“Mtn” isn’t even how you abbreviate the word “mountain"
July 14, 2022 9:44 PM Subscribe
Solid field report.
posted by latkes at 10:00 PM on July 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by latkes at 10:00 PM on July 14, 2022 [6 favorites]
If you drink this, be warned: you may start crying, finally confident in the knowledge that humanity is done for.
posted by solotoro at 10:02 PM on July 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by solotoro at 10:02 PM on July 14, 2022 [4 favorites]
This makes me want Mountain Dew neither more nor less than I did before reading it, which is honestly quite an accomplishment for an article about Mountain Dew. IMO, the basic variety is like not especially good but better than Surge was. Probably some of these flavors are worse than Surge was, though.
None of them taste anything like actual dew though.
posted by aubilenon at 10:07 PM on July 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
None of them taste anything like actual dew though.
posted by aubilenon at 10:07 PM on July 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
This was a solidly funny list!
posted by gryphonlover at 10:10 PM on July 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by gryphonlover at 10:10 PM on July 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Really really solid, but this is where I started audibly cracking up:
My husband noted it had a faint amaro flavor, because he is lying to himself.
posted by Carillon at 10:57 PM on July 14, 2022 [10 favorites]
My husband noted it had a faint amaro flavor, because he is lying to himself.
posted by Carillon at 10:57 PM on July 14, 2022 [10 favorites]
A claim is made that one of the flavors is a Dollar General exclusive, but like certainly anything that is sold solely at Dollar General has to use a word meaning the opposite of exclusive?
posted by Literaryhero at 11:26 PM on July 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by Literaryhero at 11:26 PM on July 14, 2022 [7 favorites]
The comments from mountain dew enthusiasts unironically suggesting more flavours she should try cracked me up.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 12:13 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 12:13 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Reading this, I realize I have not had a Mt Dew in at least 30 years, despite in general eating like a 6th grader given free reign in a 7-11. The article does not have me reaching for the car keys to run to the gas station mini-mart to get some.
Plus I have the impression it's the beverage of choice for particularly toxic bros, and I don't want the stigma (they'd clash with the stigmas I have).
posted by maxwelton at 12:31 AM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
Plus I have the impression it's the beverage of choice for particularly toxic bros, and I don't want the stigma (they'd clash with the stigmas I have).
posted by maxwelton at 12:31 AM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
So getting over my shock that there's apparently more than one flavour (we only get one here in the UK), I go on to discover that we're not missing out on anything.
And then I got sidetracked into that article about how all Skittles apparently taste the same, and how somebody has made an entire waste of my time without saying anything about how smell is such an integral part of how things taste that you really can't separate smell and taste in human perception.
Aaaaargh.
Main article highly entertaining though. Definitely not going to drink any Mtn Dew any time soon.
posted by mathw at 1:00 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
And then I got sidetracked into that article about how all Skittles apparently taste the same, and how somebody has made an entire waste of my time without saying anything about how smell is such an integral part of how things taste that you really can't separate smell and taste in human perception.
Aaaaargh.
Main article highly entertaining though. Definitely not going to drink any Mtn Dew any time soon.
posted by mathw at 1:00 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
There isn't enough toothpaste to rinse that stuff away.
I like cola. I like candy. I have no love for the blech that is Mountain Dew. Geraldine and her husband and friends took a bullet for me, so that is one item off my "Who wants to rot their teeth? For science?" list.
Legend (blackberry citrus) – Buffalo Wild Wings exclusive. It is a strange thing to find yourself in a Buffalo Wild Wings for the first time, and the reason you are there is for Mtn Dew, something which you do not actually enjoy. It causes you to take stock of your life as you stare into the inky depths of this drink....
posted by TrishaU at 3:01 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
I like cola. I like candy. I have no love for the blech that is Mountain Dew. Geraldine and her husband and friends took a bullet for me, so that is one item off my "Who wants to rot their teeth? For science?" list.
Legend (blackberry citrus) – Buffalo Wild Wings exclusive. It is a strange thing to find yourself in a Buffalo Wild Wings for the first time, and the reason you are there is for Mtn Dew, something which you do not actually enjoy. It causes you to take stock of your life as you stare into the inky depths of this drink....
posted by TrishaU at 3:01 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
Fashion is a way to express yourself, and is often used to convey subtle meanings and nuance as a reaction to your surroundings.
