inspector, as well as one of the Mercury 13. ...The Mercury 13 deserve a FPP of their own. Women in the 1960s who passed astronaut testing but didn't get to actually train or go to space because space is for boys.
She has over 18,600 flight hours and as of June 2019 still flies every Saturday as an instructor [at age 82].
posted by Nelson at 7:00 PM on July 15, 2021 [102 favorites]
Their busy. They got plans. Big important plans. What more do you wanna know?
posted by eagles123 at 7:07 PM on July 15, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by eagles123 at 7:07 PM on July 15, 2021 [3 favorites]
busy not wanting people talking about guillotining them on Twitter
I feel like anyone with that kind of money already knows what people think about them on Twitter. $28 million is a lot of money to walk away from to avoid angry tweets that are, as much as it may pain the posters of said tweets, ultimately meaningless noise.
I'd put my money on the person getting into legal trouble they can't avoid, maybe some crypto currency scam thing that's falling apart too early.
posted by star gentle uterus at 7:11 PM on July 15, 2021 [9 favorites]
I feel like anyone with that kind of money already knows what people think about them on Twitter. $28 million is a lot of money to walk away from to avoid angry tweets that are, as much as it may pain the posters of said tweets, ultimately meaningless noise.
I'd put my money on the person getting into legal trouble they can't avoid, maybe some crypto currency scam thing that's falling apart too early.
posted by star gentle uterus at 7:11 PM on July 15, 2021 [9 favorites]
Same here! I too was busy that day. What a coincidence! I had my bag of $28 million ready but I remembered that I had to return my copy of "Synthesizing Gravity" (ironic!) by Kay Ryan because there are three people on the wait list at the Metcalfe branch of the Ottawa Public Library. Sorry!
posted by storybored at 7:14 PM on July 15, 2021 [16 favorites]
posted by storybored at 7:14 PM on July 15, 2021 [16 favorites]
As great a choice as she is, flying Wally Funk is such a transparent PR move to flack for all the Patrick Bateman looking MFers they'll be launching the rest of the time. I thought they might have held off on that for a bit though. Even SpaceX's tourist has had the sense to fly three other, less mediapathic, folk along with him.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 7:16 PM on July 15, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 7:16 PM on July 15, 2021 [14 favorites]
$28 million is a lot of money to walk away from
The article says that the passenger has “chosen to fly on a future New Shepard mission”, so I don't think there's necessarily any walking away from money involved.
(Archive link for those who want to read it without registering.)
posted by teraflop at 7:17 PM on July 15, 2021 [2 favorites]
The article says that the passenger has “chosen to fly on a future New Shepard mission”, so I don't think there's necessarily any walking away from money involved.
(Archive link for those who want to read it without registering.)
posted by teraflop at 7:17 PM on July 15, 2021 [2 favorites]
But it said that the trip would “fulfill a lifelong dream for Oliver”
He's 18. It's not that long to carry a dream, really. Bully for the 82 year old actually astronaut-trained woman who is going. Now THAT is fulfilling a lifelong dream!
posted by hippybear at 7:17 PM on July 15, 2021 [35 favorites]
He's 18. It's not that long to carry a dream, really. Bully for the 82 year old actually astronaut-trained woman who is going. Now THAT is fulfilling a lifelong dream!
posted by hippybear at 7:17 PM on July 15, 2021 [35 favorites]
(You can click "I'll try later" and skip the registration step.)
posted by hippybear at 7:18 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by hippybear at 7:18 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
After this passenger shuffle, Oliver Daemen, 18, will make history as the youngest person to fly in space; 82-year-old Wally Funk, mentioned above, is expected to break John Glenn's record as the oldest person to reach space.
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:28 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:28 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
I wouldn't begrudge anyone getting to go to space, just because of their age. I would probably side-eye someone who passes on the opportunity to go, unless they had a good reason.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 7:34 PM on July 15, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 7:34 PM on July 15, 2021 [3 favorites]
I lied. It was indeed loquacious.
posted by storybored at 7:37 PM on July 15, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by storybored at 7:37 PM on July 15, 2021 [3 favorites]
It was going to be Sun Ra, but Bezos didn't understand what he meant by "I'll only need a one-way ticket."
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 7:40 PM on July 15, 2021 [17 favorites]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 7:40 PM on July 15, 2021 [17 favorites]
I wouldn't begrudge anyone getting to go to space, just because of their age. I would probably side-eye someone who passes on the opportunity to go, unless they had a good reason.
They're using a rocket to get into space. Until they've done a few thousand manned launches without mishaps I'd guess that the chances of dying horribly are pretty big.
posted by rdr at 7:43 PM on July 15, 2021 [11 favorites]
They're using a rocket to get into space. Until they've done a few thousand manned launches without mishaps I'd guess that the chances of dying horribly are pretty big.
posted by rdr at 7:43 PM on July 15, 2021 [11 favorites]
Busy dying, hopefully, as Shawshank Redemption taught us.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:02 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:02 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
If you can spend $28M on this at all, $28M is not a lot of money for you.
posted by mhoye at 8:13 PM on July 15, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by mhoye at 8:13 PM on July 15, 2021 [11 favorites]
Look, I told you, she's busy! Hey! Back, off, buster!
posted by daisystomper at 8:15 PM on July 15, 2021
posted by daisystomper at 8:15 PM on July 15, 2021
Whoever it is should be glad the flight wasn't on United, 'cause the ticket change fees would have been astronomical.
posted by PhineasGage at 8:18 PM on July 15, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by PhineasGage at 8:18 PM on July 15, 2021 [14 favorites]
I’m just glad that some 18 year old scion of a wealthy CEO gets to do this, because, I mean, the world has really been rough on those guys and they’re due for a break.
posted by darkstar at 8:19 PM on July 15, 2021 [32 favorites]
posted by darkstar at 8:19 PM on July 15, 2021 [32 favorites]
Intervention for mentally ill child or parent.
Defending Ph.D. thesis.
Donating a kidney.
Hit by a truck.
In jail.
Under investigation and not able to leave town.
