Golf course -> sex forest
July 26, 2021 9:26 AM   Subscribe

[CW: outdoor "Ooo-la-la!"] The campaign to "turn the Hiawatha Golf Course into a public cruising ground and food forest" has a twitter account and online manifesto. The first run of 3,000 stickers is sold out (proceeds); the origin of the yard sign photographs; the signs are starting to be noticed.
posted by Wordshore (24 comments total) 17 users marked this as a favorite


 
Someone I know saw a replica of that sign posted at the Northcote Golf Course in the alternative/gentrifying inner north of Melbourne some weeks ago.
posted by acb at 9:57 AM on July 26 [2 favorites]


No single group will be in charge of the sex forest, but long-standing kink and leather organizations will collaborate with loose crews of anarcha-feminists to ensure everyone’s boundaries are respected and kick out jerks

This seems like an unlikely solution to an unsolvable problem. Sleezoids and predators who imagine that someone's merely being in the woods constitutes consent would inevitably spoil this for everyone else.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:00 AM on July 26 [9 favorites]


There's nothing like starting off Monday with the feeling that you have tumbled down a rabbit hole into an alternate reality. This material is so removed from the actual argument about what should be done with the Hiawatha Golf Course in Minneapolis that I hardly know how to think about it. The most recent (real-life) developments are summarized here. A food forest has been seriously proposed. The sex forest is, as far as I know, a new idea.

I feel like a killjoy for adding this information to this post, but in fact there has been a serious argument going on in Minneapolis about how to manage the course for several years, with implications for both respect for local African American history and environmental sustainability. I think this story might - in its own way - also be interesting to folks.
posted by ALeaflikeStructure at 10:03 AM on July 26 [33 favorites]


This seems like an unlikely solution to an unsolvable problem.

Probably. Though...

long-standing kink and leather organizations will collaborate with loose crews of anarcha-feminists to ensure everyone’s boundaries are respected and kick out jerks.

...could be a solution to MetaFilter's current moderator resource issue.
posted by Wordshore at 10:09 AM on July 26 [13 favorites]


From ALeaflikeStructure's link:
MPRB is currently focused on the water issues at the golf course and is not exploring other uses, according to Commissioner Steffanie Musich. “As we are still researching the groundwater situation at Hiawatha, and what impact existing conditions will have on the course and its use for playing golf, exploring alternate uses for the parkland the course occupies is not underway at the park board,” she said.
Guess potential sex/food forest users will have to wait a bit longer.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:09 AM on July 26 [2 favorites]


There's nothing like starting off Monday with the feeling that you have tumbled down a rabbit hole into an alternate reality.

Object Class: Esoteric/Archon
posted by mhoye at 10:10 AM on July 26 [7 favorites]


La bourgeoisie totally épatered
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 10:15 AM on July 26 [2 favorites]


sex/food forest
Here, guys, really? Right in front of my salad?!
posted by bartleby at 10:21 AM on July 26 [9 favorites]


PAR-AIDE is missing a heck of a marketing opportunity for its Master Ball Washer here. Not to mention its Deluxe Ensemble with Trash Mate Single Unit ("Towels not included"), along with the Edge-Saver ("...designed to freely move up and down the flagstick, further minimizing any damage...").
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:22 AM on July 26 [3 favorites]


A sex forest would be much more exclusive than a public golf course. Just sayin'.
posted by Carmody'sPrize at 10:24 AM on July 26 [2 favorites]


The marketing would have to be adjusted somewhat; the phrase "sex forest" is somewhat ambiguous and may attract those of an intimate #GotWood inclination. This isn't kink-shaming: a cousin who is a park ranger complains regularly about the damage caused to young trees in this manner.
posted by Wordshore at 10:33 AM on July 26


After the switch, will a round still be 18 holes?
posted by paper chromatographologist at 10:41 AM on July 26 [22 favorites]


I wonder if this will be like Sex House?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 10:44 AM on July 26 [2 favorites]


Object Class: Esoteric/Archon

Two rabbit holes in one day seem excessive, so I'm going to try to think of this post as offering me two different ways to broaden my world view.
posted by ALeaflikeStructure at 10:45 AM on July 26 [1 favorite]


@paper chromatographologist.. a disgraceful comment and I enjoyed it immensely
posted by elkevelvet at 10:45 AM on July 26 [3 favorites]


A sex forest would be much more exclusive than a public golf course. Just sayin'.

Disagree. More people are both interested in, and can afford to have sex than there are golfers.
posted by explosion at 11:27 AM on July 26 [7 favorites]


I like golf. Golf can be fun. But golf courses themselves are really wasteful in terms of water and space usage.

What concerns me, mostly, as a South Mpls resident, is that closing Hiawatha course and letting it flood again would end up putting overflow water into Lake Nokomis, which is currently just above creek level thanks to Hiawatha pumping and a small dam at the intersection of lake and creek. Nokomis is already prone to flooding over the banks during heavy rains. I mean it's great for the marshes at the lake borders, but not so great for the running trails, which are occasionally flooded.

There are people worried about their basements flooding too. I'm far enough away not to have to worry on that end. I mean, unless I am totally mistaken, Hiawatha used to be named Rice Lake, because the marshy shallow lake was a great place to grow wild rice. Would it be so bad if some of that former marshland was restored? The south end of Nokomis is marshy, and it's one of my favorite places to walk - lots of birds, the occasional fox...
posted by caution live frogs at 11:51 AM on July 26 [10 favorites]


Pls adopt this as theme song, thx
posted by aws17576 at 12:50 PM on July 26 [1 favorite]


"Two rabbit holes in one day seem excessive..." posted by ALeaflikeStructure

This is the finest distillate of eponysteria I have seen in quite some time. I'm savouring over here, it like a sweet liqueur.
posted by mhoye at 12:59 PM on July 26 [2 favorites]


There’s a very ritzy neighborhood near me where for whatever reason the golf course kept losing money, going bankrupt, changing owners, and last I heard has been basically abandoned except for the bare minimum upkeep to keep it from returning to wilderness. I wonder where I can get some of those signs/stickers? I’m sure this Bible Belt town would get right on board!
posted by TedW at 2:51 PM on July 26 [4 favorites]


No offense to aws but this would be the ideal theme song.
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 3:15 PM on July 26


Thanks for bringing this campaign to my attention! There is a house up the block from me that looks abandoned but inexplicably has multiple “Save Hiawatha Golf Course” lawn signs. If I lived within view I would seriously consider dueling yard signs. But I think a sex forest sign would last approximately 12 hours before the local teenagers made off with it in the night.

That said, I feel like the Park Board’s decision to kick the can even further down the road and just hope that the DNR just lets then pump water into perpetuity is right in line with the rest of Minneapolis city government’s decisions to prop up the status quo.
posted by Maarika at 4:44 PM on July 26 [2 favorites]


Laughing out loud

Don't understand
posted by firstdaffodils at 6:18 PM on July 26 [2 favorites]


Here, guys, really? Right in front of my salad?!

Look, do you want this tossed or what?

PS don't order the wedge salad.
posted by loquacious at 5:01 AM on July 27 [4 favorites]


« Older "this was like discovering DNA"   |   The building blocks of the zero-carbon... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments