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October 13, 2021 1:10 PM   Subscribe

Canada's Navy Absolutely Furious Over Sailor's Parody of Mid-Tier Mötley Crüe Song: "The Ottawa Citizen first reported on the Navy’s failed investigation of the crooner of the navy-tinged Crüe hit. An email chain obtained via an access to information request was posted online and it chronicles how unhappy navy brass were with the mystery man's performance, and how they threatened their sailors with punishment if they shared the video."

Noted in the first link: "VICE World News realizes the Brownsville Station song came first but enjoys the Crüe version more so that’s what we’re going with."
posted by mandolin conspiracy (28 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
The officer who suggested that "sometimes it's healthy for us to eat a little humble pie" has the right idea — investigating the missing strawberries is rarely a good idea if you're in charge.
posted by RichardP at 1:28 PM on October 13 [17 favorites]


Hey, if facial recognition can get Randy Bachman his long-lost 1957 Gretsch 6120 back, then that highly-figured Taylor flat-top should be a breeze.
posted by scruss at 1:31 PM on October 13 [4 favorites]


It's clear from context what it means, but I'd never heard the phrase "hack darts" before. Maybe it's just because I'm a non-smoker so I'm not up on the lingo?
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:35 PM on October 13 [1 favorite]


Canadian lingo.
Dart = cigarette, hack = cough
'Anyone seen Dave?'
"He's probably out back by the bins, hacking on a dart."
posted by bartleby at 1:40 PM on October 13 [13 favorites]


Hacking a dart is Canadian slang for having a cigarette. I think "dart" is a common slang term for smokes in Australia as well?

Example: Canadian curler who hacked a dart in '72 says he quit after seeing himself on TV
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 1:41 PM on October 13 [2 favorites]


If Navy brass have time to be pissed off at a sailor’s satirical song, maybe they have too much time on their hands.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:58 PM on October 13 [11 favorites]


In Australia, "Dart" is less common than "ciggy", "durry", or even "rollo" for roll your own. A "smoko" was/is a smoke break. Sometimes packs were sometimes called "decks". But then I'm old... and haven't smoked since the high school toilet days.
posted by greenhornet at 2:16 PM on October 13 [1 favorite]


Some strong Barenaked Ladies vibes off this player. Quite fun to listen to.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 2:22 PM on October 13


VICE: The video, called “Smokin’ in the Wardroom”—a direct play on Brownsville Station's original, but later Crue-covered, “Smokin' in the Boys Room,” was posted in February 2020 [...] The ditty’s title is a direct reference to an 2020 incident where an executive officer on one of their ships dismantled the smoke/heat detectors in the wardroom (the living quarters for officers on a ship above a set rank) so he, and other officers he invited into the room, could hack darts in peace.

Mid-Jan officer dismissals, first week of February video posting is a swift turnaround time.

Ottawa Citizen: No other members of the chief petty officer group or the senior officer staff raised concerns about the disabling of the smoke and fire detectors. But such an action is seen as a significant safety issue since fires on ships have the potential to cause extensive damage. Since October 2018, there have been 10 incidents that resulted in fire or smoke in four different Canadian Patrol Frigates.

Is that an unusually high incident rate in a two-year span, or is it more that it's 10 occurring across only four ships?
posted by Iris Gambol at 2:24 PM on October 13


Christ, just look at the "To" lines on some of those emails.

And ugh, there's the one guy who just had to put fucking read receipts on.

I wonder what the email thread about the leaked email thread looks like. Do you think they just kept hitting "Reply All" and kept it going? Quoting the whole chain of leaked messages each time?
posted by Kadin2048 at 2:34 PM on October 13 [4 favorites]


While the song was Mötley Crüe’s first major U.S. hit, this writer (who would like to go on the record as having seen the Crüe three times in the 2000s and is, therefore, somewhat of an expert) is adamant the song is just OK and sits square in the middle of the Canon of Crüe."

