827 Number Ones

June 3, 2022 2:47 PM

In January 2018 music writer Tom Breihan began writing a column, The Number Ones, for Stereogum. (When this column was started, the #1 song in America was Ed Sheeran's “Perfect”.) The premise is simple: he is going through and writing about every single song to top the Billboard Hot 100 chart in order, starting with the very first #1, Ricky Nelson's “Poor Little Fool” from August 1958, and continuing, presumably, at least until he catches up with the chart. At his current rate of three columns a week or so (and the rate of new #1 singles in the streaming era), it'll be into spring 2024 before that happens, but he's made it through the first 40 years of the chart into 1998, so there's a ton of great writing (827+ columns!) that deserves attention.

What started as 300 word capsule reviews of tracks have expanded slowly into 3,000 word essays about the music, the artist, the production, the video, the role of the song in music or society, or whatever else is interesting about the song. Each column rates the track from 1 to 10; he also rates any other top 10 song mentioned, as a throwaway. They all conclude with (usually several) postscripts showing the song's afterlife; performed, covered, sampled, employed in a crucial TV or movie scene. But Breihan does a great job of following his muse to put the song in context -- one essay opens up with five paragraphs about a 1971 Bill Withers song paying loving tribute to his grandmother; the essay is actually about Blackstreet’s 1996 song “No Diggity” (Feat. Dr. Dre & Queen Pen) which samples it. The column on ABBA's “Dancing Queen” starts out talking about the life and times of senator John McCain.

A great example is the entry for Mariah Carey's 1995 #1 “Fantasy”. In addition to the more straightforward background of the song (her increasing artistic and personal tension with then-husband/label owner Tommy Mottola; her directing a music video for the first time), there's also more esoteric discussions about her career at the time (her love of the Wu-Tang Clan; her secret grunge-pop album). Not only that, there's also interesting discussions of two other artists important to the song -- sample source Tom Tom Club (their origin as a Talking Heads side project; the role of “Genius Of Love” in early hip-hop) and remix guest Ol' Dirty Bastard (his persona as "genuinely unhinged folk-hero lunatic"; his wild adventures).

A semi-random crossection of excerpts, all quotes from Breihan:

• The real story of “Strangers In The Night” is the story of Frank Sinatra and a song that he absolutely fucking hated.
• All that said, it’s not hard to hear why people got so excited about “I Want To Hold Your Hand.” It’s a jagged, insistent blast, everything loud and hard and trebly and insistent.
• “Satisfaction” is a song about not getting laid, and it’s so furious and petty in its gripes that it stings that much harder. Mick Jagger, after all, comes off as the type of motherfucker who’d start throwing tantrums if he’d only gotten laid twice that weekend. And “Satisfaction” sounds like one of those tantrums.
• We hear little accents of guitar or saxophone in between the beats, but every instrument on the song [“War”], including [Edwin] Starr’s voice, is part of the rhythm section.
• There are all sorts of tiny flourishes through “Stayin’ Alive” — the backing-vocal panting on the chorus, the way the strings sigh and stab on the bridge, the perfectly timed cymbal-splashes. I can’t imagine one single production tweak that could make “Stayin’ Alive” work better. Everything is exactly where it should be. “Stayin’ Alive” is one of those songs that sounds like it’s always existed. It’s crazy to think that human beings had to make it up out of nothing.
• The level of swagger on “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” is out of control. The song is so thuddingly simple, so elemental, that it could easily turn hokey and ridiculous. Instead, the opposite happens. The song already sounds totemic by the time it hits the first chorus.
• The term “power ballad” doesn’t adequately describe “Total Eclipse Of The Heart,” if only because the word “power” just doesn’t have enough power. “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” is an extinction-level event rendered in musical form. It’s pop music as heart-pounding, chest-thumping, blood-gargling, heavens-falling passion explosion. It’s sheer spectacle. It’s fireworks and lasers and lightning and thunder. It soars and swoops and barrel-rolls. The song flies along from one fiery climax to the next, and right when it seems like it’s about to end, it takes off again and somehow becomes even bigger. Who the fuck cares what it’s about?
• There are plenty of people who will tell you that “Livin’ On A Prayer” is the dirt-stupid lowest-common-denominator cousin of what Bruce Springsteen was doing at the time. These people are entirely correct. ... But what these people don’t seem to get is that the bone-simple dumbness of “Livin’ On A Prayer” is what makes the song great.
• “Baby Got Back” was a goof, a novelty song, but it was also a sort of cultural flashpoint. Was Sir Mix-A-Lot degrading women by only talking about their butts? Or was he celebrating Black standards of beauty in a cultural climate where healthy women were made to feel ugly? Was Mix-A-Lot objectifying women, or was he celebrating them? Three decades later, the answer seems pretty clear: He was doing both.
• The Spice Girls were dedicated to the fine art of pop-music gibberish, and “Wannabe” has plenty of that. There have been all sorts of theories about the meaning of the phrase “I really really really wanna zig-a-zig-ah,” but the real correct interpretation is that it’s just some goofy, fun shit to say.

