Shi-halud-mass
December 24, 2021 1:28 PM   Subscribe

O welcome, ye faithful, to the annual celebration of the desert-borne. Shi-halud-mass begins with the gathering of the clans, the ritual exchange of water, the gifting of crysknives to the children, the mastery of the Worm, and (after they go to bed) a tau-orgy to bring a prescient vision of the year to come. Blessed be the Maker and his water!
posted by metametamind (24 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
"That's sure a lot of boxes under the tree Daddy, I wonder what's in them?"
"Pain."
posted by thatwhichfalls at 1:40 PM on December 24, 2021 [39 favorites]


(Desert-born, surely? Or are they indeed carried aloft by the desert? Perhaps metaphorically, I suppose.)
posted by eviemath at 1:43 PM on December 24, 2021



"That's sure a lot of boxes under the tree Daddy, I wonder what's in them?"
"Pain."


Ma nishtanah halailah hazeh?
posted by lalochezia at 1:52 PM on December 24, 2021 [5 favorites]


No one should be alone on Christmas.
But everyone should get 20 minutes alone in a hotel lobby on Shai-Hulud-mass.
Walk without rhythm, and you won't attract the worm!
posted by bartleby at 2:07 PM on December 24, 2021 [5 favorites]


"Will GurneyClaus a bring me a new laptop for Sha-hulud-mas Daddy?'
"What? You expect him to break the trade embargo with Ix and defy the the edicts of the Butlerian Jihad? A junior Sardaukar uniform and a Reverend Helen Mohiam action figure is more likely."
posted by thatwhichfalls at 2:37 PM on December 24, 2021 [8 favorites]


If the Fremen walk without rhythm, does that also mean they're super into mayonnaise?
posted by stet at 2:49 PM on December 24, 2021 [6 favorites]


Long time ago in Bethlehem
So the Orange Catholic Bible say
posted by el_presidente at 2:59 PM on December 24, 2021 [2 favorites]


I saw Santa Arrakissing mommy underneath the Xmas tree...
posted by chavenet at 2:59 PM on December 24, 2021 [6 favorites]


Child: and what happens to bad Fremen children?
Father: they are taken by the Sardaukar and given to the Baron Harkonen and the Beast Rabban to be used for their pleasure, such as …

THREE HOURS LATER
Fremen child is whimpering in the corner …

Father: … and thus concludes the description of the horrible pleasures of the Baron Harkonen and the Beast Rabban. Remember them as my father told me and you will fight for your very lives.
Mother: I think the parables of the Bene Gesserit are far more suitable.
Father: Ah, yes. The women who supply only pain and forced breeding …

Y’all seem to forget, nothing good ever happens to anyone in the Dune universe. All is pain and suffering for everyone except the Navigators, generally too high and spaced out to give much of a fuck.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 2:59 PM on December 24, 2021 [10 favorites]


I saw massive mistletoe hanging today, from earth trees. There is hope in this universe, indeed. There will be enough Stilgar for everybody.
posted by Oyéah at 3:09 PM on December 24, 2021 [3 favorites]


From all your friends at the Tleilaxu cloning tanks - Happy Ghola-days!
posted by bartleby at 3:17 PM on December 24, 2021 [16 favorites]


... this was not the jolly fat man I was expecting
posted by phooky at 4:13 PM on December 24, 2021 [5 favorites]


still can't fly, can they?
posted by pyramid termite at 4:53 PM on December 24, 2021 [1 favorite]


You know, Kevin Bacon didn't need to wait til the last moment to jump
posted by DeepSeaHaggis at 5:27 PM on December 24, 2021 [2 favorites]


Bell jingle rock jingle kull wahad
Kwisatz Haderach bell rock bell
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 5:39 PM on December 24, 2021 [3 favorites]


Gotta say, I find it rather remarkable that we all know this lore so well. Ixian Hwi anyone?
posted by emmet at 6:41 PM on December 24, 2021 [2 favorites]


Any way we could get a Jefferson Starship video into this?
posted by condour75 at 6:42 PM on December 24, 2021 [1 favorite]


Goodness that was an embarrassing clip to watch, metametamind — and I used to think my suspension of disbelief was a match for anybody’s!

But I’m back in the leather strap age when it comes to Dune movies.
posted by jamjam at 6:45 PM on December 24, 2021 [1 favorite]


Way to pull on my heartplug, y'all!
posted by k3ninho at 12:52 AM on December 25, 2021 [5 favorites]


On the first day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
a male child in defiance of the Bene Gesserit
posted by slimepuppy at 1:50 AM on December 25, 2021 [4 favorites]


SANDY BELLS

Dashing thru the sand
It’s one worm and a man.
Against the hordes of Sardaukar
This lonely man will stand!

We call him Muad’dib
When no one is around.
His very name will rend your soul,
It is a killing sound!

Oh, Shai-Hulud! Shai-Hulud!
Wierding all the way!
The Beast Rabban
You may stan,
But he’ll get blown away!

It is at this point the sandworms rose up as one and devoured the author, mercifully sparing us from any more bad verse.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 4:11 AM on December 25, 2021 [12 favorites]


A yet a kernel of the author's consciousness lived on in each of them, composing, and sometimes as the worms slowly converted Synchrony to a planet fit for their needs, a refrain could be heard, drifting softly between the dunes and machine towers...

...crashing through the land
turning green things into sand
over their kills they roll
Digesting all the way!
posted by jellywerker at 10:54 AM on December 25, 2021 [2 favorites]


Ok y'all .There are some fucking GEMS in this thread. Love, peace, and prescient galactic jihad to you all in 20221!
posted by metametamind at 7:02 PM on December 25, 2021


Embarrassing? That clip is a weird mixture of nostalgia and bits and pieces standing out (the soundtrack! Toto!) And the way it feels like Everett McGill invested so much backstory in how he intones the Fremen tongue..

I still dig it.

This also led me to the Dune Wiki page on the Fremen language.
posted by abulafa at 2:50 AM on December 26, 2021 [1 favorite]


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