And the national anti-aviation citation this year goes to. . .
March 19, 2022 5:08 PM Subscribe
"What do you say when a guy walks up to you, stares squarely into your light brown eyeballs and says: 'Buddy, man will never fly!'" The
Man Will Never Fly Memorial Society
was founded in 1959 to combat the global conspiracy that claims human flight has
happened.
Via Kelly Weill's book Off the Edge about the Flat Earth conspiracy theories.
Via Kelly Weill's book Off the Edge about the Flat Earth conspiracy theories.
That should be "Kelly Weill's book." Even when I'm looking at a name while typing it, I usually get it wrong. Sorry.
posted by eotvos at 5:19 PM on March 19, 2022
posted by eotvos at 5:19 PM on March 19, 2022
I, for one, am quite impressed with the secret technology by which they moved me between Melbourne and London within 24 hours without my ever leaving the ground. Either that or angry at the Illuminati for covering up the fact that I could have made the trip myself on a bicycle within a long weekend.
posted by acb at 5:22 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by acb at 5:22 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
> In 1966, when the state supreme court made drinking in public illegal, the society went so far as to threaten to relocate. [...] That year, the group also changed its motto to “Birds fly, men drink (but it ain’t easy in North Carolina).”
the society shares similar goals and values as intervarsity darts leagues
posted by are-coral-made at 5:47 PM on March 19, 2022
the society shares similar goals and values as intervarsity darts leagues
posted by are-coral-made at 5:47 PM on March 19, 2022
1959 is also a key year in the Birds Aren’t Real chronology.
posted by migurski at 5:51 PM on March 19, 2022
posted by migurski at 5:51 PM on March 19, 2022
Bird's *aren't* real. Those feathered things flapping around out there? They're just dinosaurs.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 6:16 PM on March 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 6:16 PM on March 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
It must have been hell arranging conventions.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:50 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:50 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
Mod note: Fixed the name, fly on.
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:52 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 6:52 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
There are no multistory buildings. Other "floors" are parallel universes. "Stairs" and "ramps" are easily understood as just space warps that are powered by kinetic motion. "Elevators" are merely motorized space warps. Simply put, an "airplane" is merely an oversized glorified elevator.
posted by otherchaz at 7:18 PM on March 19, 2022
posted by otherchaz at 7:18 PM on March 19, 2022
There are no multistory buildings. Other "floors" are parallel universes. "Stairs" and "ramps" are easily understood as just space warps…Reminds of the way 3D Realms' Build engine implemented "room over room".
posted by Strutter Cane - United Planets Stilt Patrol at 7:37 PM on March 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
This story of this book shamelessly flies in the face of the fact that man has never printed!
posted by rhizome at 7:56 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by rhizome at 7:56 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
I see that you too have been fooled into thinking there's no human flight. But the truth is right there in the slogan "Birds fly, men drink." It's not that airplanes don't exist. It's that men don't fly the planes. All pilots are women and non-binary people.
posted by medusa at 8:11 PM on March 19, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by medusa at 8:11 PM on March 19, 2022 [6 favorites]
Reminds of the way 3D Realms' Build engine implemented "room over room".
Look, you can pretend you inhabit a reality with as many dimensions as you want, but at the end of the day, it's all encoded on a single continuous tape in a Turing machine.
posted by Mayor West at 8:28 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
Look, you can pretend you inhabit a reality with as many dimensions as you want, but at the end of the day, it's all encoded on a single continuous tape in a Turing machine.
posted by Mayor West at 8:28 PM on March 19, 2022 [3 favorites]
I, for one, am quite impressed with the secret technology by which they moved me between Melbourne and London within 24 hours without my ever leaving the ground.
don't forget the odd windows and the eyedrops they sneak on you when you're not looking - my sight was so messed up that every time i looked out, it really DID look like i was way up in the sky looking down
how tricky of them
posted by pyramid termite at 8:33 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
don't forget the odd windows and the eyedrops they sneak on you when you're not looking - my sight was so messed up that every time i looked out, it really DID look like i was way up in the sky looking down
how tricky of them
posted by pyramid termite at 8:33 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
Fixed the name, fly on.
The name has not been fixed, as Weill is misspelled "Weil".
posted by StrikeTheViol at 9:02 PM on March 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
The name has not been fixed, as Weill is misspelled "Weil".
posted by StrikeTheViol at 9:02 PM on March 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
It's that men don't fly the planes. All pilots are women and non-binary people.They do directly link to the Ninety-Nines on their site, so you may be on to something. (But, I'm not going to refer to any pilots as birds. Both for ethical reasons, and 'cause I expect I'd get boxed on the ears for being rude, or worse.)
posted by eotvos at 9:31 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
Mod note: Name fixed again. Weill get it right sooner or later.
posted by taz (staff) at 11:04 PM on March 19, 2022 [13 favorites]
posted by taz (staff) at 11:04 PM on March 19, 2022 [13 favorites]
The truth, of course, is always in the second-to-last paragraph:
If you want to know the truth of why this organization was formed, I can tell you in three words. We were lonesome.
Now that may also be meant tongue in cheek, but it seems the core of so many conspiracy-based social groups, with the internet only serving as rocket fuel for those connections in our day and age. Add in a little context collapse and poof! Hey presto, the phrase “tongue in cheek” is suddenly lost….
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 11:51 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
If you want to know the truth of why this organization was formed, I can tell you in three words. We were lonesome.
Now that may also be meant tongue in cheek, but it seems the core of so many conspiracy-based social groups, with the internet only serving as rocket fuel for those connections in our day and age. Add in a little context collapse and poof! Hey presto, the phrase “tongue in cheek” is suddenly lost….
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 11:51 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]
Hey presto, the phrase “tongue in cheek” is suddenly lost….
This is why we need the ironics typeface once proposed by HL Mencken (or Bernard Levin? or Tom Driberg?). The idea has an interesting history.
posted by Paul Slade at 2:38 AM on March 20, 2022 [4 favorites]
This is why we need the ironics typeface once proposed by HL Mencken (or Bernard Levin? or Tom Driberg?). The idea has an interesting history.
posted by Paul Slade at 2:38 AM on March 20, 2022 [4 favorites]
Ironics typeface - fascinating article, Paul Slade! (1) Does anyone know of a way to do a backslant font in web postings such as this page? Not as an image or PDF but as a font or font effect. Right, not the spirit of html, but still.... (2) Does any language or culture have a way to distinguish sarcasm from irony? Recently I was accused of sarcasm when I mildly intended just to observe an irony.
posted by gregoreo at 3:45 AM on March 20, 2022
posted by gregoreo at 3:45 AM on March 20, 2022
🍔
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 4:38 AM on March 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 4:38 AM on March 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
Airplanes actually drive through secret underground tunnels and all the windows are just tv screens to trick you planes aren't real - Ross Pal
posted by Apocryphon at 7:07 AM on March 20, 2022
posted by Apocryphon at 7:07 AM on March 20, 2022
I had a completely sincere moment of dread thinking this was going to be the next thing that we were all going to have to fight about online. It was like when my coworker had a dream about a nailshower (where roofing nails came down from the sky) and a little part of my brain went, "shit, climate change has gotten really bad."
posted by selfmedicating at 8:10 AM on March 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by selfmedicating at 8:10 AM on March 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
Airplanes actually drive through secret underground tunnels and all the windows are just tv screens to trick you planes aren't real - Ross Pal
Stephen Fry once told the story of taking a commercial flight in Australia where the the pilot announced they were ready to depart by saying: "It's time to move some service down the aisles and some scenery past the windows".
posted by Paul Slade at 8:30 AM on March 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
Stephen Fry once told the story of taking a commercial flight in Australia where the the pilot announced they were ready to depart by saying: "It's time to move some service down the aisles and some scenery past the windows".
posted by Paul Slade at 8:30 AM on March 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
Does any language or culture have a way to distinguish sarcasm from irony?
A number of Tumblr and Discord communities have taken to tone indicators and use /s (sarcasm), /j (joking), /hj (half joking), /rh (rhetorical), /f (fake), /g (genuine), etc… but I don’t think I’ve ever seen an /i, which means you could probably make it happen!
posted by brook horse at 8:34 AM on March 20, 2022
A number of Tumblr and Discord communities have taken to tone indicators and use /s (sarcasm), /j (joking), /hj (half joking), /rh (rhetorical), /f (fake), /g (genuine), etc… but I don’t think I’ve ever seen an /i, which means you could probably make it happen!
posted by brook horse at 8:34 AM on March 20, 2022
Speaking of the ninety nines, I just finished reading 'the calculating stars', which starts pretty grim but later has lots of amazing women pilots. I recommend it!
posted by Acari at 9:05 AM on March 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Acari at 9:05 AM on March 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
My kind of people. If their logo was a little more streamlined I would buy some merch.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:13 AM on March 20, 2022
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:13 AM on March 20, 2022
saw several small children yesterday, pointing at pigeons and saying "look, chickens!". I guess the kids know something we don't...
posted by supermedusa at 10:47 AM on March 20, 2022
posted by supermedusa at 10:47 AM on March 20, 2022
As people in Australia know, all birds are special cases of chickens.
posted by acb at 3:04 PM on March 20, 2022
posted by acb at 3:04 PM on March 20, 2022
It's a shame that conspiracy theories are so rampant that I can't just enjoy this without thinking to myself "Best not to give it too much oxygen".
posted by gee_the_riot at 9:16 AM on March 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by gee_the_riot at 9:16 AM on March 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
There are no multistory buildings. Other "floors" are parallel universes. "Stairs" and "ramps" are easily understood as just space warps that are powered by kinetic motion. "Elevators" are merely motorized space warps. Simply put, an "airplane" is merely an oversized glorified elevator.
My place of work has tons of elevators. Around the time I started working there, I have often wondered...... what if it was the elevators that were stationary and the building moved up and down? I had thoughts of a stranger in a strange land story where someone is plucked from our world and placed in that one. The pluckee is gobsmacked. The gumshoe they follow around is just inured to it all, as one would be having seen it all their life.
This is exactly as far as I've come in the story and it's free for anyone to do with as they will. Bonus points if you share it with me.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 4:57 PM on March 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
My place of work has tons of elevators. Around the time I started working there, I have often wondered...... what if it was the elevators that were stationary and the building moved up and down? I had thoughts of a stranger in a strange land story where someone is plucked from our world and placed in that one. The pluckee is gobsmacked. The gumshoe they follow around is just inured to it all, as one would be having seen it all their life.
This is exactly as far as I've come in the story and it's free for anyone to do with as they will. Bonus points if you share it with me.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 4:57 PM on March 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
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posted by eotvos at 5:09 PM on March 19, 2022 [2 favorites]