From Shitterton to Bell End, via Titty Ho
August 16, 2021 11:54 AM   Subscribe

In memory of a friend, Paul Taylor is doing a slow (28mph maximum) charity road trip. He will start in Shitterton (“Please stop stealing our sign”)(“Us too!”), which lies in the Piddle Valley, and journey to Twatt, Cockpole Green, The Knob, Great Tosson, Butthole Lane, and other places. It's not clear if he will enjoy Cock Alley, journey over Cock Bridge or Ass Hill, or encounter Great Coxwell; alas, Y Farteg is not en-route, though Nempnett Thrubwell is possible. This is not unique; previously, two brothers visited Wetwang, Rimswell, Lickfold, Feltwell, Fanny Hands Lane, and other places. Related: “It's a pathetic obsession really”, says man who visited Wank Mountain, but no comment from the resident of 4 Kinnell Street. Random: Lower Swell is by the River Dikler.
posted by Wordshore (42 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite
 
(reads post, thinks, 'who could have...' skips to posted by, 'ah yes, hm, of course.')

This looks like good, clean fun.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:06 PM on August 16, 2021 [4 favorites]


Balls Creek would hardly raise an eyebrow in this company, but if you introduce yourself as Wayne Hiscock from Balls Creek, I dunno.. there's an arresting poetry there.

true story
posted by elkevelvet at 12:07 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


Only in Pennsylvania can you start out in Blue Ball, then go to Bird-In-Hand, Intercourse, and Paradise in the same trip.

There's also a Climax, PA, but it's nowhere near those other four.
posted by SansPoint at 12:10 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


The old London Underground joke:

"Is this Cockfosters?"

"No, it's mine..."
posted by chavenet at 12:15 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


There's also a Climax, PA

If it's any help, unlike Climax and Intercourse in central PA, in western PA, Dormont in Pittsburgh, there is a Climax Street, the steepest street in steep-streeted Pittsburgh, (where the down-sloping grade is not even visible until you've already made the turn onto it).
posted by StickyCarpet at 12:21 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


Another old joke...
Q: Which football teams have obscenities in their names?
A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe, and Manchester Fucking United.
posted by doubtfulpalace at 12:22 PM on August 16, 2021 [19 favorites]


Did you know The Gherkin, the most phallic building in all of London, falls at the feet of Undershaft Street?
posted by GamblingBlues at 12:32 PM on August 16, 2021 [5 favorites]


No love for Shatton? There's a Shatton Moor nearby....
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:38 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


No surviving examples of the old classic, although the article does note that "Petticoat Lane, the meaning of which is sometimes misinterpreted as related to prostitution, was in 1830 renamed as Middlesex [phwoar!] Street, following complaints about the street being named after an item of underwear."
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:38 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


Bellenden Gardens is the perfect place to visit on this trip.

There’s a place somewhere in the Scottish highlands which I forget the name off. But the locals started noticing people stopping for photos at the sign for the place. Seems the name means translates as oral sex in an Eastern European language. Can’t for the life of me remember what it is though.

On holiday in Orkney I was disappointed to discover that the sign for Twatt has been removed due to folk nicking it.
posted by gnuhavenpier at 12:47 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


If you're this far through the thread [whoop fnarr], you may enjoy Chapter 7 Carto Erotica in Map Addict by Mike Parker (2009). This includes a search for the old classic and it's various bowdlerisations - Grape Lane etc. But also a riff on the British Board of Film Censors "Mull of Kintyre" [map] rule for the allowable angle of the dangle for male genitalia.

And I rather like Bill Bryson's thoughts on The Grand Tetons [excerpt from Lost Continent]
posted by BobTheScientist at 1:07 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


In related news, the residents of Fucking, Austria, recently agreed to give up replacing the sign and just renamed the town Fugging.
posted by briank at 1:08 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


Big Bone Lick State Park in Kentucky would like to invite Mr Taylor to visit.
posted by pjsky at 1:23 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


Yeah like that's gonna fugging help...
posted by PhineasGage at 1:24 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


In related news, the residents of Fucking, Austria, recently agreed to give up replacing the sign and just renamed the town Fugging

And so, the grand tour of the German-speaking lands that starts in Kissing, travels through Petting and proceeds to the Berlin suburb of Wedding shall forever remain unconsummated.
posted by acb at 1:32 PM on August 16, 2021 [7 favorites]


No mention of the villages of Piddletrenthide, Piddlehinton, Puddletown, Tolpuddle, Affpuddle, Briantspuddle and Turnerspuddle in the valley of the lovely River Piddle? The explanation I was given as a child is that the River Piddle is a very small river.

