It was a bleak time for M&M lovers.
January 20, 2022 9:55 AM   Subscribe

 
I also saved red M&Ms for last and was sad when they went away.

But then the tan M&Ms disappeared without a peep from anyone - after a campaign for adding a new color (blue) neglected to mention that it was not an addition, but a replacement for tan. Perhaps I am the only person who misses tan M&Ms. But looking into it right now, tan was apparently a replacement for violet. Perhaps M&Ms are a symbol of the fluctuations of life. Perhaps you can't put your hand into the same bag of M&Ms twice.

No, if anything I was really against all the brown. You had brown and you had tan. It was a very dull mixture.

There were also green, yellow, and orange.
posted by FencingGal at 10:16 AM on January 20, 2022 [12 favorites]


When they called Mars to ask for red M&Ms, the company got in the spirit and sent fifty pounds. Hethmon can’t remember how all those M&Ms got eaten, but he does recall the very large bowls it took to hold them all.

I think I figured out how they got eaten.
posted by chavenet at 10:18 AM on January 20, 2022 [10 favorites]


I was wondering why I used to think the green ones were so special (and the reason I saved them for last) but it's because at the time the other colors were yellow, brown, orange, and tan. There weren't any reds or blues, so green kinda stood out.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 10:25 AM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


The tight spread of brown-tan-orange-yellow had no room for outsiders; green was a pariah.

Tan left, the canal was broken, and red was welcomed home.

(Blue is like the college boyfriend everyone is polite to because they are just glad their daughter is back for a visit.)
posted by wenestvedt at 10:37 AM on January 20, 2022 [8 favorites]


In Canada wehere we have both M&M's and the superior Smarties, there was an ad campaign in the 80s that first introduced the blue Smart, then they took it away again, claiming it had been kidnapped by one of the other Smarties. In the end it was Light Brown Billy who did the deed, and IIRC blue stayed and they got rid of light brown, an interesting parallel with M&Ms.
posted by Space Coyote at 10:40 AM on January 20, 2022 [8 favorites]


In Canada wehere we have both M&M's and the superior Smarties

Mods?
posted by bondcliff at 10:45 AM on January 20, 2022 [23 favorites]


I absolutely loved the brown, tan, orange, yellow, and green M&M color scheme. They’ve never looked “right” to me since they added other colors.

And, dammit, pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, and blue diamonds ought to be more than enough for anyone. It’s a madhouse. A MADHOUSE!
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:46 AM on January 20, 2022 [15 favorites]


This is bringing back memories of the 1995 color contest and it was odd to me that people were really emotionally invested in blue vs tan vs orange. The only thing I have ever cared about is eating the whole bagful. "Share size" bags are like half a serving IMO.

As far as the green ones, this nonsense was the story going around the schoolyard when I was a kid.
posted by RobinofFrocksley at 10:48 AM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


RonButNotStupid, there used to be rumors about the green M&Ms.
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:50 AM on January 20, 2022 [3 favorites]


Jinx!
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:50 AM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


Space Coyote: You should probably clarify for the Americans what you mean by Smarties. The name is used there as well, but as I understand it, for what we know as Rockets, those little chalky mild sweet-and-sour things whose natural habitat is Halloween bags.

My wife gave me a subscription gift last year where every month I get a box of snacks from a different country. I have been to perhaps a third of the countries that have been represented so far, so a lot of these are new to me. One mystery that has stuck with me is that so far almost every country seems to have some counterpart to the Coffee Crisp, which seems to be unknown in the USA.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:52 AM on January 20, 2022 [3 favorites]


In Canada wehere we have both M&M's and the superior Smarties

Mods?


Growing up in Detroit, Smarties smuggled in from Windsor were are hot commodity. I don't know if I'd say they're better, but also they are totally better.
posted by Maaik at 10:53 AM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


Coincidentally I had the Canadian Smarties for the first time this week. It was the candy version of watching a television show and having everything feel just a little off, then realizing it was made in Canada and enjoyed by Canadians. Shape, shell thickness, mouthfeel of centers.

My brother tells me his wife will get a bag of M&Ms and eat, like, five. Then fold the bag closed, and maybe have some the next day, and perhaps finish them day three or four. I know for a fact that as a teen, I poured an entire single-serving bag in my mouth on more than one occasion.
posted by Caxton1476 at 11:02 AM on January 20, 2022 [7 favorites]


chronological confectionery bard Antics.

"In 1985 and 1986, red was included in the bag for the..." from link.
established re-establishing. I actually remember those.

"ONCE AGAIN, CANDY LOVERS WILL SEE RED" By Bob Greene/Chicago Tribune, January 21, 1987.

35 years to the day.
posted by clavdivs at 11:03 AM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


In Canada wehere we have both M&M's and the superior Smarties

Mods?


I'm just saying, if you put out two bowls of candy covered chocolate, and one of those bowls in Smarties and the other M&Ms, the Smarties will go first.