Where on earth did the writer get Lisa Simpson "I am the lizard queen!" earrings, a situation that was the result of Lisa drinking the druggy ride water at Duff Gardens??? And how pitch-perfect is that for the article's premise???? Brava, brava.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 3:14 AM on July 15, 2022 [22 favorites]
Where on earth did the writer get Lisa Simpson "I am the lizard queen!" earrings, a situation that was the result of Lisa drinking the druggy ride water at Duff Gardens??? And how pitch-perfect is that for the article's premise???? Brava, brava.
posted by Ten Cold Hot Dogs at 3:14 AM on July 15, 2022 [22 favorites]
My friend's husband really liked a certain flavor of Mtn Dew, and it became scarce in our area. We were on a weekend trip and stopped for gas, and lo! to his delight, the gas station had cases of it. I think he bought them out. I could not tell you what the flavor was if my life depended on it.
I had no idea it had so many location exclusive flavors, although as a Taco Bell devotee, I was aware of Baja Blast. Taco Bell's one fault is that it is a pepsi restaurant rather than coke. (Easy pitch there for you taco bell haters!)
I will admit that some of the reviews got a bit repetitive - how could they not, how are there (more than) 21 flavors of Mtn Dew? - but the funny parts of this are plentiful:
I had no idea it had so many location exclusive flavors, although as a Taco Bell devotee, I was aware of Baja Blast. Taco Bell's one fault is that it is a pepsi restaurant rather than coke. (Easy pitch there for you taco bell haters!)
I will admit that some of the reviews got a bit repetitive - how could they not, how are there (more than) 21 flavors of Mtn Dew? - but the funny parts of this are plentiful:
I’ve tried to find the logic in my actions, and as best I can tell, it’s this: sometimes, the world becomes a dark place, and you desperately need a distraction from all of it. Sometimes, you need to be reminded that your body is still yours, and that you can do with it what you want, no matter what anyone else says. Am I actually blaming my Mountain Dew escapades on the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade? No, of course not.posted by the primroses were over at 3:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
But like, those fuckers didn’t help. I’m not normally compelled to drink Mountain Dew Overdrive, which professes to have “a bold, charged citrus punch” flavor, and has a bear that looks like it’s an anti-vaxxer on the label. I can only assume Kavanaugh is somewhat responsible.
This flavor, inspired by, yes, hot Cheetos, is either the apex or the nadir of our society.
QFT
posted by chavenet at 3:44 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
QFT
posted by chavenet at 3:44 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
Based on the existence of hot cheetos mountain dew I convinced a coworker to try mixing kraft mac and cheese powder into a miller high life for science. He says results were worse than expected. We're still holding out hope for the queso flavored lacroix though.
posted by dudemanlives at 4:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [16 favorites]
posted by dudemanlives at 4:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [16 favorites]
the shaming of the dew
posted by are-coral-made at 4:27 AM on July 15, 2022 [27 favorites]
posted by are-coral-made at 4:27 AM on July 15, 2022 [27 favorites]
I'll take the crab juice.
posted by adept256 at 4:36 AM on July 15, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by adept256 at 4:36 AM on July 15, 2022 [10 favorites]
Sometimes, you need to be reminded that your body is still yours, and that you can do with it what you want, no matter what anyone else says. Am I actually blaming my Mountain Dew escapades on the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade? No, of course not.
Overall I'm a bit lukewarm on the whole "I tried all N varieties of product" genre, but I think that angle is what gave this particular work a whole lot of meaning and really elevated it above typical clickbait.
Also the line about that flavor being discontinued because it was found to cause crypto in rats is just perfect.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:37 AM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
Overall I'm a bit lukewarm on the whole "I tried all N varieties of product" genre, but I think that angle is what gave this particular work a whole lot of meaning and really elevated it above typical clickbait.
Also the line about that flavor being discontinued because it was found to cause crypto in rats is just perfect.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:37 AM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
Before the introduction of Red Bull, Mtn Dew was the most highly caffeinated stuff you could buy.
posted by SemiSalt at 4:38 AM on July 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by SemiSalt at 4:38 AM on July 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
After accidentally scratching my eyeball and becoming unable to comfortably read on my phone, I asked Google to read this article to me - it complied and somehow the mild expressionlessness of the generated voice made what was clever and funny into something sublime.
If you want to try the same.
The Everywhereist is new to me and great - thanks for this.
(I like Mountain Dew, and maybe there's really clever marketing happening here - for me it is the flavor of long historical coding or d&d binges - but I acknowledge the proliferation of flavors is at least unnecessary and at worst a secret incantation to call forth eldritch nightmares to scream forth from one of their several mouths and sing the song that ends the earth.)
posted by abulafa at 4:43 AM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
If you want to try the same.
