Milkshakes: the fidget toy for commuters
December 13, 2021 2:35 PM   Subscribe

Almost half of all fast-food milkshakes were purchased in the morning, by commuters who wanted something to do during their drive. Harvard Business School professor Clay Christensen explains the job of a milkshake (YouTube). (text article)
posted by meowzilla (29 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
 
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, we're bored and would like to hire you for your viscosity
posted by gwint at 2:42 PM on December 13, 2021 [41 favorites]


"something to do during their drive"? Is driving not enough?
posted by pipeski at 2:57 PM on December 13, 2021 [32 favorites]


I like the first half of this youtube comment (the second half turns horrible of course).
"Another great example of a complete lack of perspective. Why do or don't they buy milkshakes? Who cares! Better questions: 1. Why do these people have to drive for so long that their brain goes numb and even sucking on a milkshake straw makes it feel slightly better? "
So they can either improve milkshake sales at a single location by a few percent or make a mint improving these people's living and commuting options, and they chose milkshakes. Way to go Harvard Business School Consulting.

Seriously though, LOL at 'business research' which consists of "one location for 18 hours " and he thinks he can form an entire business theory around it. No wonder they are so susceptible to fly-by-nite COVID cures, and these people are highly educated.
posted by The_Vegetables at 2:59 PM on December 13, 2021 [21 favorites]


My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like, we're bored and would like to hire you for your viscosity


Damn right, your viscosity.
I could teach you, but there's no ethical consumption under capitalism.
posted by Mayor West at 2:59 PM on December 13, 2021 [41 favorites]


this video+article is from the old world

when asked, in 2021, what job the milkshake was hired to do in the morning, about 35% of consumers responded "to own the libs", 25% said they wanted to "flex on the poors" and post their complex drink order on social media, while the remaining 40% responded "oh god please go away i am exhausted"
posted by glonous keming at 3:02 PM on December 13, 2021 [34 favorites]


From 2009–I wonder if he updated for WFH?
posted by Ideefixe at 3:03 PM on December 13, 2021


This is incredibly obvious to me as a user experience designer as part of the schooling for this job is to find this stuff out & make proper use of it. That there's already a profession that knows how to do this however is completely unknown it seems. It's mind blowing to me to find out this is some new thing somebody's getting paid to write about. As a designer I would say immediately jumping to the conclusion that milkshakes should be thicker just because people are saying they appreciate the thickness is equally stupid. All they did was find out that the milkshake machine needs to be operational in time for the morning shift. But I bet they didn't even think that through.
posted by bleep at 3:06 PM on December 13, 2021 [5 favorites]


From 2009–I wonder if he updated for WFH?

Well he died in January of 2020, so the opportunity did not arise.
posted by pwnguin at 3:15 PM on December 13, 2021 [11 favorites]


My initial hypotheses would have been:

a. People buy milkshakes in the morning on their way to work because it’s going to be a long day, they haven’t eaten breakfast because they’re running late, and they’re hungry and need protein and carbs, and dammit, I’m an adult and make my own decisions, and if I want a fricken milkshake at 7:30am, I’ll get a fricken milkshake at 7:30am because I earned this money, and all the people who might judge me for it are NOT HERE in this car for the next 20 minutes.

Ahem.

b. Thick milkshakes feel more luxurious, the same way that thick soups do, and shampoos, and syrup, etc. There’s a reason that “runny” is not a positive adjective, when it comes to food. The fact that sucking thicker milkshakes through a straw satisfies an oral craving is part of that, I guess.

Anyway, those are my hypotheses.
posted by darkstar at 3:17 PM on December 13, 2021 [15 favorites]


Here, if you have a milkshake during the commute, and I have a milkshake during the commute, and I have a straw. There it is, it's a straw, you see? Watch it. Now my straw reaches across the HOV lane and starts to drink your milkshake. I... drink... your... milkshake. I drink it up!

(I think it just gets ya all revved up for another day at the mill.)
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 3:19 PM on December 13, 2021 [11 favorites]


Is this Starbucks' secret to national domination? Socially acceptable breakfast milkshakes with stimulants?
posted by Selena777 at 3:23 PM on December 13, 2021 [23 favorites]


There’s a reason that "runny" is not a positive adjective, when it comes to food.

True, I usually prefer food that's sitting still so I don't have to chase it down.
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:27 PM on December 13, 2021 [10 favorites]


I don't know why I never thought to get a milkshake.

Oh well. Those tiny Burger King hash brown discs weren't as convenient, but they were tasty. And in the evenings on the return trip, McDonalds fries always made traffic a bit easier to deal with.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 3:36 PM on December 13, 2021 [1 favorite]


Neighbor had a fun "blender on a bike" rig for outdoor party margaritas, fun and didn't have a back wheel, but rigging one for a morning fresh milkshake commute seems like just a brilliant idea.
posted by sammyo at 3:42 PM on December 13, 2021 [2 favorites]


Oh yay. I’ve always appreciated the JTBD approach and have essentially tried to integrate this type of design thinking into the teams I’ve worked with. It’s also a great approach for personal projects, as well as managing thoughts and emotions. What am I hiring this chocolate to do right now? What’s the real unmet need here? And given that I’ve got this other job to do around reducing sugar intake, is this the best thing for job of dopamine boost? What else could do the job? Ooh, hello tea and bathtub.

Another thing I really like about this approach is that it recognises that alternatives to getting the job done done (competitors) aren’t always of similar ilk. A milkshake is a breakfast possibility, so is nothing. Or a bagel. An early lunch. Or waking up early and eating at home. Taking the train instead and eating a proper balanced breakfast. Sometimes your competition is nowhere near the shake shop. Simply put, there’s lots of ways to solve problems.
posted by iamkimiam at 4:28 PM on December 13, 2021 [5 favorites]


"something to do during their drive"? Is driving not enough?