M&Ms are when I want candy coating over a chocolate peanut or something.
posted by nubs at 11:04 AM on January 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


In related M&M news: the M&M spokescandies got new shoes today.
posted by briank at 11:21 AM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


When you eat your Smarties, do you eat the red ones last?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:28 AM on January 20, 2022 [3 favorites]


I still maintain the unpopular opinion that food coloring is weird shit and I don't want to eat it. I don't like my food to lying to me.
posted by phooky at 11:54 AM on January 20, 2022 [3 favorites]


Now do green skittles
posted by knownassociate at 11:56 AM on January 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


I really liked it in the old days when the colors of M&Ms were really limited. Getting red back felt kind of special and different. Now they have so many special ones the colors are irrelevant. But the many flavors and flavor innovation of candy bars in general now is pretty cool.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:58 AM on January 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


In related M&M news: the M&M spokescandies got new shoes today.

Lady M&M went from go-go boots to Keds. Must be the weekend!
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:00 PM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


I wonder if the M&Ms breeding program is still going.
posted by kaibutsu at 12:03 PM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


RonButNotStupid, there used to be rumors about the green M&Ms.

Interesting, because wasn’t the rumor later that Yellow 5 (which is assuredly in green M&Ms) in soft drinks had the opposite effect?
posted by atoxyl at 12:13 PM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


On the pro side, Smarties use natural colouring.
On the con side, Smarties are a Nestlé product, and fuck Nestlé.
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:28 PM on January 20, 2022 [10 favorites]


I didn't eat a blue M&M for years when they replaced tan. I had a bag of stale blue M&Ms in my room and I'd just toss them in there. Even now I'm not a fan.
posted by potrzebie at 12:29 PM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


Even better than Canadian Smarties are British Smarties. They have those weird faded European colors because they are not allowed to use the ones that cause cancer, which I don't love about them, but they taste better somehow. I think it's better chocolate inside maybe.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:30 PM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


Now do green skittles

Green Skittles are now lime again, praise be unto the highest.

Green "apple" was a horrible thing and I'm glad it has been killed. Hopefully also staked and buried at a long-deserted crossroads in the dead of night.
posted by notoriety public at 12:58 PM on January 20, 2022 [5 favorites]


I still maintain the unpopular opinion that food coloring is weird shit and I don't want to eat it. I don't like my food to lying to me.

Yeah, I'm with you. I mean I don't particularly care about eating food coloring because I'm a weird garbage eating mutant, but I could also easily live in a world where chemical food coloring is either outright banned or unfashionable or otherwise just doesn't exist.

And, yeah, that means things like Jolly Ranchers or jelly beans and gummy worms would probably mostly look vaguely beige because that's what sugar candy like that looks like without food coloring.

I have a really hard time understanding the strong feelings some people seem to have about the color of their M&Ms because it's not like a given color tastes different or better than any other color and with candies like M&Ms in particular it doesn't really make a difference.

Granted I feel the same dire ambivalence about the color of my toothbrush, random housewares like sponges or cleaning brushes or whatever. I barely even care what color my clothes are as long as it's not easily stained whites or other light colors.

I think the only products I care about what color they are is bike parts or technology, and for those I prefer black or gray and it's for similar reasons of not showing dirt or whatever as easily and it just matches the general monochromatic theme I prefer.

And this all reminds me of a weird anecdotal story about marketing and the colors of products.

Back in the mid to late 90s there was a market research firm doing studies at my local mall that was offering gift cards and/or cash for taking surveys of consumer products, and the front line workers obviously were struggling with finding survey takers and they had equally obviously run out of fucks to give in general.

So I took a whole lot of surveys. Like dozens if not hundreds of them. I think I racked up just under $1000 in random gift cards and cash over a couple of months.

And at that time a lot of the surveys and tests were for home cleaning tools, products and housewares. Stuff like brooms and dustpans and that sort of thing.

And during these tests they were offering up some really bizarre color combinations like brooms with weird combinations green, black, silver, brown and even red colorways that just didn't really exist in stores at the time. Most plastic brooms were generally just brown or black or some other neutral solid for brooms to simulate straw/natural colored brooms, and stuff like kitchen or bathroom scrub brushes were basic colors like white or maybe white and blue.

So of course I chose all of the most hideous color combinations whenever it was an option, and I have a feeling I wasn't alone in monkeywrenching the surveys like this, because, well...

...fast forward a year or two after that and I started seeing the same really hideous colors showing up on brooms, dustpans and other housewares. I remember when I first started seeing them in stores and I just started laughing because I couldn't believe I was actually seeing them in the stores.

Sure, I don't have any idea if I helped make that happen or if a lot of people actually liked those things, but if I did I'm really sorry. If I recall correctly I spent most of the rewards on fast food and going to the arcade.