The Everywhereist is new to me and great - thanks for this.
(I like Mountain Dew, and maybe there's really clever marketing happening here - for me it is the flavor of long historical coding or d&d binges - but I acknowledge the proliferation of flavors is at least unnecessary and at worst a secret incantation to call forth eldritch nightmares to scream forth from one of their several mouths and sing the song that ends the earth.)
posted by abulafa at 4:43 AM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
We only have one flavour of mountain dew in Australia. We do have 18 varieties of Tim Tam though. These here are Tim Tam Deluxe Dark Choc Raspberry Tart. They're ... fucking horrible, don't eat them, you won't like them, I'll take yours and put them in the bin ok? I mean the bin in the other room. Yes all of them.
posted by adept256 at 4:54 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by adept256 at 4:54 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Why on earth would a restaurant need their own exclusive Mountain (or Mtn) Dew flavor? If the food isn’t good enough to get people in there will Dark Berry Bash really do the trick?
posted by TedW at 4:57 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by TedW at 4:57 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
I drank a lot of 2L bottles of Mountain Dew accompanying slices of Oscar Meyer bologna and Wonder Bread simply crushed together into a fist-sized lump and gnawed on. It was the late 80s and I was writing software for a start-up and working 80 hour weeks for practically nothing. Albertsons was open 24h and this was a cheap source of caffeine and calories.
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:03 AM on July 15, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 5:03 AM on July 15, 2022 [11 favorites]
Confession time: I used to be a Mtn Dew addict. There was a wall of empty cans in my freshman dorm room. When people found an empty bottle in a vehicle, they knew I had been there. I hoarded REAL SUGAR Mtn Dew like some kind of dragon. I once drank 12 cans of Mtn Dew in 49 minutes just to see if I could do it in under an hour. I was seeing around corners and speaking in tongues between shivers and blasts of puke.
All that to say that this content is squarely in my bailiwick, so thanks, Literaryhero.
At some point in grad school I gave up soda entirely. I can't even remember the last time I had a Mtn Dew. It's probably been years.
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 5:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [15 favorites]
All that to say that this content is squarely in my bailiwick, so thanks, Literaryhero.
At some point in grad school I gave up soda entirely. I can't even remember the last time I had a Mtn Dew. It's probably been years.
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 5:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [15 favorites]
When I left, there was only one flavor of Mountain Dew, and it was my nectar throughout high school. Not for me, the chronologically first but infinitely inferior Mellow Yellow. If I needed to stay up late to study, only the Dew would do.
The longer I’m away, the more things pop up to show me that I’ve been gone too long, that returning to the states would be deeply uncomfortable, if not futile. Reading this list has only confirmed that there is no home there for me anymore.
What in gods name have you unleashed? Your flavorologists were so obsessed with whether they could Dew it, they never stopped to ask if they should.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:28 AM on July 15, 2022 [15 favorites]
The longer I’m away, the more things pop up to show me that I’ve been gone too long, that returning to the states would be deeply uncomfortable, if not futile. Reading this list has only confirmed that there is no home there for me anymore.
What in gods name have you unleashed? Your flavorologists were so obsessed with whether they could Dew it, they never stopped to ask if they should.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:28 AM on July 15, 2022 [15 favorites]
Baja Punch (tropical punch) – Discontinued. Have you ever thought to yourself, “I wish my teeth were softer”? Because I have a solution.Lovely.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:32 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
and to continue the awesomeness of the article, DO read the comments... Come on, you all are just making up names for flavors at this point.
posted by kokaku at 5:55 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kokaku at 5:55 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Reading this, I realize I have not had a Mt Dew in at least 30 years
It's Mtn, you cretin.
I didn't recognize her name, but for some reason, even though in real life I can meet someone twenty times before I remember them, I recognized the picture of her husband immediately as being a part of the write-up about their Bros' experience, which was also hilarious, although the MeFi reaction was somewhat more mixed.
posted by solotoro at 5:56 AM on July 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
It's Mtn, you cretin.
I didn't recognize her name, but for some reason, even though in real life I can meet someone twenty times before I remember them, I recognized the picture of her husband immediately as being a part of the write-up about their Bros' experience, which was also hilarious, although the MeFi reaction was somewhat more mixed.
posted by solotoro at 5:56 AM on July 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
Before the introduction of Red Bull, Mtn Dew was the most highly caffeinated stuff you could buy.
posted by SemiSalt at 7:38 AM on July 15 [+] [!]
