The Sound of Beauty (Eurovision 2022 Preview)

March 29, 2022 8:35 AM

It's nearing the end of March, and that means that Eurovision is less than two months away! Forty countries have submitted entries this year, in a wide range of styles and languages. Current hopefuls for the top spot include a Norwegian wolf in need of bananas, Latvian reminders to eat your veggies, artistic handwashing from Serbia, Finland's obligatory rock entry, Lithuanian sentimentality, Moldovans on a train, and perhaps the UK's best entry in years.

The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) and Radiotelevisione italiana (RAI) are making preparations for the 2022 Contest, which is being hosted in Turin, Italy, after Måneskin won Eurovision 2021 in Rotterdam with Zitti e buoni. It was the first win for Italy since its return to the Contest in 2011 after an extended absence. (Italy has two previous Contest victories in 1964 and 1990.)

The 2022 Contest is a return to form of sorts, after the cancellation of the 2020 Contest meant that many 2021 contestants were chosen anew. 2022 had, for most of January and February, been full of the usual drama: accusations of plagiarism, accusations of ignoring public preferences, and accusations regarding falsified documents.

With all forty participants confirmed, things were officially headed toward Promotion Season on the Eurovision Cycle Map. (Infographic from 2017, but still very interesting.)

Two days after it was announced that Kalush Orchestra had agreed to represent Ukraine with Stefania, Russia invaded.

Traditionally, the EBU has gone to great lengths in the past to maintain the apolitical nature of the Contest.

With that in mind, originally, Russia and Ukraine were both still invited to participate in Eurovision 2022. The EBU maintained that Eurovision would continue to be a “non-political cultural event”. Multiple national broadcasters and artists denounced the decision. Both Finland and Estonia declared that they would withdraw from the Contest if Russia was allowed to compete.

The very next day, the EBU announced that Russia would not participate in the 2022 Contest. In response, Russian broadcasters announced that they would be leaving the EBU. However, the EBU has not received any formal confirmation.

RAI has since confirmed that Ukraine is still planning to participate.

Previously: Circus Mircus brings the funky earworm to Eurovision 2022 - extra details on Georgia's 2022 submission.

In any case, the show must, indeed, go on. These 40 acts will be hoping to shine in the Grand Final on May 14, where we will see who gets enough points to be the declared the winner of Eurovision 2022!

Semi-Final 1 - Tuesday, May 10:
Albania - Ronela Hajati: "Sekret"
Armenia - Rosa Linn: "Snap"
Austria - Lumix feat. Pia Maria: "Halo"
Bulgaria - Intelligent Music Project: "Intention"
Croatia - Mia Dimšić: "Guilty Pleasure"
Denmark - Reddi: "The Show"
Greece - Amanda Tenfjord: "Die Together"
Iceland - Systur (Sigga, Beta and Elín): "Með hækkandi sól"
Latvia - Citi - Zēni: "Eat Your Salad"
Lithuania - Monika Liu: "Sentimentai"
Moldova - Zdob și Zdub and Frații Advahov: "Trenulețul"
Netherlands - S10: "De diepte"
Norway - Subwoolfer: "Give That Wolf a Banana"
Portugal - Jérémie Makiese: "Miss You"
Slovenia - LPS: "Disko"
Switzerland - Maro: "Saudade, saudade"
Ukraine - Kalush Orchestra: "Stefania" (Стефанія)

Semi-Final 2 - Thursday, May 12:
Australia - Sheldon Riley: "Not the Same"
Azerbaijan - Nadir Rustamli: "Fade To Black"
Belgium - Jérémie Makiese: "Miss You"
Cyprus - Andromache: "Ela" (Έλα)
Czech Republic - We Are Domi: "Lights Off"
Estonia - Stefan: "Hope"
Finland - The Rasmus: "Jezebel"
Georgia - Circus Mircus: "Lock Me In"
Ireland - Brooke: "That's Rich"
Israel - Michael Ben David: "I.M"
Malta - Emma Muscat: "I Am What I Am"
Montenegro - Vladana: "Breathe"
North Macedonia - Andrea: "Circles"
Poland - Ochman: "River"
Romania - WRS: "Llámame"
San Marino - Achille Lauro: "Stripper"
Serbia - Konstrakta: "In corpore sano"
Sweden - Cornelia Jakobs: "Hold Me Closer"

Big Five:
France - Alvan and Ahez: "Fulenn"
Germany - Malik Harris: "Rockstars"
Italy - Mahmood and Blanco: "Brividi"
Spain - Chanel: "SloMo"
United Kingdom - Sam Ryder: "Space Man"

posted by PearlRose (30 comments total)

No bets on who’s gonna win…
posted by Going To Maine at 8:42 AM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

If nothing else it's been very funny to see people claiming that Eurovision, of all things, is "not political". The usually pro-Russia voting bloc is going to be interesting.

I predict lots of yellow and blue in the staging this year, and a very tiresome slew of "is it fair" post-show discourse if Ukraine win on anything except a totally stunning performance.