In labor, or in a relationship with someone in labor.
Dealing with a forest fire.
Helping relatives flee or fight a natural disaster.
Appointment at the Apple genius bar.
posted by amtho at 8:23 PM on July 15, 2021 [11 favorites]
Defending Ph.D. thesis.
Donating a kidney.
Hit by a truck.
In jail.
Under investigation and not able to leave town.
In labor, or in a relationship with someone in labor.
Dealing with a forest fire.
Helping relatives flee or fight a natural disaster.
Appointment at the Apple genius bar.
posted by amtho at 8:23 PM on July 15, 2021 [11 favorites]
It’s a lot less fun to root for the rocket to explode somewhere in the stratosphere when there’s some GoodWill ambassador and a dumb kid on board instead of two assholes who should be expropriated. I guess I’ll have to start thinking of more creative ways for it to go wrong that just impact Bezos now so I can fantasize properly.
posted by dis_integration at 8:26 PM on July 15, 2021 [24 favorites]
posted by dis_integration at 8:26 PM on July 15, 2021 [24 favorites]
The assassination plot was discovered so they decided reschedule.
posted by glonous keming at 8:29 PM on July 15, 2021
posted by glonous keming at 8:29 PM on July 15, 2021
a Ray Smuckles-level power move
This phrase needs to be in common parlance.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:38 PM on July 15, 2021 [18 favorites]
This phrase needs to be in common parlance.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:38 PM on July 15, 2021 [18 favorites]
Honestly, I assumed this was some kind of cover for a medical issue that made them ineligible to fly.
posted by NormieP at 8:53 PM on July 15, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by NormieP at 8:53 PM on July 15, 2021 [4 favorites]
You'd have to be John-Hurt-In-Contact levels of wealthy to be allowed to rocket into orbit with a serious medical issue, I suspect. If you fund it yourself, nobody can tell you no.
c.f. all these rich assholes. (Branson is by all reputation a nice guy.)
posted by hippybear at 9:13 PM on July 15, 2021
c.f. all these rich assholes. (Branson is by all reputation a nice guy.)
posted by hippybear at 9:13 PM on July 15, 2021
I had to give up a free trip to Bali once because I had a citizenship appointment with my mom that I had been waiting for for either three or ten years, depending on how you count.
I’m not sure about space, but I sure would like to set foot in Asia someday.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:46 PM on July 15, 2021 [6 favorites]
I’m not sure about space, but I sure would like to set foot in Asia someday.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:46 PM on July 15, 2021 [6 favorites]
The Mercury 13 deserve a FPP of their own.
Your wish was granted a while back. That doesn't exclude a new one if you can find a way to make it new and fresh.
posted by hippybear at 9:48 PM on July 15, 2021 [8 favorites]
Your wish was granted a while back. That doesn't exclude a new one if you can find a way to make it new and fresh.
posted by hippybear at 9:48 PM on July 15, 2021 [8 favorites]
The article says that the passenger has “chosen to fly on a future New Shepard mission”, so I don't think there's necessarily any walking away from money involved.
I think the $28M was for the chance to go on the first flight, and a regular ticket is only a few hundred thousand.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 9:54 PM on July 15, 2021
I think the $28M was for the chance to go on the first flight, and a regular ticket is only a few hundred thousand.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 9:54 PM on July 15, 2021
The busy billionaire's just lost their nerve, surely? Everything else is face-saving bullshit.
posted by Paul Slade at 11:04 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Paul Slade at 11:04 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
...tweets that are, as much as it may pain the posters of said tweets, ultimately meaningless noise.
I think recent history has disproved this assertion - - tweets can cause serious real world damage.
posted by fairmettle at 11:10 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
I think recent history has disproved this assertion - - tweets can cause serious real world damage.
posted by fairmettle at 11:10 PM on July 15, 2021 [1 favorite]
To who? Certainly not the people with the level of wealth we're talking about here. Rage all you want on Twitter against the Musks or Bezoses of the world, they're just getting richer and richer.
posted by star gentle uterus at 12:09 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by star gentle uterus at 12:09 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
I can relate. I’m too busy too. Also... fuck outer space. I’ve heard no one can even hear you scream there. Fuck that. I wanna scream. And be heard.
Fuck outer space.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:11 AM on July 16, 2021 [9 favorites]
Fuck outer space.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 12:11 AM on July 16, 2021 [9 favorites]
Imagine an Earth 2 where they have even more power and even less awareness of how that power affects others. It's hard to really know what effect human outcry has because we can't see the version of reality where it doesn't exist.
posted by amtho at 12:13 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by amtho at 12:13 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
A few parents of 18 year olds wishing they too could afford to send them into orbit. Motivations: various.
posted by rongorongo at 2:51 AM on July 16, 2021 [16 favorites]
posted by rongorongo at 2:51 AM on July 16, 2021 [16 favorites]
Under investigation and not able to leave town.
They need to consult with their space attorney: If you are not allowed to leave town, and you go into orbit flying straight up have you violated your terms or not?
posted by each day we work at 3:01 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
They need to consult with their space attorney: If you are not allowed to leave town, and you go into orbit flying straight up have you violated your terms or not?
posted by each day we work at 3:01 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
As great a choice as she is, flying Wally Funk is such a transparent PR move…
I wonder if they are working on a way to have Alice Kramden on the first tourist trip to the moon.
posted by TedW at 4:18 AM on July 16, 2021 [11 favorites]
I wonder if they are working on a way to have Alice Kramden on the first tourist trip to the moon.
posted by TedW at 4:18 AM on July 16, 2021 [11 favorites]
Like oh, I forgot I have a colonoscopy scheduled that day and I can't get another appointment.
Or worse, they have a colonoscopy scheduled the next day.
You do NOT want to be doing that prep in space.
posted by basalganglia at 4:27 AM on July 16, 2021 [9 favorites]
Or worse, they have a colonoscopy scheduled the next day.
You do NOT want to be doing that prep in space.
posted by basalganglia at 4:27 AM on July 16, 2021 [9 favorites]
I would probably side-eye someone who passes on the opportunity to go, unless they had a good reason.