My first taste of the stuff was when a guy in a camping group wanted to stop and get one at a gas station because he was suffering from caffeine withdrawal.
posted by Bee'sWing at 6:13 AM on July 15, 2022
posted by SemiSalt at 7:38 AM on July 15 [+] [!]
My first taste of the stuff was when a guy in a camping group wanted to stop and get one at a gas station because he was suffering from caffeine withdrawal.
posted by Bee'sWing at 6:13 AM on July 15, 2022
When I was 17, the original Dew is more or less all I drank except occasionally some water. The last time I had some - in my late 40s - it made me feel physically ill and that my teeth were all falling out at once. I'm both glad that I've moved on, and sad that I'm no longer young enough to abuse my body in such sugary, dangerously-hued ways.
posted by YoungStencil at 6:17 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by YoungStencil at 6:17 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Yes solotoro! I just came to confirm if this is the same person who ate at the nasty foam out of the chefs mouth restaurant..
posted by latkes at 6:20 AM on July 15, 2022
posted by latkes at 6:20 AM on July 15, 2022
Mtn Dew has a following so devoted it makes Catholicism seem like a casual hobby.
i am ded
posted by Kitteh at 6:28 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
i am ded
posted by Kitteh at 6:28 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
For the longest time, Mountain Dew in Canada was caffeine free. That changed a few years ago, but before then it was this weird offshoot version.
posted by thecjm at 6:38 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by thecjm at 6:38 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
If the food isn’t good enough to get people in there will Dark Berry Bash really do the trick?
Often when one has an option to eat at a, say, Applebee's, the other options within reasonable distance (or agreement with coworkers traveling together for instance) are not "better" food but simply alternative forms of comforting mediocrity (Chili's, Ruby Tuesday, Uno's, etc).
So having an "exclusive" brightly colored bit of marketing really can make the difference to pull in customers who are aware that their choices are - at best - irrelevant pauses on a slow journey into nothingness and an argument about splitting checks.
posted by abulafa at 6:44 AM on July 15, 2022 [10 favorites]
Often when one has an option to eat at a, say, Applebee's, the other options within reasonable distance (or agreement with coworkers traveling together for instance) are not "better" food but simply alternative forms of comforting mediocrity (Chili's, Ruby Tuesday, Uno's, etc).
So having an "exclusive" brightly colored bit of marketing really can make the difference to pull in customers who are aware that their choices are - at best - irrelevant pauses on a slow journey into nothingness and an argument about splitting checks.
posted by abulafa at 6:44 AM on July 15, 2022 [10 favorites]
I have a can of Mtn Dew Baja Blast Zero in the work fridge right now, waiting for the street tacos I’m making us for dinner.
The raspberry lemonade spark zero is solid, as was/is the Bojangles exclusive flavor Southern Shock (unfortunately, not zero, boo).
The Flamin Hot Mtn Dew is legitimately amazing and I am stressed that there is yet to be a zero version; I ration those babies because it’s just too much HFCS.
Full disclosure: I am a Pepsi person, because it is far superior to Coke. I don’t write the rules people.
My only vice is zero calorie soda, or a small soda with real sugar. I exercise, eat well, don’t stay out late, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t gamble, don’t carouse, wear my seatbelt, and even floss…but I drink the hell out of my delicious delicious cold drinks.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 6:52 AM on July 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
The raspberry lemonade spark zero is solid, as was/is the Bojangles exclusive flavor Southern Shock (unfortunately, not zero, boo).
The Flamin Hot Mtn Dew is legitimately amazing and I am stressed that there is yet to be a zero version; I ration those babies because it’s just too much HFCS.
Full disclosure: I am a Pepsi person, because it is far superior to Coke. I don’t write the rules people.
My only vice is zero calorie soda, or a small soda with real sugar. I exercise, eat well, don’t stay out late, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t gamble, don’t carouse, wear my seatbelt, and even floss…but I drink the hell out of my delicious delicious cold drinks.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 6:52 AM on July 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
For the longest time, Mountain Dew in Canada was caffeine free.This sounds like a throwaway line on, I don't know, Arrested Development or something.
My own favorite* versions of Mtn Dew are those packaged for "store-brand" sodas. One I remember fondly was called "Hillbilly Holler."
