“Soon, you can log in to MetaFilter using your analprint”
September 23, 2021 11:06 AM Subscribe
The Verge: “The idea for an analprint was sparked by Salvador Dalí, who discovered that 'the anus has 35 or 37 creases, which are as unique as fingerprints'” Real clear science: “A team of researchers primarily based out of Stanford University has engineered a proof-of-concept smart toilet module designed to monitor a user's health based on their urine and stools.” Business Insider: “We know it seems weird, but as it turns out, your anal print is unique...” Mashable: “The so-called Precision Health Toilet is equipped with four cameras: the stool camera, anus camera, and two uroflow cameras.” Boing Boing: “Oh, and apparently one's 'analprint' is scannable and unique” (n.b. it is unclear whether it is 'analprint' or 'anal print')
Where I work we've been having an intermittent, but recurring, problem with people stuffing non-flushable things down the toilets, prompting (at last count) three separate emergency plumber calls to un-clog the resulting clogs. I support the COO, who is in charge of paying for these plumbers.
....I am very, very tempted to send this article to him as a tongue-in-cheek suggestion about "how we can finally find out who keeps clogging the loo's."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on September 23, 2021 [16 favorites]
....I am very, very tempted to send this article to him as a tongue-in-cheek suggestion about "how we can finally find out who keeps clogging the loo's."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:14 AM on September 23, 2021 [16 favorites]
Discussing this with a colleague, who considered: “Oh, and apparently one's 'analprint' is scannable and unique”, and remarked that "Uh it's like everyone has their own QR buttcode."
Personally, am hoping that David Cronenberg will see this and suddenly start to sketch out the plot for the sequel to his 1999 movie eXistenZ.
posted by Wordshore at 11:19 AM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
Personally, am hoping that David Cronenberg will see this and suddenly start to sketch out the plot for the sequel to his 1999 movie eXistenZ.
posted by Wordshore at 11:19 AM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
(Also wondering if the teccies who work at Tinder may soon get an unusual "new feature" inclusion instruction from management)
posted by Wordshore at 11:21 AM on September 23, 2021
posted by Wordshore at 11:21 AM on September 23, 2021
How did I know this was gonna be a Wordshore post before I even got to the byline? xD
posted by lazaruslong at 11:22 AM on September 23, 2021 [15 favorites]
posted by lazaruslong at 11:22 AM on September 23, 2021 [15 favorites]
I find this all rather disturbing. Why is it "analprint" and not "anusprint"?
posted by Umami Dearest at 11:25 AM on September 23, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by Umami Dearest at 11:25 AM on September 23, 2021 [14 favorites]
"anusprint" sounds like a poorly chosen URL for a running lifestyle blog from the early 2000s.
posted by biogeo at 11:28 AM on September 23, 2021 [34 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 11:28 AM on September 23, 2021 [34 favorites]
You mean you guys aren't already logging into Metafilter with your analprint? How else do you get it to make the "*******" in the password field?
posted by biogeo at 11:30 AM on September 23, 2021 [64 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 11:30 AM on September 23, 2021 [64 favorites]
You know that the first application will be employers tallying up employees' excretory habits to see who's pooping on the company's dime.
The second one will be insurance companies getting your health data to deny you coverage.
posted by sukeban at 11:30 AM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
The second one will be insurance companies getting your health data to deny you coverage.
posted by sukeban at 11:30 AM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
I have no idea how this anus got wedged into this scanner, or why
posted by Beardman at 11:38 AM on September 23, 2021 [22 favorites]
posted by Beardman at 11:38 AM on September 23, 2021 [22 favorites]
Jokes aside for years now there's been efforts to have smart toilets analyze excrement. I know products exist but I'm not aware of any research that says they've really been helpful.
I'd think it'd be easier with urine; it's already dissolved in water and there's a bunch of things you could test for easily. (Sugar, for starters.) Poop's good too but a little grosser and harder to analyze.
posted by Nelson at 11:41 AM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
I'd think it'd be easier with urine; it's already dissolved in water and there's a bunch of things you could test for easily. (Sugar, for starters.) Poop's good too but a little grosser and harder to analyze.
posted by Nelson at 11:41 AM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
No no no anus not for log in, anus for log out
posted by phooky at 11:42 AM on September 23, 2021 [55 favorites]
posted by phooky at 11:42 AM on September 23, 2021 [55 favorites]
But I've been using my analprint to log in to MetaFilter for years...
Wait, what URL was I using?
posted by AlSweigart at 11:45 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Wait, what URL was I using?
posted by AlSweigart at 11:45 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
The so-called Precision Health Toilet is equipped with four cameras: the stool camera, anus camera, and two uroflow cameras
And given how secure the Internet of Things is, I am sure said device, or the cloud service it reports to, will in no way be compromised at any point in the future....and pictures of your undercarriage won't end up posted everywhere...
Also the Mashable links shows it has a fingerprint scanner - which suspiciously undercuts the idea that the anus scan only will identify you (but maybe I guess for identification of people standing to pee?). Of course its put into the flush handle so I guess they are SOL if the person decides not to do that.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:46 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
And given how secure the Internet of Things is, I am sure said device, or the cloud service it reports to, will in no way be compromised at any point in the future....and pictures of your undercarriage won't end up posted everywhere...
