Welcome to Flowchella
March 17, 2022 3:56 PM   Subscribe

Welcome to Flowchella!! It's March, it's Minnesota, it's time for salad and flow: the members of the 2022 Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team - and over 100,000 fans - descend upon the many rinks of the Twin Cities to show off their mullets, their stripes, and a little bit of hockey as well as the hair.


We had a fantastic Class 2A Championship game between Andover and Maple Grove. Andover - whose team members shared one gigantic bottle of peroxide salad dressing - and Maple Grove fought to be the pride of the north metro when Andover put it away in the 8th minute of double overtime. It must have been the peroxide.


In the third place game we had Mahtomedi vs. Alexandria.
The name Mahtomedi which comes from the Dakota word for White Bear Lake, home of the viral video featuring the non-hockey-playing bear falling on the ice over and over again while Goldy the Golden Gopher looks on. Perhaps if the Bear had some more flow he'd have better traction on the ice? Uff da! Luckily, the Mahtomedi Boys hockey team had better balance and beat Alec, 4-2.

Like the 2A game, the A Championship game went into overtime. #1 seeded Hermantown topped #2 seeded Warroad with a goal at 3:02 in OT, and the defense held on for the win. In addition to competing on the rink, these two towns compete onscreen: Warroad in the documentary “The Road Through Warroad” and Hermantown in “Hockeyland”. Neither movie's IMDB page mentions hairdressers, which is a real shame. We know that the key to success in Minnesota Boys Hockey comes down to two things: getting your first skates right after you take your first step, and making sure that you've got the best darn hockey hair in the northland.

As always, the Minnesota State High School All Hockey Hair Team is sponsored by the Hendrickson Foundation, which brings Sled, Special, Military, and Blind Hockey to Minnesota. Hockey is for Everyone.
posted by Gray Duck (20 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
Stay greasy, boys (and I don't mean the hair).
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 4:23 PM on March 17

A yearly treat, thank you. Wheel, snipe, celly.
posted by JoeZydeco at 4:44 PM on March 17 [2 favorites]

From his 2021 instalment..“Occasionally, a nose got out of a mask. I love a loose nose. It really helps you smell the freedum!”…so as a Canadian, I'd like to send a hearty, “F*CK YOU” to this guy and all the traitorous Ontario dipshits begging for the GQP to come and ‘liberate’ them.
posted by brachiopod at 4:49 PM on March 17 [3 favorites]

Great post, Gray Duck! I never miss the MN high school hockey tournament ( or tournamentS, as we now have girls' hockey as well!), and we had stellar championship games this year.
posted by mefireader at 5:06 PM on March 17 [1 favorite]

This is a beautiful thing.
posted by rhizome at 5:36 PM on March 17

Are the "lettuce/salad" terms a constant, or do they change?
posted by rhizome at 5:37 PM on March 17

Beat me to it. Thanks, fellow North Star State-r!
posted by wenestvedt at 6:05 PM on March 17

(My high school lost to some semi-pro players, but I'm not bitter.)
posted by wenestvedt at 6:08 PM on March 17

Wow, has it been a year already? I guess this is how I know it's spring now.
posted by biogeo at 9:23 PM on March 17

Mr Narrator seemed a little less enthusiastic than in past videos but maybe he's out of practice. Still, always nice to be able to spend some time at the Salad Bar.

nice flow, boys!
posted by jazon at 9:30 PM on March 17 [1 favorite]

Watching that first OT link, I’m amazed at how good the players are. That last pass and goal were NHL pace and quality!
posted by freecellwizard at 4:50 AM on March 18

Ooooh, I think the mid-Atlantic equivalent is Lacrosse Hair
posted by timdiggerm at 6:07 AM on March 18

My daughter has two classes with #9. SO PROUD!
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:07 AM on March 18

Lord of the Rinks is my Flowchella highlight
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:12 AM on March 18

Okay, so here's something I don't understand: Are the hairstyles deliberately outrageous (and, for the most part, terrible)? Like, are they doing it for fun? Or are these actually considered cool hairstyles in Minnesota high schools and/or the subculture of the Minnesota high school hockey community?
posted by slkinsey at 12:23 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]

It is cool to have outrageous hair if you are a hockey-playing boy in Minnesota. You won’t otherwise see hair like this on Minnesota teens, except for the other subtypes of teens who might have outrageous hair.
posted by Comet Bug at 12:40 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]

If you like the quality of tourney hockey, a guy has posted bunch of the games. Not sure how legal they are, but here's the Youtube link to the entire Class AA title game.

It went to two overtimes so it's three hours, but Louie Nanne said it's one of the funnest games he's called in 58 years doing the tournament. (And yes, he's been doing the tourney most years since 1964. Here's a story about that: https://www.usahockey.com/news_article/show/1001636 )
posted by Cris E at 1:07 PM on March 18

I can second, the Class AA title game is the most fun I've ever had watching a hockey game. It was bonkers fun.
posted by mcstayinskool at 6:13 PM on March 18

Are the hairstyles deliberately outrageous

There is a culture with the hair amongst hockey playing youth here, but the biggest reason they're doing it now is the youtube video of the FPP. Everyone here knows about the All Hair Team.

Minneapolis made the state tournament for the first time in a few decades. Almost their entire team peroxided their hair for the event. Ironically, it was one of the few kids that didn't that made the Hair Team.
posted by mcstayinskool at 6:17 PM on March 18 [1 favorite]

Minnesota has a big hockey culture (I often describe us as Canada Lite). The high school hockey tournament was nationally televised way back in the early '90s when I was still elementary school. It's been a really really big deal for a LONG time.

The hair thing just evolved as such things do in subcultures and then grew along with the annual video's audience as Mcstayinskool says.

I don't really care about hockey (please don't tell anyone else in Minnesota) but LOVE the annual All-Hair team video. Everyone knows about the tournament but whether or not you like hockey these videos are fantastic. They feel very Minnesota and I can't really describe it beyond that.

Don't we have a women's tournament too? Can we get a hockey hair vid for them too?
posted by VTX at 8:12 AM on March 19

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