How many flowers had the chef tasted?
February 28, 2022 5:32 AM   Subscribe

This review of a Michelin starred restaurant in Birmingham (UK) is the purest ode to the joy of great food and a place that cares about the experience of eating it.

Previously in high end dining reviews that were slightly less positive for contrast.
posted by mr_stru (57 comments total) 60 users marked this as a favorite
 
She's beautifully expressive. It's wonderful to see someone get so blown away by an artistic experience.

This is exactly why we save to do something like this once or twice a year. We've had the occasional off-putting experience at starred places, but for the most part, it's a big event for us, my wife and I, and something we'll remember and talk about each for years later. We still talk about a meal in NYC a decade ago mostly because the people working front of house that night were so fantastic.

It's just like going to a concert. Two or four hours of delight, wonder and satisfaction. That's the way we see it at any rate.
posted by bonehead at 5:50 AM on February 28, 2022 [35 favorites]


I read this the other day when a friend shared it on Facebook, and I loved it. It's such a brilliantly written gem that you can really feel her delight.

Relatively early in the days of molecular gastronomy, I took some friends to Toronto's main purveyor of that kind of food, and the tasting menu was an amazing mix of just brilliantly cooked things you would otherwise recognize and total goddamned mind fucks. Like, the amuse bouche was clearly and unequivocally a cherry tomato on a spoon except that when you put it in your facehole, it tasted more intensely of carrots than any carrot you had ever eaten. It was just tremendously fun to eat food that was so delicious but also so unexpected.

And we were seated at the kitchen table so we could watch the army of chefs who were very painstakingly preparing every dish for that restaurant which really tended to explain why it was all so very expensive for relatively small portions of food.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:03 AM on February 28, 2022 [12 favorites]


I love her bit about licking the plates. I have some friends who are Serious Food Nerds and they have absolutely licked the plates in places like that and gotten applause from the staff.

This sounds wonderful and I'm so glad she had such an eye-opening, taste-bud-opening experience!

And she didn't have to lick a plaster cast of the chef's lips, either.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:05 AM on February 28, 2022 [22 favorites]


metafilter : when my bouche was adequately amused

this was beautiful, sincere writing. First-experiences of good things are heady and, frankly, sometimes almost orgasmic - sadly, the returns usually diminish (says this jaded hedonist)....sooo..... I'm happy she enjoyed and even happier she shared with us!
posted by lalochezia at 6:12 AM on February 28, 2022 [19 favorites]


Shades of Soleil Ho but that's probably unintentional.
posted by parmanparman at 6:24 AM on February 28, 2022


It's kinda wild how daring it feels when someone in a critic's position just comes out and says they love something, isn't it?
posted by sockshaveholes at 6:53 AM on February 28, 2022 [23 favorites]


I was skeptical of this kind of dining, much like the auther - but once happened to go to a place in a vinyard somewhere west of Brisbane AU - apologies, cannot remember the name and have searched for it for years.

...and... it. was. divine.
posted by rozcakj at 7:11 AM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]


Right before my parents' first visit to New York in my freshman year in college, my father was talking about the visit with a guy at work. "Oh, hey, my brother just opened a restaurant there," the guy said. "Lemme call him and set you guys up with a dinner on the house."

This man's brother was David Bouley, by the way, and his original TriBeCa place was just starting to get going.

My parents and I had no idea what we were in for until about ten minutes after we got there. Even the original waiter who showed us to our table seemed unaware and gave us all menus, and we were quietly perusing them when the maître'-d came scurrying over and apologetically took them back - "so sorry, folks, the chef is already working on a full tasting menu for you all."

"uh....okay?" This was the first time we'd ever even heard of a tasting menu. My parents were low-to-mid middle class, and we lived in a small rural town where the fanciest restaurant was a sort of bistro. And I was a scruffy college student who'd been living off dorm cafeteria food for the past month.

And then the waiters started bringing us out plates of amazing food, and it just kept coming. Sitting at that table felt exactly like this. And because the food was for free, my father had splurged on the wine instead.

We left totally blown away, and my father said that he was going to start saving up to actually pay for a meal there the next time he visited. But within a couple weeks of our meal Bouley really started to take off, and became the kind of place where you had to make a reservation months or even years in advance - and we never ate there again.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:22 AM on February 28, 2022 [58 favorites]


Honestly, so happy to see someone simply enjoying the pleasures of fine dining. There's so much obnoxious stuff around the real joy of it. It sounds like the service was superb, too, putting her at her ease while taking care of her. That can be tricky; for those of us brought up to think we "didn't belong" in such spaces, formal service can be unintentionally offputting.
posted by praemunire at 7:23 AM on February 28, 2022 [18 favorites]


I too am common as much and I'm a picky eater, so I will never have this experience. However, at my favvourite sushi restaurant, now closed the chef would bring me aji tempura whenever he could get aji up to his standards (which sadly was not often). This was heaven in my mouth. It wasn't a piece of battered and fried fish. The fish was chopped up very finely and sandwiched between two little leaves. I don't know what they leaves were. They were delicious. then that whole thing was tempured in a very light (thin? what's the word here?) tempura. That melted in my mouth every time.