Also the Mashable links shows it has a fingerprint scanner - which suspiciously undercuts the idea that the anus scan only will identify you (but maybe I guess for identification of people standing to pee?). Of course its put into the flush handle so I guess they are SOL if the person decides not to do that.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:46 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
"anusprint" sounds like a poorly chosen URL for a running lifestyle blog from the early 2000s.
Close... but no cigar...
It comes from the agile project management methodology...
a "nu" sprint
Much like just like getting a license plate for a new start... "anustart"
posted by rozcakj at 11:47 AM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
Close... but no cigar...
It comes from the agile project management methodology...
a "nu" sprint
Much like just like getting a license plate for a new start... "anustart"
posted by rozcakj at 11:47 AM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
Are you living your best life or the opposite when you've seen enough buttholes to note how many creases they have, and that no two are alike? And as an elder i wonder is my current butthole the same one i had when i was, say, 16?
posted by maxwelton at 11:47 AM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by maxwelton at 11:47 AM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
I am turning in my tech card when I have to login to push a log out.
posted by AugustWest at 11:49 AM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by AugustWest at 11:49 AM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
From the Mashable link "the toilet enables longitudinal monitoring of human health with minimal interference of human behavior."
I think I have a different definition for minimal interference.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:50 AM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
I think I have a different definition for minimal interference.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 11:50 AM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
The first time as a bad joke, the second time as surveillance technology.
posted by Termite at 11:51 AM on September 23, 2021 [11 favorites]
posted by Termite at 11:51 AM on September 23, 2021 [11 favorites]
So if you get a hemorrhoid, is this going to stop working? Sounds like a real pain in the ass.
posted by biogeo at 11:56 AM on September 23, 2021 [13 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 11:56 AM on September 23, 2021 [13 favorites]
I will in my arse.
posted by night_train at 11:57 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by night_train at 11:57 AM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Butts of the Web.
posted by chavenet at 12:00 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 12:00 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
"anusprint" sounds like a poorly chosen URL for a running lifestyle blog from the early 2000s.
"anusprintf" was not a popular C string formatting proposal
posted by BungaDunga at 12:02 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
"anusprintf" was not a popular C string formatting proposal
posted by BungaDunga at 12:02 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
Jokes aside for years now there's been efforts to have smart toilets analyze excrement. I know products exist but I'm not aware of any research that says they've really been helpful.
In similar seriousness - honestly, I'd love to give one a go, because it would save me a minor headache that I've had for nearly a year now.
For a year now I've needed to do a colon cancer screening. My doctor reached out to me when I turned 50 last year, and offered me the choice of either doing that in her office, or doing an "at-home" screen, where I would get a sample and send it to a lab, which she said would be "easier" and less invasive. I immediately opted for the at-home screen.
A couple weeks later, I was sent the kit to collect said sample - and "easier" is a misnomer. Here are the steps I would have to undertake:
1. Prior to moving one's bowels, one covers the opening of the bowl with a sheet of plastic.
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
3. Then one immediately stands up, turns around and catches the plastic so that the weight of one's stool does not pull it down into the bowl.
4. Then one sets the plastic with the resultant....sample to one side to finish attending to one's business at hand.
5. Finally, one swabs the resultant sample with a tool, inserts that tool into a test tube and sticks it in the special "biohazard" envelope for mailing to the lab, and then flushes away the rest.
As it turns out, about 3 days after getting the kit I broke my knee, and that let me call my doctor and say that I was therefore barely coordinated enough to go to the toilet normally, let alone try to go through the acrobatics I'd have to undergo to get that sample. We've thus tabled my screening "until you're more mobile". But in truth, I don't think I would ever be mobile enough for that; I was already contemplating the alternate idea of "maybe if I got a super clean bucket and pooed into that, and then moved to the toilet for the rest of it?"
So a smart toilet that could do all that for me would be an absolute damn boon.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:07 PM on September 23, 2021 [13 favorites]
In similar seriousness - honestly, I'd love to give one a go, because it would save me a minor headache that I've had for nearly a year now.
For a year now I've needed to do a colon cancer screening. My doctor reached out to me when I turned 50 last year, and offered me the choice of either doing that in her office, or doing an "at-home" screen, where I would get a sample and send it to a lab, which she said would be "easier" and less invasive. I immediately opted for the at-home screen.
A couple weeks later, I was sent the kit to collect said sample - and "easier" is a misnomer. Here are the steps I would have to undertake:
1. Prior to moving one's bowels, one covers the opening of the bowl with a sheet of plastic.
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
3. Then one immediately stands up, turns around and catches the plastic so that the weight of one's stool does not pull it down into the bowl.
4. Then one sets the plastic with the resultant....sample to one side to finish attending to one's business at hand.
5. Finally, one swabs the resultant sample with a tool, inserts that tool into a test tube and sticks it in the special "biohazard" envelope for mailing to the lab, and then flushes away the rest.
As it turns out, about 3 days after getting the kit I broke my knee, and that let me call my doctor and say that I was therefore barely coordinated enough to go to the toilet normally, let alone try to go through the acrobatics I'd have to undergo to get that sample. We've thus tabled my screening "until you're more mobile". But in truth, I don't think I would ever be mobile enough for that; I was already contemplating the alternate idea of "maybe if I got a super clean bucket and pooed into that, and then moved to the toilet for the rest of it?"