Is being scared a good enough reason?
I mean, if someone randomly knocked on my door and offered me a chance to go into space, I'd probably think about it and then say "no" precisely because the idea of being launched into space in a tiny experimental capsule atop a giant rocket terrifies me. But that's just me. Your mileage may vary.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:34 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Is being scared a good enough reason?
I mean, if someone randomly knocked on my door and offered me a chance to go into space, I'd probably think about it and then say "no" precisely because the idea of being launched into space in a tiny experimental capsule atop a giant rocket terrifies me. But that's just me. Your mileage may vary.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:34 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
“I have to return some videotapes.”
posted by jquinby at 4:46 AM on July 16, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by jquinby at 4:46 AM on July 16, 2021 [11 favorites]
Of course, if post-scarcity luxury gay space communist aliens knocked on my door and offered me a chance to go to space in their fully-automated, anti-gravity-propelled, 1980s Swedish car of a shuttlecraft, I'd probably reconsider.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:50 AM on July 16, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:50 AM on July 16, 2021 [4 favorites]
When post-scarcity luxury gay space communist aliens show up Bezos will be out of a job
posted by mbo at 5:11 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by mbo at 5:11 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Too busy helping with the Kraken's expansion draft.
posted by stevis23 at 5:19 AM on July 16, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by stevis23 at 5:19 AM on July 16, 2021 [3 favorites]
We should stop buying what they're selling. This doesn't really count as "going to space" anymore than me driving in and out of the Trader Joe's parking lot counts as "going to the grocery store "
posted by rikschell at 5:25 AM on July 16, 2021 [18 favorites]
posted by rikschell at 5:25 AM on July 16, 2021 [18 favorites]
Strong McDuck/Glomgold rivalry energy.
posted by signal at 5:39 AM on July 16, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by signal at 5:39 AM on July 16, 2021 [3 favorites]
Dear Mr. Adams, Thanks for your letter inviting me to join the committee of the Arts and Sciences for Eisenhower. I must decline, for secret reasons. Sincerely, E.B.Whiteposted by nebulawindphone at 5:40 AM on July 16, 2021 [16 favorites]
They need to consult with their space attorney:
I think Murd Blurdock is busy, what with all the recent terraforming of Mars and whatnot.
posted by signal at 5:50 AM on July 16, 2021
I think Murd Blurdock is busy, what with all the recent terraforming of Mars and whatnot.
posted by signal at 5:50 AM on July 16, 2021
"I have to return some videotapes."
I can't favorite this enough.
posted by Hutch at 6:23 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
I can't favorite this enough.
posted by Hutch at 6:23 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
The Mercury 13 deserve a FPP of their own. Women in the 1960s who passed astronaut testing but didn't get to actually train or go to space because space is for boys.
That is one reason why I am loving "For All Mankind" - an alternate history where that was rectified (although still for political gain, but...) - even though I was a bit of a space geek when I was a kid, Mercury 13 was never mentioned - typical burial by the boys club.
posted by rozcakj at 6:24 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
That is one reason why I am loving "For All Mankind" - an alternate history where that was rectified (although still for political gain, but...) - even though I was a bit of a space geek when I was a kid, Mercury 13 was never mentioned - typical burial by the boys club.
posted by rozcakj at 6:24 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
Branson is not a good guy. No one who spends this much money on bullshit when there is do much suffering they could alleviate is a good guy.
Tax these fuckers.
posted by emjaybee at 6:28 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
Tax these fuckers.
posted by emjaybee at 6:28 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
Tax these fuckers
HARD
Or eat them. I don't care which .
posted by BlueHorse at 6:45 AM on July 16, 2021 [7 favorites]
HARD
Or eat them. I don't care which .
posted by BlueHorse at 6:45 AM on July 16, 2021 [7 favorites]
the chances of dying horribly are pretty big.
It's generally way too quick to qualify as horrible.
posted by heatherlogan at 6:49 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
It's generally way too quick to qualify as horrible.
posted by heatherlogan at 6:49 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
I just signed a 6 month lease on my apartment. I can't walk away from a commitment like that.
posted by davelog at 6:50 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by davelog at 6:50 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
Or eat them. I don't care which .
Probably not a good idea. As apex predators, they would accumulate toxins from the food chain. Composting them would be safer.
posted by acb at 6:55 AM on July 16, 2021 [7 favorites]
Probably not a good idea. As apex predators, they would accumulate toxins from the food chain. Composting them would be safer.
posted by acb at 6:55 AM on July 16, 2021 [7 favorites]
"It's generally way too quick to qualify as horrible."
Generally? The three members of Soyuz 11 died in space after their capsule decompressed after undocking from the Salyut 1 station. The seven member screw of the Challenger probably survived the explosion and were probably killed upon impact with the water, well after the booster rocket exploded. The seven members of the Columbia crew were burned alive during re-entry. That's the majority of astronaut deaths right there, and none of them were quick, and they all sound horrible.
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:11 AM on July 16, 2021 [7 favorites]
Generally? The three members of Soyuz 11 died in space after their capsule decompressed after undocking from the Salyut 1 station. The seven member screw of the Challenger probably survived the explosion and were probably killed upon impact with the water, well after the booster rocket exploded. The seven members of the Columbia crew were burned alive during re-entry. That's the majority of astronaut deaths right there, and none of them were quick, and they all sound horrible.
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:11 AM on July 16, 2021 [7 favorites]
Would have been a highly wasteful but comically fun thing for MacKenzie Scott to buy the seat and fill it with the absolute worst person for her ex-husband to be trapped with in a small enclosed space for hours. Like a professional flatulist or something. Hell she could have gone herself and enjoyed just making it super awkward the whole time.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 7:27 AM on July 16, 2021 [20 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 7:27 AM on July 16, 2021 [20 favorites]
I think you're just missing Komarov, whose few minutes of angry whatever-passes-for-terror-in-someone-like-that were probably not high on anyone's list of great ways to die?