And every time I went in I'd ask if he had it, but usually he didn't. Sometimes I forgot to ask because it was so rare that he had it and he'd bring it out "on the house, since i didn't order it" and make my night. And every single time I was a little afraid because it was so built up in my mind how delicious it was and I thought surely it couldn't be that good and I would be disappointed because my expectations were so high. But I was never disappointed. It was always the most thrilling sensory experience I could imagine. Every single time. And now it is closed. And I don't know where the chef went (I just googled him and got nothing). And I don't know anyone else who makes this heavenly aji tempura. Googling it shows nothing similar.

Is it really better to have loved and lost?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 7:25 AM on February 28, 2022 [11 favorites]


Is it really better to have loved and lost?

I think so. There used to be a fantastic Thai restaurant in our neighborhood called Poor Siamese. The chef and owner, Su, moved the location a few times over the years from one town to the next, and eventually moved back to Thailand. In years and years of searching, we've never found anyone else who could make red curry anywhere near as good as hers. Nice separation of the fats, not too sweet, perfect balance of sauce to veggies. So, while we still haven't found anywhere that comes close to matching her red curry, we know that it's possible to make it so much better, and so instead of settling, we keep searching.
posted by xedrik at 7:32 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]


I am just delighted by all of this.
posted by zenon at 8:14 AM on February 28, 2022 [4 favorites]


This was such a delight to read.

I never mind spending money on food and the times that I've spent big money, I remember those meals more than some holidays I've taken.

I specifically love that the service got a shout out. The fanciest places I've been to have had amazing staff who are all so attentive and pleasant. Never snooty or condescending, just genuinely engaged and engaging. And in my limited experience, being excited and curious (maybe even a little apprehensive) about the food makes them more excited to be delivering the experience. It's such a skill and it creates an environment where you can really focus on the food.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:34 AM on February 28, 2022 [15 favorites]


I never mind spending money on food and the times that I've spent big money, I remember those meals more than some holidays I've taken.

Have the meals on the vacation and then you can remember both!

The fanciest places I've been to have had amazing staff who are all so attentive and pleasant.

The only fine restaurant I've visited since pandemic times was a kaiseki place that opened recently. I went for joint birthmonth dinner with a law firm friend, and, although the restaurant was next to a very noisy and busy bistro, it was just so serene yet warm. And I'd never had wagyu before, and now I understand the hype.
posted by praemunire at 8:47 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]


This was a great read, thank you for posting mr_stru!
It's very good, clear, simple writing; perfectly expresses the trepidation about the possibility of classist and snobbish behavior so prevalent in 'fancy' venues. Instead, the warmth, the personal attention, and the absolute perfection of the food. How much effort it takes to make perfect food, and a perfect food experience.
Once, I served grilled asparagus to someone who "hated" vegetables; alongside a big steak of course. It was a beautiful moment, they trusted me enough to take a bite of green; they looked surprised, and then happy. It made me so happy, too.
posted by winesong at 9:00 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]


Came here to post this and was just beaten to it. It's just so lovely!

Back in my newspaper reporting days, I once got a freebie trip to a fancy resort in Jamaica - the kind of place I will never, ever, be able to afford to go on my own dime. It had exactly the same brilliant kind of poshness that she describes: When a place is so fancy that they don't have to prove it with stuffiness and gilt, they just do all the straightforward things incredibly well. The result is that you don't feel intimidated, you just feel comfortable and like somebody is really looking after you, and like the staff are genuinely happy you're there.

Compare and contrast a weird press trip I did to Madeira, to a hotel where the dining room felt like some kind of 1950s European aristocratic ballroom and the waiters seemed to be permanently cross with me, I didn't have the right clothes, I didn't understand what was happening, the food they served me didn't seem to match the menu, they seemed to expect me to be with someone else and I wasn't and I swear the waiter huffed audibly as he cleared the extra place that they'd inexplicably set next to mine despite the fact I was travelling alone. I'm still not convinced they didn't think I was somebody else.

(Lest it sound like I've lived a life of undeserved lushness - press trips - where you get a free trip in exchange for a write-up in the paper - were one of the few perks of being an underpaid, overworked reporter, but could be enough to stop you from quitting because when they were good, they were very, very good. You just had to write a review in the paper, they were inevitably favourable write-ups in return for a free holiday, and the newspaper was happy to drop its usual requirement for editorial honesty because it was a perk that could be provided to its underpaid reporters at no cost to itself. So always take newspaper travel sections with a very large pinch of salt).
posted by penguin pie at 9:21 AM on February 28, 2022 [10 favorites]


It's so nice to see some place so local to me on the Blue. Adams is a restaurant I've wanted to visit for years too and I'm so happy she got a chance to experience that.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 9:26 AM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]


I bet serving someone for whom it's a new and wonderful experience is more fun for the staff than if it's a usual thing for the diner.