So a smart toilet that could do all that for me would be an absolute damn boon.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:07 PM on September 23, 2021 [13 favorites]
Yes, ha-ha, butts and poop and cameras.
Automated stool analysis is something that a lot of medical/healthcare technology companies have been trying to do for most of my career. The AI part of this is just the latest spin on it. . Cameras are somewhat new in these kinds of proposals. Historically it has been more about using sensors to detect blood or specific chemical markers that can point to medical problems. There are a lot of health markers that can be read from waste and having an aftermarket attachment that was reliable is a big deal. It could clue you (or your healthcare provider) into possible problems much earlier as well as allow for more dignity and independence for people that require more dedicated care
There are also a number of other things that a "smart" toilet could do unrelated to stool analysis that are helpful for healthcare. For example: temperature readings, body weight, frequency of use, and so on.
The really big place you are going to see things like this is in elder care, especially with more forward-thinking organizations. Tools like this can allow (the more affluent, currently) their independence for longer as their health declines. Even something as simple as a flush detector can inform a care provider (or family) that the toilet hasn't been flushed yet that day and trigger a wellness check.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 12:10 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
Automated stool analysis is something that a lot of medical/healthcare technology companies have been trying to do for most of my career. The AI part of this is just the latest spin on it. . Cameras are somewhat new in these kinds of proposals. Historically it has been more about using sensors to detect blood or specific chemical markers that can point to medical problems. There are a lot of health markers that can be read from waste and having an aftermarket attachment that was reliable is a big deal. It could clue you (or your healthcare provider) into possible problems much earlier as well as allow for more dignity and independence for people that require more dedicated care
There are also a number of other things that a "smart" toilet could do unrelated to stool analysis that are helpful for healthcare. For example: temperature readings, body weight, frequency of use, and so on.
The really big place you are going to see things like this is in elder care, especially with more forward-thinking organizations. Tools like this can allow (the more affluent, currently) their independence for longer as their health declines. Even something as simple as a flush detector can inform a care provider (or family) that the toilet hasn't been flushed yet that day and trigger a wellness check.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 12:10 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
Obligatory heehee poopoo: if you could log into websites with it, it would be Number Two Factor Authentication.
Automating stool analysis to make it easier and more routine would be a lot of good; the topic reminds me of when "fecal transplants" (for medical application of microbiome effects) first started getting pop-sci news articles. The jokes obviously write themselves (see up above ('see up above' should not be taken as attempting to do a handstand at time of collection)) and there'll be some unfortunate inertial resistance because of Ew Poop instincts, but may lead to some positive outcomes.
posted by Drastic at 12:19 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
Automating stool analysis to make it easier and more routine would be a lot of good; the topic reminds me of when "fecal transplants" (for medical application of microbiome effects) first started getting pop-sci news articles. The jokes obviously write themselves (see up above ('see up above' should not be taken as attempting to do a handstand at time of collection)) and there'll be some unfortunate inertial resistance because of Ew Poop instincts, but may lead to some positive outcomes.
posted by Drastic at 12:19 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
I look forward to the eventual Netflix documentary about the Theranus CEO.
posted by emelenjr at 12:19 PM on September 23, 2021 [10 favorites]
posted by emelenjr at 12:19 PM on September 23, 2021 [10 favorites]
So, can you identify cats this way? And can you simply scan them?
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 12:20 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 12:20 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
thread's missing the smartpipe tag
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:23 PM on September 23, 2021
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:23 PM on September 23, 2021
Tired OpSec: putting a pebble in your shoe to foil gait recognition.
Wired OpSec: tattooing your taint with Dazzle camouflage.
posted by bartleby at 12:25 PM on September 23, 2021 [23 favorites]
Wired OpSec: tattooing your taint with Dazzle camouflage.
posted by bartleby at 12:25 PM on September 23, 2021 [23 favorites]
Retired: Keistering your contraband.
posted by zerobyproxy at 12:26 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by zerobyproxy at 12:26 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Potential euhpemisms, go
ringprint
bungscan
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:28 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
ringprint
bungscan
posted by snuffleupagus at 12:28 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
analogin
posted by the antecedent of that pronoun at 12:30 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by the antecedent of that pronoun at 12:30 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
My. Voice. Is my. Assport? Verify."
posted by Drastic at 12:36 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Drastic at 12:36 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
Scanning the browneye retina
posted by nickmark at 12:37 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by nickmark at 12:37 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
I am very, very tempted to send this article to him as a tongue-in-cheek
I see what you did there.
posted by briank at 12:37 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
I see what you did there.
posted by briank at 12:37 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
I saw an exhibit on late Dali, that toured about 10 years ago. It had a gallery with a lot of interesting and off-beat stuff he had done, a lot of it to promote himself, but this, sadly, was not included.
posted by thelonius at 12:39 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by thelonius at 12:39 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Just wait til you get verified on Twattr!
posted by bartleby at 12:44 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by bartleby at 12:44 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
followed the verge link through blog post to source of dali claim. which, fortunately, answered my question about what i should do to get the print now that i've spread ink on the thing.... though he used clay. content warning: dali and nakedness.
posted by 20 year lurk at 12:44 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by 20 year lurk at 12:44 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
I find this all rather disturbing. Why is it "analprint" and not "anusprint"?
