Are we the baddies?
March 22, 2022 8:19 PM Subscribe
A Twitter thread of a collection of Space Force unit emblems, assembled by Ben.
(title origin for those unfamiliar)
Nice, these callouts will be handy for the latest Destiny 2 raid.
"SHOOT THE FUGGEN SPACE OPERATIONS SQUADRON EMBLEM!"
"I DID, THE DOOR DIDN'T OPEN!"
"THAT'S CAUSE YOU SHOT THE 22ND INSTEAD OF THE 23RD!"
"WELL YOU SHOULDA SAID."
"Ok guys that's a wipe. Just jump off the map."
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:48 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
"SHOOT THE FUGGEN SPACE OPERATIONS SQUADRON EMBLEM!"
"I DID, THE DOOR DIDN'T OPEN!"
"THAT'S CAUSE YOU SHOT THE 22ND INSTEAD OF THE 23RD!"
"WELL YOU SHOULDA SAID."
"Ok guys that's a wipe. Just jump off the map."
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:48 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
These look like something a 13-year old 80s kid would draw on a Pee-Chee folder
posted by The otter lady at 8:55 PM on March 22, 2022 [13 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 8:55 PM on March 22, 2022 [13 favorites]
These are sort of mild compared to a lot of terrestrial American units. The octopus one, though? Barely filed the skull off of it. Guys (and I would bet that it's 100% guys who came up with these), just do the Romulan Warbird. Have Darth Vader riding a mugato and get it out of your system.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:57 PM on March 22, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:57 PM on March 22, 2022 [8 favorites]
What are they planning to do that they need a charging bear mascot & a yeti with a spear and all of this. We don't need these services whatever they are.
posted by bleep at 9:13 PM on March 22, 2022 [15 favorites]
posted by bleep at 9:13 PM on March 22, 2022 [15 favorites]
National Reconnaissance Office classified satellite mission patches: Collect the complete set.
For the Kids: Coloring pages and printable valentines.
I wonder what they have in store for next Christmas!
posted by Metacircular at 9:20 PM on March 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
For the Kids: Coloring pages and printable valentines.
I wonder what they have in store for next Christmas!
posted by Metacircular at 9:20 PM on March 22, 2022 [7 favorites]
It's worth noting that those NROL patches represent among them at least eighteen Hubble-class telescopes (the Keyhole-11 series). They made so many that they ended up with two spare telescopes just sitting around that they offered to just give to NASA. NASA is basically the world's third highest-budget space program, after NRO and DoD's space initiatives, and it's a distant third at that.
posted by tclark at 9:35 PM on March 22, 2022 [20 favorites]
posted by tclark at 9:35 PM on March 22, 2022 [20 favorites]
I kind of want the dumpster fire one but they're sold out.
posted by jackmakrl at 9:39 PM on March 22, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by jackmakrl at 9:39 PM on March 22, 2022 [11 favorites]
The "Chinese guardian lion" is was an interesting choice.
posted by kschang at 9:41 PM on March 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by kschang at 9:41 PM on March 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Who draws these, and why? I'm kind of disturbed that the military puts so much emphasis on each group having its own individual metal band emblem. Let me guess, they each cost $5,000 to design?
posted by JHarris at 10:00 PM on March 22, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 10:00 PM on March 22, 2022 [6 favorites]
@SocSoothsayer: "Im convicted unit logos are just made by whoever in the unit doodled the coolest dragon in a meeting"
He is... not wrong. And probably vectorized by the person who was best at Powerpoint. Corel Draw if they're lucky.
It should be clarified that these appear to be "morale patches", basically just "for fun" insignia that can be worn informally, typically obtained at one's own expense. They are distinct from the official Distinctive Unit Insignia, which are designed for various units by the United States Army Institute of Heraldry according to a consistent scheme, and are worn officially. The Institute for Heraldry apparently employs 22 government civilians, per Wikipedia, so that's where the money is being spent on insignia. (They do supply insignia to the entire Federal government, though, so ~20 people doesn't seem unreasonable.)
Anyway, yeah. They're silly and over-the-top because they're sort of allowed to be silly and over-the-top. It's a way of letting units display a sort of group identity in a fairly benign way. And once established, now it's a sort of weird military folk-art tradition, up there with painting faces on fighter planes or chalking notes to the enemy on the noses of shells.
One story I've heard is that they're descended from the hand-made division insignia that were created by soldiers when the Army was being rapidly reorganized into larger units for WWI. Rather than simple numerals, Pershing is said to have allowed the divisions to invent their own, to help them build an identity as cohesive units. (Such was the story as told to me by a museum docent once; might be apocryphal, and there's certainly a longer history of military insignia that they are part of.)
Let me guess, they each cost $5,000 to design?
Kinda doubt the people these are made by or for are charging by the hour.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:13 PM on March 22, 2022 [45 favorites]
He is... not wrong. And probably vectorized by the person who was best at Powerpoint. Corel Draw if they're lucky.
It should be clarified that these appear to be "morale patches", basically just "for fun" insignia that can be worn informally, typically obtained at one's own expense. They are distinct from the official Distinctive Unit Insignia, which are designed for various units by the United States Army Institute of Heraldry according to a consistent scheme, and are worn officially. The Institute for Heraldry apparently employs 22 government civilians, per Wikipedia, so that's where the money is being spent on insignia. (They do supply insignia to the entire Federal government, though, so ~20 people doesn't seem unreasonable.)
