Gonna go down to Black Mesa and get myself a BajaaAAaaAa Blast
April 25, 2022 8:22 AM Subscribe
The opening tram ride of classic 1998 first person shooter Half-Life except the tram guide uses the TikTok text-to-speech voice.
That TikTok voice synthesizer is two mesas from the Uncanny Valley … I think it’s maybe the Blursed Gulch. Whatever it is, it sets my teeth on edge like nothing else.
Even the Apple non-Siri voice synthesis is preferable.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 8:57 AM on April 25, 2022 [2 favorites]
Even the Apple non-Siri voice synthesis is preferable.
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 8:57 AM on April 25, 2022 [2 favorites]
This is such a cortex post.
posted by Alex404 at 8:57 AM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Alex404 at 8:57 AM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
Why is the TikTok voice so grating and terrible?
posted by explosion at 9:05 AM on April 25, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by explosion at 9:05 AM on April 25, 2022 [6 favorites]
I prefer Gordon's voice.
posted by googly at 9:15 AM on April 25, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by googly at 9:15 AM on April 25, 2022 [3 favorites]
Needs the angry new yorker tik tok voice which is somehow worse
posted by bxvr at 9:16 AM on April 25, 2022
posted by bxvr at 9:16 AM on April 25, 2022
One of the fascinating things to me about the TikTok voice is the way that as Brands continue to try to figure out how to make ad content for the platform I've noticed more and more of them using the text-to-speech as an element of their ads. It's smart and shitty in equal portions, and honestly more jarring to me than a goofy satirical project like this is. Like, you can tell when some company is just reusing ad content from other video platforms because it's jarringly mismatched to the local aesthetic; the attentive ones are trying to basically situate their ads in the lofi amateur production vibe of actual TikToks and the voice is a conspicuous and brain-grabbing part of that.
posted by cortex at 9:45 AM on April 25, 2022
posted by cortex at 9:45 AM on April 25, 2022
Like, you can tell when some company is just reusing ad content from other video platforms because it's jarringly mismatched to the local aesthetic
This reminds me of Colgate ads, at least back when I was regularly exposed to television ads - they overdub their footage with local accents, but the footage is so artificial and cheesy that it triggers a serious uncanny valley effect.
As for the actual video, I was fine with it. My memory says that the original voice was an actor trying to emulate artificial voice recordings, so having a voice that was much cleaner but still clearly artificial was very amusing.
posted by Merus at 9:52 AM on April 25, 2022
This reminds me of Colgate ads, at least back when I was regularly exposed to television ads - they overdub their footage with local accents, but the footage is so artificial and cheesy that it triggers a serious uncanny valley effect.
As for the actual video, I was fine with it. My memory says that the original voice was an actor trying to emulate artificial voice recordings, so having a voice that was much cleaner but still clearly artificial was very amusing.
posted by Merus at 9:52 AM on April 25, 2022
On the one hand: text-to-speech sure has come a loooong way since I first encountered it, messing around with the game Opening Night back in ye olden days.
On the other hand...for something that's come so far, there sure are an awful lot of weird arbitrary pauses and strange emphases. They're not out of the uncanny valley just yet but they're closing in on a note-perfect William Shatner impression.
posted by mstokes650 at 10:02 AM on April 25, 2022
On the other hand...for something that's come so far, there sure are an awful lot of weird arbitrary pauses and strange emphases. They're not out of the uncanny valley just yet but they're closing in on a note-perfect William Shatner impression.
posted by mstokes650 at 10:02 AM on April 25, 2022
It was fun to use the weapons cheat to take potshots while riding through the intro.
posted by dr_dank at 11:20 AM on April 25, 2022
posted by dr_dank at 11:20 AM on April 25, 2022
I found it soothing. Also made me want to play Half-Life, after not thinking about that game in, approximately, 23 years.
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:26 AM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Ashwagandha at 11:26 AM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
Now do Bastion.
posted by CaseyB at 11:30 AM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by CaseyB at 11:30 AM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
I kinda want to do this to random other voices too. Like, something that will randomly pick a few voices and do tiktok-text-to-speech instead of using the voice actor.
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:35 AM on April 25, 2022 [3 favorites]
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 11:35 AM on April 25, 2022 [3 favorites]
We were all thinking it, CaseyB.
posted by infinitewindow at 11:47 AM on April 25, 2022
posted by infinitewindow at 11:47 AM on April 25, 2022
Is there a German word for the feeling you get when you see a video game you haven't looked at in years and it turns out in your mind's memory, the graphics had become nearly photorealistic but then you see the actual footage and it looks comically low res and it makes you question even the concept that memory can be an accurate representation of what truthfully happened in the past?
posted by gwint at 11:54 AM on April 25, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by gwint at 11:54 AM on April 25, 2022 [5 favorites]
Tangentially related: Freeman's Mind started a little more than a decade ago.
"Freeman: Wait a second. Did I just see what I think I saw? Yup, I sure did. Newton's formula for Gravitational Force. Having trouble remembering that guys?! What are we in high school now?! My department is working on Quantum Displacement! Just what the heck are you guys doin'? Jerkin' around in lab coats by the looks of things! I just can't believe it. Those monkeys in there are having trouble learning about gravity, whereas I can recite the Quantum Chromodynamic Gauge Invariant Lagrangian in my sleep! There is no justice."
posted by MengerSponge at 12:53 PM on April 25, 2022 [2 favorites]
"Freeman: Wait a second. Did I just see what I think I saw? Yup, I sure did. Newton's formula for Gravitational Force. Having trouble remembering that guys?! What are we in high school now?! My department is working on Quantum Displacement! Just what the heck are you guys doin'? Jerkin' around in lab coats by the looks of things! I just can't believe it. Those monkeys in there are having trouble learning about gravity, whereas I can recite the Quantum Chromodynamic Gauge Invariant Lagrangian in my sleep! There is no justice."
posted by MengerSponge at 12:53 PM on April 25, 2022 [2 favorites]
Immediately thought of Freeman’s Mind too. Can’t believe it’s still around!
posted by bxvr at 1:05 PM on April 25, 2022
posted by bxvr at 1:05 PM on April 25, 2022
I didn't really think that much of this until the very end when
"Please stand back from the automated door and..."
Zoop!
Perfect comedic timing, perfect "physical" comedy (inasmuch as a first person camera's motion can convey physical comedy).
posted by majick at 4:32 PM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
"Please stand back from the automated door and..."
Zoop!
Perfect comedic timing, perfect "physical" comedy (inasmuch as a first person camera's motion can convey physical comedy).
posted by majick at 4:32 PM on April 25, 2022 [1 favorite]
It's fascinating to listen to both this and the original and compare the actual inhuman inflections and pauses with the fake-automated inflections that the voice actor and editors used for pretending to be a robot for the game.
posted by straight at 7:29 PM on April 25, 2022
posted by straight at 7:29 PM on April 25, 2022
“Wake up, Mr. Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes.”
posted by killdevil at 4:13 PM on April 26, 2022
posted by killdevil at 4:13 PM on April 26, 2022
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posted by bondcliff at 8:41 AM on April 25, 2022 [6 favorites]