I'm surprised they didn't go with "anal fingerprint".
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:48 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
I'm surprised they didn't go with "anal fingerprint".
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:48 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
A team of researchers primarily based out of Stanford University has engineered a proof-of-concept smart toilet module designed to monitor a user's health based on their urine and stools
Did the IRB require anal bleaching to anonymize data collection?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:52 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
Did the IRB require anal bleaching to anonymize data collection?
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:52 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
1. Prior to moving one's bowels, one covers the opening of the bowl with a sheet of plastic.
In case anyone else has to do this at some point in their life: you can typically do this with a small garbage can instead, thus avoiding worrying about the plastic or bag hitting water, while still generally containing the sample.
posted by curious nu at 12:59 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
In case anyone else has to do this at some point in their life: you can typically do this with a small garbage can instead, thus avoiding worrying about the plastic or bag hitting water, while still generally containing the sample.
posted by curious nu at 12:59 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
Next year there will be a spate of articles about how anus-prints were tested exclusively on young white men, and that smart toilets do not work for anuses of color.
posted by monotreme at 1:02 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by monotreme at 1:02 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
1. Prior to moving one's bowels, one covers the opening of the bowl with a sheet of plastic.
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
3. Then one immediately stands up, turns around and catches the plastic so that the weight of one's stool does not pull it down into the bowl.
4. Then one sets the plastic with the resultant....sample to one side to finish attending to one's business at hand.
5. Finally, one swabs the resultant sample with a tool, inserts that tool into a test tube and sticks it in the special "biohazard" envelope for mailing to the lab, and then flushes away the rest.
That sounds both better and worse than the couple of stool samples I've had to collect. The protocol for those was to use a wooden popsicle stick to snag a sample during pooping. Meaning, you are sitting there, leaned way to one side, trying to catch some on the stick without getting it on your hand, and then get it into the collection tube without dropping it on the floor.
posted by Dip Flash at 1:03 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
3. Then one immediately stands up, turns around and catches the plastic so that the weight of one's stool does not pull it down into the bowl.
4. Then one sets the plastic with the resultant....sample to one side to finish attending to one's business at hand.
5. Finally, one swabs the resultant sample with a tool, inserts that tool into a test tube and sticks it in the special "biohazard" envelope for mailing to the lab, and then flushes away the rest.
That sounds both better and worse than the couple of stool samples I've had to collect. The protocol for those was to use a wooden popsicle stick to snag a sample during pooping. Meaning, you are sitting there, leaned way to one side, trying to catch some on the stick without getting it on your hand, and then get it into the collection tube without dropping it on the floor.
posted by Dip Flash at 1:03 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
One wouldn’t want to defile the cleanliness of shit with some of that horrid piss. There are rules in polite society, you know.
posted by dr_dank at 1:10 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
One wouldn’t want to defile the cleanliness of shit with some of that horrid piss. There are rules in polite society, you know.
posted by dr_dank at 1:10 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
Jokes aside this could be quite cool. Remember how cities were able to track for Covid by analyzing sewage? Maybe a smart toilet would be able to tell you if you had it before you were symptomatic. I don't think I'd pay extra for this kind of feature, and I say this as someone with a toilet seat that will detect motion and automatically raise the lid, but yeah in a hospital or care home this could be quite useful.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:10 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:10 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
Somewhere deep in the bowels of the TSA, a nameless agent puts the final touches on their PowerPoint. In bold Agency standard Joanna MT font across the front slide it read Next Generation Passenger Screening: Automated Networked Urological System for Centralized Airport Monitoring of Security (ANUS CAMS). The agent paused for a moment and reflected that with just a few more edits this presentation would be shiniest turd the TSA had ever seen....well until the 8k resolution support in upcoming ToiletOS v12.6 was released.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:12 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:12 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
In case anyone else has to do this at some point in their life: you can typically do this with a small garbage can instead, thus avoiding worrying about the plastic or bag hitting water, while still generally containing the sample.
They gave me a couple of things that resembled those biodegradable fibre takeout containers. Except contoured for placement on a toilet seat. Saved me having to DIY it.
Then I got into a cab with my sealed biohazard bag of samples, and returned to the ER that had discharged me earlier that day to submit them to the lab.
It was Christmas Eve.
I felt like the world's grossest Santa.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:12 PM on September 23, 2021 [27 favorites]
They gave me a couple of things that resembled those biodegradable fibre takeout containers. Except contoured for placement on a toilet seat. Saved me having to DIY it.
Then I got into a cab with my sealed biohazard bag of samples, and returned to the ER that had discharged me earlier that day to submit them to the lab.
It was Christmas Eve.
I felt like the world's grossest Santa.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:12 PM on September 23, 2021 [27 favorites]
Is there anyone with enough knowledge in this thread & old enough to be past their poop fixation who could chime in on how important for public health this could potentially be in the long run?
From what I know it seems like automated daily fecal / urine testing of a whole population could potentially have rather large impacts on life expectancy and public healthcare costs and be a lot more important than a source of the sort of stream-of-consciousness about poop that I'm currently enduring every morning with an 8-year-old in my household.
posted by lastobelus at 1:21 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
From what I know it seems like automated daily fecal / urine testing of a whole population could potentially have rather large impacts on life expectancy and public healthcare costs and be a lot more important than a source of the sort of stream-of-consciousness about poop that I'm currently enduring every morning with an 8-year-old in my household.
posted by lastobelus at 1:21 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
Ottawa Public Health currently does COVID wastewater surveillance.