This reader, who saw Mötley Crüe in both the 80s and 90s, can't really argue with that analysis.
posted by COD at 3:00 PM on October 13 [3 favorites]


hello Royal Canadian Navy, Barbra Streisand would like to have a word
posted by elkevelvet at 3:12 PM on October 13 [9 favorites]


10 incidents that resulted in fire or smoke
There were two additional incidents of cigarette lighting on board ship, which did NOT result in either fire or smoke.
But these occurred in Newfoundland, and will not be included in the survey results.
posted by bartleby at 3:33 PM on October 13


It's not a parody of the Crüe song: it's title is a parody of the original song's title. Th song itself is nothing like the older one.
posted by signal at 4:02 PM on October 13 [4 favorites]


Okay, I'm not completely insane then. Thanks for confirming that.
posted by Naberius at 4:12 PM on October 13


Since October 2018, there have been 10 incidents that resulted in fire or smoke in four different Canadian Patrol Frigates
This sample includes an outlier dart-hacking Lieutenant who has set nine wardroom fires in two years, and should be disregarded
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 4:20 PM on October 13 [14 favorites]


and therefore they figured it was an “inside joke"
In the early 1950s, aboard The Canberra, my father bought a pack of Lucky Strikes from the canteen, they were like a nickel, so all these guys are on deck with the newly released Lucky Strikes and when they go to light them all the tobacco just falls out of the paper. They were surplus Lucky's from World War II. it's probably where he learned to roll a joint.
posted by clavdivs at 4:53 PM on October 13 [5 favorites]


In Australia, "Dart" is less common than "ciggy", "durry", or even "rollo" for roll your own. A "smoko" was/is a smoke break. Sometimes packs were sometimes called "decks". But then I'm old... and haven't smoked since the high school toilet days.

In Canada, in ye olden dayes when I smoked, a deck was half a pack of smokes. There were two individually foil-wrapped compartments in a pack that we called decks. All the easier to split a pack with a buddy when young and poor.
posted by rodlymight at 6:25 PM on October 13 [1 favorite]


smoko is becoming unmoored from it's original smoke break meaning to just mean a food break (not usually lunch) when working. So I've heard "what's for smoko?" (party pies and sausage rolls). You can have a work site of non-smokers but they'll definitely stop for smoko.

It's less smoke-oh and more smo-ko so it sounds like it's own word.
posted by freethefeet at 6:50 PM on October 13 [6 favorites]


This sample includes an outlier dart-hacking Lieutenant who has set nine wardroom fires in two years, and should be disregarded

As an interesting footnote, Lt. Darts Georg had previously been cashiered from the Royal Navy for causing 32 wardroom fires over the six years of his commission.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:27 PM on October 13 [9 favorites]


I'm on smoko!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:28 PM on October 13 [6 favorites]


I have to admit that I'm now officially old because the version I know it the Brownsville Station one.

(In my defense—if it is one—in the 80s, if it wasn't punk I never heard it.)
posted by sjswitzer at 7:38 PM on October 13 [2 favorites]


Relevant only to the "deck of darts" thing - this made me think happily of Ontario rapper B. Rich's song and video Out for a Rip and then the followup (where he sues Coke for stealing his catchphrase) Out for a Sip: got a full deck of darts, outta brews 'cause the Beer Store's closed.
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:17 AM on October 14


If Navy brass have time to be pissed off at a sailor’s satirical song, maybe they have too much time on their hands.

The alternative is getting a POS leaky submarine that the UK conned us into buying...so maybe it is not so much time on hand but rather strategic jobsworthian self-preservation.
posted by srboisvert at 8:21 AM on October 14 [3 favorites]


It's not a parody of the Crüe song: it's title is a parody of the original song's title. Th song itself is nothing like the older one.

Bummer, from the moment I started reading this thread I started hearing the Crüe version of the song with slightly altered lyrics. 'cause ev'rybody knows that smokin' ain't allowed at sea....
posted by Zonker at 10:22 AM on October 14 [2 favorites]


This is funny but would have been even better if the whole song was a parody of the Brownsville Station classic (Mötley Whö?). Perhaps Weird Al can step up to the plate and come up with something. As far as the humourless attitude of the navy brass, they should take Sgt. Hulka’s advice and lighten up, Francis.
posted by TedW at 1:24 PM on October 14 [2 favorites]


A parody is a song that sounds like the original. This sounds *nothing* like the original. You can't call a song a parody just because you borrow a phrase.
posted by engelgrafik at 6:20 AM on October 15


"Navy mad about song whose title is an homage to the title of a popular classic rock song" doesn't have the same 'zazz.
posted by rhizome at 2:30 PM on October 16


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