$40 flashlight-sized loudspeaker disrupter from China claimed

October 8, 2021 3:51 PM

In today's news, China's dancing grannies: 'stun gun' claims to solve square dancing dilemma by sabotaging the music. A month ago, the same source reported China considers legal changes to curb noise pollution from the country's notorious dancing grannies. But that isn't the news -‌- back in 2017, CNN reported that Beijing gets tough on dancing grannies. No, it's this small device which can allegedly disable a loud-speaker at a distance. I've wanted one of these in my car forever, but I'm skeptical of its efficacy. Details from Business Insider: This is the $40 speaker-silencing gadget people are using to shut down China's crowds of dancing grandmas.

For more of the dancing, which actually can be rather pleasant, when it happens in the park, a Wall Street Journal video from 2014: Will China Ban the Dancing Grannies? I've heard the claim that some are so obnoxious because they were Red Guards during the Cultural Revolution.

And just to clear up any confusion, what's generally called a stun 'gun' isn't anything you shoot, but a hand-held electroshock weapon (with two electrodes) which must be pressed up against the victim -‌- in contrast with the Taser (named after Tom Swift's Electric Rifle from 1911 (available at Project Gutenberg) with the extra "A" added to make it sound cool) -‌- that weapon is a gun, which shoots two coils of fine wire at the victim.

posted by Rash (60 comments total)

I know just the amplified street preacher who needs to experience this.
posted by No Robots at 4:08 PM on October 8, 2021 [14 favorites]

So, this is dancing in a public square, and not what Americans would call square dancing?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:16 PM on October 8, 2021 [8 favorites]

Yes, but that didn't stop me from sending the first link to my square dancing mother.

A happy medium seems to have been found in Shanghai, where the dancing grannies are using
Bluetooth headphones to create a silent disco
posted by ActingTheGoat at 4:23 PM on October 8, 2021 [8 favorites]

Sorry but dancing grannies are the best. And anyway they do not make more noise than the school gym practice at 7 am.
Miss them
posted by thegirlwiththehat at 4:26 PM on October 8, 2021 [6 favorites]

not what Americans would call square dancing?

Not at all -- they're doing mostly Line dancing.
posted by Rash at 4:37 PM on October 8, 2021

There's a guy who lives upstairs from me, who, from dawn to dusk sticks his boom box out the window and blasts a tinny, static-ridden country-music station so loudly that on the walks I used to take I would still clearly hear it when my GPS said I was 0.56 miles away. Then he sits in the gazebo outside the building all day drinking beer. It only stops during the coldest three months of the year. The inside walls are well enough insulated that it's OK indoors, but the instant you step outside it's like being repeatedly hit over the head with a croquet mallet. One of the neighbors asked him why he doesn't take the radio down to the gazebo with him, and he said he was damned if he'd spend money on batteries. There have been complaints not only from other residents of the building who basically can't go outside, but also from people trying to live down the street. The landlord will do nothing. The police will do nothing. One time I flinched when it got really loud while I was trying to get to the bus stop, and he screamed, "YOU CAN FUCKING WEAR EARPLUGS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!"

So tempted to try to get one of these. Even if it doesn't work I'd have at least tried.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:40 PM on October 8, 2021 [54 favorites]

Back in 2017, I posted this comment regarding the weird thing known as "dancing grannies" (or aunties). ADVChina's take made it sound kind of charming to the casual observer, but ultimately a pretty obnoxious generational artifact if you actually have to deal with it.
posted by 2N2222 at 5:17 PM on October 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

Not seeing anything about the technology yet, which is why it seems bogus to me. Is the effect temporary, or is the speaker permanently busted? And wouldn't aiming this gadget at the Grannies nullify not only their boom-box, but their cell phones, as well?
posted by Rash at 5:24 PM on October 8, 2021 [4 favorites]

Ok but all these old people are basically saying this is their only available activity/location for exercise and socializing. Seems like something the government could help with? Maybe build a senior center guys?
posted by emjaybee at 5:42 PM on October 8, 2021 [5 favorites]