Here's the data.
Statistics Canada has compiled waterwater studies that attempt to measure the prevalence of cannabis use at a population level.
Similar work has been done around Europe to measure the prevalence of certain types of drug use.
But all of that happens at the aggregate level of municipal sewage rather than at the source point, so to speak.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:28 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
Here's the data.
Statistics Canada has compiled waterwater studies that attempt to measure the prevalence of cannabis use at a population level.
Similar work has been done around Europe to measure the prevalence of certain types of drug use.
But all of that happens at the aggregate level of municipal sewage rather than at the source point, so to speak.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:28 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
The CDC website on the National Wastewater Surveillance System (NWSS) is fairly accessible and has a primer on the actual testing methods and approach currently (which looks to be quite manual and fairly involved to get to the RNA extraction and measurement). My uneducated guess is that the public health benefit of the toilets at scale would be limited by the need to add several hundred dollars of technology to enough toilets to gather meaningful amounts of data. For individuals / small groups I can imagine it being useful though.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:36 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:36 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos
Eponysterical!
Seriously though, I just turned fifty and my birthday present from Kaiser was one of these screening kits and you have no idea how relieved I was to be doing this rather than a colonoscopy. My parents had extremely painful experiences with their procedures and I was bracing myself to say "I'll take my chances." Also I have two elderly cats who frequently miss the sandbox so my own stool sample wasn't that big of a deal.
Well, I guess if anal prints become a thing, the folks who make assless chaps stand to make a fortune.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 1:36 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
Eponysterical!
Seriously though, I just turned fifty and my birthday present from Kaiser was one of these screening kits and you have no idea how relieved I was to be doing this rather than a colonoscopy. My parents had extremely painful experiences with their procedures and I was bracing myself to say "I'll take my chances." Also I have two elderly cats who frequently miss the sandbox so my own stool sample wasn't that big of a deal.
Well, I guess if anal prints become a thing, the folks who make assless chaps stand to make a fortune.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 1:36 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
Why is Johnny Wallflower posting from Wordshore's account? Also I thought poo month was over. Please, I need poo month to still be over.
posted by automatronic at 1:41 PM on September 23, 2021 [7 favorites]
posted by automatronic at 1:41 PM on September 23, 2021 [7 favorites]
....I am very, very tempted to send this article to him as a tongue-in-cheek suggestion
I see what you did there.
PS. Guess which post of this day so far has the most comments. Don't need an anus cam to suss that one out.
PPS. Damn you The Ardship! I should have caught that, too!
posted by y2karl at 1:41 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
I see what you did there.
PS. Guess which post of this day so far has the most comments. Don't need an anus cam to suss that one out.
PPS. Damn you The Ardship! I should have caught that, too!
posted by y2karl at 1:41 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
Actually, getting poo on the end of a matchstick-sized sampler is as easy as it sounds. And yes, poo is the term used on the instructions.
posted by StephenB at 1:42 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by StephenB at 1:42 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
the folks who make assless chaps stand to make a fortune.
But sit to wipe, one hopes.
posted by chavenet at 2:06 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
But sit to wipe, one hopes.
posted by chavenet at 2:06 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
Finally I can unlock my iPhone without taking my mask off.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:08 PM on September 23, 2021 [12 favorites]
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:08 PM on September 23, 2021 [12 favorites]
Can't imagine why this brought to mind Tobias Funke of "Arrested Development".
posted by PhineasGage at 2:46 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by PhineasGage at 2:46 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
Sounds like Minority Report II is going to take things in a hole whole different direction.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:52 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:52 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
the anus has 35 or 37 creases
lol imagine not having 37 anus creases. Get on my level.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:54 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
lol imagine not having 37 anus creases. Get on my level.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:54 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Schmucko at 3:42 PM on September 23, 2021 [14 favorites]
posted by Schmucko at 3:42 PM on September 23, 2021 [14 favorites]
I fear there will be some pretty upsetting updates to the Borrowed Biometric Bypass TVtropes page in the next few years.
posted by subocoyne at 3:43 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
posted by subocoyne at 3:43 PM on September 23, 2021 [5 favorites]
ah dammit, Beardman, i came here just to say -
I DON'T KNOW HOW THESE PEOPLE GOT THEIR LAPTOPS WEDGED IN THEIR BUTTCRACK...
butt you pretty much beat me to the punchline!
posted by lapolla at 3:57 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
I DON'T KNOW HOW THESE PEOPLE GOT THEIR LAPTOPS WEDGED IN THEIR BUTTCRACK...
butt you pretty much beat me to the punchline!
posted by lapolla at 3:57 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Don't need an anus cam to know which way the wind blows.
posted by y2karl at 4:03 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by y2karl at 4:03 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
Is there anyone with enough knowledge in this thread & old enough to be past their poop fixation
no
posted by biogeo at 4:22 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
"anusprintf" was not a popular C string formatting proposal
The buffer overflow problems were really serious.
posted by biogeo at 4:26 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
I felt like the world's grossest Santa.