If you want read something like that (from the chef's point of view, as I recall), I recommend _The Last Chinese Chef_ by Nichole Mones.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:37 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]


It's just like going to a concert. Two or four hours of delight, wonder and satisfaction. That's the way we see it at any rate.

Oh, absolutely! My first and only trip to NYC in 2010--immigration stuff for Canada--with Shepherd was filled with experiences like that. Actually, the meal we remember most was the one at Risotteria with endless yummy crispy breadsticks, the wine special, and a really good staff. Same for our first trip together to London. We ate a meal at River Cafe and it was sublime.
posted by Kitteh at 9:40 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]


If only I had a penguin..., Being a picky eater might not make the experience impossible. Restaurants like that are willing to do a consultation and adjust their offering if you give them notice in advance.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:47 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]


I’m glad she enjoyed the meal, but she doesn’t really say what the food tasted like—real food writers are able to describe the flavors and textures, not just raving about bursts and how divine something was.
posted by Ideefixe at 10:15 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]


I love her bit about licking the plates. I have some friends who are Serious Food Nerds and they have absolutely licked the plates in places like that and gotten applause from the staff.

I've been to a few restaurants like that and I think the servers are often overjoyed to see people actually be into the food and the experience and not either scowling at it or (worse) failing to pay attention at all. Before we were married my wife and I went to one place in DC where the chef had well earned his celebrity status with some incredible cooking. At his flagship restaurant he had a special tasting menu at a restaurant-within-the-restaurant, with a separate open kitchen and seats for maybe 24. We got reservations and when they sent an email a week before our dinner to clarify dietary restrictions and offer a chance for special requests, we asked for a certain table we'd read about on a local discussion board.

During our dinner we realized at some point the staff kept sort of stealing glances at us, trying to figure out who we were. The jig was up in the first of two pasta courses, when they caught us wiping black truffle sauce out of the bowls with our fingers, which we then licked. At that point the majordomo sidled up to the table and murmured, "the next course has the same sauce." We'd paid for the wine pairing, and they got very generous when refilling our glasses (of one the majordomo said "this one's my favorite" as he just flat out poured us second glasses). At some point they asked how we knew about the restaurant since they'd never seen us before, and then they asked, "how'd you know about table 7?" There was a table behind us that drank all the wine but barely touched the food, and I believe there may have been another table with dietary restrictions that may or may not have had any basis in actual need, and there we were, two nobodies just totally into all of it.

That chef's empire later fell apart because, like a lot of chefs, he was a terrible businessman, but man, that was a good night. We slept until like 2 PM the next day.
posted by fedward at 10:47 AM on February 28, 2022 [7 favorites]


“I bet serving someone for whom it's a new and wonderful experience is more fun for the staff than if it's a usual thing for the diner.”

Oh, yeah. In my early twenties I waited tables at mostly fine-dining restaurants and, in particular, I worked at one very ostentatious traditional continental restaurant that typically catered to the kind of people who took it for granted that they were — or wanted to be seen as — the kind of person who frequented such places.

As a result, I had some of the worst and some of the best customers in my experience at that place.

But it was always a joy to serve someone who was new to this and really enjoyed it.

I'm from a thoroughly middle-class background but my maternal grandparents were well-off and, in particular, were part of "society". I was close with my grandmother and she had very good and understated taste. During my young adult years I spent a lot of time with my grandmother. Weekly we'd go to very nice or adventurous restaurants and then see a good film.

I have a vivid memory of her describing how she felt about dining and traveling. Most of her friends and associates she dined and traveled with, she said, stuck to the tourist stops and the familiar and when they dined at the better restaurants, they usually took the experience for granted and rushed through the meal. She felt that a good meal at a good restaurant should be savored over at least a couple of hours and she was always more interested in discovering new places, people, and things. I learned a great deal from her, including how to enjoy an expensive meal and, also, that sometimes the more expensive things are worth every penny.

To me, there's something very off-putting about either the snobs who are affectedly (or truly) indifferent to the good-fortune of enjoying something like this expensive meal, or those who affect a reverse snobbery or just don't or won't have the openness to enjoy something so outside their usual experience.

Too many of the former are just wasting these experiences and you sort of want to say, sorry no more food for you until you're willing to pay attention to what is intended to be an extraordinary experience. (Mind you, too often the experience is extraordinary in that it's just awful or is simply ordinary and overpriced and so, yeah, indifference or complaints are warranted.)

In the case of the latter group — the reverse snobs or those who won't open themselves up to something unusual — well, why were they there in the first place?

It's nice to serve experienced customers who appreciate their meals. But what's much more fun is to serve someone for whom this is truly a very happy discovery. Not just in the food, but hopefully in the service. Those interactions often made me like it was something I really enjoyed doing and that it was worth doing.

