COVID vaccines approved for Americans under five.
June 30, 2022 6:07 AM   Subscribe

For the second time in less than a year[YT] Ted Cruz (Republican senator for Texas) has got into a Twitter fight with a muppet; this time 3.5 year Elmo of tickle me fame. The feud the result of the FDA approving COVID vaccines for children under five.
posted by Mitheral (54 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
The photo of Elmo and Cruz is well chosen.
posted by zerobyproxy at 6:32 AM on June 30, 2022


I see the competition for "dumbest person in Congress", a seat being vacated by Louie Gohmert, is starting early. I mean, Rafey was already shortlisted, but with the (hopeful) loss of people like Madison Cawthorn, MTG, and Lauren Bobert, the list keeps getting shorter.

It's just astounding how anti-science these people are. What do they get out of it, other than political points (which is probably the reason)? They're causing people to be hurt, to get sick, and risking Long COVID, which is devastating... and then voting against any way to help these people. Do they actually WANT them homeless? There has to be an endgame goal other than "hold power". Even fascists need people to follow them.
posted by mephron at 6:41 AM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


I know who the fuckin' muppet is here, and it ain't Elmo.
posted by heteronym at 6:48 AM on June 30, 2022 [26 favorites]


I don't have any investment in the myths of strength and masculinity that the GOP professes to exalt. But it's wild to juxtapose those notions with the reality of sniveling suck-up Ted Cruz.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 6:56 AM on June 30, 2022 [9 favorites]


I truly don't know how to cope with the level of villainy. I live-streamed the FDA VRBPAC hearing, as I had been waiting for a vaccine for my preschooler for YEARS, and when Louie Gohmert called in to spew his antivax propaganda, I almost lost it. Republicans are operating at cartoon-level evil. Why take the time to try to prevent children from getting vaccines? I mean, I know why. It's just hard to absorb.
posted by Il etait une fois at 7:04 AM on June 30, 2022 [7 favorites]


This creep knows exactly what he is doing. He will say or do anything for any amount of attention He is everything that is awful about politics.
posted by zzazazz at 7:05 AM on June 30, 2022 [7 favorites]


I liked LGBTQ Nation's take on this story. Turns out the gay news is a good way to learn about some of this absurdity.
posted by Nelson at 7:17 AM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]


He is everything that is awful about politics.

And he is a completely typical conservative. Antivaxx is a mainstream Republican value.

It simply is not possible to be conservative and be a good person. Trump got 11 million more votes in 2020 then he did in 2016. They vote for him because of his racism and terrible views, not in spite of them.
posted by AlSweigart at 7:21 AM on June 30, 2022 [26 favorites]


NYT TV critic James Poniewozik tweeted, "Looks like Ted Cruz is gonna make me tap the sign again" and linked to an article from last year (the last time Cruz picked his stupid fight) about how Sesame Street has always been political (gift link should work for everyone).
Cruz was at least on to one larger truth: “Sesame Street” is political, and it has been from the beginning.

It is political not in a partisan sense but because the way we teach and protect children — and choose which children to teach and protect — is inevitably bound up in politicized ideas.
posted by fedward at 7:33 AM on June 30, 2022 [4 favorites]


Ted Cruz is not dumb. He clerked for William Rehnquist. He is, however, an asshole. I would bet a nickel he is fully vaccinated.
posted by adamrice at 7:39 AM on June 30, 2022 [32 favorites]


I love this old article about Ted Cruz's college debate buddies
"More than anyone I knew, Ted seemed to have arrived in college with a fully formed worldview,” Butler College colleague Erik Leitch said. “And what strikes me now, looking at him as an adult and hearing the things he's saying, it seems like nothing has changed. Four years of an Ivy League education, Harvard Law, and years of life experience have altered nothing."

... And the idea that his freshman roommate could someday be the leader of the free world? “I would rather have anybody else be the president of the United States. Anyone,” Mazin said. “I would rather pick somebody from the phone book."
posted by Nelson at 7:48 AM on June 30, 2022 [21 favorites]


I know who the fuckin' muppet is here, and it ain't Elmo

I think you mean a Moopet not a Muppet.
posted by jmauro at 7:51 AM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


Don't worry Mephron, we've absolutely lost Cawthorn. I even switched party registration just to vote against him. He lost his primary and he's gone in January.

Finally got the little monster his first Pfizer shot on Friday. A coworker and her daughter (fully vaccinated and boosted) came over to play Saturday, and of course I got the call yesterday that the daughter had a sore throat, got tested, and came back positive.
posted by The Monster at the End of this Thread at 7:58 AM on June 30, 2022 [4 favorites]


Ted Cruz is not dumb. He clerked for William Rehnquist. He is, however, an asshole. I would bet a nickel he is fully vaccinated.

Cruz is a highly intelligent, highly capable man with not a shred of pity inside him. His closest analogues in American politics are Tom Cotton and Eric Greitens. The more he angers the left with his pettiness, his smarminess, his remorseless hypocrisy, his all of it, the more his base gets to chuckle at how good he's triggering the libs. He knows precisely what he's doing when he harangues muppets on the internet. As unbelievably stupid as it is, it's one of the things keeping him in power.
posted by cubeb at 8:05 AM on June 30, 2022 [16 favorites]


Yeah, I don’t understand Ted Cruz. The man is clearly sharp as fuck, yet he chose to spend his life doing this. I mean, if you’re a smart, remorseless person without a shred of empathy, why not spend your time getting rich as Midas? Is it for power? An extremely wealthy person probably has more power than a senator. Is it because he thought he could be President?

It just doesn’t make any sense to me.
posted by mr_roboto at 8:11 AM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]


Canada would've done the world a great service if we'd refused to let him drop his Canadian citizenship in exchange for giving Conrad Black his US citizenship back
posted by scruss at 8:16 AM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]


if you’re a smart, remorseless person without a shred of empathy, why not spend your time getting rich as Midas?

Well, he did double his net worth from 2011 to 2018 (though he's well down from his 2016 peak)
posted by ook at 8:22 AM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


The man is clearly sharp as fuck, yet he chose to spend his life doing this. I mean, if you’re a smart, remorseless person without a shred of empathy, why not spend your time getting rich as Midas?

Parallel to his cynical willingness to dive into idiotic culture war shit, Cruz also has a strain of the True Believer inside him. His squeaky-clean ascent through the meritocracy speaks to the arrested mentality of a Very Good Boy, an almost puppylike eagerness to serve the system that has rewarded him so richly.
posted by cubeb at 8:24 AM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]


Cruz is a highly intelligent, highly capable man with not a shred of pity inside him. His closest analogues in American politics are Tom Cotton and Eric Greitens.

Before Trump, I would've said that all three of them lack the empathy and social awareness to realize they're too unlikable to ever be President. But that Jimmy Stewart stuff turned out to be bullshit. A lot of people want to root for the heel.
posted by box at 8:33 AM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]




The man is clearly sharp as fuck, yet he chose to spend his life doing this. I mean, if you’re a smart, remorseless person without a shred of empathy, why not spend your time getting rich as Midas?

I honestly think it's just a lack of imagination. I hear people talk about how smart he is, but what gets lost in the chatter is how uninteresting he is. I have never heard him say one single thing that has made me tilt my head and go, "huh." He talks a big game, and yet somehow you just know he is the one guy you never want to get stuck with at parties, because he is so deadly boring.
posted by nushustu at 8:53 AM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]


Why all the hate for Ted Cruz? Just kidding. I know. Ted may not be wealthy like Pelosi, but I would bet my last dollar that the day he retires from the Senate, he becomes a highly paid consultant to Fox News, is a highly paid lobbyist for someone or anyone, and gets several highly paid no show board seats on public companies. He is the next Newt Gingrich in that regard.

Elmo does not get off free here. When my kids were of age, they had a Tickle Me Elmo. That toy was the most evil toy ever. EVER. It eventually led to a Gunn family agreement about what was appropriate to get a nephew or niece for the holidays or birthdays. NO TOYS WITH BATTERIES. Want to get them a knife? Sure as long as it has no batteries and makes no sound. But the knife can cut them? Sure, kiss the booboo and put an Elmo bandaid on it as long as it makes no sound!

I would not have gotten my Elmo a vax. I would have hoped that covid would ruin the batteries before I got them vaxxed. After the battery died, then vax and cookies for Elmo. (Yes, we did replace the working batteries with depleted ones and told the kids that Elmo was broken. Really, it was me that was a broken man from the sound of Elmo.)

I still don't see why Cruz cares if a parent wants to get their toddler vaxxed or not. Assuming the FDA says it is safe and you believe the FDA, then why does he or anyone else care what a parent chooses?
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:05 AM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]


Two kinds of people get to be President: bright shiny objects who attract the attention of the American people for better or worse, and mildly dull VPs with inertia and institutional support.

Cruz probably needs to be VP if he’s going to be president, and that seems unlikely because everyone personally dislikes him.
posted by Artw at 9:06 AM on June 30, 2022 [4 favorites]




Trump got 11 million more votes in 2020 then he did in 2016. They vote for him because of his racism and terrible views, not in spite of them.

More likely most voted for him because he wasn't a Democrat. That's all it takes.
posted by Liquidwolf at 9:43 AM on June 30, 2022


And he is a completely typical conservative. Antivaxx is a mainstream Republican value.

Anti is the core Republican value. Name anything positive and republicans are anti on that. The list is long.. College? Anti, Environment? Anti, Life? Anti, Freedom of anything? Anti, Healthcare? Anti, Regulation? Anti, Free Speech? Anti, Democracy? Anti.

They have pretty much morphed into the "Nyet Nyet Soviet" they used to mock during the cold war (though that was also a mis-representation but you get my point I hope). It is really quite amazing how they have come to define themselves as the negators of everything.

Hating the muppets or mickey mouse is really just an absurdist cherry on top of a massive pile of "anti".
posted by srboisvert at 10:14 AM on June 30, 2022 [2 favorites]


"More than anyone I knew, Ted seemed to have arrived in college with a fully formed worldview,” Butler College colleague Erik Leitch said. “And what strikes me now, looking at him as an adult and hearing the things he's saying, it seems like nothing has changed. Four years of an Ivy League education, Harvard Law, and years of life experience have altered nothing."
That is one of the most dangerous types of people. That's, like, Inspector Javert levels of dangerous.

In SAG-AFTRA terminology, an "under-five" is a pay category between extra and day player, for actors who have fewer than five lines of dialogue. I keep seeing headlines about under-fives being eligible for the vaccine, and getting a mental picture of all these bit players in costume lined up at the vaccination clinic.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:14 AM on June 30, 2022 [12 favorites]


Anti is the core Republican value. Name anything positive and republicans are anti on that. The list is long.. College? Anti, Environment? Anti, Life? Anti, Freedom of anything? Anti, Healthcare? Anti, Regulation? Anti, Free Speech? Anti, Democracy? Anti.

I don't know what they have to say,
It makes no difference anyway,
Whatever it is, I'm against it!

(youtube)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:18 AM on June 30, 2022 [6 favorites]


Best thing ever said about him was when Franken said, "I like Ted Cruz better than anyone else in the Senate and I hate Ted Cruz."
posted by dobbs at 10:22 AM on June 30, 2022 [4 favorites]


I know someone who dated him in college. She told us the most hilarious story once, while we were all just stunned silent at that bombshell of news dropped into our evening, about him going nuts on a shop owner once over an expired coupon and how he should still be allowed to use it. Brought all his debate team tactics and wore the shop owner down, I guess. Anyway, we were dying with laughter by the time she finished, but I simply could never get over the idea of my bubbly, funny, charming acquaintance going out with that sniveling, spineless, venal, toadying, soulless bootlicker.
posted by kitten kaboodle at 11:22 AM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]


Smart people are often lazy.

Specifically to this conversation, the US political system has degenerated to the point where to get reelected, you don't need to get anything done to get re-eelected, you only need to avoid pissing off the people who control your political party, because in many states the only election that matters is the primary. And in closed primaries, you cater to the maniacs in your party, not the voters.
posted by meowzilla at 11:43 AM on June 30, 2022


She told us the most hilarious story once, while we were all just stunned silent at that bombshell of news dropped into our evening, about him going nuts on a shop owner once over an expired coupon and how he should still be allowed to use it. Brought all his debate team tactics and wore the shop owner down, I guess. Anyway, we were dying with laughter by the time she finished, but I simply could never get over the idea of my bubbly, funny, charming acquaintance going out with that sniveling, spineless, venal, toadying, soulless bootlicker.

This is pretty good measure of the particular kind of awful rich guy energy he must radiate because I, a fellow middle aged guy, used coupons extensively in the before times in America and sometimes I messed up and tried to use an expired coupon or had a slightly incorrect product and even when I said 'I messed that one up' the cashiers almost always just gave me the discount anyway. I think you have to really trigger a min. wage cashier for them to go all rules-lawyer on you (or I assume be a visible minority and encounter a racist cashier).
posted by srboisvert at 11:57 AM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


The sad part is that Ted Cruz or not there really doesn't seem to be much uptake of the under-5 vaccines yet. It's been two weeks and there is no uptick in vaccination numbers in the US like you would expect when vaccines availability is opened up to a new group with pent up demand.
posted by srboisvert at 12:06 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


I know a parent who's been desperate to schedule them and only got appointments today for a few weeks from now (Massachusetts). She said local pharmacies are refusing to vaccinate kids under 5, so the only choice is the pediatrician's office.

My point being, we really don't know yet how the numbers will shake out. Many people have been waiting a long time to get these youngsters protected.
posted by tiny frying pan at 12:13 PM on June 30, 2022 [7 favorites]


There has to be an endgame goal other than "hold power".

There really isn't.
posted by flabdablet at 12:18 PM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]


Also kids that young are often still getting basic shots. If I still had a two year old who was scheduled for shots in the next few months I'd probably delay until then.
posted by Mitheral at 12:20 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


Like a lot of things related to the pandemic right now, I don't know how accurate those numbers are anymore.

My city's covid dashboard doesn't even have a category for ages five and under - presumably the person who ran those has been reassigned or doesn't work there anymore. The mass vaccination sites are all closed now, and you're stuck with the terrible mishmash of decentralized pharmacy scheduling systems that only have availability at 3 AM and may not be updated to allow five and under. My doctor's office doesn't have any appointments for a month either.

It definitely doesn't help that demographically, many of the "strong urban Democratic areas" are also the ones where housing costs have gone stratospheric, pushing out families with children in the belief that only correct place to raise kids is a single family home with a backyard and two cars in the driveway.
posted by meowzilla at 12:27 PM on June 30, 2022


Nthing that the under five vaccines are actually considerably harder to get than we have made the regular vaccines at this point. I'm also a parent of an almost 3-year-old who will get the COVID vaccine along with their regular set next month.

I was a bit surprised that there was not the immediate rush that we prepared for many months ago and it seemed like this was about to happen, but I'm afraid even we have been worn down by the variety of mild infections and the seeming impossibility of keeping kids from passing diseases around. You would think that would inspire faster action, but on the contrary, as the comment or above noted, the vaccine reduces risk, but in ways that are hard to perceive in a still highly infectious environment.

I don't love that we got here, but I would not fret too much about under five numbers not growing for at least another month.
posted by abulafa at 12:35 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


Wow, I hate Elmo, but by comparison to Cruz he's gold.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:36 PM on June 30, 2022 [2 favorites]


Cruz was a clerk for Chief Justice Rehnquist, and "often dwelled on the lurid details of murders that other clerks tended to summarize" and seemed “'obsessed' with capital punishment.”

At Justice Scalia’s funeral he asked to sit with the Scalia clerks. They said no. Then he asked to sit with GOP leadership and they said no, too.

You know no one likes you if you get snubbed at a funeral.
posted by kirkaracha at 12:43 PM on June 30, 2022 [15 favorites]


srboisvert: Anti is the core Republican value. Name anything positive and republicans are anti on that. The list is long.. College? Anti, Environment? Anti, Life? Anti, Freedom of anything? Anti, Healthcare? Anti, Regulation? Anti, Free Speech? Anti, Democracy? Anti.

They have pretty much morphed into the "Nyet Nyet Soviet" they used to mock during the cold war (though that was also a mis-representation but you get my point I hope). It is really quite amazing how they have come to define themselves as the negators of everything.


“A conservative is someone who stands athwart history, yelling Stop, at a time when no one is inclined to do so, or to have much patience with those who so urge it.”
posted by issue #1 at 1:26 PM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]


So why are people saying Cruz is smart? Because he was on ok lawyer? He constantly gets dragged on twitter and in any real debate, even against newscasters, flummox him. He's more like robot who can memorize some legal lines and case work, but he can't seem to think on his feet, he's not particularly popular, and he gets in dumb fights that any reasonably intelligent person would leave alone.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:41 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


like against muppets.
posted by The_Vegetables at 1:48 PM on June 30, 2022


You know no one likes you if you get snubbed at a funeral.

/adds to scorecard
posted by NoThisIsPatrick at 3:56 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


Took my toddlers to the minute clinic for their first COVID vax of the series last Thursday. Made friends/high fived every under-five (and especially their parents) in the place. We were all just so joyful and excited. We have been waiting SO LONG for this. The PA who was administering them to my 2.75 yr old twins was being kind about asking me to hold one down. I told her I would smash him to the ground for her if she wanted. We didn't need do so, but my point is that in the car on the way home after shot 1 of 3, my husband and I cried.
posted by atomicstone at 5:10 PM on June 30, 2022 [11 favorites]


I might be wrong about this, but I think Ted Cruz’s end goal at this point might be a seat on the Supreme Court. Those folks don’t need to worry about getting elected, which even in TX isn’t getting any easier, they’re far more powerful than a senator, and you don’t write a book like One Vote Away (link to Regnery, which publishes some real turds) because you’re running for president. And he could make history as the nation’s highest court’s first shitposter.
posted by box at 5:28 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


So why are people saying Cruz is smart? Because he was on ok lawyer? He constantly gets dragged on twitter and in any real debate, even against newscasters, flummox him

He reminds me more than a bit of Bobby Jindal, who somehow manages to combine "Rhodes Scholar" with "complained on national television that monitoring volcanoes to warn of eruptions is a waste of taxpayer money." If you watch closely, you can see both of them die a little bit more inside every time they loudly repeat the day's idiotic GOP talking point.

n.b. Cruz went to Harvard Law. I'm pretty confident he could take Elmo in a debate, but he's also smart enough to know that (1) pwning a muppet with fancy book learnin' would alienate the base and (2) even if he wins, the ghost of Carol Spinney will be waiting in the parking lot to kick his ass
posted by Mayor West at 5:53 PM on June 30, 2022 [5 favorites]


Still baffled as to why a guy everyone hates still wins all the elections.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:06 PM on June 30, 2022 [1 favorite]


Impatiently waiting for the under five vaccine approval in Canada, and somewhat secure in the belief that even with everything else, at least Alberta will order the shots like all the other provinces.
I hope.
Though we do have a big (4 billion!) budget surplus right now, so it's probably time for yet more cuts to education and healthcare...
posted by Acari at 6:11 PM on June 30, 2022


Still baffled as to why a guy everyone hates still wins all the elections.

I might offer the deeply stupid ’If You’re Gonna Run in Texas.’
posted by box at 6:21 PM on June 30, 2022


My toddler's appointment is still a week+ off. Agree with other posters that for under-3's it's hard to find a place to get the shot since most pharmacies don't vaccinate kids that young, so "early numbers" are pretty meaningless.

Said toddler is also trying to figure out the concept of Muppets these days and keeps asking me at random times "Mommy tell me again what is Muppet" and "Mommy can me see video of Muppet with Person" and other such surreal queries and then gets mad at me when I find them funny and comes up with bangers like "Mommy why laugh when me just trying to find out about Muppet". It's so, so funny. I'm laughing right now just thinking about it. Guess I gotta show her Elmo getting his shot as her incentive to sit still when she gets hers.
posted by potrzebie at 11:42 PM on June 30, 2022 [3 favorites]


Still baffled as to why a guy everyone hates still wins all the elections.

Inertia can be a powerful thing. And the number of Americans willing to cut their own noses off to spite their faces never ceases to amaze me.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:04 AM on July 1, 2022


jenfullmoon: "Still baffled as to why a guy everyone hates still wins all the elections."

Because A) sitting senators generally don't face primary challenges unless they've pissed off Club for Growth or something like that, and B) this is Texas, where Democrats don't win statewide office.
posted by adamrice at 5:24 AM on July 1, 2022 [2 favorites]


Still baffled as to why a guy everyone hates still wins all the elections

Voter Suppression. Ted Cruz specifically was a hacketman for ending the Voting Rights Act in 2013.
posted by eustatic at 6:25 PM on July 2, 2022


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