Bored Bean Dinghy Club: Get Hype!
June 6, 2022 2:58 AM   Subscribe

Welcom, Beanlovers! 🏄🏽‍♀️ I'm super-psyched to announce the sale of Highly Desirible original, fresh minted Bored Bean Dinghy Club NFTs 🎯 NOW ONLY for the low, low price of FREE! 🚀

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posted by taz (62 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Is this the free thread? Free Thread!
posted by freethefeet at 3:08 AM on June 6, 2022 [5 favorites]


No, you fools! Don't hodl! Slel! Slel it all nwo
posted by phooky at 3:49 AM on June 6, 2022 [5 favorites]


I can’t decide which one I like best.
posted by MtDewd at 4:17 AM on June 6, 2022


who swapped taz's latte with MethJuice(TM) ?

c'mon admit it.
posted by lalochezia at 4:35 AM on June 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


it’s the free bread folks
posted by bxvr at 4:35 AM on June 6, 2022


Double
posted by lalochezia at 4:36 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


overminting a plate of beans
posted by chavenet at 4:40 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


Shut up and take my money!!
posted by briank at 4:48 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


With all those resources being consumed just to keep track of who owns what ape, we're going to be so screwed when the aliens show up demanding the value of R(5,5).
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:00 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


Incidentally, that's about the only thing I remember from a graduate-level combinatorics course. A marginal note in the corner of our textbook about Paul Erdős and aliens. Probably why I failed the class.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:02 AM on June 6, 2022 [4 favorites]


Unless the aliens show up on September 19, RonButNotStupid, in which case it should be assumed they are asking for the value of ARR!(5.5).
posted by taz at 5:05 AM on June 6, 2022 [4 favorites]


I...think it's the free thread?!?!
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:17 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


It's the free thread!
posted by taz at 5:23 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


The first hit is always free....
posted by sammyo at 5:35 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


I was probably brought up too honest for Web3.

That said, I'm incredibly tempted to fork something and call it RugpullCoin, advertised as "I'm gonna rugpull this, but you can still make a nice profit before I do."
posted by flamewise at 5:39 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


It's only a matter of time before someone creates a new stablecoin that's backed by rugpulls of other crypto coins.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:50 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


The crypto world is such a carousel of stupid and sadness that I noped out of the description when I got to the word NFTs.* There's not even any satire left to milk out of it, just the wet crumbs of schadenfreude in the bottom of the glass.

Anyway, it's the start of a new work week for many of us. I hope you all a week full of kicking ass, and making the drudgery of capitalism into something tolerable and better for the future.

* About 10 minutes later it dawned on me that it was suspiciously upbeat for a FPP mentioning NFTs and I came back to poke it, even with the alarm sounds going off in my brain.
posted by Ookseer at 6:09 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


AskMe: I just had my rug pulled. Can you suggest a rug that would be less prone to pullage? Something that really ties the room together without costing me my child's college fund in fiat?

Answer: Dump your idiot boyfriend and get therapy!!!
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 6:13 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


I put a little rug on the floor for my dog to sit on, and he rugpulled it under the sofa and sleeps on it under there instead!
posted by moonmilk at 6:24 AM on June 6, 2022


who swapped taz's latte with MethJuice(TM)

I think you mean slurp juice. See, when you have a free thread and two slurp juices, you can
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 6:51 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


I'm presenting a talk tomorrow - and developing the talk also gave me material for the book I'm working on!

My spouse got today's Tradle on our third guess!

It's pretty nice out today!
posted by brainwane at 6:55 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


I'm watching the Queen's concert on Hulu and at one point Adam Lambert is singing his heart out and they cut to the Cambridges, the only ones sitting there looking bored AF, with the caption "I'm having such a good time" over their faces. The computer wouldn't let me screenshot that, but I took a photo with my camera.

I spent the weekend shopping and hanging out with friends, so that was fun. I need to curb the shopping, though, jeebus. This was prepandemic-level shopping.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:15 AM on June 6, 2022


taz if there was ever a time to enable the img tag for a thread
posted by dmd at 7:31 AM on June 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


Now I know what an nft is. Still prefer wooden nickels.

So... do cats like nfts?
Do they bat them under the sofa? Do they chase them down the hall?
Do cats bury them in the dying aloe vera planter (no one wants to scoop nfts out of the litter box -- ewww).
Do cats prance into the room, tail in the air, and shyly but with great dignity drop them on your foot as an after-dinner morsel?
Do cats sit by the window, chittering at them?
Do cats... ignore them?
So many questions.
posted by TrishaU at 7:54 AM on June 6, 2022


Eponysterical?