Similarly, I dunno much about this thankfully but I expect that breathing hypergolics like almost killed the Americans on Apollo/Soyuz is Not Really Very Fun.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:29 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
Similarly, I dunno much about this thankfully but I expect that breathing hypergolics like almost killed the Americans on Apollo/Soyuz is Not Really Very Fun.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 7:29 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
"I think you're just missing Komarov, whose few minutes of angry whatever-passes-for-terror-in-someone-like-that were probably not high on anyone's list of great ways to die?"
Indeed. I was figuring that his death on impact was quick, but didn't take into account the fact that he knew what was happening, just like the others.
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:46 AM on July 16, 2021
Indeed. I was figuring that his death on impact was quick, but didn't take into account the fact that he knew what was happening, just like the others.
posted by jonathanhughes at 7:46 AM on July 16, 2021
I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare.
posted by TedW at 7:56 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by TedW at 7:56 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
Of all the dumb shit multi-millionaires spend their money on, this one is at least understandable. Given a choice between collecting pre-Raphaelite artwork, building a house with more rooms than anybody can possibly use, investing in dumb startups that are destroying the world, and going into space, I can understand choosing the last. Spending more on helping other people would be great, of course. And no ethical society would allow billionaires to exist. But, since they do, I don't get why this particular boondoggle is so hated.
One of my favorite questions is to ask people at parties is whether they would sign up for a trip to (a) the moon (b) mars, (c) the nearest star, (d) the same if you had a 50% chance of survival, (e) the same if you knew you'd only live two years after arriving. Anecdotally, pretty much every one I've met in Antarctica says, "hell yes," to all of them. I would ask detailed questions first, but my answer is "almost certainly." Most people I meet in daily life have a different answer. There's nothing wrong with that. It's probably more socially responsible. But, I find the difference fascinating.
posted by eotvos at 7:58 AM on July 16, 2021 [9 favorites]
One of my favorite questions is to ask people at parties is whether they would sign up for a trip to (a) the moon (b) mars, (c) the nearest star, (d) the same if you had a 50% chance of survival, (e) the same if you knew you'd only live two years after arriving. Anecdotally, pretty much every one I've met in Antarctica says, "hell yes," to all of them. I would ask detailed questions first, but my answer is "almost certainly." Most people I meet in daily life have a different answer. There's nothing wrong with that. It's probably more socially responsible. But, I find the difference fascinating.
posted by eotvos at 7:58 AM on July 16, 2021 [9 favorites]
I think this highlights the absurdity of the financialized way we think about modern economies: nobody is starving because we build too many rockets and too few farms. Nobody is homeless because we dedicate too much land to space ports and not enough to housing. Nobody is dying of uncontrolled diabetes because we train too many astronauts and too few pharmaceutical scientists. We could feed and house and provide medical care to everyone and still let a few rich people go on almost-but-not-really-space joyrides.
posted by Pyry at 8:05 AM on July 16, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by Pyry at 8:05 AM on July 16, 2021 [8 favorites]
I have a colonoscopy scheduled that day
Probing Uranus certainly beats just reaching the edge of space.
posted by Phanx at 8:05 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
Probing Uranus certainly beats just reaching the edge of space.
posted by Phanx at 8:05 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
I think the perception is that those billionaires have space jaunt money only because we let people starve, die of disease, and suffer horribly. Instead of taxing them.
posted by emjaybee at 8:10 AM on July 16, 2021 [10 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 8:10 AM on July 16, 2021 [10 favorites]
Apparently, he dropped out because he had a date with Mila Kunis.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:18 AM on July 16, 2021
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 8:18 AM on July 16, 2021
Has everyone overlooked the fact that this is the first crewed flight of this spacecraft?
Would you personally get in the first version of anything that has a rocket engine attached to it? Hell, I won't even download the first version of Mac OSX when it releases a new system.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:34 AM on July 16, 2021 [14 favorites]
Would you personally get in the first version of anything that has a rocket engine attached to it? Hell, I won't even download the first version of Mac OSX when it releases a new system.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:34 AM on July 16, 2021 [14 favorites]
I had forgotten that Jon Lovett in his "Out of Closets and Into the Streets" podcast special a few weeks back had a bracket competition to find the most camp thing ever. The winner - and most camp thing ever - was Jeff Bezos dying in space - Total Recall style like he'd lost his helmet on Mars.
While I don't want anyone to get hurt, I do think we should send Chris Tucker up in full Ruby Rhod character mode from the Fifth Element to totally take the piss out of this entire trip.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 8:40 AM on July 16, 2021
While I don't want anyone to get hurt, I do think we should send Chris Tucker up in full Ruby Rhod character mode from the Fifth Element to totally take the piss out of this entire trip.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 8:40 AM on July 16, 2021
If I were given a choice between (a) losing $28 million of my money, and (b) losing $28 million of my money *and* suffering through a billionaire whimsy space travel thing while closeted with Jeff Bezos for a long time, I would pick option (a). Even if I had foolishly signed up for the trip in the first place. So to me this choice doesn't seem that surprising.
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:52 AM on July 16, 2021
posted by splitpeasoup at 8:52 AM on July 16, 2021
Inspired by rikschell above, I made a meme.
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:56 AM on July 16, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by frecklefaerie at 8:56 AM on July 16, 2021 [4 favorites]
Wally Funk getting her Astronaut wings is 'the right thing to do'.
Bezos the space enthusiast is ensuring Mercury 13 gets to fly. Bezos the businessman is making a pretty transparent PR move. I can happily hold on to both of my opinions at once,
posted by ewan at 9:02 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Bezos the space enthusiast is ensuring Mercury 13 gets to fly. Bezos the businessman is making a pretty transparent PR move. I can happily hold on to both of my opinions at once,
posted by ewan at 9:02 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Actually scrub Chris Tucker....if we can find someone to be the character of Sterling Archer from the animated TV series Archer - send them hung over with Jeff in the launch.
Archer: Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. JJJJEEEEFFFFF!
Jeff Bezos: What!