...A senior center with cutting-edge air flow management, to make it as pandemic-safe as being outside, but warmer :)
posted by amtho at 5:44 PM on October 8, 2021 [2 favorites]

I think I just lived my nightmare via The Underpants Monster. You have my sympathies, friend. I seriously become unhinged by noisy neighbors.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 6:03 PM on October 8, 2021 [10 favorites]

A little confused. Most of the pictures show men and women dancing; why dancing grannies?
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:35 PM on October 8, 2021 [1 favorite]

Will this work on Foghat?
posted by clavdivs at 6:40 PM on October 8, 2021 [6 favorites]

Let me know when we can buy a device that can disable dangerously loud mufflers capable of causing permanent hearing damage to any unfortunate pedestrian that monster trucks and motorcycles zoom past.
posted by Beholder at 7:17 PM on October 8, 2021 [9 favorites]

I also am intrigued by the “loudspeaker disruptor” technology being suggested here and if anyone has an idea of what this is, or if it’s BS/wishful thinking, I’d like to know.

A handheld noise-canceling speaker?

A focused microwave emitter?

An EMP pulse generator?

Havana syndrome inducer module?

Handheld clickbait generator?
posted by darkstar at 7:19 PM on October 8, 2021 [10 favorites]

Tele-Degausser?
(since speakers have a magnets)
(But I guess that's what the EMP would do?)
posted by Rash at 7:29 PM on October 8, 2021

this is why i use an acoustic guitar to annoy and disrupt
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 8:38 PM on October 8, 2021 [6 favorites]

"YOU CAN FUCKING WEAR EARPLUGS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!"

Now I really wonder how much he'd like Einsturzende Neubauten.
posted by tclark at 8:51 PM on October 8, 2021 [11 favorites]

Metafilter: "YOU CAN FUCKING WEAR EARPLUGS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!"

(Sorry, had to do it.)
posted by sudogeek at 8:59 PM on October 8, 2021 [7 favorites]

> So tempted to try to get one of these. Even if it doesn't work I'd have at least tried.


The FCC frowns on such shenanigans, so this can only be a thought experiment:

1-16 of 183 results for "fm broadcast transmitter" - Amazon.com

Dunno if I'd broadcast static on that frequency or just that same station, but patched through a guitar pedal so there's just enough reverb or distortion that it'd be unlistenable without being clear that it's someone doing this.
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:29 PM on October 8, 2021 [2 favorites]

I'm guessing that it is a high-powered infrared remote, like the TV-B-Gone that was popular a few years ago. It just blasts all the common "off" signals at whatever common speaker systems these grannies use.

That would actually make the flashlight profile make sense. You'd just swap the visible-light LED for IR, and add a simple controller chip.
posted by CaseyB at 9:48 PM on October 8, 2021 [12 favorites]

I was intrigued by the final paras:

Dancing grannies do not simply gather once a day and then go about their days; they often do everything together, from shopping to travelling – even buying property together.
In 2013, a massive group of damas bought 300 tonnes of gold worth 100 billion yuan (US$12.7 billion in 2013) after the price plummeted.

posted by CCBC at 10:06 PM on October 8, 2021 [12 favorites]

Nobody puts granny in the corner.
posted by adept256 at 10:31 PM on October 8, 2021 [13 favorites]

I live in China, in a city where this is common. At night, pretty much any public piece of space has middle aged people dancing. I'm totally ok with it, some people hate it. My apartment doesn't get their noise at night, though during the day there is a different group of people who blast karaoke _really_ loudly...actually, I can hear one right now! The main shame is just that they're all awful singers, lol.

> Ok but all these old people are basically saying this is their only available activity/location for exercise and socializing. Seems like something the government could help with? Maybe build a senior center guys?

Yes, this is a primary source of exercise and socialization for them. In fact, as such, it has been promoted for quite a while. This backlash has been building for a bit, but only recently it seems people are really fed up.

As far as senior centers, there are some...but it's hard to emphasize enough the _scale_. I'm not exaggerating that like, ALL over the city there are people dancing EVERYWHERE. And in the big squares there are a TON of people. There's one square near my house that easily easily has a few hundred...there's another square that has thousands. The scale is much, much larger than the capacity of senior centers.