Anyway, yeah. They're silly and over-the-top because they're sort of allowed to be silly and over-the-top. It's a way of letting units display a sort of group identity in a fairly benign way. And once established, now it's a sort of weird military folk-art tradition, up there with painting faces on fighter planes or chalking notes to the enemy on the noses of shells.
One story I've heard is that they're descended from the hand-made division insignia that were created by soldiers when the Army was being rapidly reorganized into larger units for WWI. Rather than simple numerals, Pershing is said to have allowed the divisions to invent their own, to help them build an identity as cohesive units. (Such was the story as told to me by a museum docent once; might be apocryphal, and there's certainly a longer history of military insignia that they are part of.)
Let me guess, they each cost $5,000 to design?
Kinda doubt the people these are made by or for are charging by the hour.
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:13 PM on March 22, 2022 [45 favorites]
NRO gold.
How many of these are a variation of space ghost coast to coast.
NSA coloring book
posted by clavdivs at 10:37 PM on March 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
How many of these are a variation of space ghost coast to coast.
NSA coloring book
posted by clavdivs at 10:37 PM on March 22, 2022 [1 favorite]
For fighting purposes I understand but are we expecting space battles? Any time soon?
posted by bleep at 10:38 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by bleep at 10:38 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
Man the Distinctive Unit Insignia's are really really cool (not the best initialism though).
posted by Carillon at 11:12 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Carillon at 11:12 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
For fighting purposes I understand but are we expecting space battles? Any time soon?
I think the DoD's answer, at least, is implicit in the existence of a military Space Force (or its predecessor organizations, mostly in the Air Force) in general. They view it as a contested domain that can be controlled and exploited for national advantage. So, yeah, kinda?
Though there's certainly a broader question in whether having an explicitly military space program that's only very loosely coupled with the civilian space program is a good idea, and beyond that whether consolidating the space mission into a distinct "Space Force" (and not into a cross-service agency like NGA or NRO) made much sense outside Trumpland.
(But hey, I've always thought the ICBM force should belong to the Army Artillery branch and not the Air Force, so clearly nobody's been along to ask my opinion.)
Anyway, it's also kind of a thing that units with the most mundane jobs tend to have the most over-the-top morale patches. Possibly because they just have more people sitting around staring at screens with nothing more entertaining than Microsoft Office to keep themselves busy. E.g.: one of the OG silly morale patches (and subject of a Wired article years ago) was the infamous Nuclear Missile Combat Crew patch where "Death Wears Bunny Slippers".
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:24 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
I think the DoD's answer, at least, is implicit in the existence of a military Space Force (or its predecessor organizations, mostly in the Air Force) in general. They view it as a contested domain that can be controlled and exploited for national advantage. So, yeah, kinda?
Though there's certainly a broader question in whether having an explicitly military space program that's only very loosely coupled with the civilian space program is a good idea, and beyond that whether consolidating the space mission into a distinct "Space Force" (and not into a cross-service agency like NGA or NRO) made much sense outside Trumpland.
(But hey, I've always thought the ICBM force should belong to the Army Artillery branch and not the Air Force, so clearly nobody's been along to ask my opinion.)
Anyway, it's also kind of a thing that units with the most mundane jobs tend to have the most over-the-top morale patches. Possibly because they just have more people sitting around staring at screens with nothing more entertaining than Microsoft Office to keep themselves busy. E.g.: one of the OG silly morale patches (and subject of a Wired article years ago) was the infamous Nuclear Missile Combat Crew patch where "Death Wears Bunny Slippers".
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:24 PM on March 22, 2022 [2 favorites]
One had a Russian vibe with the bear.
posted by chefcraig at 1:17 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by chefcraig at 1:17 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I read a manga series about teenagers fighting aliens from another dimension (and competing against each other) in fake video game bodies and their squads have better emblems than these.
posted by May Kasahara at 3:14 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by May Kasahara at 3:14 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Many years ago, soon after Gulf War 2, I went to a gun fair in Dallas just because I was curious to see what happened at these events. One of the stalls was selling military patches.
My favourite showed a picture of Elmer Fudd in full hunting gear with his rifle and the words: "Ssh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Iwaquis!" I can't remember the name of the unit that had produced it now, but I kinda wish I'd bought one.
posted by Paul Slade at 3:17 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
My favourite showed a picture of Elmer Fudd in full hunting gear with his rifle and the words: "Ssh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Iwaquis!" I can't remember the name of the unit that had produced it now, but I kinda wish I'd bought one.
posted by Paul Slade at 3:17 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I was really happy about my vintage COBE satellite souvenir mugs, until I realized the side zoom collaborators see when I drink with my right hand is a phallic missile with no explanation.
posted by eotvos at 3:45 AM on March 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by eotvos at 3:45 AM on March 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
These look like something a 13-year old 80s kid would draw on a Pee-Chee folderI was looking for the awesome cobra I drew as the emblem for some sort of subunit within my Boy Scout troop.
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 4:10 AM on March 23, 2022
Some of these do have very "are we the baddies?" vibes. That skull--why isn't there just a blanket "no skulls" rule for these things? And that HYDRA/SPECTRE expy is just completely inappropriate. I'm surprised there's no imperial crest from Star Wars because at least that would be hilarious considering the Space Force appropriated the Star Trek logo.
