What's a conspiracy theory that you 1,000% believe in?
August 12, 2021 3:59 PM   Subscribe

TikTok user Akintoye has a message about vaccines. (Single-link TikTok video; also available on Twitter.)
posted by escape from the potato planet (37 comments total) 61 users marked this as a favorite
 
Delightful!
posted by schroedinger at 4:11 PM on August 12


Lovely
posted by supermedusa at 4:24 PM on August 12


Love it.
posted by humbug at 4:44 PM on August 12


"you ain't important enough to get a microchip, dawg"

WIN
posted by SystematicAbuse at 4:49 PM on August 12 [59 favorites]


Love this, and will be muttering this phrase under my breath for a while, I think.
posted by Lexica at 4:55 PM on August 12 [3 favorites]


The concept has merit. Plus high low production values -- truly a work of minimalist art.
posted by y2karl at 4:58 PM on August 12


I want this to chart so hard.
posted by furnace.heart at 6:03 PM on August 12 [4 favorites]


Belongs I the pantheon along with "Shut the fuck up and put on your mask."
posted by ocschwar at 6:13 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]


This is a bop.
posted by rednikki at 6:27 PM on August 12 [5 favorites]


I got vaccinated as soon as I possibly could. I did not know a single anti-vax person in my inner circle. I'm in Deep Blue Chicago, working in a Deepest-Blue-type independent business full of creative, intelligent, artistic types, a strong LGBTQ representation, etc. We take masks and Covid very seriously. We share a small lunch room, and I overheard an open conversation a couple months ago among some 20-something women about how they were possibly not getting vaccinated for Covid due to potential fertility issues down the road. I was not part of this conversation, but they were speaking out loud about it and I couldn't help but hear what they were saying.

Vaccine fears and anti-vax attitudes are all around us, I'm afraid.

Excellent link!
posted by SoberHighland at 6:34 PM on August 12 [3 favorites]


This is a fucking banger.
posted by gauche at 6:54 PM on August 12 [11 favorites]


The internal rhyme and assonance was a lovely fillip! Can anyone recommend any other works by Akintoye?
posted by brainwane at 6:57 PM on August 12 [4 favorites]


Being so old, I fart dust, I needed slower speech or longer hanging around subtitles, but yes, now we have a succinct response to all the idiocy around us. Thanks!
posted by njohnson23 at 7:11 PM on August 12 [3 favorites]


This is my new jam!
posted by icaicaer at 7:37 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]


"you ain't important enough to get a microchip, dawg"

I know a spy who says of this theory, "How many spies do they think we have that we're able to monitor 300M people? Microchipping everyone is as useless as microchipping no one."
posted by dobbs at 7:51 PM on August 12 [13 favorites]


My girlfriend has spent two full days alone in the hospital due to Republican death cult actual War/ culture War bullshit. Fuck them so fucking much. I cannot express how much I loathe their entire mentality.
posted by Jacen at 9:29 PM on August 12 [20 favorites]


Love, love, LOVE this!
posted by WalkerWestridge at 9:31 PM on August 12


We tryna live
<3
posted by soakimbo at 9:39 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]


his latest single
posted by piyushnz at 10:00 PM on August 12 [8 favorites]


Wow I love the sound of this so much and keep coming back to listen again. If I like him (both his rhymes + his voice), what else will I like?
posted by chaiyai at 11:46 PM on August 12 [1 favorite]


It's brilliant, I have already shared it, but at first I honestly thought he said, "you ain't important enough to get a microchipped dog". Thanks to dobbs for posting the correct line.
posted by obol at 12:31 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]


they were possibly not getting vaccinated for Covid due to potential fertility issues down the road.

I met someone recently who expressed this concern.

She's in her 70s.

It's utterly irrational, and utterly infuriating, and utterly impossible for me to extend grace to these people. I try so hard to be polite and non-shaming, because of course shaming doesn't actually work to induce behavior change, but it is killing me/us. (Quite literally, in some cases.)

Which is why this TikTok is the most honest response. This is what I want to be able to say to all the unvaxxed people I interact with.
posted by basalganglia at 12:42 AM on August 13 [8 favorites]



The internal rhyme and assonance was a lovely fillip! Can anyone recommend any other works by Akintoye?