Archer: Do you have any tomato juice, for I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god; Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails; pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 9:04 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Archer: Jeff. Jeff. Jeff. JJJJEEEEFFFFF!
Jeff Bezos: What!
Archer: Do you have any tomato juice, for I am a sinner in the hands of an angry god; Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails; pray for me now, at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 9:04 AM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Wally Funk getting her Astronaut wings is 'the right thing to do'.
And on the off chance that the crew is exposed to cosmic radiation and this launch becomes an origin story, we need a similarly-powered hero to come out of it to defend us against Bezos and that 18 year old kid.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 9:14 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
And on the off chance that the crew is exposed to cosmic radiation and this launch becomes an origin story, we need a similarly-powered hero to come out of it to defend us against Bezos and that 18 year old kid.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 9:14 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
I'm chafing a bit about everyone talking about this as a spaceflight. Blue Origin plans to fly to 100km for a few minutes. They are not getting anywhere near the altitude required for orbit. Virgin Galactic cheaped out and stopped at 89.2km. Both flights meet some technical definitions of "space". Neither are particularly of practical use other than as an equipment test on the way to getting to orbit. What's impressive is they're doing this flight as private companies. We're celebrating their capitalist achievement. (Imagine that, Metafilter Brigades!).
I don't mean to diminish the difficulty and engineering prowess to safely use a rocket for human flight. Well, hopefully safely. But honestly these are marketing stunts from two companies that are a few years behind in private development of space. Meanwhile SpaceX has a working crew capsule docking with the space station. Also they're launching 60 satellites a week to make the communications network I'm posting this message from. I'm no Elon Musk fanboy but I respect SpaceX's focus and achievements.
posted by Nelson at 9:35 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
I don't mean to diminish the difficulty and engineering prowess to safely use a rocket for human flight. Well, hopefully safely. But honestly these are marketing stunts from two companies that are a few years behind in private development of space. Meanwhile SpaceX has a working crew capsule docking with the space station. Also they're launching 60 satellites a week to make the communications network I'm posting this message from. I'm no Elon Musk fanboy but I respect SpaceX's focus and achievements.
posted by Nelson at 9:35 AM on July 16, 2021 [6 favorites]
This will be a historic flight to the edge of space for three human passengers and Jeff Bezos.
posted by snofoam at 10:25 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by snofoam at 10:25 AM on July 16, 2021 [5 favorites]
Thanks for Synthesizing Gravity recommendation, MeF(r)i(end).
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 11:30 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 11:30 AM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
OOOooooh! New possible reason for being "busy":
Underlings have planned a coup at the company, counting on the CEO (or counting on Dad) being totally unable to react during the flight. Word found its way to our protagonist, who had to choose between financial and personal ruin or ... not going.
posted by amtho at 12:25 PM on July 16, 2021
Underlings have planned a coup at the company, counting on the CEO (or counting on Dad) being totally unable to react during the flight. Word found its way to our protagonist, who had to choose between financial and personal ruin or ... not going.
posted by amtho at 12:25 PM on July 16, 2021
They need to consult with their space attorney: If you are not allowed to leave town, and you go into orbit flying straight up have you violated your terms or not?
You can't get to orbit by flying straight up. To get to orbit you need to fly sideways at 28000 km/h. Orbit is leaving town as quickly as possible, with your only excuse being that you will be back to town in 92 minutes.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:17 PM on July 16, 2021 [3 favorites]
You can't get to orbit by flying straight up. To get to orbit you need to fly sideways at 28000 km/h. Orbit is leaving town as quickly as possible, with your only excuse being that you will be back to town in 92 minutes.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:17 PM on July 16, 2021 [3 favorites]
I don't think so; Ashton Kutcher reportedly dropped $200,000 for a spot on Virgin Galactic in 2012, and sold the ticket back after he started a family.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:31 PM on July 16, 2021
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:31 PM on July 16, 2021
Either that, or it's a Ray Smuckles-level power move to impress whoever they canceled the flight for.
Take THAT, Bensington Butters!
posted by MrBadExample at 3:32 PM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
Take THAT, Bensington Butters!
posted by MrBadExample at 3:32 PM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
Orbit is leaving town as quickly as possible, with your only excuse being that you will be back to town in 92 minutes.
Irish exit
French exit
Newtonian exit
posted by condour75 at 6:09 PM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
Newtonian exit
posted by condour75 at 6:09 PM on July 16, 2021 [2 favorites]
The cool story is one of the other folks along for the ride: Wally Funk.
The Independent article neglected to mention that Funk is a woman while clearly saying that Oliver is a man. One of the linked articles has a photo of Bezos and Funk together, but I was surprised to read in this thread that she's a she. It caught me a little off guard.
I wish it hadn't.
posted by bendy at 7:29 PM on July 16, 2021
The Independent article neglected to mention that Funk is a woman while clearly saying that Oliver is a man. One of the linked articles has a photo of Bezos and Funk together, but I was surprised to read in this thread that she's a she. It caught me a little off guard.
I wish it hadn't.
posted by bendy at 7:29 PM on July 16, 2021
orbit
Naw, these are strictly suborbital flights. The Virgin flight didn't even break the Kármán line.
As for PR - I found it hilarious that Branson was on LSSC with Stephen Colbert: the episode before Colbert teased that it was a "contractually obligated" guest, was a genial enough host the next episode, then followed up with an episode mentioning that Branson's "bicycle ride" to the launch was staged/ fake and that the souvenir photo of Colbert presented to Colbert by Branson during the interview doesn't match the promo video of Branson preparing to take the photo with him pre-flight.
posted by porpoise at 7:33 PM on July 16, 2021
Naw, these are strictly suborbital flights. The Virgin flight didn't even break the Kármán line.
As for PR - I found it hilarious that Branson was on LSSC with Stephen Colbert: the episode before Colbert teased that it was a "contractually obligated" guest, was a genial enough host the next episode, then followed up with an episode mentioning that Branson's "bicycle ride" to the launch was staged/ fake and that the souvenir photo of Colbert presented to Colbert by Branson during the interview doesn't match the promo video of Branson preparing to take the photo with him pre-flight.
posted by porpoise at 7:33 PM on July 16, 2021
I'm chafing a bit about everyone talking about this as a spaceflight.