Speaking of which--we drove down to the Cape last fall and there's a rather impressive "U.S. SPACE FORCE" sign complete with the Star Trek delta next to the offramp at the first exit past the canal. Given it's location overlooking our own iconic bridge which you could totally see if the Market Basket wasn't in the way, it did feel very Star Trek.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:12 AM on March 23, 2022
Speaking of which--we drove down to the Cape last fall and there's a rather impressive "U.S. SPACE FORCE" sign complete with the Star Trek delta next to the offramp at the first exit past the canal. Given it's location overlooking our own iconic bridge which you could totally see if the Market Basket wasn't in the way, it did feel very Star Trek.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:12 AM on March 23, 2022
My favourite showed a picture of Elmer Fudd in full hunting gear with his rifle and the words: "Ssh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Iwaquis!"
That's ghastly and inappropriate for so many different reasons.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:20 AM on March 23, 2022 [14 favorites]
That's ghastly and inappropriate for so many different reasons.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:20 AM on March 23, 2022 [14 favorites]
We don't need these services whatever they are.
Here are the things the US Space Force does that you might miss out on:
-Operation of the GPS constellation
-Cataloging and tracking of all manmade objects in orbit around Earth
-Strategic early warning for ballistic missiles
-Basically all space launches, civilian or military, that occur in the contiguous 48 states
The tentacly octopus squadron basically makes sure satellites don't rain down on our heads at all times.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:26 AM on March 23, 2022 [12 favorites]
Here are the things the US Space Force does that you might miss out on:
-Operation of the GPS constellation
-Cataloging and tracking of all manmade objects in orbit around Earth
-Strategic early warning for ballistic missiles
-Basically all space launches, civilian or military, that occur in the contiguous 48 states
The tentacly octopus squadron basically makes sure satellites don't rain down on our heads at all times.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:26 AM on March 23, 2022 [12 favorites]
The guardian lion one is pretty dope.
posted by biogeo at 5:41 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by biogeo at 5:41 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
This is a limited sample, but I think it's striking that there's no kickass Statues of Liberty wearing space helmets and holding shields or bald eagles placing satellites in orbit with their talons. Our nation has a whole catalogue of symbols which we accept as representations of the better angels of our nature to draw from, but these guys went right to the human skulls and fictional supervillain logos.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:52 AM on March 23, 2022 [16 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:52 AM on March 23, 2022 [16 favorites]
While you're looking at these patches, check out Trevor Paglen's work documenting classified military insignia. He does a lot more than collect patches and challenge coins, too. Here's one of many previous FPPs about his work.
posted by msbrauer at 5:53 AM on March 23, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by msbrauer at 5:53 AM on March 23, 2022 [8 favorites]
Pfeh. All Death Star, no Voltron.
posted by phooky at 6:10 AM on March 23, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by phooky at 6:10 AM on March 23, 2022 [5 favorites]
I'm glad someone mentioned Trevor Paglen's work. I was ready to jump in with the same.
According to Paglan, there is a lot of symbolism in these unit patches (along with some really poor Latin grammar). The number of stars might represent how many spy satellites a unit has responsibility over, for example.
posted by thecjm at 6:21 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
According to Paglan, there is a lot of symbolism in these unit patches (along with some really poor Latin grammar). The number of stars might represent how many spy satellites a unit has responsibility over, for example.
posted by thecjm at 6:21 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Just commenting to say that this entire thread is solid gold and it's exactly why I keep coming back to this marvelous website.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:39 AM on March 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:39 AM on March 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'm getting the dumpster fire patch on a coffee mug asap.
posted by djseafood at 7:20 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by djseafood at 7:20 AM on March 23, 2022
Looking at the 12th Space Warning Squadron (suggested motto: "quick, we need to warn space!"), I'm wondering "What happened in 1961?"
posted by adamrice at 7:22 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by adamrice at 7:22 AM on March 23, 2022
[the manga series] squads have better emblems than these.
I mean, obviously at some point it's a matter of taste, but those emblems are ...boring as hell as far as I'm concerned.
What they have is a consistent design and symbology. But again, there's an entire set of "official" unit emblems with a consistent schema produced for that purpose. The point of a unit morale patch is that, in a sea of enforced uniformity and top-down organizational schema, it's the place you're allowed to be, as part of a unit, outwardly different from everybody else. It's kind of the "wacky tie" of the modern military uniform.
there's no kickass Statues of Liberty
The Statue of Liberty as a symbol is pretty connected with New York, and NYC in particular. The NY National Guard use a stylized Crown of Liberty superimposed with a sword, which is pretty neat if you're into a sort of minimalist aesthetic. The 104th Infantry Regiment, NY Guard, patch is centered around Liberty's Torch, on a blue field surrounded by stars and below what appears to be a Cross of Saint George, for some reason.
Eagles, in particular, are usually connected with aviation in some way, e.g. airborne units. The canonical example is probably the 101st Airborne's "Screaming Eagle" patch. The 12th Combat Aviation Brigade has a pretty dope shoulder patch consisting of an eagle that's... on fire? (Correction: A phoenix.) And they also have a rather interesting DUI (official insignia) featuring "nine gold tongues of flame issuant from a common center with orange at their centers and their outer ends curled inwardly in a clockwise direction; separating the flames into three groups three blue wings emerging from a red disc in center the lower portion of this design enclosed by a gold scroll bearing the motto "AD EXCELSUM CONAMUR" in red letters." Lest we miss the point, the Heraldry folks spell it right out: "A mythological phoenix symbol, depicted in heraldry as a demi-eagle with wings displayed rising out of flames of fire and said to represent hope and life eternal, is the basis for this design."
