Failure is Inevitable. What Matters is How You Deal With It.
February 18, 2022 3:10 PM   Subscribe

Bookstore Simulator - Based on a pen and paper RPG originally in a tweet from Henry Sotheran's, antiquarian bookseller.
posted by thatwhichfalls (15 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Eh, too many people wanting the toilet and not enough wanting vanilla heterosexual pornography. I give it a B-. There should also be unpacking a box including things you haven’t ordered, with a cryptic invoice.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:30 PM on February 18, 2022 [2 favorites]


I was just hoping
For a bookstore
Like the one I prayed for
And the music they play there
Would be Dinosaur Jr
And the people who worked there
Would be super skinny
And super unfriendly
And that would make me happy

posted by mykescipark at 3:53 PM on February 18, 2022


Needs additional options for one or more of the following:

1) phone rings when demanding customer appears before you


2) the cryptic invoice is only a packing list


3) Mickey and Sylvia (the store cats) - this is the good part and restores patience


on and on.

Full disclosure: worked at Olsson's and also Second Story Books. Lived to tell the (many) tales.
posted by datawrangler at 4:00 PM on February 18, 2022 [4 favorites]


Unrealistic in my eyes. The sim should have come to a grinding halt when we ran out of tea.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 4:57 PM on February 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


There should be an a daily event where you have to go through the magazine rack and mark the edges of the magazines with a crayon so you know which ones to send back to the distributor for credit after 4 weeks. And you should lose 2 or 3 patience every time.

And the small porn section of the bookstore should be bringing in all the money, but you have to watch every customer that goes back there and lose patience at how long their dawdling.

Let's not talk about the random event where it rains and you open up for the day and find a flood of water on the floor. Or having your 70 year old employee (the best book pricer in town) held up at gunpoint.

(Source, I managed a used book store for a while.)
posted by Catblack at 4:59 PM on February 18, 2022 [4 favorites]


Can vouch for this.

Also: "A feeling of dread comes over you.
So far you have 0 money." Yes. Every day in the bookstore.
posted by doctornemo at 5:16 PM on February 18, 2022 [3 favorites]


Other random events from memory:

-customer dickers over hardcover books priced at $1
-bookstore owner physically fights a customer, tossing him upstairs
-rain seeps through building structure, dripping on numerous shelves
-customer flirts with staff
-passionate argument (for and against Piers Anthony) breaks out in science fiction room
-local art fair customers bring staff morale to breaking point
-staffer practices memorizing lines from The Shining
-discover hardcore porn mag pages stuffed between two books
-purchase, price, and sell specialized collection in 12 hours
-play the Clockwork Orange soundtrack to unsettle customers
-demonstrate fore-edge painted books to raise everyone's morale
posted by doctornemo at 5:20 PM on February 18, 2022 [4 favorites]


There's a great #KingsofConvenience clip- here
posted by kfholy at 5:34 PM on February 18, 2022


A customer arrives. The customer is a literal wild animal.
A peculiarity occurs. There is a long, blissful silence. Normally, this would have a positive influence on your remaining patience; however, even angels cannot have more patience than you currently possess.
brilliant. 10 years as a bookseller. I loved a lot about it, except for the wolf at the door, Border's just opened, you'll never buy a house or retire parts. I was well out when Amazon went into bookstore-killing, because that would have been a great misery. Bookstores are a great place to hang out and readers are the best people. Book reps are fantastic.
posted by theora55 at 6:06 PM on February 18, 2022 [3 favorites]


A customer said "Oh there's no price on it, it must be free." on day 1. Game lost. Burn the link to this website.

Ha.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:16 PM on February 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


In two days I got unexpected bills six times, at three money each, and the second day isn't even over yet. I understand running a bookstore is hard, but that's nearly twice the rent, with five more days of this left. In this time, I've earned a total of three money, two of which from selling books. Looking at the tables, the expected income per event is minus 1 1/3 money.

This store isn't just hopeless, it's incredibly so. I submit that this store is in an unprofitable location and should relocate to somewhere more promising, like the lunar surface.
posted by JHarris at 10:44 PM on February 18, 2022


Wait--math error. It's 2/9ths of a money. Still, I think WOPR said it best.
posted by JHarris at 10:47 PM on February 18, 2022


Once in a great while there should be a patience/money restorer:

"a customer comes - with a child who excitedly chooses four books and has already started reading them before their parent has even paid for them."

I didn't manage a book store - I've only volunteered at a used bookstore once or twice (the dude who founded my book club singlehandedly runs a used bookstore here in NYC, and a couple of us did shifts for a couple hours a few times to thank him for his work and to give him a chance to go pee or something).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:17 AM on February 19, 2022 [1 favorite]


This sets you up to be a really bad bookseller. Somehow there are more wild animals than paying customers, books are destroyed every time they fall off the shelf, and no one buys more than one book? I have been a bookseller and could add many more hardships than this accounts for, but it needs more sales.
posted by tangosnail at 6:46 AM on February 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


Nudes razored out of really expensive art/photography books, -1 money
posted by indexy at 10:53 AM on February 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


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