It's laundry day. I've also been playing around with the Playdate some more, and it continues to be fun. That's all I've got.
posted by May Kasahara at 8:05 AM on June 6, 2022


I'm going home tomorrow. I've been away for three weeks -- the longest period of time I've ever been away from my family -- and it's hard to express how much anticipation I have about that. This trip I'm on has been for unfortunate reasons, has been difficult but perversely joyful in some way, and has taken me to a place from my past I thought was almost totally left behind. The whole thing has been weird and strange and anxiety-provoking and frustrating and warm and cozy.

The ladies who run the hotel have taken spectacular care of me. They've treated me like family. One of them sold me a fully operational Mac 512Ke for about a quarter of the going price. I get to wander into the inner workings of the hotel and just grab whatever I need. Sometimes the hot water pot hasn't been refreshed and I just go back into the kitchen and get some out of the Bunn machine. I have had a daily correspondence by note with the housekeeper -- she's taking care of not just the room but the lilies I decorated it with -- and finally met her the other day!

Between the incredibly homey welcome at the hotel and being able to spend time at my foster parents' house every day it's been... comfortable, I guess? Not as hard as I thought it'd be? I still want to go home.

Seven and a half hours of driving tomorrow at the crack of dawn. Today, though, I take my foster mom out to the coast, look at an ocean, and then eat a fish.
posted by majick at 8:16 AM on June 6, 2022 [6 favorites]


Here you go, TrishaU
posted by taz at 8:17 AM on June 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


It’s my birthday on Wednesday and I’m in the best health I’ve been in for several years! I joined a gym two weeks ago, it’s in my building and I was a member 7 years ago pre disability, I’m doing very small workouts on the advice of my osteopath and physio but it’s just so nice to be able to come back! It’s also pride month which warms my queer heart 🌈❤️.
posted by ellieBOA at 8:44 AM on June 6, 2022 [6 favorites]


Saw an add for USDC on TV "harness the power of the internet" "marrying the investment power of crypto with the stability of USD" and all I can think is that USDC will be the next stablecoin to fall and investors are frantically trying to get out by getting other people to hodl the bag before that happens.
posted by subdee at 8:47 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


Avoided COVID for 2.25 years, including when my husband got it in May, and now it's my turn :( I am pregnant and trying to remain unstressed.
posted by subdee at 8:48 AM on June 6, 2022 [4 favorites]


I had a lousy Sunday. I had scheduled this week off from work so I could go on a 3-day camping/photo outing in a beautiful area about 6-7 hours from home, and for some boring reasons that fell through at the last minute. I spent a few hours yesterday trying to come up with an alternate plan but got too depressed and tired to continue.

I had really been anticipating this adventure because it's a place I've wanted to visit for a long time, and the first opportunity I've had in well over 2 years to give my camera a workout. Now I have to wait until this time next year to try again.

So I guess I'll just stay home and cook a bunch this week...which is fine and will be enjoyable, but not as fun as my trip would've been.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:00 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


13 year-old DOT, Jr.: I just made an NFT... a non-flushable turd.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:09 AM on June 6, 2022 [6 favorites]


It's not too late to think of an alternative, Greg_Ace! Just give your brain and feelings a little rest, and look things over once again tomorrow or whenever you're well rested and comfortable. You might find someplace to get away to for a couple of days that might turn into a bit of an unexpected adventure! Sometimes the unplanned things are great.
posted by taz at 10:15 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


The problem is, all the campgrounds in desirable photogenic places within a day's trip from me are already completely booked. We Oregonians have been cooped up indoors for months, and when the sun finally shows up we go a little nuts. Especially this year - literally this week is the first one in the PNW since early last fall with multiple days that won't be chilly, damp and overcast.

In early spring people start watching the reservation sites like hawks, waiting to pounce the moment reservations open for dates 6 months down the road. And although every campground has a few "first come, first serve" sites, at this time of year I'm not willing to risk an hours-long drive on the slim chance that I'll get lucky.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:32 AM on June 6, 2022


we are slowly working on landscaping the front yard. this weekend we did the front strip, about 15ft by 1.5? have you guys seen dahlias??? my new favorite flower!!! big bold hot pink and red with yellow centers. the rest is ice plants in various shades to fill in as ground cover. it looks great and was worth the full day of hard work.
posted by supermedusa at 10:53 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


I been hacked.
all my beans gone. plates are empty please hope me
posted by Freelance Demiurge at 10:59 AM on June 6, 2022 [5 favorites]


Billion dollar idea: HorseCoin, some kind of Ethereum ripoff. We'll all wear those horrifying horse masks to all our media events, and all our marketing copy will be filled with ridiculous equestrian puns. The real difference maker, though: we'll market ourselves as a stable coin. Not a stablecoin, mind you: a stable coin. That way, when our Ponzi scheme inevitably crashes and burns and we all flee the country with our ill-gotten lucre, we can just insist that it was just a bad pun, duh.