Nah, you were the Christmas Caganer!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:42 PM on September 23, 2021 [7 favorites]
Nah, you were the Christmas Caganer!
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:42 PM on September 23, 2021 [7 favorites]
Is it a coincidence that today Howard Stern said that “starfish” is a euphemism for anus and that the band Coldplay considered Starfish as their name prior to setting on Coldplay? I wonder how else it will come up before the day is through *
posted by waving at 5:05 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by waving at 5:05 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
No mention of chocolate from an anal mold? Well, ok. It's real
posted by Jacen at 5:08 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Jacen at 5:08 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
I felt like the world's grossest Santa.
The world's grossest Santa was 37 anus creases stacked atop one another, wearing a Santa costume, sliding down that chimney on Staten Island back in '88.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:39 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
The world's grossest Santa was 37 anus creases stacked atop one another, wearing a Santa costume, sliding down that chimney on Staten Island back in '88.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:39 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
Dammit you guys took all the jokes
posted by jquinby at 7:07 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by jquinby at 7:07 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
There's still a 'finally, a use for the CueCat!' gag left, jquinby.
posted by bartleby at 7:11 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by bartleby at 7:11 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
MetaFilter: come for the anus jokes, stay for… well, for the anus jokes.
posted by Tehhund at 7:30 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by Tehhund at 7:30 PM on September 23, 2021 [1 favorite]
Metafilter: Dammit you guys took all the jokes
posted by subocoyne at 7:48 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by subocoyne at 7:48 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
"Ha-HA! You'll never trap me in your surveillance capitalism system, you running-dog bootlickers! I had my analprints goatse'd off the moment I joined The Resistance!!"
An iron fist in a velvet glove, indeed.
posted by bartleby at 8:05 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
An iron fist in a velvet glove, indeed.
posted by bartleby at 8:05 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
An iron fist in a velvet glove, indeed.
[Insert invisible hand of the market joke here]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:19 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
[Insert invisible hand of the market joke here]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:19 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
How else do you get it to make the "*******" in the password field?
Why does your butthole say "hunter2"?
posted by The otter lady at 8:21 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
Why does your butthole say "hunter2"?
posted by The otter lady at 8:21 PM on September 23, 2021 [6 favorites]
Soon we can all be shitposting.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:35 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 8:35 PM on September 23, 2021 [4 favorites]
...why, what should it say?
posted by biogeo at 9:55 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 9:55 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
EmpressCallipygos... I'm not sure what kit you got for your screening, but I used Cologuard last year which comes with a plastic bowl that fits under the toilet seat for catching your specimen. Trying to manage using plastic wrap as you describe sounds like a recipe for disaster!
That said, even with the plastic bowl I was anxious about not peeing on my specimen. So I (and I can't believe I am about to say this on the Internet) pooped on a paper plate in my bathtub and moved the specimen to the container when I knew I had a clean sample.
I then boxed up my specimen to send back to the lab by UPS. Which was rather disappointing, because I was so looking forward to making the following Facebook status:
"I just FedExed a turd"
UPSing a turd doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:56 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
That said, even with the plastic bowl I was anxious about not peeing on my specimen. So I (and I can't believe I am about to say this on the Internet) pooped on a paper plate in my bathtub and moved the specimen to the container when I knew I had a clean sample.
I then boxed up my specimen to send back to the lab by UPS. Which was rather disappointing, because I was so looking forward to making the following Facebook status:
"I just FedExed a turd"
UPSing a turd doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 10:56 PM on September 23, 2021 [9 favorites]
In China, they have Facepay, but in the West, we will soon have ... BUTTPAY!
posted by Termite at 11:00 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Termite at 11:00 PM on September 23, 2021 [3 favorites]
(That wasn't Pig Latin, if anyone else was squinting at it)
posted by Pronoiac at 11:04 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Pronoiac at 11:04 PM on September 23, 2021 [2 favorites]
UPSing a turd doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
UPS's ad agency wasn't thinking of your shipment when they came up with this campaign, but... "What can brown do for you?"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:15 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
UPS's ad agency wasn't thinking of your shipment when they came up with this campaign, but... "What can brown do for you?"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:15 PM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]
Stinkerprint surely?
posted by gnuhavenpier at 2:47 AM on September 24, 2021 [6 favorites]
posted by gnuhavenpier at 2:47 AM on September 24, 2021 [6 favorites]
Wow, and I thought bumming a smoke was odd ....
posted by milnews.ca at 3:45 AM on September 24, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by milnews.ca at 3:45 AM on September 24, 2021 [3 favorites]
And as an elder i wonder is my current butthole the same one i had when i was, say, 16?
Ah, yes, the age-old question of the Butthole of Theseus.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:10 AM on September 24, 2021 [7 favorites]
Ah, yes, the age-old question of the Butthole of Theseus.
posted by Kadin2048 at 7:10 AM on September 24, 2021 [7 favorites]
Note to my fellow Empress: You may be embarrassed to have shared the paper-plate trick on the Internet, but I'm over here taking notes and thinking "actually I think that could work and I have paper plates in the pantry".