> ...A senior center with cutting-edge air flow management, to make it as pandemic-safe as being outside, but warmer :)

This isn't really a consideration right now. In the city where I live, outside government buildings and hospitals, nobody here is wearing masks. In bigger cities a few more places (namely malls) will make you wear them, but that depends a lot on what has been going on recently. Regardless, nobody is thinking about ventillation these days.

> A little confused. Most of the pictures show men and women dancing; why dancing grannies?

It's just how it is referred to. It tends to be 50 year old and up...men definitely take part, but a lot more women do than men. There are a lot of groups that are women only--there are basically none that are men only. Still, it's interesting that "dancing grannies" is the term that caught on in English, and I'm sure that sexism is part of it. In chinese the term translates to "plaza/square dance" (广场舞).

> Dancing grannies do not simply gather once a day and then go about their days; they often do everything together, from shopping to travelling – even buying property together.

In my experience this is definitely not the norm. I mean, as said above, this is a way that many middle aged people, especially women, socialize and make friends. That then can lead to them doing other things together is unsurprising...but there is definitely not some square dancing to property buying pipeline lol. The vast majority of people I know who go to this (pretty much all of my friends' mothers and aunts) are not going that far. They just dance with their dance buddies.

Personally, I find the backlash interesting...Chinese cities are not quiet places. For Americans and Europeans who haven't been it's hard to get across just how much more dense (and thus lively) Chinese cities are. I personally like it, most Chinese people I know are at peace with it, and some really hate it (especially people who move abroad and say they enjoy not having people everywhere all the time). For example, the city where I live in China ranks somewhere in the 80s population wise (though Chinese "cities" are closer to American metro areas)...but going by metro area, my city would be top 5 in the US! For me, it leads to a lot of really great externalities...but for some people it can really drive them crazy. I know one woman (a Chinese national, nothing I've said is about expats) here who despises the dancing grannies...the weird thing is she lives in an apartment that gets no noise, so I think the dancing granny backlash is also tied into other chinese social issues, including resentment of previous generations, a huge disconnect between generations (due to how China has developed, the difference in outlook and values between generations is extremely huge), etc etc
posted by wooh at 11:41 PM on October 8, 2021 [86 favorites]

Something I should add however is that the "just go talk to them and ask if they'll keep it down" approach is pretty much guaranteed to fail. In general people here sort of...don't give many fucks about shit that goes down in public. But the older generations in particular give no fucks. Heck, a friend of mine's kid had the following interaction the night before the national high school examination, for many people by far the highest stress and most important test of their lives...many students will stay in a hotel to be closer to the exam center and be somewhere quiet where they can sort of do their final bit of studying and sort of mentally get in the zone for the exam. A middle aged dude decided to set up karaoke outside of the hotel and was loudly belting out sounds from midnight to 4am. It's interesting given the authoritarian police state that China is/is becoming that things like this can be so hard to control! There's sort of a whole dissertation one could write about how and when power is deployed in China, but suffice it to say that it is inconsistent and in this case, a whole bunch of angry students, parents of angry students all kept trying to get this guy to stfu and he just wouldn't. It took many hours until someone with the city (there is a special type of bureaucrat that handles this sort of thing, sort of not-quite-police...if you ever see videos of chinese bureaucrats being dicks to people on the street, usually it's these guys) finally made him go away.

So a lot of people feel like there's no hope at getting them to respect them, there's no hope of communication, so they resort to this sort of thing. And a lot of people will support them because they find that generation to be thoughtless and low-rent, basically.
posted by wooh at 11:49 PM on October 8, 2021 [32 favorites]

Wonder if it’ll work on Swedish raggare (local assholes who cruise by in big old American cars blaring out shitty music that’s essentially rockabilly with a touch of Bavarian beer-hall oompah), or if the tonnage of metal in their junkyard rockets would act as a Faraday cage or something.
posted by acb at 12:59 AM on October 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

At a guess, it's a generic remote control with a brighter LED. If that's it, a piece of paper over the speaker's sensor will defeat it.
posted by StephenB at 1:15 AM on October 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