And then the iMac Bondi Blue and Frutiger Aero translucent craze started happening and things got even weirder with the colors of consumer goods.
posted by loquacious at 12:58 PM on January 20, 2022 [6 favorites]


Skittles betrayed me when I was young. I thought they'd be just like M&Ms but with different flavors. But they aren't.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 1:01 PM on January 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


Sour skittles are the bomb, tho. All the mouth ripping tartness of quaffing straight vinegar combined with the saccharine sweetness of just eating sugar in a handy package.
posted by jacquilynne at 1:09 PM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


Damn you, ricochet biscuit, now I want Coffee Crisp. Coffee + chocolate, I need this in my life.
posted by theora55 at 1:20 PM on January 20, 2022 [3 favorites]


nevermind, I found some to order. We're good.
posted by theora55 at 1:21 PM on January 20, 2022


It would be insane if they had stopped including "Red" in Smarties...

Because the insinuated instructions were right there in the jingle...

When you eat your Smarties,
Do you eat the red ones last?
Do you suck them very slowly,
Or crunch them very fast?
Eat that candy-coated chocolate,
But tell me when I ask,
When you eat your Smarties,
Do you eat the red ones last?

Definately far superior to M&M's...
posted by rozcakj at 1:31 PM on January 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


I like Smarties more than M&Ms but both of them fall into the category of things I'll eat and enjoy but never buy myself because if I'm buying something from the candy aisle there are so many better things to choose such as Reese cups or pieces, Coffee Crisp, or Maltesers/Whoppers. If there's nothing available better than Smarties I may as well get some chips.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:43 PM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


The thing with Smarties is that the sizing of the candies doesn't work for the April Fool's Day prank of setting out a glass bowl on your desk into which you have poured 1 bag of chocolate M&Ms, one bag of fruit Skittles, and one bag of peanut butter Reese's Pieces. Stir, then wait for people's 'you MONSTER!' facial expressions when they grab a few yellows and get a mouthful of choco-lemon-nut.
posted by bartleby at 1:47 PM on January 20, 2022 [14 favorites]


What was that movie? "the wedding planner" maybe- where he only eats the brown MnMs because they have less artificial colours. And then I realised that the coating of MnMs is sugar, so the colour should be white, not brown, and if the colours are mixed, then brown is actually MORE artificial colours!!

Young teen me was so annoyed hahaha.
posted by freethefeet at 2:06 PM on January 20, 2022


The thing that was cool about green M&Ms, back in the day, was that you could use them when you wanted to be suggestive. Offer the object of your affection a handful of green ones and someone was sure to go "Oooooooo" in a lewd manner. Which meant that risque joking was now on the table, and into the gutter we'd all leap. I mean, not as effective as today's youth sending pics of their tits and dicks to one another, but we were more subtle and classy than that.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 2:33 PM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


then brown is actually MORE artificial colours

It's possible that the brown they use for the M&Ms has more natural colours in it so yeah they had to dye it but they didn't use as many artificial colours in it.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:44 PM on January 20, 2022


MetaFilter: not as effective as today's youth sending pics of their tits and dicks to one another
posted by chavenet at 2:44 PM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


At the risk of sounding like a complete teaboo, I have found that even the cheapest British chocolate candy is better than its American equivalent. (Except for Flakes, which exist to make a mess, apparently.) Smarties are just one example.

You can make special orders of M&Ms with your own messages or even tiny photos, for weddings or whatever, but if it were up to me I would rather have Sixlets: even less actual chocolate ingredients inside but tastier because each shell color really is flavored differently.
posted by Countess Elena at 2:50 PM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


I'm not sure whether or not these ever existed in the US... but in the Netherlands (and several other European countries), before there were chocolate M&Ms, there were Bonitos. They did not have the M on them, they had faces. SO MUCH BETTER. And they came with the slogan: Melts in the mouth, not in the hand.

There were also sugar coated chocolates with peanuts inside, sold under the name Treets. Those were replaced by M&Ms, too.

Here is a French article about these old brands, showing the old packaging and marketing materials. TW for grossness: it also shows what 40-year old Treets look like.
posted by Too-Ticky at 3:04 PM on January 20, 2022


Melts in the mouth, not in the hand

That was the M&M slogan and you know what? They do melt in your hand now. I'd complain bitterly but I really like dark chocolate peanut M&Ms.
posted by hypnogogue at 4:20 PM on January 20, 2022


M&Ms are when I want candy coating over a chocolate peanut or something.

Regular M&Ms: Meh, whatever.
Peanut M&Ms: I’m listening.
Almond M&Ms: Hit me baby one more time.
Almond M&Ms dumped into a bag of popcorn: You will mark the day I told you this.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:32 PM on January 20, 2022 [5 favorites]


Read This Crazy Story About No Brown M&Ms.
posted by theora55 at 7:23 PM on January 20, 2022


choco-lemon-nut

Username up for grabs!
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:21 PM on January 20, 2022 [2 favorites]


Mini M&Ms for the win. Good in soft-serve ice cream. Good in trail mix. Just enough, and not too much.
posted by TrishaU at 9:05 PM on January 20, 2022 [1 favorite]


I used to save the tubes Mini M&Ms came in, to hold spare change. Or quarters for the laundry.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:01 PM on January 20, 2022 [4 favorites]


Trail mix? You mean M&Ms with obstacles?
posted by bartleby at 10:06 PM on January 20, 2022 [11 favorites]


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