Let's chalk it all up to Palace Intrigue.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:43 AM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
Let's chalk it all up to Palace Intrigue.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:43 AM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
sorta disturbed that dali's "discovery" of the uniqueness of anusprints (except among identical twins, apparently) is evidently being accepted and promulgated by the researchers/creators of this product as fact. surely his sample size and methodology weren't sufficient to draw conclusions about every anus.
posted by 20 year lurk at 10:11 AM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by 20 year lurk at 10:11 AM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
Not all anuses
posted by Pronoiac at 11:13 AM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Pronoiac at 11:13 AM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
Every asshole is a unique snowflake.
posted by biogeo at 3:31 PM on September 24, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by biogeo at 3:31 PM on September 24, 2021 [1 favorite]
BUTT SCANNERS.
posted by clavdivs at 8:30 PM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by clavdivs at 8:30 PM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
BUTT SCANNERS: Probably not the weirdest Cronenberg movie
posted by Pronoiac at 8:46 PM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by Pronoiac at 8:46 PM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
Oh hell, this thread has reminded me of the Cologuard kit I have left sitting on the settee for 18 months. Evacuation procrastination. There needs to be a toilet that can scan it as it falls.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:31 PM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by a humble nudibranch at 9:31 PM on September 24, 2021 [2 favorites]
This is the weirdest damn thread to be reading while sitting for my morning post-coffee constitutional.
And damnit, you guys took al the jokes. I was going to make a hunter2 joke but The Otter Lady beat me to it.
Oh hell, this thread has reminded me of the Cologuard kit I have left sitting on the settee for 18 months.
Ugh, you had to remind me. I guess I should feel better I've only had mine for two months. My doctor scheduled me for the whole colonoscopy thing and didn't really tell me about... how much was involved with all of that. I initially said yes because I'm getting old and its time. So, sure, let's get high and put weird things up my butt why not? And then I read up on the rest of the preparation parts of the procedure and how, uh, incompatible all that was to have to bike 10 miles into town and back again.
I mean honestly I was kind of looking forward to the bike ride home while still dizzy from general sedation. That part I could have handled just fine by itself and I do that sort of thing for fun. But biking while high and explosively crapping my pants and hungry from fasting was a total deal breaker and I realized I was going to need to plan that one better than that.
posted by loquacious at 8:34 AM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
And damnit, you guys took al the jokes. I was going to make a hunter2 joke but The Otter Lady beat me to it.
Oh hell, this thread has reminded me of the Cologuard kit I have left sitting on the settee for 18 months.
Ugh, you had to remind me. I guess I should feel better I've only had mine for two months. My doctor scheduled me for the whole colonoscopy thing and didn't really tell me about... how much was involved with all of that. I initially said yes because I'm getting old and its time. So, sure, let's get high and put weird things up my butt why not? And then I read up on the rest of the preparation parts of the procedure and how, uh, incompatible all that was to have to bike 10 miles into town and back again.
I mean honestly I was kind of looking forward to the bike ride home while still dizzy from general sedation. That part I could have handled just fine by itself and I do that sort of thing for fun. But biking while high and explosively crapping my pants and hungry from fasting was a total deal breaker and I realized I was going to need to plan that one better than that.
posted by loquacious at 8:34 AM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
Also, they need to implement and mandate this biometric ID technology on all phones and electronic devices used by politicians, CEOs, corporate media PR departments and celebrities for the good of all humanity.
Just imagine how much different the last 5 years or so would be if every time they wanted to tweet or post something stupid they'd have to drop trousers and wipe their ass with their phone.
I honestly don't think it would slow down or rate limit certain people but it sure would be funny to watch some asshole at a press conference shoving their phone down their pants trying to unlock their phone.
On the other hand I'm realizing that encouraging certain political figures to drop trou in public would probably backfire in terrible ways and they'd probably just start walking around shirtcocking it and refusing to wear pants and we'd all suffer for it.
posted by loquacious at 8:43 AM on September 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
Just imagine how much different the last 5 years or so would be if every time they wanted to tweet or post something stupid they'd have to drop trousers and wipe their ass with their phone.
I honestly don't think it would slow down or rate limit certain people but it sure would be funny to watch some asshole at a press conference shoving their phone down their pants trying to unlock their phone.
On the other hand I'm realizing that encouraging certain political figures to drop trou in public would probably backfire in terrible ways and they'd probably just start walking around shirtcocking it and refusing to wear pants and we'd all suffer for it.
posted by loquacious at 8:43 AM on September 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
some asshole at a press conference
I see what you did there
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:32 AM on September 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
I see what you did there
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:32 AM on September 25, 2021 [1 favorite]
Sphinctature, as in
"Impress your sphinctature here, good sir"
bringing new meaning to "I wiped my ass with their contract" as well as "asswipe" (i.e. ass-swipe...I wonder what will the register terminals look like anyway?)
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:39 AM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
"Impress your sphinctature here, good sir"
bringing new meaning to "I wiped my ass with their contract" as well as "asswipe" (i.e. ass-swipe...I wonder what will the register terminals look like anyway?)
posted by snuffleupagus at 10:39 AM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
I wonder what will the register terminals look like anyway?