I'm a professional code monkey, who has heard of this so-called "blockchain" and can drop terms like "transactional ledger" and "cryptographically signed" and "NP-hard" in conversations, which makes me at least as qualified as the chuckleheads running those other scams. Send me your investment dollars by stuffing the bills into paper lunch bags with my name scribbled on them in sharpie, c/o Metafilter. Jessamyn will sort out the rest, probably.
posted by Mayor West at 11:36 AM on June 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


bitandbridlecoin
posted by taz at 11:41 AM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


That's a hell of a pony request.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:45 AM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


Sweet. With all that stake, I'll finally be able to buy my retirement chalet on Rhea.
posted by flamewise at 12:37 PM on June 6, 2022


I've been to a yacht club twice, as a guest. It's not actually any weirder than an academic faculty club, a few of which I've been a member of (it's where you take job applicants for lunch), but it's still really fucking weird. I like the idea of having a free space to interact with friends outside of work and home. I just don't actually want to interact with most people who belong to yacht clubs. Or any club, really.

A mefite club would be fun. I don't know where you put it, though. A floating club that always remains in international waters?
posted by eotvos at 12:37 PM on June 6, 2022 [2 favorites]


what's for tea, mum?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:04 PM on June 6, 2022


As a 20 year-old, I went as a +1 to a wedding at the yacht club the Kennedys use. There was amazing seafood and pasta and I stuffed myself silly. I commented to a woman that this was the best wedding food I had ever seen. "Honey," she said, with so much pity, "These are the appetizers." That is not a world I belong in.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:58 PM on June 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


On the bad news side, my mom's boyfriend's son (honorary stepbrother?) got exposed to covid, so now we all get to wait on him and on my mom/mom's boyfriend who saw him after his exposure.

On the good news side, a relative just came out of the closet after meeting someone online, so good for him.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:59 PM on June 6, 2022 [3 favorites]


One of the great turning points in my teenage life was when my parents finally joined a yacht club. It wasn't a fancy thing, they had a little boat in a little marina, no clubhouse, no ascots, it was basically a kind of HOA for the little boat owners in the little marina. But, splendidly, my parents finally learned to make friends with other grownups they were not related to, attend events other than obligatory family screaming affairs. My mom learned to make some pretty horrific cocktails and appetizers and my dad stopped chewing with his mouth open and praising Reagan. So I was left even more to my own life and friends and I'll always be grateful my parents found somebody to go play with and leave us kids alone.
posted by winesong at 3:14 PM on June 6, 2022 [4 favorites]


taquito boyfriend upgraded himself to taquito fiancé so that's been exciting
posted by taquito sunrise at 4:43 PM on June 6, 2022 [17 favorites]


When I was about eighteen my parents started making more money, and they bought an apartment in a fancy-ish seaside town about ninety minutes from our home in Santiago. My dad declared that now he wanted to buy a boat.
I'm glad he never followed through.
posted by signal at 5:33 PM on June 6, 2022


This Saturday is Pride in Spokane. Nice non-commercialized event that I've watched grow from nothing to something pretty big over my years in this area. Quite looking forward to it after 2 years with nothing.

Also that night a really interesting band from Seattle, Polyrythmics, are playing in town. I figure we'll make a day of it and have our first Grand Day Out in a very long time. I really could use it.

Anyone else in the area? MeMail me and let's make it MoreMeFiFun!
posted by hippybear at 6:23 PM on June 6, 2022


I just rewatched O Brother, Where Art Thou? for the first time in a long while. It's music is still so good. I'm not sure everything works for me, but it was a really nice pick me up today.
posted by Carillon at 11:52 PM on June 6, 2022 [1 favorite]