Far be it from me to give the impression that there aren't overpriced mediocre or genuinely bad restaurants out there. There are. But there are, I promise, expensive meals available to you that you will always remember very fondly and you will not regret their expense.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 10:48 AM on February 28, 2022 [8 favorites]


"...real food writers..."

Ouch.

And also, "Little tiny bits of finger lime that looked like caviar burst in my mouth in a glorious jubilee while the wasabi played around somewhere near my nose." is wildly evocative.

And also, she is more than capable of describing the flavours and textures of food, as she shows in, for example, this column about frozen pizzas.

Overall, she's talking about the experience of being there, moreso than about the food itself, because that's the point -- that you can be common as muck and still be made perfectly comfortable by the staff in this restaurant and enjoy the amazing food. But that doesn't make her not a real food writer. Jesus Christ.
posted by jacquilynne at 10:49 AM on February 28, 2022 [36 favorites]


how'd you know about table 7?

Go on, what was the deal with table 7 specifically? You can't just leave the hanging there.
posted by vincebowdren at 10:52 AM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]


I am guessing based on the description that fedward is talking about Il Laboratorio where Table 7 was the closest to Chef Roberto Donna's own workstation so you could spend your meal kibbitzing with the man himself.
posted by jacquilynne at 11:08 AM on February 28, 2022 [5 favorites]


In my little town outside Granada, Spain, there's a Michelin starred restaurant a few blocks down the way from me. (There are several in Granada itself!) Thanks especially to this article I am planning a birthday visit there in September.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 11:08 AM on February 28, 2022 [7 favorites]


“That chef's empire later fell apart because, like a lot of chefs, he was a terrible businessman...”

Oh, my. You have no idea.

Of all the restaurants I worked at, in only one case did the owner(s) know what they were doing in regards to running a business. To be fair, I think this is true of small businesses, in general. But it's especially true in the restaurant business. Lots of substance abuse that causes problems, too. And chef/owners were the worst in both respects.

When I lucked into some dotcom money 22 years ago, one of my closest friends was (and still is) a talented chef and, as I feared, the prospect of my help in financing him opening his own place came up.

I explained that when I was young and working in the business, I'd made a resolution to myself to never get financially involved in the business because a) restaurants failed even more frequently than other small businesses do, and that's a lot, and b) I'd seen so many people make bad business decisions that I'd never be willing to invest without also having a lot of control and that this, among other things, sounded like way too much work.

I love good food, I love good restaurants, I have a lot of admiration for talented chefs, and I really enjoyed a lot of the experience. But... no.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 11:09 AM on February 28, 2022 [7 favorites]


Jacquilynne has it. In the primary seating area of the Laboratorio, there were two rows of tables facing the open kitchen. The kitchen was an L shape, with one bar of the L facing those two rows of tables, and the other bar going straight back. The front of the L was where the grill station was, and where plates were staged as they were finished and garnished. There was a big mirror angled over that area, so you could see into it from most of the seats, but they didn't use the grill station that much and plates were mostly finished before they got to the plating/staging area. The side of the L was where most of the actual cooking happened. Table 7 gave you the view into the most of the kitchen. Chef Donna was there but we didn't really get to gab with him. The front of house staff loved us, though.
posted by fedward at 11:13 AM on February 28, 2022 [6 favorites]


I am astonishingly proud of myself for successfully remembering that! It's been a minute since I worked at Chowhound and read about restaurants I will never go to for a living!
posted by jacquilynne at 11:22 AM on February 28, 2022 [8 favorites]


I'm also gonna push back on that "real food writers" thing. I found the article to be very effective food writing and that gatekeeping is both inaccurate and unwelcome.
posted by fedward at 11:25 AM on February 28, 2022 [17 favorites]


The finest restaurant I've ever visited was Morimoto, in Philadelphia. I attended college nearby, so when my friends group--unanimously fans of the original Japanese Iron Chef--learned that Morimoto Masaharu was opening a restaurant, we had to be first in line, no matter the cost.

We were about a dozen extremely enthusiastic college nerds, almost all of us ordering the tasting menu, and we were met with nothing but kindness and generosity. Morimoto-sensei even comped us a couple extra goodies. We were treated like, and we ate like, kings.

Damnhellass kings.

I will never forget the miso-glazed black cod. It was one of the loveliest things ever to pass between my lips.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:49 AM on February 28, 2022 [13 favorites]


This is great.

The food writing and fancy restaurant industry almost always makes me angry. I've had much better street tacos than the food in any of the eight or so Michelin starred restaurants I've been to. (I remain convinced there is no filet mignon worth ordering. "This meat doesn't have any flavor or texture," is a really bizarre criterion.)