I know! Why is most of the world buying this ridiculous nonsense that they're going to space?
posted by medusa at 9:03 PM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
I know! Why is most of the world buying this ridiculous nonsense that they're going to space?
posted by medusa at 9:03 PM on July 16, 2021 [1 favorite]
Well, technically, they've been closer to space than 99% of us have, even though they didn't actually get there.
(I'm not condoning or supporting the "spaceflight" hoopla, regardless)
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:25 PM on July 16, 2021
(I'm not condoning or supporting the "spaceflight" hoopla, regardless)
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:25 PM on July 16, 2021
Well, technically, they've been closer to space than 99% of us have, even though they didn't actually get there.
Wait wait wait... I have to check my drug diary. I'm pretty sure I've been closer than they have.
posted by hippybear at 9:41 PM on July 16, 2021 [4 favorites]
Wait wait wait... I have to check my drug diary. I'm pretty sure I've been closer than they have.
posted by hippybear at 9:41 PM on July 16, 2021 [4 favorites]
Hey, maybe when Bezos reaches space and looks at the Earth he'll get an epiphany about how fragile and interconnected the planet is and be as fervent about like stopping climate change or uniting all peoples as he was running Amazon. I'm kind of half joking, because it's actually a real thing experienced by astronauts called the Overview effect.
But I do wonder, is it better to have lazy rich Bezos or hyper fanatical Bezos?
posted by FJT at 12:22 AM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
But I do wonder, is it better to have lazy rich Bezos or hyper fanatical Bezos?
posted by FJT at 12:22 AM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Stephen Collins on the billionaire space force
posted by Grangousier at 3:16 AM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Grangousier at 3:16 AM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Washington State director of Climate Solutions on Twitter: "Cars were only accessible to the wealthy at first - now accessible to most. Same thing with electricity, phones, flight, computers, cellular technology, and just about everything else. Billionaires going to space is just a step along the path to democratic access to space."
posted by PhineasGage at 10:43 AM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by PhineasGage at 10:43 AM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
maybe when Bezos reaches space and looks at the Earth he'll get an epiphany about how fragile and interconnected the planet is
Yeah right, when capitalist pigs fly...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:27 PM on July 17, 2021
Yeah right, when capitalist pigs fly...
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:27 PM on July 17, 2021
Billionaires going to space is just a step along the path to democratic access to space
Call me when rocket fuel is $30 for a fill up
posted by dis_integration at 1:05 PM on July 17, 2021
Call me when rocket fuel is $30 for a fill up
posted by dis_integration at 1:05 PM on July 17, 2021
On the Karman line thing, I think (recent FP alum) Jonathan McDowell's paper is pretty convincing that the USAF's 50 mile mark is closer to von Karman's definition of the line than the FAI's 100 kilometres. That puts VG over the line, along with 7 of the 8 X-15 pilots to be awarded astronaut wings (Walker makes the list by either definition).
Historically, the USA is the only country that ever cared about exactly where the line is for human spaceflight, the Russians only count orbital astronauts. Now, though, Dave Mackay is Scotland's first astronaut, so it's also become a matter of national pride for me!
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 6:17 PM on July 17, 2021
Historically, the USA is the only country that ever cared about exactly where the line is for human spaceflight, the Russians only count orbital astronauts. Now, though, Dave Mackay is Scotland's first astronaut, so it's also become a matter of national pride for me!
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 6:17 PM on July 17, 2021
The tweet from the Washington director of Climate Solutions upthread is astonishing. Apparently they are an advocate for solutions to climate change until it involves toys for millionaires that dump tons of soot and carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
posted by rdr at 6:20 PM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by rdr at 6:20 PM on July 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Billionaires going to space is just a step along the path to democratic access to space.
Yeah, fuck voting. Democratic access to space is the only meaningful democracy. /s
posted by Bella Donna at 12:26 PM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
Yeah, fuck voting. Democratic access to space is the only meaningful democracy. /s
posted by Bella Donna at 12:26 PM on July 18, 2021 [1 favorite]
They Could End World Hunger But Instead They Race For Space’: 30 Of The Most Honest Reactions To The Billionaire Space Race
posted by theora55 at 5:35 PM on July 18, 2021
posted by theora55 at 5:35 PM on July 18, 2021
Well, that happened.
Bezos pushes us all a step towards an Expanse-ive future in space.
New rule: space plutocrats must actually live on Pluto.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:22 AM on July 20, 2021
Bezos pushes us all a step towards an Expanse-ive future in space.
New rule: space plutocrats must actually live on Pluto.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:22 AM on July 20, 2021
So for those of us who are actively avoiding any news footage of the actual launch to avoid feeling the need to vomit, who wore it best, Branson or Bezos? And by "it" I mean the smug satisfaction of being rich enough to have their own spaceship (for various definitions of space) combined with elements of humble bragging about how this isn't about them but helping humanity.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 7:40 AM on July 20, 2021
posted by inflatablekiwi at 7:40 AM on July 20, 2021
Branson wears anything better than Bezos. Including the cowboy hat.
The capsule is designated RSS
Rich Space Ship?
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:44 AM on July 20, 2021
The capsule is designated RSS
Rich Space Ship?
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:44 AM on July 20, 2021
Okay, you know, I had been just vaguely irritated by this before, but I saw a news picture of them lined up and posing in jumpsuits, like they were astronauts, and suddenly I was furious. NO. NO. DO NOT SHOW ME YOUR FUCKING BILLION DOLLAR COSPLAY I WILL NOT HAVE IT.