I have a couple of the flashlight/torches shown in the articles. They're very common, and sold under dozens of brands. Once you've accounted for the battery (3 AAAs or an 18650), the lens, and the LED+heatsink, there's really not a lot of space left over. I'm unconvinced by the claims.
posted by pipeski at 2:40 AM on October 9, 2021

This has to be the best thread I have read in years.
posted by y2karl at 3:27 AM on October 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

shitty music that’s essentially rockabilly with a touch of Bavarian beer-hall oompah

I don't know about driving around blaring it from cars, but I'd go see this act in a heartbeat.
posted by mikelieman at 3:45 AM on October 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

I'd guess that this is just a version of TV-B-Gone that has boom box off codes in it instead.

TV-B-Gone is especially useful in public places where they play FOX 'news'
posted by mbo at 5:02 AM on October 9, 2021 [9 favorites]

Is there no discussion of how this device is meant to work? There are certainly tools that can wreak havoc with public audio. But, they're not $40 or the size of a flashlight. And even that example wouldn't do much for a recording except maybe make the people nearby uncomfortable.

On preview - the TV-B-Gone idea makes a lot more sense. Do boomboxes have IR remote controls? I guess some probably do. That's a thing one could easily make for less than $40.

I'm on the side of the dancing grannies. But, I've never moved to a neighborhood that I didn't expect to be noisy.
posted by eotvos at 5:09 AM on October 9, 2021

Hey you grannies, get off my lawn!
posted by shoesfullofdust at 5:20 AM on October 9, 2021

Hell's Grannies
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:58 AM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

huh. This happens in my neighborhood in South Philadelphia, USA most nights, and I always wondered what it was about.
posted by lazaruslong at 7:10 AM on October 9, 2021

I'm guessing that it is a high-powered infrared remote, like the TV-B-Gone that was popular a few years ago. It just blasts all the common "off" signals at whatever common speaker systems these grannies use.

That is basically how it is described in the first link: "It acts as an all-in-one remote control that does not necessarily need to be paired to a specific device."

Where I used to live, the worst loud music offenders were people in cars with huge bass systems. Here, the worst are the dudes on Harleys who ride slowly with their tunes cranked really high, playing much worse music. Even if I didn't always like having my apartment vibrated from a car down at street level, I at least appreciated their musical choices, unlike the Harley guys.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:31 AM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

Hey, man! Is that Freedom Bavarian beer-hall oompah?
posted by thelonius at 7:56 AM on October 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

Yeah, for $40, I'm guessing it's a powerful long-range loudspeaker/bluetoothspeaker version of a TV-B-Gone

If it turns out it's doing something more than just sending 'off' remote codes, I'm really curious what it can do that they've managed to deploy for $40.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:31 AM on October 9, 2021

Hundreds of thousands of Dancing grannies play loud music, buy up billions in property and gold. Now China, soon the world.

[This is the plot for the new James Bond movie, right?]
posted by mule98J at 9:17 AM on October 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

I had no idea that the dancing grannies were so contentious. I’m about to move back to one of the NYC neighborhoods that hosts granny dance parties on a daily basis and I wonder if people feel the same resentment and frustration here.

The dancing has never struck me as particularly noisy, maybe because it is happening at a lower decibel level here, maybe because it’s happening in a park where like 50 other loud and unrelated activities are taking place at the same time. Then again, it’s probably also because I’m culturally ignorant and distanced from the sort of inconsiderate acts of impunity that make some people see the noise on icing on a frustration cake.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 9:41 AM on October 9, 2021

other Chinese social issues, including resentment of previous generations, a huge disconnect between generations (due to how China has developed, the difference in outlook and values between generations is extremely huge)

...they find that generation to be thoughtless and low-rent, basically.

The generation in question lived through the Cultural Revolution. When they were kids, they gleefully abused their teachers (with their Leader's encouragement) and then the schools were all closed for a couple of years.