*to look at and contemplate, not actually drink
posted by Caxton1476 at 6:55 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'm still addicted to Dew, but I switched to Diet in 2002- forgoing diabetes for whatever Aspartame gives me. Sipping some right now. I think I'd like a caffeine-free version.
Pro tip- drinking it out of a graduated beaker can cause a nice crowd reaction.
I'm kind of narrow-minded with my choices, and haven't ever tried anything but the 'normal' and Code Red versions, both diet and regular (and I haven't seen Diet Code Red in years).
I don't pay attention to the other flavors, and was surprised/amused/alarmed at the cartoonish-ness of the labels.
I was in the Shaws this morning but they didn't have any weird flavors on the shelf today to look at. Usually they're crowding out what I want to buy.
It occurs to me that the flavor thing is probably not trying to do anything but sell flavors without having to come up with a marketing plan other than tying it to the name.
posted by MtDewd at 6:58 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Pro tip- drinking it out of a graduated beaker can cause a nice crowd reaction.
I'm kind of narrow-minded with my choices, and haven't ever tried anything but the 'normal' and Code Red versions, both diet and regular (and I haven't seen Diet Code Red in years).
I don't pay attention to the other flavors, and was surprised/amused/alarmed at the cartoonish-ness of the labels.
I was in the Shaws this morning but they didn't have any weird flavors on the shelf today to look at. Usually they're crowding out what I want to buy.
It occurs to me that the flavor thing is probably not trying to do anything but sell flavors without having to come up with a marketing plan other than tying it to the name.
posted by MtDewd at 6:58 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
For the longest time, Mountain Dew in Canada was caffeine free.
There used to be a regulation in Canada that only dark-coloured beverages could be caffeinated. That was changed in 2010.
posted by fimbulvetr at 7:00 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
There used to be a regulation in Canada that only dark-coloured beverages could be caffeinated. That was changed in 2010.
posted by fimbulvetr at 7:00 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
"Mtn" is totally how you abbreviate "mountain" on a road sign, but only if the word "mountain" comes after the name of the mountain (if the word comes before the name, it is a "mount", abbreviated "Mt".) E.g., "Cannon Mtn" vs "Mt Washington". "Mountain" in Mountain Dew isn't the name of a mountain though (it's not a mountain called Dew Mountain or Mount Dew), it's an adjective (what kind of dew is it? Mountain dew.) and thus should probably not be abbreviated at all.
Where I live there are no mountains to be directed to by road signs, but the road signs do abbreviate "Beach" as "Bch" - "Boynton Bch Blvd", "Palm Bch Gardens". I can't break myself of the habit of mentally expanding "Bch" to "Bitch" instead of "Beach" even though I've been living here and seeing the signs for ten years.
posted by Daily Alice at 7:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [15 favorites]
Where I live there are no mountains to be directed to by road signs, but the road signs do abbreviate "Beach" as "Bch" - "Boynton Bch Blvd", "Palm Bch Gardens". I can't break myself of the habit of mentally expanding "Bch" to "Bitch" instead of "Beach" even though I've been living here and seeing the signs for ten years.
posted by Daily Alice at 7:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [15 favorites]
My suggestible brain is now solely expanding that as "Mutton Dew", and I can't make it stop.
Note to Pepsi: this is not a flavor suggestion.
posted by SunSnork at 7:21 AM on July 15, 2022 [22 favorites]
Note to Pepsi: this is not a flavor suggestion.
posted by SunSnork at 7:21 AM on July 15, 2022 [22 favorites]
I exercise, eat well, don’t stay out late, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t gamble, don’t carouse, wear my seatbelt, and even floss…
If you get the sudden urge to crypto, see a doctor immediately.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 7:24 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
If you get the sudden urge to crypto, see a doctor immediately.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 7:24 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
No, that stuff is a technological pyramid scheme AND it’s ecologically unsound. It bad. I *did* illegally download music back in the day, though. Whilst consuming diet Mtn Dew and popcorn.
posted by sara is disenchanted at 7:36 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by sara is disenchanted at 7:36 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
I do love the darn stuff.
One day I was doing some chemistry experiments, and weighed out the amount of sugar in one 12oz can: 46 grams. That's almost 11 teaspoons. I was drinking about a liter a day, two-thirds of a cup of sugar, enough for a cake. Just imagining trying to down that much plain white sugar was enough to get me to cut back.