But, it's really hard to find fault with this exuberance. Thanks! I'm reminded of my own late-teenage experiences with really good (but not actually world-class) sushi. I didn't express it nearly as well.
posted by eotvos at 11:52 AM on February 28, 2022


I'm not being facetious but I often resort to choosing restaurants based on diner photos rather than anything a review has to say anymore. And I am not kidding, between this and the lips dish restaurant I would've chosen the latter. I am willing to allow that the other restaurant screwed up so badly because it was hit by COVID, not because the two chefs were essentially trying to exploit the guest. And it's worth pointing out that Michelin guide and e.g. NYTimes reviews are based on multiple visits, whereas most bloggers and so forth don't have the means to measure consistency by taking multiple samples over time. (And there's a fallacy of parts: if 8/10 bloggers says a place is great or not, what does that mean to me as an individual? Not much really.)
posted by polymodus at 11:57 AM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]


read about restaurants I will never go to for a living

We ate at Galileo (not the Lab) a couple times after that, and honestly the thing that I miss is the sandwich they did with pork shoulder and broccoli rabe as a lunch takeout thing, which was totally accessible if you had time to wait in line on your lunch hour. By the same token Chef Donna briefly had a place in Crystal City, VA (where Amazon's HQ2 is now) and the best thing there was the risotto balls. We gave up on the rest of the menu there and we'd just sit at the bar and drink happy hour wine and order risotto balls. It wasn't that we couldn't afford the dining room, it was just that the best experience to be had there wasn't at a table.
posted by fedward at 12:12 PM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]


Oh, it wasn't accessibility of the restaurants. I went to some very expensive restaurants during that era of my life. (And many truly amazing ones that weren't expensive at all.) It was just that I lived in Toronto, but was responsible for moderating Chowhound's coverage of restaurants around the world. So I read a lot about restaurants in places I have never been to. I have only been to DC once, for a weekend, and it was to visit friends and we didn't eat in restaurants.
posted by jacquilynne at 12:23 PM on February 28, 2022 [3 favorites]


What a lovely piece! It's a joy to get to share the experience with her.

I've done very few splurge restaurant meals in my life (like ... maybe one?), but her delight made me think for the first time about maybe making it a point to do that, saving up and picking someplace really good once in a while to really revel in an extraordinary meal.

I'm very glad to have gotten a chance to read this. Thank you so much for posting it, mr_stru!
posted by kristi at 12:32 PM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]


I'm reminded of a story about a famous milliner - I don't believe it was Lilly Daché; I think it was a man, but Google is not helping me and I read this long ago - who was asked to create a special hat for a rich customer. They did it just by wrapping ribbon around her head in a certain way, and while she loved the result, she complained about paying so much for just a length of ribbon. The designer unwrapped it and handed it to her, saying she could have the ribbon for free. I love how this article highlights the theme that what you're paying for is the collected knowledge, experience, and commitment of the chef and their staff.

And while there were grammar issues I would have run another pass over in the editing process, I absolutely LOVED that she avoided all the tired clichés and buzzwords so much food writing is bogged down with today. Way too often I come away from food writing thinking it sounds like it was composed by AI. And SO MANY bonus points for not using any of the trendy cutesy baby words like "yummy" or "nibbles."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:13 PM on February 28, 2022 [11 favorites]


Matty Matheson occasionally talks about how he reckons that TV chefs describing how food tastes is stupid - obviously a divisive thing to say but he lives up to it, and I personally dig it - he conveys the joy of food brilliantly without every trying to say "it tastes like X" or "it makes me think of Y" or whatever
posted by liliillliil at 1:26 PM on February 28, 2022


Oh snap, I forgot about the time Shepherd and I went to the cabane a sucre from the chef at Au Pied du Cochon! (Obviously, I was not vegan at the time.) I was new to Canada, and this was my first cabane a sucre but done fancy. We ate so well that we had a food hangover the next day. That's never happened since.
posted by Kitteh at 1:27 PM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]


My spouse and I once dined at at Manresa in Los Gatos (long story short, I found and returned their wine director's lost iPhone, and Chef Kinch was appreciative enough to treat the two of us to a meal). It remains one of the most memorable experiences I've had.
posted by Lexica at 1:42 PM on February 28, 2022 [5 favorites]


I love her bit about licking the plates. I have some friends who are Serious Food Nerds and they have absolutely licked the plates in places like that and gotten applause from the staff.

This is one of the things I've absolutely loved about working in kitchens. Chefs seem to really dig me not just because I was a fast, smart worker but more because I obviously love food and I have no shame and I will absolutely get in to it and try damn near anything.

There's been a bunch of times where my last chef caught me destroying some leftovers or rejects in the kitchen and her response was always something like "Oh, you like fucking with that? You need to try it with *this* or like *this*" and set me up with something new to try out, or even try - and fail - to scare me off by getting decadent ridiculous or even oversized.

There was a few times when I was just mashing something amazing into my pie hole with my hands and licking my fingers, making weird noises and making deeply appreciative eye contact where things got weirdly, uh, sensual to the point it was nearly sexual in energy. Which is a lot of fun when the chef is queer and a total weirdo and into it, too.