Makes me wonder what the Covid Generation will be like when they're older. Sure, they still attended classes, virtually; but until now they've been mostly missing out on that social development the daily school routine provides.
posted by Rash at 10:00 AM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

More about this generation, from a recent article about little electric cars, and their drivers:

"You have to understand they are very scary," Shenzhen Open Innovation Lab Executive Director David Li says, referring to the grandpas and grandmas who make up the tiny car's target market. He is completely serious. "They're Mao's Red Guards. Do you think they care about officials cracking down on them when they’re in their 70s?"

posted by Rash at 10:09 AM on October 9, 2021 [6 favorites]

"If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your (cultural) revolution"

Chairperson Granny Mao Goldman
posted by symbioid at 10:17 AM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

"YOU CAN FUCKING WEAR EARPLUGS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!"

Now I really wonder how much he'd like Einsturzende Neubauten.

Oh, I've totally got this. I'm over here spinning up a playlist with Merzbau, Gescom, some Breakcore and Noisecore, maybe some Power Electronics. Heck, maybe even a bit of Ministry or even Throbbing Gristle just for a little country music gone wrong kind of flavor.

Or I could just fire up the synth and DAW and make some really amazingly terrible things happen with a mix of analog and digital feedback that might violate the Geneva Convention.

I mean I could just blast pink noise at it at like 120 db and it would pretty much be inaudible.

I have been in petty apartment stereo battles a few times and I haven't lost one yet.

My favorite battle was the new downstairs neighbor who mounted their walmart special home theater speakers on their ceiling and started blasting utter garbage top 40 pop radio stations.

I asked nicely first. I really did. I'm the sort of person that tiptoes around their own house. I'm generally really polite about my noise impact.

They responded with a pretty unambiguous "FUCK YOU" and by turning it up and trying to play it hard. I put on a bunch of industrial, noise and punk and decided it was a fine time to take up indoor skateboarding and practice my boneless fastplants off the walls and floors.

They came up and pounded on my front door and started saying "IS THERE A probl..." before the door was even open yet and didn't finish their sentence when they saw I was standing there and completely naked except for my boots and drenched in sweat, looking totally feral and holding a skateboard.

"NO PROBLEMS. I LIKE TO HAVE FUN, HOW ABOUT YOU? YOU LIKE TO HAVE FUN? ARE YOU HAVING FUN? I'M HAVING FUN."

They took the hint and turned it down and we never had to have that conversation again, and I went back to tiptoeing and listening to ambient music and Boards of Canada at reasonable levels.
posted by loquacious at 10:19 AM on October 9, 2021 [34 favorites]

Also fuck loud neighbors I had a guy who blasted Skinny Puppy (who I love) so loud at 3:30-6:30 am and I mean LOUD. like hear it clear as day in my room while trying to sleep. I went and banged on the door to no avail. I always wondered if there was some murder or abuse happening. I refuse to call the pigs (even back in 2000) but damn that was tempting.

I had other loud (but not nearly as loud) neighbors a few years ago and I would blast Delta-9 Gabber/Chicago Hardcore (motherfucker) at max volume, it would freak my poor cats out :( but it generally worked til we almost got in a fist fight). 2 drunk assholes do not make a right.
posted by symbioid at 10:21 AM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

More confessions from the Apartment Sound Wars

When I was much younger and anti-social I lived over a guy I called Disco Danny who -- you know. In frustration I'd go down to the laundry room, open the unlocked fusebox and pull his apartment's master, for a while (or sometimes, rapidly off-on-off-on). Then I'd go back upstairs, walking right past his door. As far as I know, he never figured out what was happening. Years later, I lived under a noisy couple, who tried to keep quiet, despite their heavy feet; but they'd disappear for whole weekends at a time, leaving on some noisy, buzzing appliance. Same solution, for a little peace&quiet (although I'd eventually feel guilty about ice cream melting in their fridge, and power them back up.)
posted by Rash at 10:46 AM on October 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

And, yeah, the technology is just an oversized IR blaster with a zoomable lens on it. That flashlight body is really well known and infamous for being a piece of junk within the flashlight nerd community. They make some seriously bright IR emitters, and you could easily fit a microcontroller in there to pulse universal IR codes.

In this case the junky zoomable part of that flashlight body is, for once, useful in beaming IR over long distances.