"Please do not be alarmed. We are about to engage... the Nozzle."
posted by loquacious at 12:00 PM on September 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
"Please do not be alarmed. We are about to engage... the Nozzle."
posted by loquacious at 12:00 PM on September 25, 2021 [2 favorites]
I have a whole pages long stoner description of life the universe and everything that involves hourglasses, fractures, hedgehogs, free-will, the arrow of time, the karmic cycle, etc... that all comes down to a punchline of 'unique assholes'. One of these days....
posted by zengargoyle at 7:18 PM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by zengargoyle at 7:18 PM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
Metafilter: Hourglasses, fractures, hedgehogs, free-will, the arrow of time, the karmic cycle, etc.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:07 PM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:07 PM on September 25, 2021 [3 favorites]
Zengargoyle, I'm sure Michael has a picture of you on his wall in The Good Place
Maybe not of your face though
posted by The otter lady at 8:34 AM on September 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
Maybe not of your face though
posted by The otter lady at 8:34 AM on September 26, 2021 [3 favorites]
hourglasses, fractures, hedgehogs, free-will, the arrow of time, the karmic cycle, etc...
Please don't put any of these things in, on or near my anus.
posted by loquacious at 11:37 AM on September 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
Please don't put any of these things in, on or near my anus.
posted by loquacious at 11:37 AM on September 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
sphinctature
Decoder ring.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:45 PM on September 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
Decoder ring.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:45 PM on September 26, 2021 [4 favorites]
If there isn't a sex toy company out there with a line of products that include "Free Will", "the Arrow of Time", and "the Karmic Cycle", that is seriously a missed marketing opportunity, albeit perhaps for a niche audience. I think hourglasses, fractures, and hedgehogs are a pretty good idea to avoid though.
posted by biogeo at 3:58 PM on September 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by biogeo at 3:58 PM on September 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Is this what Goatse was up to all along?
*Checks calendar* Right enough, looks like we're about due for a revival - Goatse is ~20 years old, along with bootcut jeans and scrunchies. Will be fascinating to see how it makes the leap to Tik Tok when the next generation pick it up...
posted by penguin pie at 4:56 PM on September 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
*Checks calendar* Right enough, looks like we're about due for a revival - Goatse is ~20 years old, along with bootcut jeans and scrunchies. Will be fascinating to see how it makes the leap to Tik Tok when the next generation pick it up...
posted by penguin pie at 4:56 PM on September 26, 2021 [2 favorites]
I think hourglasses, fractures, and hedgehogs are a pretty good idea to avoid though.
Agreed, although "The Fractured Hedgehogs" is the name of my new psychedelic rock cover band.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:54 PM on September 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
Agreed, although "The Fractured Hedgehogs" is the name of my new psychedelic rock cover band.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:54 PM on September 26, 2021 [1 favorite]
"Hey mister, can I get your assograph?"
"I fancy myself a buttographer."
posted by Pronoiac at 4:11 PM on September 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
"I fancy myself a buttographer."
posted by Pronoiac at 4:11 PM on September 27, 2021 [1 favorite]
1. Prior to moving one's bowels, one covers the opening of the bowl with a sheet of plastic.
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
3. Then one immediately stands up, turns around and catches the plastic so that the weight of one's stool does not pull it down into the bowl.
4. Then one sets the plastic with the resultant....sample to one side to finish attending to one's business at hand.
5. Finally, one swabs the resultant sample with a tool, inserts that tool into a test tube and sticks it in the special "biohazard" envelope for mailing to the lab, and then flushes away the rest.
--EmpressCallipygos
The secret is to use a plunger on the toilet until most of the water is gone, then put the plastic sheet at the bottom of the toilet, then just use the toilet as you normally would. Then take your sample and flush (assuming the sheet is flushable as the ones that I get are). This makes the whole process much simpler.
posted by eye of newt at 12:58 AM on September 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
2. One then sits down and moves one's bowels - MAKING SURE that one does not also urinate at any point, because this would contaminate the sample.
3. Then one immediately stands up, turns around and catches the plastic so that the weight of one's stool does not pull it down into the bowl.
4. Then one sets the plastic with the resultant....sample to one side to finish attending to one's business at hand.
5. Finally, one swabs the resultant sample with a tool, inserts that tool into a test tube and sticks it in the special "biohazard" envelope for mailing to the lab, and then flushes away the rest.
--EmpressCallipygos
The secret is to use a plunger on the toilet until most of the water is gone, then put the plastic sheet at the bottom of the toilet, then just use the toilet as you normally would. Then take your sample and flush (assuming the sheet is flushable as the ones that I get are). This makes the whole process much simpler.
posted by eye of newt at 12:58 AM on September 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
Also the Mashable links shows it has a fingerprint scanner - which suspiciously undercuts the idea that the anus scan only will identify you (but maybe I guess for identification of people standing to pee?). Of course its put into the flush handle so I guess they are SOL if the person decides not to do that.
Welp, I guess my dive bar flushing technique (using the toe of my shoe to flush so as not to touch the filthiest surface in a filthy place, thereby making the handle even filthier) will now be used for every toilet that is not my own.
posted by ejs at 11:00 PM on September 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
Welp, I guess my dive bar flushing technique (using the toe of my shoe to flush so as not to touch the filthiest surface in a filthy place, thereby making the handle even filthier) will now be used for every toilet that is not my own.
posted by ejs at 11:00 PM on September 28, 2021 [1 favorite]
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by mefireader at 11:07 AM on September 23, 2021 [8 favorites]