I will never be the sort of person who says real space endeavors are a waste of money, but this -- this is the filthiest fucking waste.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:02 AM on July 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
I will never be the sort of person who says real space endeavors are a waste of money, but this -- this is the filthiest fucking waste.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:02 AM on July 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
I quite enjoyed Wally Funk's lukewarm review of the flight (didn't get the view of Earth, not enough room in the capsule) while Bezos gritted his teeth. Legend.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 9:56 AM on July 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 9:56 AM on July 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
An emphatically different view of these billionaires and their space companies.
posted by PhineasGage at 10:56 AM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by PhineasGage at 10:56 AM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
The only part of that take I agree with is that the vertical landing of reusable boosters is the actually impressive thing here.
Ridiculous to think it couldn't have been done as an international or national project, just because it wasn't. And elides the taxpayer contributions.
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:04 AM on July 20, 2021
Ridiculous to think it couldn't have been done as an international or national project, just because it wasn't. And elides the taxpayer contributions.
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:04 AM on July 20, 2021
That's kinda the point: It could have been done, but it wasn't being done.
posted by PhineasGage at 11:16 AM on July 20, 2021
posted by PhineasGage at 11:16 AM on July 20, 2021
I don't know. What's the opportunity cost of the time, money, and expertise spent on these space programs as opposed to something else?
Like, making ultra-light materials for transportation vehicles, or increasing fuel efficiency standards, or making plastic-like materials that can be safely disposed of?
Or even instead of space, what happens if billionaires were interested in deep oceanic exploration?
posted by FJT at 11:21 AM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Like, making ultra-light materials for transportation vehicles, or increasing fuel efficiency standards, or making plastic-like materials that can be safely disposed of?
Or even instead of space, what happens if billionaires were interested in deep oceanic exploration?
posted by FJT at 11:21 AM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Or ending hunger?
Of course all of that is its own minefield, see the Gates foundation.
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:23 AM on July 20, 2021
Of course all of that is its own minefield, see the Gates foundation.
posted by snuffleupagus at 11:23 AM on July 20, 2021
The idea that improving technology as a goal justifies the methods used to reach that end has a fraught history, to say the least, which carries at least as much potential for harm as good.
posted by gusottertrout at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2021
posted by gusottertrout at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2021
Jeff Bezos quote I just saw on CNN (despite trying not to look at coverage).
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:48 AM on July 20, 2021
"I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer, 'cause you guys paid for all this. So seriously, for every Amazon customer out there, and every Amazon employee, thank you from the bottom of my heart, very much. It's very appreciated."Awww, bless his heart for giving us a shoutout (including this Amazon Web services hosted website). Always good to see a rag tag bunch of billionaires make it.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:48 AM on July 20, 2021
That's kinda the point: It could have been done, but it wasn't being done.
What if that had been true of fission? Would it then be cool for plutocrats to the have The Bomb? Not that they couldn't easily weaponize what they're building now if so inclined. Orbital bombardment can be pretty low tech. Satellite killing isn't that hard either.
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:21 PM on July 20, 2021
What if that had been true of fission? Would it then be cool for plutocrats to the have The Bomb? Not that they couldn't easily weaponize what they're building now if so inclined. Orbital bombardment can be pretty low tech. Satellite killing isn't that hard either.
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:21 PM on July 20, 2021
JFC! You rarely see the billioniare class come right out and say :
posted by Mitheral at 12:26 PM on July 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
- Thanks for peeing in all those bottles instead of taking a proper biobreak.
- Thanks for dieing to keep product moving
- Thanks to all those workers who are on food stamps and Medicaid because I pay so poorly and haven't given you full time hours
- Thanks for working for the $11/hr that isn't a living wage where you live
posted by Mitheral at 12:26 PM on July 20, 2021 [3 favorites]
i had not seen the rocket before today... has there ever been a more phallic rocket in the history of rockets? That's ... a penis!
posted by dis_integration at 12:51 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by dis_integration at 12:51 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Reports are emerging that Amazon workers took the opportunity to use the restrooms during Bezos' 10-minute space mission.
posted by zeikka at 1:19 PM on July 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by zeikka at 1:19 PM on July 20, 2021 [4 favorites]
An emphatically different view of these billionaires and their space companies.
But "These are important tech advances in spacefaring" isn't the opposite of "Bezos and Musk are both total scumbag fuckwits."
Which is why I could enjoy half-watching the launch earlier! It was win-win no matter what! If everything goes well, Blue Origin takes another baby step towards having their own real launchers and being competition for spacex! On the other side, watching a rich fuckwit blow himself up in a fit of hubris would also have not been the worst morning.
But also, from that twitter linked earlier:
They've each created original rocket technology that flies humans to space.
Nah. They've hired people who did that, or in the case of Branson bought the relevant pieces of Scaled Composites, who were already doing it.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
But "These are important tech advances in spacefaring" isn't the opposite of "Bezos and Musk are both total scumbag fuckwits."
Which is why I could enjoy half-watching the launch earlier! It was win-win no matter what! If everything goes well, Blue Origin takes another baby step towards having their own real launchers and being competition for spacex! On the other side, watching a rich fuckwit blow himself up in a fit of hubris would also have not been the worst morning.
But also, from that twitter linked earlier:
They've each created original rocket technology that flies humans to space.
Nah. They've hired people who did that, or in the case of Branson bought the relevant pieces of Scaled Composites, who were already doing it.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Billionaires going to space is just a step along the path to democratic access to space
I suspect they will leave so much junk up in near orbit, that access will be for those with the cash to buy onto flights through restricted safe zones.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2021
I suspect they will leave so much junk up in near orbit, that access will be for those with the cash to buy onto flights through restricted safe zones.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2021
...if you want someone to be an engineering hero-maverick with weird and uncomfortable politics, Burt Rutan does a vastly better job of it than Bezos or Musk do.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 1:33 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 1:33 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
And in associated news of the day Jeff Bezos announced he's giving $100m each to Van Jones and chef José Andrés. Bezos reportedly said they were free to do "what they want" with the money. The donations were reportedly a "surprise" philanthropic initiative Bezos wanted to announce called the Courage and Civility Award. Bezo added "We need unifiers and not villifiers. It's easy to be courageous but also mean. Try being courageous and civil. Try being courageous and a unifier. That's harder and way better, and makes the world better."