And, yeah, we definitely noticed and appreciated it when people licked their plates and really got into it. Like we could tell as dishes came back from a table almost spotlessly clean or with obvious licking marks on them, and I could hold up dishes to the chef from the dish sink and there would be this mutual "Oh fuck yes, look at how clean that plate is!" without saying any words.

There have been many, many times when we'd all be peeking out of the kitchen like a bunch of prarie dogs just watching some table just really get into their food.

This is why when I get a chance to go to really nice places I have no reservations about decorum or being uncouth and leaving common, classist or classical dining etiquette at the door and not worry about small details like which fork to use, or how I hold my cutlery or any of that fine nonsense. Oh no, I'm going to lick my fingers, the plates and make weird noises and get into it.

In hindsight I'm pretty sure that people like taking me out to eat because I'm so entertaining to watch when I'm really into it.
posted by loquacious at 1:56 PM on February 28, 2022 [12 favorites]


Looks like a good meal, and I'm happy that she's happy, but I'm not sure why we need to promote Michelin star restaurants or the Michelin star system. I mean, does it lack publicity? Is it not already sought after? Does it really need more encouragement?

Besides consumers, the rating can be a tremendous stress and negative influence on chefs, and it just promotes this sense of artificial scarcity, elitism, and anxiety in an industry which is already brutal and anxious.
posted by splitpeasoup at 2:17 PM on February 28, 2022


This brought me back decades to when I first discovered the magical flavors and flourishes of "fine dining," "expensive restaurants," or whatever you want to call them. I don't always get the same thrill from them now that I did then, but this story reminds me of that joy.
posted by bendy at 2:29 PM on February 28, 2022 [1 favorite]


What a heartwarming review!

So, I'm a person who was introduced to fine-dining as a toddler. Literally, my first memory is from a dinner at one of our city's best restaurants back in January 1966, before Michelin discovered Copenhagen. I can't and won't hide that I am privileged when it comes to food experiences. But my parents were divorced months after I was born, and my dad's new wife and family was suspicious of "gluttony". He could have gone either way back then, but he ended up with puritanism. In an economic sense, my father's side of the family is as privileged as my mother's. They just have completely different approaches. The result is that I know both sides of this, and I have chosen a side.

My maternal grandmother was from a working class family, but for reasons I don't know much about she grew up with a mind for fresh produce and knowledge of quality. She told me about riding with her dad on a cart to the beach, to trade vegetables from their garden for tuna. At 14 she was sent to work as a live in cook/maid for a posh family in the city where she learnt to cook. They also helped her get a basic secretarial education. From that position she became a secretary at a newspaper and got to know a lot of other young people.
The way she met my granddad was that her friends knew her as a person who could knock up a meal out of nothing (during WWII), and she did so for his best friend's birthday party. I won't say their relationship was based on meals, but it grew out of a common love for hosting friends. Making a meal out of nothing is not posh. It's all about knowledge. My gran had a faux-paella thing that was rice, onions, tomato paste and sardines, it wasn't authentic, but it was quite delicious. But she knew the real deal. When she was too old to cook, she always wanted me to cook the "exotic" dishes she had read about during the war and the years after, when rationing was still on. Like Spanish tortilla. Or osso buco.

This was a long preamble to say that when I was 16, on my first interrail trip, I went to have lunch at Le Train Bleu, in my dirty 70's teenager clothes and wearing a backpack. I had saved up for it for the entire year before. And the staff there treated me as if I were royalty.
I felt I needed to tell you why 16-yo me had the courage to go alone and in jeans to a fine-dining restaurant: I grew up with it, and I grew up with it in a way that wasn't about money or privilige, but about respect and appreciation.

And the same thing happened to my daughter almost exactly 30 years later at her 16th birthday, when she was gifted a dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant by a friend. They were treated to a juice menu on the house and several extra treats.

Whatever you might feel about these places, I can assure you that they really, really enjoy serving people who are there for the experience rather than to show off their money.

One of the traumatic incidents of my teenage life was traveling with my dad and his family through northern France, where the adults decided we couldn't go to any real restaurants because I hadn't brought a dress. It spoke against my personal experience and felt like a passive aggressive punishment. But in hindsight, it was all about their own fears.

I get that there is a joy in dressing up and being all exited about going out. But it must never be something that keeps people out.

And about the money: I don't like concerts much. I like live performances in very small venues, but I will never spend money on a big stadion event or a festival. So I feel it is fair enough that I spend money on fine dining once or twice a year, those years when I can afford it.
posted by mumimor at 2:56 PM on February 28, 2022 [12 favorites]


I loved this piece. The author felt joy, and now she's spreading the joy.

At my favourite place in Wellington (Ombra), there's a bar that snakes past the doorway into the kitchen. I went there with a friend and apologetically, they seated us at the bar opposite that door, right next to the end of the bar where the waiters come out.