Personally I'm all in for Finland's entry because I super loved the Rasmus as wee baby goth in the early 00's.
posted by fight or flight at 8:52 AM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

Ooh, Mahmood's returning to Eurovision! He was my favorite in 2019.

I try not to spoil myself for the event prior to the Semis, but couldn't help but take a look at the performer list this time. Thanks for the post!
posted by May Kasahara at 9:33 AM on March 29, 2022 [2 favorites]

I was hoping for literal rocks from Finland and was disappointed. :(
posted by heatherlogan at 9:34 AM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the post!

The Serbian entry is fun, and even more so once you turn on the English captions.

What could be the secret of Meghan Markle's healthy hair?

The official video for Serbia

Playlist of all the music videos; some have better captions that the links above.

Personally, I think Ukraine's entry is a lot of fun! I wouldn't mind if they win for both artistic and world peace reasons.
posted by khedron at 9:37 AM on March 29, 2022 [2 favorites]

Kalush Orchestra is fine but it's not the absolute banger that is ШУМ from Go_A two years ago.
posted by daisystomper at 9:47 AM on March 29, 2022 [4 favorites]

Gutsy of the UK to bet on an excellent song/singer with no glitz.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 10:25 AM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

I watched the recap youtube video with thirty second clips and whoa, that band is over .01% of the population of San Marino. That would be like France sending an act with eight thousand people in it.
posted by sy at 10:43 AM on March 29, 2022 [2 favorites]

Also I love the Moldova train entry. It's great that it's a song about how much they love another country, their neighbors, and the train route that connects them. Pretty heartwarming considering how war is on their doorstep.
posted by daisystomper at 11:05 AM on March 29, 2022 [8 favorites]

Ooh thank you for this post, I still need to catch up with the entries this year and all the links are very handy!

May I just add one link, and please everyone share it around because we need as many players as possible for this to be even more fun: FantaEurovision!

This is a fantasy league game for Eurovision, modeled on the hugely successful Fantasanremo which became extremely popular this year in Italy and added more fun to the Sanremo festival itself as performers scored bonus points if for instance they mentioned the game itself on stage, or did or said specific things or were dressed (or un-dressed) a certain way etc.

Basically the rules of the game are partially serious rules about placement and partially silly made up rules like bonus points for a "nip-slip" (though the Italian "scapezzolata" is a lot more fun to say) or for doing the 🤌 gesture and stuff like that, for a laugh. I hope this takes off at Eurovision like it did at Sanremo because it was genuinely fun to play with friends watching live!
posted by bitteschoen at 11:12 AM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

Also, these won't be news to seasoned fans, but this post inspired me to watch a youtube clip show of past winners 1956-2021 and

1) Francophone Luxembourg dominated this thing for years,
2) The first winning group to sing in English outside of Ireland and the UK was Abba in 1973. Then it doesn't happen again until 1999, and after that everyone sings in English except Serbia 2007, Portugal 2017, and Italy 2021.
3) I saw that the 1988 winner, from Switzerland, was Celine Dion, and I was like "Ha, what an unlucky coincidence of a name for this Swiss singer," and then I looked her up on wikipedia and saw that there wasn't a disambiguation page, which means that this poor Swiss singer doesn't even have a wikipedia page despite winning the Eurovision Song Contest, and meanwhile the song is playing in the background and I think "hey, she's pretty good," and then I look more closely at the wikipedia page of the Canadian Celine Dion and whaddaya know. It was like the opposite of the day I learned that there are two Bill Wymans.
posted by sy at 11:20 AM on March 29, 2022 [3 favorites]

The UK entry is surprisingly good given recent disasters.

The lyric video has a really cool teletext vibe.
posted by benoliver999 at 11:21 AM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

The first winning group to sing in English outside of Ireland and the UK was Abba in 1973. Then it doesn't happen again until 1999, and after that everyone sings in English except Serbia 2007, Portugal 2017, and Italy 2021.

There was a ban on singing in English if you weren't from an English-speaking country from 1977-1999.
posted by biffa at 11:26 AM on March 29, 2022 [6 favorites]

There was a ban on singing in English if you weren't from an English-speaking country from 1977-1999.

I wish they would bring that back - I love Eurovision, but I don't need to hear even more terrible English lyrics. At least with the other languages, I can't tell what they are saying.

(Okay, the Latvian Cake song from a few years ago was pretty awesome in English.)

I promise that I will go and watch every single video (probably both the staged and video versions) when I'm not at work. But in the meantime, I would also like to plug the amazing 2020 film, EUROVISION SONG CONTEST: The Story Of Fire Saga. It's a love-letter to Eurovision and just about the most delightful thing I've watched in years. If you love Eurovision, this movie loves you.
posted by jb at 11:52 AM on March 29, 2022 [4 favorites]

Spain would have sent Tanxugueiras but the producers dissented.
posted by sukeban at 12:06 PM on March 29, 2022 [2 favorites]

Ooh, excellent.

