"observed the hunter’s nephew, with severely limited enthusiasm"
November 17, 2021 5:00 AM Subscribe
Light fantasy stories with some silly bits. "The Family Business" by Andrea Tang is a modern fairy tale about a Korean-American teen. "Janet and I Try to Get Frosted Strawberry Pop-Tarts at the Gilbert Rd Super Target. It's the One in Scottsdale. No, the Other One. The One on Gilbert." by Saul Lemerond basically never leaves the checkout lane.
I kind of like”bee tee dubs…” not that I would say it myself, except maybe in a high-end admin meeting, but….
I wondered if “Pokémon” was a typo, a browser issue, or a joke….
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:37 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I wondered if “Pokémon” was a typo, a browser issue, or a joke….
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:37 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Is this a good place to share my trauma?
I had to read the Pop-Tart one as I have only been Pop-Tart free for 2 or 3 months.
I had been having 1 Unfrosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart for breakfast since at least the mid 90's, whenever they were available, but they were harder to come by in the last 20 years.
It's the only flavor I like (I will not eat frosted Tarts, so that's what? 90% of them?), but they were discontinued this summer :(
In the last 2 years the only place I could get them was WalMart, and I have been known to buy 'every single package ... in the store' (although that was usually only 3-4 boxes)
Funny thing is, I've been gaining weight since I stopped. ???
Too soon...
posted by MtDewd at 7:35 AM on November 17, 2021 [8 favorites]
I had to read the Pop-Tart one as I have only been Pop-Tart free for 2 or 3 months.
I had been having 1 Unfrosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart for breakfast since at least the mid 90's, whenever they were available, but they were harder to come by in the last 20 years.
It's the only flavor I like (I will not eat frosted Tarts, so that's what? 90% of them?), but they were discontinued this summer :(
In the last 2 years the only place I could get them was WalMart, and I have been known to buy 'every single package ... in the store' (although that was usually only 3-4 boxes)
Funny thing is, I've been gaining weight since I stopped. ???
Too soon...
posted by MtDewd at 7:35 AM on November 17, 2021 [8 favorites]
The first one is also quite charming, and packs in enough plot and characters that I feel it could be expanded to a novel pretty successfully. The tone reminds me of Eleanor Arnason, who writes stories of matter-of-fact people dealing with outrageous situations, well, matter-of-factly.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:02 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:02 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
i know several people that say ”bee tee dubs” IRL, so it's not just a thing in a specific community
posted by jazon at 8:07 AM on November 17, 2021 [3 favorites]
posted by jazon at 8:07 AM on November 17, 2021 [3 favorites]
Man I hate it when a fight breaks out in a Target checkout line and blows up the store. Tuesday. Urg.
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:12 AM on November 17, 2021 [2 favorites]
posted by The_Vegetables at 9:12 AM on November 17, 2021 [2 favorites]
I wondered if “Pokémon” was a typo, a browser issue, or a joke….
I’m so used to the Japanese aversion to using trademarks (e.g. “WcDonalds”) that I wouldn’t have given it a second thought if it hadn’t been paired with “Magic the Gathering.”
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:25 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I’m so used to the Japanese aversion to using trademarks (e.g. “WcDonalds”) that I wouldn’t have given it a second thought if it hadn’t been paired with “Magic the Gathering.”
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 9:25 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
”bee tee dubs” doesn't bother me nearly as much as "decimating" does. That word is nails-on-a-chalkboard*.
*unless, of course, you're talking about a simple 10% reduction [/pedant]
posted by djeo at 9:41 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
*unless, of course, you're talking about a simple 10% reduction [/pedant]
posted by djeo at 9:41 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Janet bends down and puts her hand on my face, caressing my cheek, ear, and chin. "Oh, honey," she says, smiling warmly, "that's really none of your business, is it?"
I frown. "Oh," I say. Janet's sort of right. Our open relationship is judgment-free.
I enjoyed both stories and, especially, the Target one. Thanks for your ongoing short-fiction posting, brainwane. Much appreciated!
posted by Bella Donna at 9:45 AM on November 17, 2021 [5 favorites]
I frown. "Oh," I say. Janet's sort of right. Our open relationship is judgment-free.
I enjoyed both stories and, especially, the Target one. Thanks for your ongoing short-fiction posting, brainwane. Much appreciated!
posted by Bella Donna at 9:45 AM on November 17, 2021 [5 favorites]
I had been having 1 Unfrosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart for breakfast since at least the mid 90's, whenever they were available, but they were harder to come by in the last 20 years.
It's the only flavor I like (I will not eat frosted Tarts, so that's what? 90% of them?), but they were discontinued this summer :(
In the last 2 years the only place I could get them was WalMart, and I have been known to buy 'every single package ... in the store' (although that was usually only 3-4 boxes)
LOL! Just yesterday, I put in a big Wal-Mart order for our local food pantry, of which Pop Tarts is not an insignificant component. The Brown Sugar Cinnamon variety was the only one that wasn't available for shipping. I didn't know they had been discontinued and that there was an underground effort to snarfle up all the remaining boxes! :D
Folks will just have to settle for strawberry, blueberry and chocolate. Quel dommage!