20 years ago today my lovely wife, then girlfriend, and I had breakfast at St Bartholomew's on Park Avenue in New York. The wait staff, who all seemed to be upscale teen volunteers, on hearing that it was our wedding day, comped us the meal.
We then took the subway to New York City Hall, where we waited in the same line we'd been in the day before, when we got our license, together with other couples getting married, some in full bridal regalia, and also people paying tickets and doing other municipal bureaucracy related tasks.
We had to go through a series of public employees who ran the gamut from friendly to surly, including one lady who got very testy about the fact that my wife wasn't changing her name ("I don't see why you're getting married then", her exact words), and finally got sent to a separate room, where a friendly man of Puerto Rican descent married us in Spanglish. The only witnesses were my mother-in-law's cousin, her husband and their two kids. They invited us to lunch on one of the piers near the Brooklyn Bridge.
All in all, it was my dream wedding.
When we went back home to Chile that December, our parents had organized a 'real' wedding, officiated by a well-known TV astrologer. My mom rang the gong. Then there was the lunch, the dancing, etc.
But we always consider the NY wedding our 'real' one, because it was just for us.
We're going to a fancy dinner tonight at a Japanese grill. My wife gave me a spanking new rose-gold MacBook air. Coincidentally, I had an actual rose-gold diamond ring made for her, but I'm giving it to her tonight at the restaurant.
How's your day going?
posted by signal at 8:50 AM on June 7, 2022 [11 favorites]


My wife gave me a spanking
I rather expected that to go in a different direction. ¡Salud!

(My day so far is as annoying as it can possibly do. But, I have a dear friend to commiserate with. So, that part's good.)
posted by eotvos at 9:17 AM on June 7, 2022 [1 favorite]


I feel pretty decent. I've been taking Melatonin to try to sleep, and it ... seems like it's kind of working? I actually got a little bit of somewhat normal sleep last night for the first time in longer than I can remember, and wow, it feels so much different than being just a ragged hank of humanoid material. I actually cleaned up our little side terrace and am ready to start reinstating our modest herb garden there. Having enough energy to do more than just job and the bare basics of housekeeping is neato. I kind of remember this.
posted by taz at 10:23 AM on June 7, 2022 [2 favorites]


Sometimes I send letters during the pandemic and I keep thinking of Mr. Mayor’s Gen Z guide to mail: we put it in the letter purse ✉️ with the special stickers and we feed it to the robot 📮!
posted by Monochrome at 6:23 PM on June 7, 2022


I HAVE CONQUERED THE YEASTY ARTS

Well...I made focaccia, an easy and forgiving bread, for the first time ever. And it didn't suck!! Go me!

I will give the first person to say "beginner's luck" such a pinch
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:16 PM on June 7, 2022 [3 favorites]


I only found out last week what the Bored Ape Yacht Club was, and after a quick look, was too bored to explore it further.

But we actually belong to a real yacht club, though it's a self-help, ascot-free sort of club, and our boat is on the small side. With a small older sailboat, and a modest club or marina, it's not necessarily that expensive a pastime, if anyone's ever considered boating. I reckon our annual cost, all in, is less than smoking a pack a day. Less coughing too.

This past weekend I crewed on a larger boat for my first overnight race on Lake Ontario. Over 20 hours on the water, and it was too rough and windy for me to sleep... but we made it. So all told I was awake for about 36 hours straight, something I hadn't done for like 30+ years. But I felt ok at the end of it, and after a nice dinner and an 11 hour sleep, I felt like a million bucks.

I hope my summer hasn't peaked too early.
posted by Artful Codger at 11:11 AM on June 8, 2022 [2 favorites]


I grew up in Kansas. My dad enjoyed sailing. Eventually, he bought property near a reservoir in Kansas (Perry Lake). Got in to a "yacht club" that was pretty much just a spot on the lake with docks. Near the end, I think they built a building to serve as a party space. But it wasn't really a yacht club.

Much like fishing, (he was an avid flyfisher as well), I don't like sailing or fishing. Too many times getting knocked off the boat by an unintended jibe, and getting hooks in me I guess...
posted by Windopaene at 9:59 PM on June 8, 2022


Quick reminder that we've got a user survey running for a few more days if you haven't already taken it. :)
posted by curious nu at 5:08 AM on June 9, 2022


So, the day after my birthday, tested positive for Covid! I had managed to avoid it up to this point, I have chronic illnesses that make it unclear how I will react to it, but I am thankfully double boosted and having mild symptoms so far. In France we have to isolate for 5-7 days so I’m watching loads of Taskmaster.
posted by ellieBOA at 9:30 AM on June 10, 2022


I wake up way too early every goddamned morning now and I'm sick of it.

I have news stories I am reading about right now that I don't think really deserve FPP status/would spark much conversation if I did FPP, but I shall mention them here.