I mean - I'm cool with Bezos getting a jolly out of charity and donating large chunks to worthy causes - as much as we've discussed philanthropy on this site and how it is often used for non-charitable purposes and tax avoidance, and often is not truly charitable at all. But I'm also cool with us remembering Jeff built a penis rocket and got into a dick waving contest with other billionaires to ride his penis rocket before them (and lost to a non penis shaped space vehicle), and then issued a statement thanking all of us for paying for all that, so kthxbye.
But I feel that may make me a villifier.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:53 PM on July 20, 2021
I mean - I'm cool with Bezos getting a jolly out of charity and donating large chunks to worthy causes - as much as we've discussed philanthropy on this site and how it is often used for non-charitable purposes and tax avoidance, and often is not truly charitable at all. But I'm also cool with us remembering Jeff built a penis rocket and got into a dick waving contest with other billionaires to ride his penis rocket before them (and lost to a non penis shaped space vehicle), and then issued a statement thanking all of us for paying for all that, so kthxbye.
But I feel that may make me a villifier.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:53 PM on July 20, 2021
Um, there was also the part when the introduction of the prize was a thinly veiled bitch session about how poorly he, Jeff Bezos, is treated by the media and the populous.
It is also very important to Jeff that you agree that the non-penis did not achieve a full Space Erection.
posted by snuffleupagus at 2:01 PM on July 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
It is also very important to Jeff that you agree that the non-penis did not achieve a full Space Erection.
posted by snuffleupagus at 2:01 PM on July 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: "rich people are terrible and their wealth should be confiscated."
Also Metafilter: "that rich person gave away $200M to be distributed charitably as two other respected people see fit to use it. But actually that's terrible because reasons."
At least we can all agree about Bezos' space penis.
posted by Nelson at 2:58 PM on July 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Also Metafilter: "that rich person gave away $200M to be distributed charitably as two other respected people see fit to use it. But actually that's terrible because reasons."
At least we can all agree about Bezos' space penis.
posted by Nelson at 2:58 PM on July 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
BuzzFeed's Jeff Bezos Made It To Space But People Can’t Help But Notice The Dick-Shaped Rocket He Rode In On
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:24 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:24 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
It wasn’t terrible, but it would have been a lot better without the ‘fuck the haters, hold my Tang’ energy.
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:25 PM on July 20, 2021
posted by snuffleupagus at 3:25 PM on July 20, 2021
Nelson: " Also Metafilter: "that rich person gave away $200M to be distributed charitably as two other respected people see fit to use it. But actually that's terrible because reasons.""
Reasons: Charity is bad. Rich bozos scamming their employees, murdering smaller businesses, cheating on their taxes and then giving an infinitesimal part of their ill gotten gains to whatever grabs their fancy is bad.
They should be taxed within an inch of their lives and their money should be distributed by a democratic process.
posted by signal at 4:29 PM on July 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Reasons: Charity is bad. Rich bozos scamming their employees, murdering smaller businesses, cheating on their taxes and then giving an infinitesimal part of their ill gotten gains to whatever grabs their fancy is bad.
They should be taxed within an inch of their lives and their money should be distributed by a democratic process.
posted by signal at 4:29 PM on July 20, 2021 [2 favorites]
Jeff Bezos delivered a chicken-and-rice dinner to journalists at the Blue Origin broadcast news site on Monday (Business Insider via Yahoo News, July 20, 2021) Bezos and his brother Mark walked into a press warehouse near the Texas launch site to hand reporters a large tray of arroz con pollo, and said it was his "grandmother's recipe." [...] "Now if you don't like this," Bezos told reporters about the dinner, "just keep it to yourself."
Thread reader link to CNBC's Michael Sheetz video clip of dinner delivery, with recipe card; Sheetz later declared: The chicken is excellent, flavorful and falls off the bone!
This is the most disturbing thing I've read all day, and I was just in the husk-reminiscence thread.
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:45 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
Thread reader link to CNBC's Michael Sheetz video clip of dinner delivery, with recipe card; Sheetz later declared: The chicken is excellent, flavorful and falls off the bone!
This is the most disturbing thing I've read all day, and I was just in the husk-reminiscence thread.
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:45 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
There is a Soylent Green joke somewhere in relation to Bezos giving away food. But the top hit on Amazon for Soylent Green at the moment is a sponsored link to a gluten free protein shake. And really, you can’t be funnier than that.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 7:02 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 7:02 PM on July 20, 2021 [1 favorite]
"I want to thank every Amazon employee and every Amazon customer, 'cause you guys paid for all this. So seriously, for every Amazon customer out there, and every Amazon employee, thank you from the bottom of my heart, very much. It's very appreciated."
Presumably this statement includes Patty Hernandez, who seems to have paid more than her fair share for his trip.
Amazon Denied a Worker Pregnancy Accommodations. Then She Miscarried.
After being denied lighter duty, Hernandez said her manager, who knew she was pregnant, repeatedly asked why she was taking longer bathroom breaks, sitting, and moving slower.
"My manager wasn’t accommodating," Hernandez told Motherboard. "He was on me, asking, 'Why is your rate so low, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom, why is your [time off task] more than ten minutes?' We were only allowed 10 minutes of time off task each day, but the warehouse is so big. It takes six minutes just to get to the bathroom and back."
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:25 AM on July 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
Presumably this statement includes Patty Hernandez, who seems to have paid more than her fair share for his trip.
Amazon Denied a Worker Pregnancy Accommodations. Then She Miscarried.
After being denied lighter duty, Hernandez said her manager, who knew she was pregnant, repeatedly asked why she was taking longer bathroom breaks, sitting, and moving slower.
"My manager wasn’t accommodating," Hernandez told Motherboard. "He was on me, asking, 'Why is your rate so low, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom, why is your [time off task] more than ten minutes?' We were only allowed 10 minutes of time off task each day, but the warehouse is so big. It takes six minutes just to get to the bathroom and back."
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:25 AM on July 21, 2021 [2 favorites]
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posted by Countess Elena at 6:45 PM on July 15, 2021 [59 favorites]