"I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works"
June 20, 2022 7:44 AM   Subscribe

 
Hard to find these things funny when there's no accountability at all.
posted by Gadarene at 7:54 AM on June 20 [23 favorites]


Hard to find these things funny when there's no accountability at all.

Yeah, I came in to say the same thing. If he'd been charged and was now defending himself or actually in prison, his begging for a preemptive pardon would be funny. As it is? Both pathetic and infuriating.
posted by Ickster at 8:00 AM on June 20 [12 favorites]


Somehow buffoonery has become overpowered.
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 8:02 AM on June 20 [2 favorites]


Two days ago, Trump said that, if reelected, he would 'very, very seriously' consider pardoning January 6 defendants.

Then George Conway called it an 'attempt at witness tampering,' and Lindsey Graham said it was 'inappropriate,' and Trump called him a RINO.

Then Michael Cohen, continuing to LARP the end of Goodfellas, told MSNBC "He's done this before. Because what he's really saying here is that he doesn't want these people to cooperate, and if you don't cooperate, then I'll pardon you. And here's where the grift comes in, right. First and foremost, he's not going to become president again. And second, he doesn't know you, and more importantly, he doesn't care about you."
posted by box at 8:20 AM on June 20 [22 favorites]


Our own jscalzi has, IMO, the best one.
posted by signal at 8:58 AM on June 20 [22 favorites]


Sometimes all you can do is laugh. Cheers! In a sad way.

I am, perhaps naively, far less worried about the Jan 6 idiots than the actions of rule-abiding lawmakers in elected positions since then. These assholes did kill and hurt quite a few people, but in the history of the US, it's hard to see it as uniquely bad. Or even unusual. A destined-to-fail coup isn't great, but much less dangerous than the very successful subversion of (and return to a historically fake and racist simulacrum of) democracy.

At the circus, it's easy for the clowns to capture one's attention. But, it's the elephants who are actually suffering.
posted by eotvos at 9:24 AM on June 20 [6 favorites]


It doesn't seem like a wild leap that these turkeys thought that a pardon list might still be in the works. Jan 6 was just 2 weeks after Trump outrageously pardoned Roger Stone and Paul Manafort, among others.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 10:28 AM on June 20 [5 favorites]


Then George Conway called it an 'attempt at witness tampering,' and Lindsey Graham said it was 'inappropriate,' and Trump called him a RINO.

Then Senate candidate from Missouri, Eric Greitens, released an ad (Twitter) about "RINO hunting permits" and portraying a no-knock style raid on a house with a shotgun and crew of militarized operators.
posted by rhizome at 12:30 PM on June 20 [2 favorites]


Well, that's one way to get in front of those domestic violence, child abuse, extramarital affair/sexual blackmail, campaign finance violation, and resignation stories.
posted by box at 1:05 PM on June 20 [8 favorites]


Hard to find these things funny when there's no accountability at all.


We'll see. At the very least, Eastman is facing a licensing proceeding in California. Criminal charges against him and other guys-in-suits may yet be coming; those kinds of cases take time to build. I'm not super optimistic about it, but the fact that he and others haven't been charged yet is not necessarily an indication of anything.

My favorite:

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
I've decided that I should be
on the pardon list
if that is still in the works
posted by mikeand1 at 1:14 PM on June 20 [26 favorites]


If you're gonna use Python, you have to go with a deep cut.
posted by whuppy at 1:54 PM on June 20 [3 favorites]


Macbeth: I am in blood stepped in so far that, should I wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er. I've decided that I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works.
posted by kirkaracha at 2:22 PM on June 20 [10 favorites]


Then the LORD asked Cain, Where is your brother Abel? He answered, “I do not know. Am I my brother’s keeper? I've decided that I should be on the pardon list, if that is still in the works.”
posted by ActingTheGoat at 3:42 PM on June 20 [12 favorites]


There's a few in the guilty dog variety but this one is my favorite.
posted by Candleman at 4:35 PM on June 20 [7 favorites]


A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Ftftftftft. I've decided that I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:56 PM on June 20 [2 favorites]


* Bang! * Sic semper tyrannis! I've decided that I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:57 PM on June 20 [2 favorites]


Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him? I've decided that I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works.
posted by praemunire at 7:40 AM on June 21 [1 favorite]


I think my mask of sanity is about to slip. I've decided that I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works.
posted by box at 7:45 AM on June 21 [1 favorite]


I plan to live forever, of course, but barring that I'd settle for a couple thousand years. I've decided that I should be on the pardon list if that is still in the works.
posted by polytope subirb enby-of-piano-dice at 10:28 AM on June 21 [2 favorites]


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