First conversations between God and the animals

November 20, 2021 10:00 AM

God Creating Animals

God: you’re a dog.

Dog: pat my head!

God: [pats head]

Dog: rub my belly!

God: [rubs belly]

Dog: ok what were you saying?

God: you’re a good boy.

Dog: [tail wag]

God: but the humans need you now.

Dog: [rests head on God’s knee] will I be their best friend?

God: forever.

posted by waving (9 comments total)

G: see that log? fill it with teeth. FILL IT!!!
posted by supermedusa at 10:05 AM on November 20, 2021

So very wholesome and funny and cute - 4 stars!
posted by davidmsc at 10:29 AM on November 20, 2021

I love this -- funny enough the question of pluralizing "moose" was just on Cristy the Wordsmith yesterday! Apparently by the time the Algonquin word "moose" was loaned into English the grammar for pluralizing words by changing the middle vowel was long obsolete.
posted by traveler_ at 12:25 PM on November 20, 2021 [2 favorites]

The angels are often snarkier.
posted by delfin at 2:16 PM on November 20, 2021 [6 favorites]

There's a while world of confusing word games one can play with middle vowel pluralizing...

A library is a place with lots of beek.
My soup recipe calls for one large look.
It's hard to win an endgame without your reek.
... And so on...
posted by kaibutsu at 2:31 PM on November 20, 2021 [3 favorites]

I just sent my wife into a half hour of guffaws with these. I think I have enough dad jokes to keep me for a while.
posted by lhauser at 3:23 PM on November 20, 2021 [1 favorite]

[melancholy meow]
posted by tommasz at 4:36 PM on November 20, 2021 [3 favorites]

These are wonderful. Thank you!
posted by FencingGal at 10:30 AM on November 21, 2021

This seems like a fun place to mention the semi-facetious debate over in Cats Facebook about whether the singular of "peets" (paw feets, so cute!) should be back-constructed to be "peet" (makes sense) or "poot" (also makes sense but sounds like a fart).
posted by Occula at 11:30 AM on November 22, 2021 [2 favorites]