Anyway, if you want to see consistency and a more, uh, traditional set of symbols that have been officially vetted and given Big Army approval, you might find the Institute of Heraldry's DUI collection interesting. They're absolutely lousy with eagles, eagle talons, wings, quills, Roman gladiuses, fish hooks, sea lions, "monstrous winged dragon[s]", acorns, a winged dinosaur with a New Guinean barong (sadly no longer in use), giant cacti, pelicans (a traditional choice), gauntlets (pretty sweet), the foxglove plant (Digitalis), hawks, wrenches, and pretty much anything else you can think of that you can fit in a 1-3/16 inch enameled pin.
I think part of the reason why the Space Force has such a... wide variety of symbols on its patches, is that there's not really much history there for them to dig through to come up with stuff. Cyber units have a similar problem. What, exactly, symbolizes "cyber"? The official answer is stuff like this, which is kinda... meh. "The pale blue disc represents the globe itself and the worldwide reach of the organization through global networks. The gold compass rose exemplifies exploration of new technologies and how the Soldiers in the Brigade are pioneers in cyber defense. [...] The black band around the globe and compass symbolizes the past, present, and future, and the white and gray shield allude to the organization’s role as network defenders." I mean, okay, I guess. It's inoffensive. (They could have at least thrown in a "housecat rampant" somewhere.)
Anyway, there's probably a pretty good Anthro 101 term paper in the difference between official DUIs and the unofficial unit-created morale patches, for someone who was into such things.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:32 AM on March 23, 2022 [11 favorites]
I mean, obviously at some point it's a matter of taste, but those emblems are ...boring as hell as far as I'm concerned.
What they have is a consistent design and symbology. But again, there's an entire set of "official" unit emblems with a consistent schema produced for that purpose. The point of a unit morale patch is that, in a sea of enforced uniformity and top-down organizational schema, it's the place you're allowed to be, as part of a unit, outwardly different from everybody else. It's kind of the "wacky tie" of the modern military uniform.
there's no kickass Statues of Liberty
The Statue of Liberty as a symbol is pretty connected with New York, and NYC in particular. The NY National Guard use a stylized Crown of Liberty superimposed with a sword, which is pretty neat if you're into a sort of minimalist aesthetic. The 104th Infantry Regiment, NY Guard, patch is centered around Liberty's Torch, on a blue field surrounded by stars and below what appears to be a Cross of Saint George, for some reason.
Eagles, in particular, are usually connected with aviation in some way, e.g. airborne units. The canonical example is probably the 101st Airborne's "Screaming Eagle" patch. The 12th Combat Aviation Brigade has a pretty dope shoulder patch consisting of an eagle that's... on fire? (Correction: A phoenix.) And they also have a rather interesting DUI (official insignia) featuring "nine gold tongues of flame issuant from a common center with orange at their centers and their outer ends curled inwardly in a clockwise direction; separating the flames into three groups three blue wings emerging from a red disc in center the lower portion of this design enclosed by a gold scroll bearing the motto "AD EXCELSUM CONAMUR" in red letters." Lest we miss the point, the Heraldry folks spell it right out: "A mythological phoenix symbol, depicted in heraldry as a demi-eagle with wings displayed rising out of flames of fire and said to represent hope and life eternal, is the basis for this design."
Anyway, if you want to see consistency and a more, uh, traditional set of symbols that have been officially vetted and given Big Army approval, you might find the Institute of Heraldry's DUI collection interesting. They're absolutely lousy with eagles, eagle talons, wings, quills, Roman gladiuses, fish hooks, sea lions, "monstrous winged dragon[s]", acorns, a winged dinosaur with a New Guinean barong (sadly no longer in use), giant cacti, pelicans (a traditional choice), gauntlets (pretty sweet), the foxglove plant (Digitalis), hawks, wrenches, and pretty much anything else you can think of that you can fit in a 1-3/16 inch enameled pin.
I think part of the reason why the Space Force has such a... wide variety of symbols on its patches, is that there's not really much history there for them to dig through to come up with stuff. Cyber units have a similar problem. What, exactly, symbolizes "cyber"? The official answer is stuff like this, which is kinda... meh. "The pale blue disc represents the globe itself and the worldwide reach of the organization through global networks. The gold compass rose exemplifies exploration of new technologies and how the Soldiers in the Brigade are pioneers in cyber defense. [...] The black band around the globe and compass symbolizes the past, present, and future, and the white and gray shield allude to the organization’s role as network defenders." I mean, okay, I guess. It's inoffensive. (They could have at least thrown in a "housecat rampant" somewhere.)
Anyway, there's probably a pretty good Anthro 101 term paper in the difference between official DUIs and the unofficial unit-created morale patches, for someone who was into such things.
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:32 AM on March 23, 2022 [11 favorites]
I've done graphics for military dudes before, always out of their own pocket and always noty affording the Good Design Time. Never anything this fun or creative though, almost always silhouettes of military vehicles and weapons.
posted by GoblinHoney at 8:33 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by GoblinHoney at 8:33 AM on March 23, 2022
There's a sort of fun dark humor aspect to some of these. Well I'd like to think it was fun but honestly the stakes are too high. Also a lot of these folks probably believe their own hype. Reminded a bit of the fascion of Punisher logos on police gear.