The last thing I needed on an hour and a half long boring drive in the small hours was enough calories to knock my ass out when I still had half an hour to go. My only other commuting experience involved Miami, where there was too much..activity..to even consider multitasking, what with all the people actively trying to crash into everyone else on the road.
posted by wierdo at 4:47 PM on December 13, 2021 [1 favorite]


"something to do during their drive"? Is driving not enough?

How about a video game with your shake?

Most business theory could perhaps be distilled to the fact that Americans are bored, especially whilst running heavy machinery.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 5:00 PM on December 13, 2021 [3 favorites]


This probably also explains Jamba Juice and smoothies.
posted by jrochest at 5:18 PM on December 13, 2021 [1 favorite]


"something to do during their drive"? Is driving not enough?
posted by pipeski at 2:57 PM on December 13


Driving is generally anxiety-inducing, boring and terrible. I mean, I don't drive much, but I totally get wanting to do other things during the time. Milkshakes are condoned via the existence of the drive thru.
posted by eustatic at 5:43 PM on December 13, 2021 [2 favorites]


I kind of get the milkshape+driving thing, I used to have a long commute and had to start chewing gum to avoid zoning out through the last half. I was all too happy to be done with that commute.

My only other commuting experience involved Miami, where there was too much..activity..to even consider multitasking, what with all the people actively trying to crash into everyone else on the road.

If my years of fighting DC-area traffic have taught me anything, it's that people won't let mere traffic or the prospect of a terrible wreck stop them from multitasking while driving. My favorite/most horrifying is still the guy who was holding a tablet up on the steering wheel, watching a movie with headphones in while barreling down 495. From talking to colleagues, this apparently isn't at all unusual.
posted by photo guy at 6:04 PM on December 13, 2021 [4 favorites]


Yesterday I saw my relatives for the first time in 2 years, and one of them got a Tesla (don't get me started on Elon Musk). Apparently there's just a giant screen in there for the kids to watch movies on. I was all "um, is it within viewing range of the driver? From what I recall of the TV in my mom's van, it had to be positioned behind the driver so the driver couldn't see it." "Nope, it's just a giant screen in the middle..."

Anyway, yeah, driving is boring when you do it for a long time and I like milkshakes, but I can't say it ever occurred to me that drinking one makes driving somehow less boring?
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:16 PM on December 13, 2021 [4 favorites]


Most business theory could perhaps be distilled to the fact that Americans are bored, especially whilst running heavy machinery.

Running heavy machinery, bored, and actively seeking distraction.
posted by Dysk at 10:19 PM on December 13, 2021 [2 favorites]


If my years of fighting DC-area traffic have taught me anything, it's that people won't let mere traffic or the prospect of a terrible wreck stop them from multitasking while driving.

I've noticed that elsewhere, but the problem in Miami really is people actively attempting to crash. Sometimes because they feel angry or entitled to the space another vehicle is already occupying and sometimes because they underestimate the size of their vehicle.

When a bus crashed into ZipCar's Golf while I was driving it, the driver literally said to the responding officer that he was aware he was being passed (on the left, mind), but felt entitled to change lanes anyway because he had to make a left exit a couple of miles down the road. I took it as confirmation of what I had observed over the past few years in the area and as vindication of my position regarding never passing large vehicles slowly that I had expressed to a state trooper the first time I ever got a speeding ticket some 20 years before. I'd rather lose some money than my life.

Also, ZipCar can go suck an egg.
posted by wierdo at 12:13 AM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]


That’s just it, for many commuters, a milkshake is the PERFECT thing for this job. It’s not messy, distracting, difficult or wildly unhealthy. It lasts a long time, feels like a treat, is easy to enjoy, cheap, fits perfectly in a cup holder, staves off hunger until lunch, doesn’t mess up business clothes and is easily recyclable/disposable. Every single alternative fails at some part of this job. You put all that together and you have a powerhouse product.

Now, if you give that exact same milkshake to a kid, you have a real problem on your hands. The kid milkshake needs to be smaller, thinner, and packaged differently.

This is how you segment your users, not by antiquated “these people look like this” methods. And you only discover these meaningful groupings by spending 18 hours at the shop, or whatever the equivalent is for your market.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:31 AM on December 14, 2021 [6 favorites]


gwint: "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard"

Twahk your ahse in Hahvard Yahd
posted by chavenet at 12:32 AM on December 14, 2021 [2 favorites]


This probably also explains Jamba Juice and smoothies.


Frappucinos are just milkshakes with a bit of coffee in.
posted by Fleebnork at 4:41 AM on December 14, 2021 [1 favorite]


not messy, distracting, difficult or wildly unhealthy

YMMV - your milkshake may vary. Some milkshakes can definitely veer into wildly unhealthy with the amount of sugar added I think.

That said, I love a strawberry milkshake, the kind made with just strawberries and no flavourings. It feels like a real decadence. Best served with Cajun fries. Drinking it whilst distracted and driving would be a shame.
posted by stillnocturnal at 5:06 AM on December 14, 2021


How many American breakfast foods are just desserts we use to reward ourselves for getting up early and doing shit we don't want to do? Milkshakes fit in fine.
posted by emjaybee at 6:28 AM on December 14, 2021 [7 favorites]


Frappucinos are just milkshakes with a bit of coffee in.

My daughter goes nuts for the "creme-based" Frappuccinos and it's literally milk, flavor, and ice. It just melts faster than a milkshake.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:57 AM on December 14, 2021


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