The columns are sorted by year, so you might also benefit from the Wikipedia list of Hot 100 #1s, if you can't remember exactly when a specific song came out. Also note that the Billboard Hot 100 is a pop singles chart and certain genres haven't had so much success. As a series of one-off fundraisers, Breihan has written a few 'bonus tracks' columns about songs that didn't make it, including songs by Nirvana, R.E.M., Talking Heads, The Kingsmen, and Florence and The Machine.

In the intro to the first column, Breihan notes that it's a "shameless ripoff" of Tom Ewing's column Popular (also discussed here previously), where he does the same thing with UK chart topping songs, and specifically points out the excellent column on the Sugababes' “Freak Like Me”.

Previously (but only a year in, he'd gotten to 1970 back then).

posted by Superilla (31 comments total)

This is great. I missed this the first time through The Blue.

I started in 1958, and the column on Tom Dooley. already has me hooked.
posted by Dr. Twist at 3:08 PM on June 3, 2022

You would think it would be just a short hit pieces but he really digs into tracks like Snow's Informer, and ends noting that “Nuthin’ But A ‘G’ Thang” ended up peaking below at the #2 spot.
posted by zenon at 3:10 PM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

The articles are generally great, but I've personally finally reached a point where the actual songs say so little to me that I have stopped reading and switched to skimming. It sucks, but maybe we'll reach a point where the music speaks to me enough to read about it again.

However don't sleep on the comments where the other charts, musical theory of the hit, seriously obscure tracks, Tom's rating anomalies, and personal ratings are discussed.
posted by The_Vegetables at 3:18 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

I have been reading this column religiously since it first appeared on the blue, and it just keeps getting better.

My favorite column of all time may be the brutal takedown of Knock Three Times by Tony Orlando and Dawn.

You probably have questions. I know I do. A goofy pop song is not supposed to leave you considering the logistical implications of a guy’s half-baked plan to get laid. What, for instance, does he do if she doesn’t answer at all? Is he going to send more notes? What happens if he’s not home when she knocks on either the ceiling or the pipe? What happens if she knocks three times on the pipe, or twice on the ceiling? What if she knocks four times? And, more importantly, why doesn’t he just talk to her, like a sane person? If he really must send her a note, why doesn’t he slide it under her door? Why doesn’t he ask her to write a note back? This guy really hasn’t thought his plan out very well.

Also, fun fact from this week’s column; there was a 1987 tour where DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, Public Enemy, and 2 Live Crew all shared a bill. Imagine being a sheltered teenager there for baby Will Smith and having no idea what’s coming your way.
posted by ActionPopulated at 3:45 PM on June 3, 2022 [6 favorites]

I clicked on the R. E. M. link expecting one of the band’s hits from their heyday, or maybe a song from their underrated 90s albums, and was surprised to see that the subject was 2008’s Supernatural Superserious. I read on, and I have to warn other readers, the reason why it was written was a real gut punch of a story. I think I need to go listen to Up until I feel in balance again.
posted by Kattullus at 4:04 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

I don't agree with his opinions on many of the songs, (I'm sure no one does) but he usually has something interesting to say. It's a lot of good reading.
posted by freakazoid at 4:29 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

Oh wow. I have read so very few of these, always meaning to go read more. Now I shall have to go read more.

Those quotes you posted are all fantastic and perfect.

The thing that blows my mind is that, for a largish swath of years, I have a really good knowledge of chart-topping songs ... and then there are all those years about which I know NOTHING.

It's simply astounding to contemplate writing pieces of this quality three times a week.

This is the perfect daily read for me, and I keep forgetting about it. Thank you so much for the (wonderful, well-crafted) reminder, Superilla!
posted by kristi at 5:16 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]

The first day I heard about this column (over the summer I think) I stayed up all night reading it. And then I forgot to check for new ones!!! Thanks for this
posted by capnsue at 6:55 PM on June 3, 2022 [2 favorites]

I don't agree with his opinions on many of the songs, (I'm sure no one does) but he usually has something interesting to say. It's a lot of good reading.


100% agree. Yet, I love how he rates songs on his taste. His encyclopedic knowledge of these songs, their roots, what sampled them, etc. is.... pretty amazing.

He's got a book coming out soon, too.