I do like the iconography of Space Delta 7 though, the bear holding a key and the Big Dipper pointing to the North Star. The bear is a pun, with the Big Dipper also being the Great Bear constellation. The North Star part suggests navigation. And the key is cryptography, and recalls the excellent NSA logo with its key. The logo tells a little story; I'm guessing these are the folks working on securing satellite navigation?
posted by Nelson at 8:39 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I do like the iconography of Space Delta 7 though, the bear holding a key and the Big Dipper pointing to the North Star. The bear is a pun, with the Big Dipper also being the Great Bear constellation. The North Star part suggests navigation. And the key is cryptography, and recalls the excellent NSA logo with its key. The logo tells a little story; I'm guessing these are the folks working on securing satellite navigation?
posted by Nelson at 8:39 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Gotta say, I'd really like to know the story behind this "No Mistakes, Just Happy Accidents" patch, featuring Bob Ross and a mushroom cloud. ಠ_ಠ
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:45 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by Kadin2048 at 8:45 AM on March 23, 2022
My favourite showed a picture of Elmer Fudd in full hunting gear with his rifle and the words: "Ssh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Iwaquis!"
That's ghastly and inappropriate for so many different reasons.
That’s very PG-13 so far as most military humor goes. Most professions that deal with human mortality (doctors, fireman, paramedics, etc.) take their humor very black as a coping mechanism. When the other side is literally trying to kill you, that is amplified. It doesn’t make them monsters.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:58 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
That's ghastly and inappropriate for so many different reasons.
That’s very PG-13 so far as most military humor goes. Most professions that deal with human mortality (doctors, fireman, paramedics, etc.) take their humor very black as a coping mechanism. When the other side is literally trying to kill you, that is amplified. It doesn’t make them monsters.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:58 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
As much fun as these are, I am once again saddened and ashamed that the Space Force ever became a thing and that it will continue to exist for the rest of my life.
I'd rather still have a Postal Service if I could only pick one.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 9:16 AM on March 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
I'd rather still have a Postal Service if I could only pick one.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 9:16 AM on March 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
Runa Sandvik filed a FOIA request for "all briefs, emails, records, and any other documents on, about, mentioning, or concerning the creation of the NROL-39 octopus logo" (the infamous one with the text "NOTHING IS BEYOND OUR REACH") and hit the jackpot with the full design discussions and sign-offs. Ben Welsh more recently submitted a followup FOIA for "the logo for the NROL-39 mission in SVG or EPS file format" and also won the FOIA lottery (unlike my FOIA requests regarding their groovy 1960s and 70s motivational posters for which they claimed to find no responsive documents).
So if you want to remix it for your own octopus-eating-the-world mission patch, here's the PDF vector art version...
posted by autopilot at 9:17 AM on March 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
So if you want to remix it for your own octopus-eating-the-world mission patch, here's the PDF vector art version...
posted by autopilot at 9:17 AM on March 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Also, if you're going to put a bear in the logo, it should be both epic and related to the mission. Like the secret nuclear weapons city of Zheleznogorsk in Krasnoyarsk Krai, Russia, which has a bear tearing open the nucleus of an atom on its flag.
posted by autopilot at 9:23 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
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posted by autopilot at 9:23 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
I don't think it's that crazy to not love the sci fi flavored fascism that was immediately put on display here. I don't want fascist imagery mixed up with what's supposed to be a neutral place. Thanks, I hate it.
posted by bleep at 9:30 AM on March 23, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by bleep at 9:30 AM on March 23, 2022 [5 favorites]
Like, I do my job every day and I don't have a drawing of an evil yeti on my wall to keep me going. Neither does anyone at NASA or any other space agency. It's possible to do your job without these things as long as your job isn't killing people. So why are they so eager to have them.
posted by bleep at 9:32 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by bleep at 9:32 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
This really is the dumbest timeline.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 9:37 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 9:37 AM on March 23, 2022
That skull--why isn't there just a blanket "no skulls" rule for these things?
"But why *skulls*, though?"
I do wonder why there aren't some blanket bans, mostly to help presumably young folks designing "badass" logos to avoid obvious pitfalls:
"No Hydras—Hydra was the secret-Nazi organization in the Marvel Universe. No skulls—skulls are evil, see link above. No bears—bears are Russia; consider substituting an eagle. No Christian crosses disguised as stars—come on, you guys!..."
posted by The Tensor at 9:50 AM on March 23, 2022 [6 favorites]
"But why *skulls*, though?"
I do wonder why there aren't some blanket bans, mostly to help presumably young folks designing "badass" logos to avoid obvious pitfalls:
"No Hydras—Hydra was the secret-Nazi organization in the Marvel Universe. No skulls—skulls are evil, see link above. No bears—bears are Russia; consider substituting an eagle. No Christian crosses disguised as stars—come on, you guys!..."
posted by The Tensor at 9:50 AM on March 23, 2022 [6 favorites]
Gotta say, I'd really like to know the story behind this "No Mistakes, Just Happy Accidents" patch, featuring Bob Ross and a mushroom cloud. ಠ_ಠ
On google, UCT is undergraduate combat systems officer training where they teach people how to do the not-pilot-but-still-officer stuff in aireoplanes. It appears that every graduating class makes their own li'l patch, so I doubt there's much more to it than "Those 20-odd people thought it was funny."
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:51 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
On google, UCT is undergraduate combat systems officer training where they teach people how to do the not-pilot-but-still-officer stuff in aireoplanes. It appears that every graduating class makes their own li'l patch, so I doubt there's much more to it than "Those 20-odd people thought it was funny."
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:51 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
bleep, I hear what you're saying about the creepy imagery in some/most of these, and those are unequivocally bad choices. Even for people going for bleak/black humor, there are alternatives that don't lean so hard into "we're the gauntlet on the fist of oppression."