(a) Post-Jubilee, Harry and Meghan’s Feud With the Royals Is Uglier Than Ever For those unaware, H&M briefly went to one Jubilee event, peeked at another one, threw a private birthday party for the baby and then went home and that was it. This may have been their decision to lay low, or perhaps... not and this was all royal family shunning. His brother and the fam literally left town to avoid them, his father cold shouldered in public as well. And apparently they weren't allowed to take pictures with Granny and the baby?!
"The royal family looked like they were offering an olive branch, but it turned out to be a baseball bat.”

While sources at the palace have been unwilling to tell The Daily Beast whether or not Harry and Meghan were invited to attend either the concert on Saturday night or the pageant on Sunday afternoon, it seems unlikely given that they were firmly and deliberately excluded from all the big family group photo-ops.

“The palace didn’t want to hand Archewell another decade of legitimacy with pictures of them and the queen and Lilibet with the queen,” says Larcombe.

“Archie had his photo taken with the queen and Prince Philip when he was two days old. To deny this to Lily on her first birthday just seems unnecessarily mean-spirited. The queen could have overruled her handlers on this one issue, and of course she could have allowed the Sussexes to appear on the balcony with the rest of the family at some point during the jubilee. This was a historic event and to exclude Harry and Meghan from the visual record just seems wrong.”
(b) Todd and Julie Chrisley are going to jail. You're thinking, "Should I have heard of these people?" and the answer is, no, you should not have! They are on a USA reality TV show called "Chrisley Knows Best," which clearly needs a renaming since they are now going to jail for fraud. I only know these people exist because it was on at my mom's prepandemic and I saw a few episodes. Two things are very obvious about the show: that Todd is a jerky arrogant asshole, and that Todd is, to borrow from a comment thread I saw, "Leslie Jordan gay." However, Todd is married to a lady in the South and Christian and you know how that goes. The dude is so flaming that one absolutely can't pretend you think he might be 100% straight. He has had some...interesting...responses to that issue, though.

Anyway, why are they going to jail? Because he had an affair with a dude years ago, it ended poorly, blackmail was involved...and now they are going to jail for fraud and tax evasion. LOLOLOLOLOL. Oh yeah, and the words "sex tape" did come up, albeit not with Todd. If you want to read more, I apologize, but the best free article I found was a Daily Mail link.

(c) UC Davis first undergraduate commencement ceremony (1 of 3) literally canceled mid-show due to heat.. Once upon a time pre-pandemic, the chancellor got the bright idea to combine the seven undergraduate ceremonies into three giant mega-ceremonies, specifically to get more famous commencement speakers who are more likely to come if there are over 10k people at the event. This meant issues like people being confused as to what ceremony they were in, having less tickets for their family members available, and the original plan was to move the graduations to the Golden 1 Center in Sacramento.

That last one is where there's a problem: for whatever reason (I assume covid or perhaps high pricing for Golden 1 use), the graduation ceremonies are being held outside this year. In a climate where the temperatures are frequently around 90-ish-100 degrees. This unsuccessful petition points out the very obvious flaws in this plan, such as "Pre-2020 ceremonies with about 500 to 600 graduating students took two hours. How are we supposed to expect that 2,500 students will walk the stage at a ceremony within two hours if in the past, ceremonies with a quarter of the students took two hours?"

The idea was to have them between 8-10 a.m. to beat the heat. They did not manage this, as the ceremony started very late, was still going at 11 a.m., apparently there wasn't a lot of water either, and eventually they were forced to shut down the ceremony in mid-walk. Since Saturday is also supposed to be very hot, the solution for today is to simply eliminate all students getting to walk at all. The university claims they will have some kind of make-up ceremony for this. A point that many people are making and that I agree with is, WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT THE COMMENCEMENT SPEAKERS?!?! Unless you have Taylor Swift speaking (fyi, UCD's speaker list this year.), nobody remembers who spoke at their commencement. Nobody CARES because all they care about is their kid walking the stage. Literally they are prioritizing the speakers over the students.

I note that UC Davis Reddit is on FIRE right now and I'm so curious as to whether or not people will boycott Saturday, throw a public shit fit, yell "LET US WALK," or what.

On a happier note, at least Britney finally got married even if her first ex broke into the ceremony with a knife, FFS.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:27 AM on June 11, 2022 [2 favorites]






The UC Davis graduation debacle seems both predictable and avoidable. What a shitshow.
posted by mollweide at 9:58 AM on June 11, 2022 [1 favorite]


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