I cannot recommend his little slice of the internet enough... even when I vastly disagree with him.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 8:39 PM on June 3, 2022 [1 favorite]

Awesome, awesome post, thanks so much; I'd missed it the first time too. The link to the one about Carey's "Fantasy" led me to find the one on "Vision of Love", because I've been listening to it a lot lately--it's pretty astonishing, not just her range but the amazing control that she's got on it, and Breihan absolutely gets that, even though it "only" gets an 8 (the lyrics are so-so and the production is kind of cheesy). It's making the list of 20 most important #1 songs for his book. (He also notes that there aren't any notable covers of it, because who else could?)
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:15 PM on June 3, 2022 [3 favorites]

I don't think Tom's columns will ever be as relevant to me as his writeups of the hits from the 70s and 80s, when I was actually listening to the kind of radio stations that played them. These days I usually jump to the comments and skim through them, silently welcoming every teen and 20-something who has just discovered the site and actually find meaning, sometimes even nostalgically, in those rap and R&B hits of the late 90s.
posted by morspin at 10:25 PM on June 3, 2022

I’ve been reading this for years and I love it.
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 3:23 AM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]

Growing up in an Australian outer suburb, I listened to the American Top 40 (which was broadcast on a commercial radio station there) for a period around the late 80s/early 90s; the music (especially some of the high-tech pop/rap/R&B) seemed futuristic, exciting and, well, big compared to the parochial Australian equivalent (mostly meat'n'potatoes guitar rock, often delivered by a former soap actor). I drifted away sometime after going to university and being exposed to less mainstream music. Anyway, these decades later, it was a bit of a trip to read The Number Ones blog while it passed through the stretch of the Billboard charts I had been familiar with it, and how quickly things turned unfamiliar again once I tuned out.

I must say I was surprised to find that Sha'nice's “I Love Your Smile” never hit #1; it was all over the show every week for ages.
posted by acb at 4:01 AM on June 4, 2022 [2 favorites]

. . and don't forget the comments section under each article that can be filled with other interesting tidbits, stories about the song that was #2 at the time and musings from other charts.
posted by mikeinclifton at 4:23 AM on June 4, 2022 [3 favorites]

I've personally finally reached a point where the actual songs say so little to me that I have stopped reading and switched to skimming. It sucks, but maybe we'll reach a point where the music speaks to me enough to read about it again

This has been my experience too, The_Vegetables.

I started reading regularly when Tom was in the 80s and it was an incredible nostalgia hit. But when he got to the mid-90s—when I was in high school—he'd reached the period when I, in high school, gave up on Top 40 and MuchMusic and started to shape my musical identity contra what was popular at the time.

There was a transition between when I could watch Much for a while and a song I'd like might come on; then came a period when I couldn't be bothered (except for The Wedge). I feel like the real turning point was "I'll Be Missing You," which struck me then as a shallow attempt to not only cash in on someone's death while at the same time ruining a perfectly good Police song. It was inescapable that summer while at the same time I was starting to obsess over OK Computer. I've never gotten over that interpretation of the song. And in Tom's column, since then, it's been a fairly steady parade of songs that I remember hating and having to hear all the time.

With that said, the series has prompted me to re-evaluate a lot of songs I'd written off in my younger days and so I'll probably keep reading for Tom's analysis and the remarkably great comments sections.

The other fun thing about it is noticing little points of difference between the US and Canada. Occasionally there will be a song that was apparently huge in the US that I have absolutely no recollection of, and it's fun (with the help of the commenters) to think about songs that were huge hits in Canada that did not register south of the border.
posted by synecdoche at 5:09 AM on June 4, 2022

I went back to the very beginning though I read the links listed to get a feel for the column. I'm at the beginning of 1960 and every so often I'll think I don't know a song and click on the youtube link and I can sing the first line word for word but not much after that. This is totally due to those commercials for music collections (Time Life, Sessions) that were all over TV in the 70s and 80s.
posted by LostInUbe at 6:36 AM on June 4, 2022 [2 favorites]

As an example: Why I only know "On the banks of the river stood Running Bear" and nothing past that.
posted by LostInUbe at 6:46 AM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]

Okay, wow, so, I thought I'd go back to the beginning and start with that "Poor Little Fool" Ricky Nelson track - where I found this introductory paragraph:

The Number Ones is a new column where I’ll review every single #1 single in the history of the Billboard Hot 100, starting with the chart’s beginning, in 1958, and working my way up into the present. It is, in other words, a shameless ripoff of the great British blogger Tom Ewing’s long-running column Popular, in which he’s spent more than a decade doing the same thing with the UK charts. (Popular is so good. Start with Ewing’s masterpiece on the Sugababes’ “Freak Like Me” and work your way backwards.) Since there have been more than 1,000 #1 singles, I’ll do one of these every day, or as close to every day as I can manage. And in a nod to Ewing, I’ll give all of them a grade, from 1 to 10.