But have you considered how much better you and your department might do your jobs if you had an evil yeti on the wall? You'd be enriched with 100% more yeti-power.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:56 AM on March 23, 2022 [10 favorites]
But have you considered how much better you and your department might do your jobs if you had an evil yeti on the wall? You'd be enriched with 100% more yeti-power.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:56 AM on March 23, 2022 [10 favorites]
there's no kickass Statues of Liberty
The Statue of Liberty as a symbol is pretty connected with New York, and NYC in particular.
There's a logo prominently featuring a bear which is just about the most Californian thing I can imagine as an insignia of any kind. Bears are awesome and unclear allusions to my home state are also awesome. I'd be perfectly happy to see DoD folks repping my country's revered symbol of welcoming, open borders offering economic and political opportunity to the oppressed of the world. Might remind folks what they're getting paid to do.
posted by majick at 9:56 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
The Statue of Liberty as a symbol is pretty connected with New York, and NYC in particular.
There's a logo prominently featuring a bear which is just about the most Californian thing I can imagine as an insignia of any kind. Bears are awesome and unclear allusions to my home state are also awesome. I'd be perfectly happy to see DoD folks repping my country's revered symbol of welcoming, open borders offering economic and political opportunity to the oppressed of the world. Might remind folks what they're getting paid to do.
posted by majick at 9:56 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Gotta say, I'd really like to know the story behind this "No Mistakes, Just Happy Accidents" patch, featuring Bob Ross and a mushroom cloud. ಠ_ಠ
I was going to guess that maybe Ross's former unit in the Air Force had adopted him as their mascot, but it looks like "UCT" is "Undergraduate Combat Systems Training" in Pensacola, and each class has a patch, mostly very jokey.
posted by The Tensor at 10:03 AM on March 23, 2022
I was going to guess that maybe Ross's former unit in the Air Force had adopted him as their mascot, but it looks like "UCT" is "Undergraduate Combat Systems Training" in Pensacola, and each class has a patch, mostly very jokey.
posted by The Tensor at 10:03 AM on March 23, 2022
Perfectly normal human Frank Chen said in an interview that he was just an unremarkable GPS satellite operator and not literally a planet sized six headed dragon eager to rain fiery destruction down on all of humanity. One of Chen's other heads added that Hiram McDaniels hadn't been seen in months and had probably left the solar system.
posted by Reverend John at 10:04 AM on March 23, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by Reverend John at 10:04 AM on March 23, 2022 [6 favorites]
about the most Californian thing I can imagine as an insignia of any kind
I would have said surfboard. I'm not sure bears is something most people associate with California, maybe its a US thing? If I was asked what US state I associated bears with I would likely say Alaska, or maybe one of other more rural, mountainous states. But first thought for bears on insignia in general would be Russia.
posted by biffa at 10:06 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I would have said surfboard. I'm not sure bears is something most people associate with California, maybe its a US thing? If I was asked what US state I associated bears with I would likely say Alaska, or maybe one of other more rural, mountainous states. But first thought for bears on insignia in general would be Russia.
posted by biffa at 10:06 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
biffa, the California state flag prominently features a bear. So yeah, maybe primarily a U.S. thing to associate bears with California.
posted by cooker girl at 10:15 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by cooker girl at 10:15 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
The ones with globes look like they represent the monsters that break the Wi-Fi.
posted by Comet Bug at 10:17 AM on March 23, 2022
posted by Comet Bug at 10:17 AM on March 23, 2022
I've spent my career in medicine-adjacent spaces, and doing work that also has its share of confronting death and suffering. Black humor is absolutely a common coping strategy, and I think it can be very healthy. The thing is, though, when you're a professional, you have to be careful about letting people outside your professional circle see too much of that black humor, because without the proper context, it's not only not funny, it's quite offensive.
The closest thing in my field I can think of to one of these "morale patches" are t-shirts we used to design for our annual departmental retreat. One year there was a design that was submitted and almost accepted that was really borderline, or perhaps crossing the line, regarding this type of black humor. Even though our visibility is way less, people moved quickly to scuttle it and replace it with a more benign design. The guy who submitted the design thought we were all being oversensitive, but it was absolutely the right call, even though I thought it was kind of funny.
posted by biogeo at 10:20 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
The closest thing in my field I can think of to one of these "morale patches" are t-shirts we used to design for our annual departmental retreat. One year there was a design that was submitted and almost accepted that was really borderline, or perhaps crossing the line, regarding this type of black humor. Even though our visibility is way less, people moved quickly to scuttle it and replace it with a more benign design. The guy who submitted the design thought we were all being oversensitive, but it was absolutely the right call, even though I thought it was kind of funny.
posted by biogeo at 10:20 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
about the most Californian thing ... I would have said surfboard.
Several centuries of Hawaiian culture would beg to disagree. Not that you're alone in your association.
I live in California and did not connect the bear in the Space Delta 7 logo to California. Like I said up-thread it's a pun on the Ursus Major constellation that's also on the badge. It did make me think "Russian" though, which up until a few months ago would have seemed only slightly awkward.
posted by Nelson at 10:25 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Several centuries of Hawaiian culture would beg to disagree. Not that you're alone in your association.