40 participants and just over 40 days to go. I think I might use this extremely excellent post as an advent calendar and watch a contestant a day (ish). I've only heard a couple entries so far. Thanks for putting this together PearlRose!

I've been watching the American Song Contest that's airing weekly right up until Eurovision. Just in case anyone wants to give that a spin as they bide their time, here's this week's Fanfare post. It airs on NBC, and then Peacock and Hulu for US streaming, and I believe is also being aired in some European countries - info in this Eurovision post.
posted by the primroses were over at 1:01 PM on March 29, 2022 [2 favorites]

Excuse me but can I just point to San Marino? that's a...change of pace. I can still remember the Facebook song...
posted by AFII at 1:05 PM on March 29, 2022

I've spent a fair amount of time in the area (Pesaro, Firenze, etc.) and most everyone thought of San Marino's "nationhood" as a joke that only the Sammarinese took seriously.
posted by slkinsey at 1:24 PM on March 29, 2022

Iceland’s entry is… okay to good maybe? I can’t remember it for more than fifteen minutes after hearing it, but it’s pleasant, and pleasant countryish music has a history of placing surprisingly high.
posted by Kattullus at 1:46 PM on March 29, 2022

Chisinau-to-Bucharest! The train is going East to West. Such a peppy little song.
posted by Oyéah at 3:11 PM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

Gutsy of the UK to bet on an excellent song/singer with no glitz.

I assumed we were going for the moral high ground if we get nul points-ed again.
posted by plonkee at 4:42 PM on March 29, 2022 [1 favorite]

Latvia! I'm 100% in, eat your veggies :)
posted by esoteric things at 7:22 PM on March 29, 2022

Awesome post, thank you.
posted by Coaticass at 11:11 PM on March 29, 2022

Here in Spain there was a lot of outrage about our pick. The public was divided between Tanxugeiras and Rigoberta Bandini (my fave, check it out) and when Chanel won there was talk of a congressional inquiry!
posted by maca at 7:42 AM on March 30, 2022

Ukraine has been exempted from the requirement to film a live-on-tape performance for Eurovision 2022
posted by bitteschoen at 9:09 AM on March 30, 2022 [3 favorites]

Gutsy of the UK to bet on an excellent song/singer with no glitz.

It is a great song. They know they'll probably get little or no points, but it's a good showing for British music.

I really like France's entry this year, though it is not at all like French entries have been lately - it's fun and dancy, with a hint of folk music (classic good Eurovision).

Serbia has clearly decided that they are an established country and ready to send the irony. (Not disapproving). Italy's entry - performed by Mahmood & Blanco - is just really powerful and touching. I like it.

But Spain? I need to go hear those other songs that were in contention, because this is... classic BAD Eurovision. Why? If I never see another fit young person twerking in the rain, I would be perfectly happy. (Everyone knows that rain is for umbrellas and swinging around poles).
posted by jb at 2:21 PM on March 30, 2022

Sigh. I swear I proofread the post a dozen times before I posted it because Armenia and Azerbaijan wouldn't release their songs to the public until almost a week after the official deadline...

Jérémie Makiese will not be part of SF1 for Belgium with "Miss You". The actual lineup should read as:
Portugal - Maro: "Saudade, saudade"
Slovenia - LPS: "Disko"
Switzerland - Marius Bear: "Boys Do Cry"
Ukraine - Kalush Orchestra: "Stefania" (Стефанія)

Additionally, EBU Executive Supervisor Martin Österdahl has finally commented publicly on Russia's removal from the Contest.
posted by PearlRose at 2:41 PM on March 30, 2022 [1 favorite]

Ooh, I like Israel's queer anthem - maybe it's not as silly as "Toy" and may not win, but it will be on my repeat playlist, along with the Wolf-Banana song. But I would check whether he was allergic before I gave him a banana, because I am. (Miss them so much).
posted by jb at 3:58 PM on March 30, 2022

I continue to be disappointed by the UK entries. It never really feels like we're taking this competition seriously, despite all the money it costs to be one of the Big Five. We send forgettable acts with forgettable songs (competently executed this year, but still very forgettable. At least he might be able to nail the live vocals for a change though). We also have commentators for our domestic coverage who treat the whole thing like a joke, in the tradition of the late Terry Wogan who commentated for years, getting audibly drunker as the show progressed.
Accordingly, I think a lot of our best potential entrants don't want to touch it with a barge pole as they see Eurovision as the death of a career that could have gone somewhere.
Especially if you consider political voting to be a real influence, and the effects of Brexit on that, because our government have been industriously annoying almost every other European country (even the ones outside the EU) for a few years now.
I absolutely love Norway's song with the wolf that needs a banana, and I therefore expect it to come almost last, just above the UK.
posted by mathw at 7:17 AM on April 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

Two weeks, y’all!
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 7:16 PM on April 27, 2022 [3 favorites]