And there are IR receivers built into a surprisingly large amount of home audio or video electronics these days. I don't think it's as common in US marketed electronics and bluetooth speakers but if you have something that's the sort of imported no-name gear that you might find being sold under a wide variety of made up brand names on Amazon, AliBaba, AliExpress or that sort of thing, it has a pretty good chance that it also has an IR receiver in it.

I've seen these commodity IR receiver modules in a lot of surprising places, like LED candles and RGB mood lights or other similar devices.

The device is definitely not something that's blasting out RF energy and permanently damaging speakers. Such a device is possible but you'd generally need something like a magnetron and power levels at or above the level of a 1000w microwave oven, and it would have difficulty doing anything beyond a few feet of range.

The general or common term for such a device is a HERF gun. HERF = High Energy Radio Frequency.

And it is totally possible to build something that might be able to fry an integrated circuit or transistor network in a cheap amplifier but you really wouldn't want to be handling it. I'm not sure about the state of legality but it'll probably get you into a lot of trouble if you make and use one in almost any country because if it's powerful enough to fry a transistor at a dozen feet or so it's probably going to also make air traffic control radar freak out which will attract unwanted attention in a hurry.
posted by loquacious at 10:51 AM on October 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

Also fuck loud neighbors I had a guy who blasted Skinny Puppy (who I love) so loud at 3:30-6:30 am and I mean LOUD.

I've never experienced a true stereo war with music I might actually like, but I have an antidote for this, too.

Bust out the DJ skills and start beatmatching and mixing in time with their music. And then start mixing in silly things and doing live mashups. I wonder how Barbie Girl sounds with Skinny Puppy? Or mixing in some super disco diva house?

I did variations of this at the techno warehouse co-op kind of place I lived at but it was mainly for shits and giggles and not a real stereo war.

It was probably super annoying.
posted by loquacious at 10:58 AM on October 9, 2021 [6 favorites]

I don't know about driving around blaring it from cars, but I'd go see this act in a heartbeat.

So would I if that description were the only thing I had to go on. Unfortunately, the reality would be disappointing, as they don't take any of the exoticism of Bavarian beer-hall oompah, but rather leaning on it as a familiar drinking-song cliché. From the description of raggare music, one might expect something that'd fit on a bill with punk klezmer, Balkan ska, Beirut and the Jim Rose Freakshow, though the reality is just Swedish douchebag drinking anthems with some well-digested hand-me-down Elvisisms. It's probably the Swedish equivalent of MAGA-bro country, in that it eschews any of the deep weirdness of the genres on whose shoulders it stands in favour of a dull dominance display.
posted by acb at 11:34 AM on October 9, 2021 [7 favorites]

This is a really awesome discussion!

Shout out to wooh (and Rash) for the really interesting ground-level insights. I would like to know more.

Shout out to loquacious. I knew you would be here with cool anecdotes. Though, I would be nervous if you moved next door. ;)

Shout out to thelonius for the Freedom Rock reference.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 12:45 PM on October 9, 2021

Oh, and shout out to acb for introducing me to Swedish raggare. I think I’ll stick to black metal, though.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 12:48 PM on October 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

I hear my neighbors' music as often as twice a year, which is too much, but not worth moving to Alaska to get some real space yet. I think the main offender has moved, but I never quite worked out where they lived, the thud thud thud came reflected off a hillside.

I've cranked up the Gogol Bordello for this thread, but I'm fairly sure my speakers here don't reach anyone. Or I'd turn them down. I mean, I check if my headphones are up loud enough to hear when I'm on public transit..

I've been in some countries that were significantly more noisy than is typical in the US. Honduran drive-by truck preachers come to mind. Are there any societies that have a well developed sense that imposing noise on anyone is rude?
posted by joeyh at 12:49 PM on October 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

I only have one good story about loud music, but it's pretty solid so, here goes...

It was the night before our college graduation. There were four of us, still in our rooms. All the other rooms in the dorm were full of parents. One of our four was about to head off to join the Navy to try to fly jets, so he did not entirely join in on the festivities. We went to the guy's room that had a single, started in on the bong. He had a decent stereo, and started cranking "Whole Lotta Love". I'd say this was about 10PM.