So now I've got TWO massive and excellent archives of pop music reviews to read.

Double thanks for this, Superilla!
posted by kristi at 3:16 PM on June 4, 2022

I'd actually agree with most of his ratings, at least within a point or two. Everything is thought out and articulated nicely, with some swell digressions, and even some interesting notes in his comments threads as well (like a fun little reminder of Les Rallizes Denudes really liked 'I Will Follow Him').
posted by ovvl at 4:28 PM on June 4, 2022

The amount of knowledge about the songs, the artists, the industry, the surrounding culture, is astonishing. This is great, a real time sink, but so much more interesting and informative than usual lists of this kind.

Is there a way to search by song or artist? Did Bruce Springsteen not have any number ones during the mid eighties? Also, just a quick check of a few favorites, I don't think he always quite understands the intent of some lyrics, cases in point U2's religious symbolism (which he admits) or Sting's trying to illustrate the concept of synchronicity in Every Breath You Take (rather than it simply being a "nasty" song).
posted by blue shadows at 8:13 PM on June 4, 2022 [1 favorite]

Glad to see Popular mentioned here (and checking the Previously, I see that I name-checked it back then as well). I spent many happy hours in the comments section there in the 2010s, although it's slowed to a crawl in recent years as Ewing's attention has turned to Twitter polls. If you're keen to compare them, check out his entry for Total Eclipse of the Heart for some delicious turns of phrase.
posted by rory at 11:42 PM on June 4, 2022

Did Bruce Springsteen not have any number ones during the mid eighties?

Bruce Springsteen never had a number one, ever. I believe that fact is taken up in Breihan's book, mentioned above.
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:00 PM on June 5, 2022

I really enjoy this column, and am totally looking forward to Breihan's book.

One of his regular sources is Fred Bronson's The Billboard Book of Number One Hits, which, if you're into this kind of thing, might be worth checking out.
posted by box at 12:59 PM on June 5, 2022 [2 favorites]

There was a transition between when I could watch Much for a while and a song I'd like might come on; then came a period when I couldn't be bothered (except for The Wedge). I feel like the real turning point was "I'll Be Missing You," which struck me then as a shallow attempt to not only cash in on someone's death while at the same time ruining a perfectly good Police song.

Yes, there was definitely a point in the early to mid 1990s where popular music radio shifted to a much tighter playlist, genres fell off, and the 'hits' were repeated way more often. I generally like pop music but can't stand to hear the same song over and over, and that was like nails on a chalkboard. It's only gotten worse since.

I also think Puff Daddy's a talent-less hack when it comes to both producing and rapping, and that Biggie Smalls was a mush-mouthed rapper, so my tastes sort of shifted too.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:13 AM on June 6, 2022

I think Puffy gets way too much credit for pioneering making beats with really obvious '80s megahit samples in a world where MC Hammer also exists.

Biggie, on the other hand, I think is one of the best rappers to ever do it.
posted by box at 8:25 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

You would think it would be just a short hit pieces but he really digs into tracks like Snow's Informer

Wow, the note that Snow was back in jail for another knife fight while "Informer" was charting and wasn't able to tour in the US because of all the knife fights is just bonkers.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:10 PM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

.... I just lost most of my weekend to an archive dive. Gee, thanks, Superilla.
posted by Quasirandom at 12:15 PM on June 6, 2022

Squee!! I remember the Previously, and spent a day in the rabbit hole. Somewhere along the line I forgot about this most excellent list, and now plan to bookmark it so that I don't forget.

Great post - thank you!
posted by sundrop at 1:43 PM on June 6, 2022

Good to see this. I'm a baby boomer who heard "Poor Little Fool" on the radio when it was released. I've been working on catching up, some weeks more than others, since then. I'm into the early 90s now - my daughter graduated in 94. While working through the 80s, a lost period for me, I started listening closely to Sirius XM 80s on 8. I'm just starting on 90s on 9. Hip-hop, rapping, woo-hoo, Tom does a great job for this music idiot to pick up on why people get into music so deeply. I just like tunes!
posted by gp_guy at 3:23 PM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]

In loosely related, I was recently reading John Water's 'Mr Know It All', which listed his fave influential vintage novelty/weird/transgressive pop songs, and here's a list with links.
posted by ovvl at 4:09 PM on June 6, 2022

Wow, this appreciation of Ringo Starr and note about John Lennon's reaction to Ringo's success in Photograph is terrific.
posted by kristi at 3:17 PM on June 8, 2022 [1 favorite]