I live in California and did not connect the bear in the Space Delta 7 logo to California. Like I said up-thread it's a pun on the Ursus Major constellation that's also on the badge. It did make me think "Russian" though, which up until a few months ago would have seemed only slightly awkward.
posted by Nelson at 10:25 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
> there's certainly a broader question in whether having an explicitly military space program that's only very loosely coupled with the civilian space program is a good idea
loosely you say? There was a Space Shuttle mission profile that would launch from Vandenberg into a polar orbit and capture a Soviet satellite to inspect or modify it or even bring it back to Earth. text or video
posted by ASCII Costanza head at 10:26 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
loosely you say? There was a Space Shuttle mission profile that would launch from Vandenberg into a polar orbit and capture a Soviet satellite to inspect or modify it or even bring it back to Earth. text or video
posted by ASCII Costanza head at 10:26 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
I would have said surfboard.
Huh, that's interesting. I know one person who surfs and a great many who have seen the state flag. Media depicts it and variations of it regularly and the Sonoma rebellion isn't entirely obscure history given that it led ultimately to the founding of most literally the 5th largest economic power in the world.
As cooker girl says, maybe that's a U.S. thing. Surfing being somehow defining of California seems like the kind of thing that would have died out in the 80s. Thanks for giving me a new perspective.
posted by majick at 10:36 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Huh, that's interesting. I know one person who surfs and a great many who have seen the state flag. Media depicts it and variations of it regularly and the Sonoma rebellion isn't entirely obscure history given that it led ultimately to the founding of most literally the 5th largest economic power in the world.
As cooker girl says, maybe that's a U.S. thing. Surfing being somehow defining of California seems like the kind of thing that would have died out in the 80s. Thanks for giving me a new perspective.
posted by majick at 10:36 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
The guy who submitted the design thought we were all being oversensitive, but it was absolutely the right call, even though I thought it was kind of funny.
Now that we've got all the proper context, do you feel able to tell us what the design was?
posted by Paul Slade at 10:44 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Now that we've got all the proper context, do you feel able to tell us what the design was?
posted by Paul Slade at 10:44 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Continuing the bear derail, there is a page near the end of the US passport that has a bear eating a salmon on the verso face (along with a monumental carved pole on the recto, so maybe for Alaska or the generic Pacific North West area). When we visited Saint Petersburg several years ago, the customs agents carefully leafed through every US visitors' passport to that specific page to stamp it with the Russian Federation's entry/exit marks.
posted by autopilot at 10:57 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by autopilot at 10:57 AM on March 23, 2022 [4 favorites]
there's no kickass Statues of Liberty
I've just done a Google Images search for the term "armed Statue of Liberty" and the results suggest you're mistaken.
posted by Paul Slade at 11:02 AM on March 23, 2022
I've just done a Google Images search for the term "armed Statue of Liberty" and the results suggest you're mistaken.
posted by Paul Slade at 11:02 AM on March 23, 2022
Those have a very USFL/American Indoor Football vibe.
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 11:57 AM on March 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 11:57 AM on March 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
Surfing being somehow defining of California seems like the kind of thing that would have died out in the 80s
Dude. Santa Cruz disagrees.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:59 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
Dude. Santa Cruz disagrees.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 11:59 AM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
The Silver Surfer would make a good Space Force logo.
posted by SPrintF at 12:24 PM on March 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 12:24 PM on March 23, 2022 [3 favorites]
Runa Sandvik filed a FOIA request for "all briefs, emails, records, and any other documents on, about, mentioning, or concerning the creation of the NROL-39 octopus logo" (the infamous one with the text "NOTHING IS BEYOND OUR REACH") and hit the jackpot with the full design discussions and sign-offs. Ben Welsh more recently submitted a followup FOIA for "the logo for the NROL-39 mission in SVG or EPS file format" and also won the FOIA lottery (unlike my FOIA requests regarding their groovy 1960s and 70s motivational posters for which they claimed to find no responsive documents).
So if you want to remix it for your own octopus-eating-the-world mission patch, here's the PDF vector art version...
Oh god, I had to go read the FOIA info to remember if we declassified the harness info but it really was a pun, I swear. Also, you've never really experienced government bureaucracy until the organization you're in a relatively senior leadership position of ends up on the Daily Show with their patch. So many meetings. So much powerpoint.
On the other hand, someone in the office captured the Daily Show version (scroll down) and had that made into a patch that we were all forbidden to wear lest the whole thing turn into an ouroboros of patch nonsense. That's the other thing to remember these days especially - getting patches made is way easier than it used to be so people will create unofficial patches all the time, few of which actually get worn on uniform but many of which end up stuck to bulletin boards or taped to office doors.
posted by macfly at 1:04 PM on March 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
So if you want to remix it for your own octopus-eating-the-world mission patch, here's the PDF vector art version...
Oh god, I had to go read the FOIA info to remember if we declassified the harness info but it really was a pun, I swear. Also, you've never really experienced government bureaucracy until the organization you're in a relatively senior leadership position of ends up on the Daily Show with their patch. So many meetings. So much powerpoint.
On the other hand, someone in the office captured the Daily Show version (scroll down) and had that made into a patch that we were all forbidden to wear lest the whole thing turn into an ouroboros of patch nonsense. That's the other thing to remember these days especially - getting patches made is way easier than it used to be so people will create unofficial patches all the time, few of which actually get worn on uniform but many of which end up stuck to bulletin boards or taped to office doors.
posted by macfly at 1:04 PM on March 23, 2022 [7 favorites]
> the Distinctive Unit Insignia's are really really cool
every logo+name a writing prompt
posted by glonous keming at 1:32 PM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
every logo+name a writing prompt
posted by glonous keming at 1:32 PM on March 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
do you feel able to tell us what the design was?