Then, banging on our door. The host turns it down and says, "come in".

No one opens the door. Volume increases.

BANG BANG BANG!

Volume down. "Come in..."

No one opens the door. Hmmm

Volume up.

Think it happened a third time.

Song ends and I go back across the hall to my room, and am set upon by, who I can only assume was the door banger. All I could do was say, not my room man. But this is OUR house, so don't hassle me. Good times
posted by Windopaene at 1:02 PM on October 9, 2021

Shout out to loquacious. I knew you would be here with cool anecdotes. Though, I would be nervous if you moved next door. ;)

I talk a lot about making loud noises, but in reality I'm actually a really quiet neighbor or housemate. I've had multiple housemates comment or mention that I'm practically invisible or otherwise so quiet they don't know I'm even there. I don't clomp around. I can't even remember the last time I raised my voice about anything.

I'm also one of those people that walks really quietly despite being large and sometimes I accidentally scare the crap out of someone and it makes me feel bad. I've had this happen with coworkers, housemates and total strangers yelp when they turn around and suddenly I've somehow... apparated into view in the kitchen or something.

It's not intentional, I just don't like clomping around and I walk on my toes and the balls of my feet. I use this skill a lot when hanging out in nature or trees and I can move through a forest nearly silently because I like to enjoy the piece and quiet. I can hear most people clomping through a forest from hundreds of feet away and I just don't understand how some people half my size (or less!) can be that loud.

However, yeah, I do know how to make a lot of noise with some speakers or a sound system. I generally just save my noise making for an actual dance party or something.

If I'm going to be really loud you'll usually have advanced notice because there will probably be fliers.
posted by loquacious at 3:09 PM on October 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

No night digging loquacious...
posted by Windopaene at 4:16 PM on October 9, 2021 [1 favorite]

"YOU CAN FUCKING WEAR EARPLUGS IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!"

Right upstairs, eh? Then stack boxes, top with sofa cushions, put pillows upon those and speakers at the apex right below the ceiling.

Notify the surrounding neighbors of your plans including time and day and get their OK. Go online and check out current bass heavy hip hop. Select a track.

(Back in the day I would have made his Funk the P-funk or played Bootsy's Stretchin' Out in a Rubber Band or the B sides of The Big Throwdown -- South Bronx or Funky 4 + 1-- That's The Joint. You get the picture...)

Then after midnight, play said track. For far less than thirty seconds.

Then have a large male friend on standby to politely answer the door ala loquacious if he comes up and knocks.

Then kindly offer to buy him batteries as needed if he will take his radio down and listen to it using earphones.

Rinse and repeat as needed.
posted by y2karl at 4:54 PM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

ACL, about 3.5 miles away, is happening at this very moment and can just hear a bit of bass and drums once in awhile. It's not as loud as in years past. The new record for loudness in the 'hood is the damn UT football stadium (2 miles away). They got a new sound system and feel the need to "test" it before every game on multiple mornings and afternoons for up to half an hour with the system cranked to 1,011. It sounds like a live band has set up next to the house. Windows and walls rattle. One rap or pop song on repeat. Complaints to UT are futile. IT'S FOOTBALL!!!1! Oddly enough, the games are not nearly as loud even with booming narration, 100,000 screaming fans and a huge marching band. TOUCHDOWN!!!!
posted by a humble nudibranch at 5:46 PM on October 9, 2021 [3 favorites]

I spoke too soon. ACL is cranking up. Can now hear drums, bass, acoustic guitars and voices. I can't make out what they're singing. Mildly pleasant to hear faraway music on a cool breeze. I'm sure many grannies are dancing.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 10:19 PM on October 9, 2021 [2 favorites]

This sounds strange to my Brazilian ears. People dancing in the street, what's the big deal?
posted by Tom-B at 8:23 AM on October 10, 2021

“ Makes me wonder what the Covid Generation will be like when they're older. Sure, they still attended classes, virtually; but until now they've been mostly missing out on that social development the daily school routine provides.”

You won’t have to wait long. This year is *hot*
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:49 AM on October 11, 2021