He originally blew up on Tiktok for this amazing video
posted by zymil at 12:43 AM on August 13 [13 favorites]


I have to double post because I just remembered he also wrote this amazing piece about male privilege
posted by zymil at 12:56 AM on August 13 [25 favorites]


I just love his pout :-)
posted by M. at 3:52 AM on August 13


This is great!

I made the mistake of listening to a recent NPR feature profiling US citizens who have chosen not to get vaccinated. I turned it off after 5 minutes of listening to a single parent father (w/a 7 year old) protesting about being labeled a kook or anti-vaxxer, because the main reason he hadn't received it was "he wasn't an early adopter of anything" and just wanted to "wait and see" how people were reacting to it, oh yes and that he "doesn't go anywhere anyway".

😑
posted by jeremias at 4:30 AM on August 13 [4 favorites]


I'm just gonna drop this Beaverton article right here.
posted by suetanvil at 6:00 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]


The artist has some music on Spotify in addition to TikTok.
posted by Karmakaze at 7:00 AM on August 13 [2 favorites]




Well, Jeremias, when he called himself a fiscal conservative, I knew he was a damn fool. Who even says that anymore? I felt so concerned for his daughter. She needs a Dad who keeps himself safe to keep her safe. If you kept listening you would’ve heard a woman holding back tears as she described how her family killed their grandmother by giving her Covid by refusing to get vaccinated and having gatherings. She was still anti-vax. And then there was an interesting woman who eschewed all vaccines after having a bad reaction as a child but allowed for her teen son to make his own choice if he felt the peer pressure at school due to being the only kid with a mask on. But she couldn’t even bring herself to say the word ‘vaccine’ when talking about her son potentially choosing to get it. Fear and anger are potent emotions. They’ve been effectively weaponized.
posted by amanda at 7:28 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]


Catchy! Good post!

I just heard through the family grapevine that my cousin's adult daughter, who is a nurse in Florida, has covid. She was unvaccinated because of "fertility issues" that could arise. Her roommate, is a nurse, who is also unvaccinated. She doesn't have symptoms but is still working. The hospital where my cousin's daughter worked told her "you can come back in 10 days if you have no symptoms". No testing required. Doesn't sound like contact tracing matters regardless of occupation.

All this to say: WTF Florida? If you close your eyes do your problems go away?
posted by zerobyproxy at 8:05 AM on August 13 [4 favorites]


I know a spy who says of this theory, "How many spies do they think we have that we're able to monitor 300M people? Microchipping everyone is as useless as microchipping no one."

The "we already carry cellphones" argument is a lot more compelling than this one.

You don't need to actively track people. It's enough to have people passively tracked so that there's a trail to examine when it's decided they're someone of interest.
posted by explosion at 8:13 AM on August 13 [10 favorites]


This is great fun. Thanks!

(answering the question in the title, with minor reservations about percentages that exceed 100, the Iran-Contra scandal is pretty high on my list. Not the most well documented or the one with the least consequences for those involved. But, far in the corner of that 2D plane.)
posted by eotvos at 8:24 AM on August 13 [2 favorites]


It's enough to have people passively tracked so that there's a trail to examine when it's decided they're someone of interest.

...or you can apply machine learning to find "suspicious" individuals among the 300 million.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 9:31 AM on August 13 [3 favorites]


She was unvaccinated because of "fertility issues" that could arise.

Flood the zone with enough shit and eventually everyone will have a log to hang their hat on. I get why we don't want to turn it into a shooting war and how that risk keeps some people from being willing to acknowledge what is happening, but I'd really appreciate it if troll farms financed by certain foreign governments would stop giving the death cult ideas and amplifying their bullshit.
posted by wierdo at 11:45 AM on August 13 [2 favorites]


I know a spy who says of this theory, "How many spies do they think we have that we're able to monitor 300M people? Microchipping everyone is as useless as microchipping no one."

Meanwhile, at Google....
posted by pwnguin at 1:06 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]


SO GOOD! Not just fun and catchy but really really GOOD! Thanks for sharing!
posted by obfuscation at 4:08 PM on August 13


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