My friend asked me about something on the menu he'd never heard of. Just as I was explaining (my Italian is better than Sam's), dude comes out of the kitchen. "Oh, you want to know about [rare ingredient]? Wait a moment." And out comes a little plate of just that special thing, sliced and presented, for Sam to try. And then more things came out that we never asked for, just to show us what they had access to and how they could use it. Kitchen guy explains it all. It was amazing. And when I say it's my favourite, I'm not a regular they know. It was just they saw two dudes a bit confused about what was on offer and went WE ARE GOING TO BLOW THEIR MINDS. And they did, while we perched on bar stools at a counter. To me that's the kind of thing that makes restaurant dining really worth it.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 3:16 PM on February 28, 2022 [12 favorites]


Jacquilynne has it. In the primary seating area of the Laboratorio

I will never fail to be amazed by the breadth and depth of collective experience and expertise among MeFi members...
posted by mikelieman at 3:16 PM on February 28, 2022 [5 favorites]


... I'm not sure why we need to promote Michelin star restaurants or the Michelin star system. I mean, does it lack publicity? Is it not already sought after? Does it really need more encouragement?

Besides consumers, the rating can be a tremendous stress and negative influence on chefs, and it just promotes this sense of artificial scarcity, elitism, and anxiety in an industry which is already brutal and anxious.


While I don't disagree with your general point, in my reading the article was explicitly aimed at and talking about the neophyte experience and to try to demystify and reduce the idea of elitism. I'd be more on the same page if this was in a known foodie journal hyping up an already critical audience to be more critical of an experience.

I don't feel that "common as muck person enjoys great meal" adds a significant amount of pressure onto Michelin star restaurants. There's several anecdotes here about how restauranteurs tend to enjoy more working/middle-class/inexperienced patrons.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:17 PM on February 28, 2022 [9 favorites]


If only I had a penguin... - re: leaves + tempura - perhaps shiso?
posted by jangie at 3:37 PM on February 28, 2022 [4 favorites]


It spoke against my personal experience and felt like a passive aggressive punishment. But in hindsight, it was all about their own fears.

And I'm enjoying this thread so much more than the other doomy ones so I can back to savor more memories of really good food.

Repeating this because it's so true, and I remember feeling very fearful about my very first fine dining experiences when I was about high school age with my grandparents for special occasions.

And then even later as a 30ish adult when a certain MeFite that probably prefers not to be named took me out a bunch of times to some pretty fancy places where we'd generally get baked out of our gourd before hand and show up to some rather fancy places wearing shorts and T-shirts and looking scruffy as hell, and in hindsight I have enjoyed subverting that classist paradigm very much.

And then I learned that even with our surface appearances and scruffiness we were treated really well and I learned that the staff and chefs at these places actually loved people like us who were there to chow down and have a really good time.

And then after that gaining a lot of working experiences in kitchens and learning a lot more about how to cook, and having met so many chefs that really don't for classism or elitism often implied.

Even earlier than this I met someone through an ex partner who was likely the first professional chef I ever met. He also was the first person who I ever heard mention Anthony Bourdain long before he had TV shows. And we had some really amazing chats about cooking and food and the whole situation with being a chef, and how he vastly prefers to cook for anyone and everyone of all stripes, especially friend and family, but the money from being an executive chef was very nice, too.

In hindsight my only regret was not being more adventurous with my menu choices. I should have totally tried the steak tartare that one time. I think I went with something rather boring like a prime rib, potatoes and a really fancy salad.

One of the things I love about restaurant culture and professional cooking is how I've met so many people that are professional chefs that never even went to culinary school.

A whole lot of the industry is a lot less serious than people think it is, and a lot of really good cooks and chefs just started in the dish pit and learned as they went over the years and they just have a natural love for the art of cooking. And are just naturally the sort of people that collect recipe books and inventing their own takes on known recipes and classics.

It doesn't really take much more than that. They like eating, they like cooking, they like the art of cooking, and they like cooking for people and feeding them like it's a religion or performance art.

I've personally witnessed people move from the dish pit to prep to holding down the line to introducing their own menu items, and as shitty and abusive as the restaurant industry can be it's kind of a thing of beauty to see in action.
posted by loquacious at 4:45 PM on February 28, 2022 [9 favorites]


I’ve been to probably a dozen Michelin stared restaurants over the years and I always think of them, and other dine dining destinations, as theater. You’d spend that much on an expensive concert or opera tickets so why not treat a meal as a special occasion but of theater. Michelin is also as much about the quality of service as it is the food.

You can also have amazing meals by going to places that do a prix fixe lunch. I’ve been to many starred places in Italy and France for lunch and gotten away for less than €30. Another great way to do things when don’t want to go all in or can’t get in is to sit at the bar. Most places have similar or the same menu at the bar. I’ve even seen tasting menus at the bar. And many places will do walk-ins. I’ve done this many times in NYC and it’s great way to get to hang out in fancy places.