(I can't stomach the cookies-and-cream variety, myself, so am reluctant to foist those on other people...)
posted by darkstar at 10:17 AM on November 17, 2021
It's the only flavor I like (I will not eat frosted Tarts, so that's what? 90% of them?), but they were discontinued this summer :(
In the last 2 years the only place I could get them was WalMart, and I have been known to buy 'every single package ... in the store' (although that was usually only 3-4 boxes)
LOL! Just yesterday, I put in a big Wal-Mart order for our local food pantry, of which Pop Tarts is not an insignificant component. The Brown Sugar Cinnamon variety was the only one that wasn't available for shipping. I didn't know they had been discontinued and that there was an underground effort to snarfle up all the remaining boxes! :D
Folks will just have to settle for strawberry, blueberry and chocolate. Quel dommage!
(I can't stomach the cookies-and-cream variety, myself, so am reluctant to foist those on other people...)
posted by darkstar at 10:17 AM on November 17, 2021
*unless, of course, you're talking about a simple 10% reduction [/pedant]
Pedants unite!
(Or, perhaps more semantically accurate, depending upon the context: congregate.)
posted by darkstar at 10:20 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Pedants unite!
(Or, perhaps more semantically accurate, depending upon the context: congregate.)
posted by darkstar at 10:20 AM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I think the crowd who say "whatev's" (for 'whatever') or "cee-bees" (for c-b-a or 'can't be arsed') might say "bee-tee-dub's" -- all flaws in punctuation are mine.
posted by k3ninho at 11:38 AM on November 17, 2021
posted by k3ninho at 11:38 AM on November 17, 2021
I didn't know they had been discontinued and that there was an underground effort to snarfle up all the remaining boxes! :D
I found some online a couple of days ago, and I could probably get a two year supply for that $256.45
Hope I don't cause a run on the market.
posted by MtDewd at 12:09 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I found some online a couple of days ago, and I could probably get a two year supply for that $256.45
Hope I don't cause a run on the market.
posted by MtDewd at 12:09 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I loved "The Family Business" and I'm looking forward to reading others. Thanks so much for all your excellent efforts to collect and share such great fiction, brainwane! The stories you share are always a bright spot in my day.
posted by cnidaria at 12:36 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
posted by cnidaria at 12:36 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
These were both delightful - I especially liked "The Family Business." (Although I, too, had a long-time fondness for Pop Tarts - the chocolate frosted ones - which made me read the second story first; I'm pretty sure either they've changed the recipe or my taste buds have changed. Maybe I'll just have brownies for breakfast.)
Thanks so much for sharing these, brainwane - I can't tell you how much I appreciate your curation!
posted by kristi at 1:41 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
Thanks so much for sharing these, brainwane - I can't tell you how much I appreciate your curation!
posted by kristi at 1:41 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
I want more of both of these kinds of stories please and thankyou
posted by SaharaRose at 2:25 PM on November 17, 2021
posted by SaharaRose at 2:25 PM on November 17, 2021
SaharaRose: What in particular did you like about them?
"The Family Business" in its wry humor and showing a sensible person's response to supernatural situations reminds me of Naomi Kritzer's "Scrap Dragon," Zen Cho's "One-Day Travelcard to Fairyland" and "First National Forum on the Position of Minorities in Malaysia", and some Ursula Vernon stories such as "The Dryad's Shoe". The Cho and Kritzer stories are available in those authors' short story collections.
The Saul Lemerond story is kinda gonzo or possibly even infernokrusher. For somewhat comparable over-the-top fun, I recommend "Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs" by my spouse Leonard Richardson - come to think of it, I may make a front-page post mentioning that since, per the revised rule about friend-linking, that would be ok. Unless someone wants to beat me to it! I also like "Tudor Spies and Perfidy" by neveralarch, a fanfic based on a blog post called "The Ten Stupidest Things I've Heard Since Richard III's Remains Were Identified".
posted by brainwane at 2:50 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
"The Family Business" in its wry humor and showing a sensible person's response to supernatural situations reminds me of Naomi Kritzer's "Scrap Dragon," Zen Cho's "One-Day Travelcard to Fairyland" and "First National Forum on the Position of Minorities in Malaysia", and some Ursula Vernon stories such as "The Dryad's Shoe". The Cho and Kritzer stories are available in those authors' short story collections.
The Saul Lemerond story is kinda gonzo or possibly even infernokrusher. For somewhat comparable over-the-top fun, I recommend "Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs" by my spouse Leonard Richardson - come to think of it, I may make a front-page post mentioning that since, per the revised rule about friend-linking, that would be ok. Unless someone wants to beat me to it! I also like "Tudor Spies and Perfidy" by neveralarch, a fanfic based on a blog post called "The Ten Stupidest Things I've Heard Since Richard III's Remains Were Identified".
posted by brainwane at 2:50 PM on November 17, 2021 [1 favorite]
New front-page post about a few stories including "Let Us Now Praise Awesome Dinosaurs".
posted by brainwane at 5:24 AM on November 18, 2021
posted by brainwane at 5:24 AM on November 18, 2021
Was there another story in the Awesome Dinosaurs universe? I have a vague memory of the dinosaur protagonists giving a dino friend an awesome funeral by strapping them to a rocket. Maybe I'm thinking of a totally different awesome dinosaur!
posted by moonmilk at 7:53 AM on November 18, 2021
posted by moonmilk at 7:53 AM on November 18, 2021
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posted by dlugoczaj at 6:18 AM on November 17, 2021