Eh, I'd still rather not go into detail as it was pretty tasteless, but the gist was research subjects taking revenge on researchers. The sort of thing that if you didn't know how much time and effort we spend on thinking about and teaching research ethics could come across as suggesting we find the idea of ethical research to be funny.
posted by biogeo at 2:24 PM on March 23, 2022
The Silver Surfer would make a good Space Force logo.
can we agree it would be a Kirby Surfer? although a Moebius Surfer will do
posted by elkevelvet at 4:15 PM on March 23, 2022
can we agree it would be a Kirby Surfer? although a Moebius Surfer will do
posted by elkevelvet at 4:15 PM on March 23, 2022
...bald eagles placing satellites in orbit with their talons.
In fairness, your bald eagles are laughably diminutive, to the extent that you could just use a real one when you needed an eagle NPC figure for your Pathfinder game. It would be odd to picture one reaching up into space, when I suspect they can barely hop up onto the second level of the coop to lay their eggs.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:32 PM on March 23, 2022
In fairness, your bald eagles are laughably diminutive, to the extent that you could just use a real one when you needed an eagle NPC figure for your Pathfinder game. It would be odd to picture one reaching up into space, when I suspect they can barely hop up onto the second level of the coop to lay their eggs.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:32 PM on March 23, 2022
Needs more "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" I mean, did none of these people read Heinlein?
posted by valkane at 3:45 AM on March 24, 2022
posted by valkane at 3:45 AM on March 24, 2022
My favourite showed a picture of Elmer Fudd in full hunting gear with his rifle and the words: "Ssh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Iwaquis!"
This isn't "black humour," it's fucking racist.
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:02 AM on March 24, 2022 [7 favorites]
This isn't "black humour," it's fucking racist.
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:02 AM on March 24, 2022 [7 favorites]
Needs more "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" I mean, did none of these people read Heinlein?
You mean the novel where Heinlein proposed an unaccountable professional military organization with a monopoly on the use of nuclear weapons, and that valorized one of its own for having the fortitude to nuke his own home town? Or the short story prequel to that novel that portrayed an attempt to take over the world by a cadre of corrupt officers that was defeated (whew!) by One Good Kid? As best I can tell, Heinlein's answer to "And who will watch those watchmen?" was "The watchmen themselves, because their esprit de corps is rock solid! Well mostly."
posted by The Tensor at 9:54 AM on March 24, 2022 [2 favorites]
You mean the novel where Heinlein proposed an unaccountable professional military organization with a monopoly on the use of nuclear weapons, and that valorized one of its own for having the fortitude to nuke his own home town? Or the short story prequel to that novel that portrayed an attempt to take over the world by a cadre of corrupt officers that was defeated (whew!) by One Good Kid? As best I can tell, Heinlein's answer to "And who will watch those watchmen?" was "The watchmen themselves, because their esprit de corps is rock solid! Well mostly."
posted by The Tensor at 9:54 AM on March 24, 2022 [2 favorites]
Rather than simple numerals, Pershing is said to have allowed the divisions to invent their own, to help them build an identity as cohesive units.
I am morally opposed to this practice. Forming a distinct group identity is an early step on the slippery slope that can lead to conflict, factionalization, and--taken to its extremes--genocide. This sort of thing may be all fun and games in a corporate office, but it should never be combined with the mechanisms of state violence. All sense of identity must be subjugated to the needs of the whole.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:49 AM on March 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
I am morally opposed to this practice. Forming a distinct group identity is an early step on the slippery slope that can lead to conflict, factionalization, and--taken to its extremes--genocide. This sort of thing may be all fun and games in a corporate office, but it should never be combined with the mechanisms of state violence. All sense of identity must be subjugated to the needs of the whole.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:49 AM on March 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
All sense of identity must be subjugated to the needs of the whole.
I dunno, man, that sounds pretty fashy to me. And slippery slope is recognized as a fallacy for a reason. I don't think these morale patch designs are a good idea, and they're indicative of a tough-guy mentality that really shouldn't have any place in a professional military that serves a civilian government. There's a lot to criticize here, but I don't think going all in on turning military personnel into mindless order-following drones with no identity is a good idea either. Maybe I misunderstood you though.
posted by biogeo at 3:31 PM on March 24, 2022 [3 favorites]
there's no kickass Statues of Liberty
Columbia has entered the chat for your armed patriotism needs. She can knight doughboys. And if she can spank Stephen Douglas she can spank any aliens up there.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:02 PM on March 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
Columbia has entered the chat for your armed patriotism needs. She can knight doughboys. And if she can spank Stephen Douglas she can spank any aliens up there.
posted by kirkaracha at 4:02 PM on March 24, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have questions about the skull. Is it wearing a Spartan helmet that was converted to an astronaut helmet, or an astronaut helmet that had a Spartan fringy bit added on? Why does the helmet have glass? It's a skull, it doesn't need protection. Or is the skull from a Spartan astronaut that died, maybe by getting its head cut off, and then it decomposed to leave only a skull?
posted by kirkaracha at 4:14 PM on March 24, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by kirkaracha at 4:14 PM on March 24, 2022 [3 favorites]
Ah metafilter, overthinking a plate of spartan astronaut skulls.
posted by axiom at 12:27 PM on March 25, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by axiom at 12:27 PM on March 25, 2022 [3 favorites]
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
A lot of what looks like Tony the Tiger yiff, though, so how bad can things be?
posted by Horkus at 8:40 PM on March 22, 2022 [9 favorites]