Also, I sell those fancy-pants mushrooms to restaurants!
posted by misterpatrick at 6:27 PM on February 28, 2022 [10 favorites]


Mmmm, mushrooms.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 7:03 PM on February 28, 2022 [2 favorites]


This has nothing to do with any Michelin restaurant, but how a food experience can be liberating. A couple of years before the pandemic, my husband and I went to a pretty new seafood joint in our town. I forget what we were celebrating, but I was paying, so I got whatever I wanted. It was a place where you could get some decent oysters. Super amazing fries that I can't even properly describe. And a bag of seafood boil to your description. Our lovely server (I swear to many deities that she was a dead ringer for Margaery Tyrell - Natalie Dormer, and so very charming and attentive.) had to explain it to me when I asked for a bucket for the mess. I'd never been to a place where you were expected to leave the refuse on the table and just enjoy wearing that bib. I told my husband that I felt like I should put a napkin over my head as if we were eating ortolans. I also had my very first Pimm's Cup. Luckily, the booths were tall.

I'm sure she's graduated and left town by now, but I left her a powerful tip and a thank-you note for making the entire experience so fun. I mean, the food was good. But she was amazing. Service with a smile and a wink.

That place was on the main bar strip and is now a bar with an electric bull. Or it was. I haven't kept much track in the last couple years.

As soon as I'm feeling brave enough to go eat in a restaurant again, we have one that's just about literally around the corner where the chef has trained with some amazing people. I've stashed some money back. We've had amazing snacks, oysters, fancy drinks, and beers there before, so I know I don't have to dress fancy at all. It's the last place we ate inside almost exactly two years ago.

And now, I'm really fucking hungry. :-)
posted by lilywing13 at 5:37 AM on March 1, 2022 [5 favorites]


And then I learned that even with our surface appearances and scruffiness we were treated really well and I learned that the staff and chefs at these places actually loved people like us who were there to chow down and have a really good time.

When I was a child my best friend's parents, who were middle-class but social climbing, often took us out to places rather above our usual pay grade. As a poor kid raised by wolves, I generally failed to meet expectations in any number of ways on these trips--the wrong kinds of clothes, no knowledge of different forks, a tendency to talk too loudly, clumsy where grace was expected, you name it. But I would eat anything, and with enthusiasm, which my friend's mother especially hated (not ladylike to have appetites!) but which servers and chefs at these places thought was adorable. That nine year old wants the raw oysters? Well give em to her already!

But at one such dinner, where I was feeling entirely unsuited in my too-bright dress and crimped 80s hair alongside my sleek, blonde, subdued bestie in navy cashmere, there was suddenly a ruckus from the next table. A small army of drag queens had taken the booth. They were loud, bright, stylish, and were having the time of their fucking lives, and they were clearly both regulars and favorites of the staff. I immediately felt better; these loud bright people not only belonged and were welcome, but were obviously the coolest people in the goddamn room. I never felt like a fancy restaurant wasn't "for me" again.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 7:31 AM on March 1, 2022 [23 favorites]


Signed up for all of it




posted by sophrontic at 8:04 AM on March 1, 2022 [1 favorite]


I’ve been to this restaurant a few times and enjoyed the food (and inspired wine pairings), but Front of House management has been so classist and shittily racist that I’ve stopped going there. Carter’s of Moseley offers the same quality without the risk of being literally refused service if you don’t look the right sort.

That said, I absolutely love the joy and poetry of her review!
posted by LMGM at 7:52 AM on March 2, 2022 [1 favorite]


Actually, reflecting on my parents and I dining at Bouley reminded me of another similar meal at a lower-end, but still decent, restaurant. We'd been wandering around the Village and found this little Italian place and wandered in. It was during the lull between the big lunch crowd and the big dinner rush, but they seated us anyway, and that just lead to the waiter being a little more attentive than usual.

Well - Patercallipygos is one of the more gregarious people on the planet, and so when the waiter got chatty with us, Dad got chatty right back. I can't remember who mentioned seafood first - but whichever one said that they liked fishing, the other one's eyes lit up, and they started comparing notes about fishing in Cape Cod vs. fishing off the coast of Naples.

Meanwhile, they were bringing us these beautifully simple dishes - the kind of food I ultimately love, where they pick really good quality ingredients and then just get out of their way and let the ingredients shine. just the right amounts of balsamic vinegar seasoning the perfect tomatoes in the bruschetta, which was atop a perfectly toasted bit of bread...that kind of thing.

The more we got into it, and the more Dad bonded with our first waiter, the happier our waiter got - to the point that he started to bring other waiters over to our table, not to serve us but just to chat ("tell Marco here what you were saying about that fish, the bluefish?") and that made Dad even happier, and the waiters all got into us even more.

By the end of the meal my father had given his address out to two of the waiters and signed the guest book as well. My parents got Christmas cards from them every year for years, and then when the restaurant finally closed they sent my parents a couple of the framed paintings they'd had on the wall as a gift.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:28 PM on March 3, 2022 [8 favorites]


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