Also, talking of stolen signs, the village of Morcombelake, near where I went to school, had a bakery producing Dorset Knob biscuits, with a sign at the entrance to the village reading "Welcome to the home of the famous Dorset Knob". Every boy in my sixth-form class had one of these signs on their bedroom door. The bakery finally gave up replacing the signs, and have since moved to Bridport. The biscuits themselves are small, spherical and very, very hard, but you can still buy them if you like that sort of thing.
posted by Fuchsoid at 1:44 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


Hell, Michigan.
posted by clavdivs at 1:46 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


There's apparently a town in Poland named Hel; a while ago, some religious types were upset that the bus route going to it was numbered 666.
posted by acb at 1:48 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


Got to hand it to the Brits: they know how to pack 'em tight.
posted by ardgedee at 1:49 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


“It's a pathetic obsession really”, says man who visited Wank Mountain,

Hey, we’ve all been fourteen years old.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:55 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


Toad Suck, anyone?
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:11 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


Practically every Medieval city in England has at least one extremely rude street name, or at least one derived from one.
posted by parm at 2:37 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


Balls Creek would hardly raise an eyebrow in this company

Is this the tributary that feeds Ball's Falls?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:41 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


Kiester, Minnesota was featured in a commercial for Preparation H a couple of years ago. (Content warning: Minnesota accent)
posted by gimonca at 3:03 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


Not quite the same innuendo, but every time I'm driving through eastern Montana I see the signs for Bad Route Road and think "who the heck goes that way?"
posted by traveler_ at 3:41 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


I was searching for the London street name park has already noted and happened across Cunny Lake in Texas.
posted by biffa at 4:15 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


I was discussing the silliness of English place names with some (Canadian) co-workers, and came up with the theory that any random zoom into the UK in google maps, you can find at least 2 either suggestive, or at least ludicrous sounding, place names. I spent a good hour or so trying to falsify this hypothesis, and decided it was probably pretty accurate after that.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:24 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


no comment from the resident of 4 Kinnell Street

This one doesn't work nearly as well in my own accent.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:46 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


And so, the grand tour of the German-speaking lands that starts in Kissing, travels through Petting and proceeds to the Berlin suburb of Wedding shall forever remain unconsummated.

Blame the Horní Police.
posted by babelfish at 6:02 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


Tangentially, Shilbottle.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 7:17 PM on August 16, 2021 [2 favorites]


Is Upper Dicker on the list? Went to a wedding near there once. Also a sibling of mine lived in Pity Me for a time.
posted by hrpomrx at 8:40 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


Amateurs. You know that website what3words….the one that has mapped all locations in the world to three words….well someone did the obvious for all of the UK and Ireland. May I present FourKingMaps, which maps all of the UK and Ireland in 3x3m square chunks using swear/crude words.

Want to remember where the statue of Winston Churchill is in Parliament Square? Easy - it’s at noob.pisswizard.honkers.wankface. Front door to 10 Downing Street? Oh that’s at wtf.fubar.rubberjohnny.poxy. And if you want to go to Ireland and kiss the Blarney Stone, just remember it’s at arsebutter.shithouse.fingering.asshole

Honestly was going to do a front page on it, but couldn’t see it going any other way than a deletion given the examples above are *very very mild* compared to other locations.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 10:47 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


Also Algeria has two Tit’s.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 10:59 PM on August 16, 2021 [1 favorite]


May I present FourKingMaps, which maps all of the UK and Ireland in 3x3m square chunks using swear/crude words.

I am loving this; like Ordnance Survey was taken over by Viz Comic.
posted by Wordshore at 11:43 PM on August 16, 2021 [3 favorites]


A small village near where I grew up is called Shuttington - but it used to be called Shittington.

The "shit" part of its name is from old English "Scytta" for "shooters" and refers to archers - "Archer's Farm" or "Archer's Village"
posted by BinaryApe at 12:36 AM on August 17, 2021 [2 favorites]


There is a handy map to buy of all the UK silly and rude names. We really do have a lot.
posted by dowcrag at 1:52 AM on August 17, 2021 [2 favorites]


I have always enjoyed seeing the overpass marked Fangboner Road when driving across northern Ohio.
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 10:06 AM on August 17, 2021 [1 favorite]


Amateurs. You know that website what3words….the one that has mapped all locations in the world to three words

Oh my god THIS explains what Foxes Afloat are doing when they put those words up on the screen! I thought it was for some weird contest they were running.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:23 PM on August 17, 2021 [2 favorites]


The old London Underground joke:

"Is this Cockfosters?"


About a decade ago, some friends and I vacationed in the UK. We took a red eye straight after our board exams and landed in the early hours of a Friday morning, jetlagged and exhausted. To all the commuters who had to endure a group of Dumb Americans dissolving into a fit of giggles at each stop on the Piccadilly Line train from Heathrow: I'm sorry.

(But y'all really do have strange place names. Took me years to realize Milton Keynes was a place not a person.)
posted by basalganglia at 7:13 PM on August 17, 2021 [1 favorite]


Milton Keynes isn't even trying. Have you met Mavis Enderby?
posted by How much is that froggie in the window at 2:17 AM on August 18, 2021 [1 favorite]


Who hasn't heard "Milton Keynes" and wondered if lauding an economist with his own town isn't a tad excessive?
posted by From Bklyn at 3:33 AM on August 18, 2021 [1 favorite]


"Is this Cockfosters?"

See also my favorite stop on the DLR: Mudchute.

Hee hee hee Mudchute
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 5:27 AM on August 18, 2021 [1 favorite]


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