Whether I was just medicating my undiagnosed ADHD with as much caffeine as my body could handle is a fun thought exercise.
posted by SunSnork at 7:41 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
One day I was doing some chemistry experiments, and weighed out the amount of sugar in one 12oz can: 46 grams. That's almost 11 teaspoons. I was drinking about a liter a day, two-thirds of a cup of sugar, enough for a cake. Just imagining trying to down that much plain white sugar was enough to get me to cut back.
Whether I was just medicating my undiagnosed ADHD with as much caffeine as my body could handle is a fun thought exercise.
posted by SunSnork at 7:41 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Before the introduction of Red Bull, Mtn Dew was the most highly caffeinated stuff you could buy.
posted by SemiSalt at 7:38 AM on July 15
My Jolt Cola habit of the 1990s wants to correct this to 'regularly buy'.
Cumberland Farms has an app that inexplicably gives us free energy drinks periodically. We are not energy drink people. Have tried a few of the more unusual Mtn flavors this way. The raspberry lemonade is, indeed, surprisingly 'not bad' but it's largely more like...colors one can drink, instead of flavors.
posted by cobaltnine at 7:43 AM on July 15, 2022 [18 favorites]
posted by SemiSalt at 7:38 AM on July 15
My Jolt Cola habit of the 1990s wants to correct this to 'regularly buy'.
Cumberland Farms has an app that inexplicably gives us free energy drinks periodically. We are not energy drink people. Have tried a few of the more unusual Mtn flavors this way. The raspberry lemonade is, indeed, surprisingly 'not bad' but it's largely more like...colors one can drink, instead of flavors.
posted by cobaltnine at 7:43 AM on July 15, 2022 [18 favorites]
but it's largely more like...colors one can drink, instead of flavors
Don't mind me, I'll be over here thinking, "holy shit, this poster is right...."
posted by Kitteh at 7:58 AM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Don't mind me, I'll be over here thinking, "holy shit, this poster is right...."
posted by Kitteh at 7:58 AM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I remember getting off a 14 hour flight from japan and sitting in an airport for an 8 hour layover... in my delirium I got a bottle of Dew out of a vending machine. The bottle was an extra neon colour and added to the florescent lights it made the Dew look like something probably radioactive. I immediately decided it wasn't something a human should drink, but not wanting to waste my money I gave it to my travel companion. She enjoyed it thoroughly.
posted by cirhosis at 8:11 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by cirhosis at 8:11 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'm not sure if I'm more impressed that she tried 21 flavors of Mtn Dew (retail price $23.75) or that she apparently has a Sub-Zero fridge (retail price $9,000-$13000).
Either way, the article was great and every line worth using to purchase a fancy fridge.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:52 AM on July 15, 2022
Either way, the article was great and every line worth using to purchase a fancy fridge.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:52 AM on July 15, 2022
I used to drink oh-so-much soda, with Mountain Dew one of my favorites. I gave up soda a while back now...five, maybe seven years. There were a few alternate flavors of Mountain Dew at that time--primarily Code Red, but I think Baja Blast kept showing up at Taco Bell, and I remember being curious to try them.
These days I crave soda in a vague, distant way, with occasional intense curiosity for new flavors but this...this just does not appeal at all.
(And while I would occasionally drink Mello Yello if that was what was available, my preferred alternatives were the smaller ones: Sundrop or, my favorite, the uncomfortably racist Kickapoo Joy Juice--I'd thought it was eventually rebranded as just Kick, but that seems to have been RC's entry into the market, and Kickapoo Joy Juice is still out there.
posted by Four Ds at 8:57 AM on July 15, 2022
These days I crave soda in a vague, distant way, with occasional intense curiosity for new flavors but this...this just does not appeal at all.
(And while I would occasionally drink Mello Yello if that was what was available, my preferred alternatives were the smaller ones: Sundrop or, my favorite, the uncomfortably racist Kickapoo Joy Juice--I'd thought it was eventually rebranded as just Kick, but that seems to have been RC's entry into the market, and Kickapoo Joy Juice is still out there.
posted by Four Ds at 8:57 AM on July 15, 2022
I am going to convince Mtn Dew to sell NFTs of these flavors. This is level of degradation seems sufficient to usher in the End of Days.
I, like a 21st century Judas Iscariot, will engage in this abomination to help effectuate the redemption of humanity.
posted by vorpal bunny at 9:02 AM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
I, like a 21st century Judas Iscariot, will engage in this abomination to help effectuate the redemption of humanity.
posted by vorpal bunny at 9:02 AM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
And back through the glen, I rode again
And my heart with grief was sore
For I parted then with valiant men
Whom I never shall see n'more
But to and fro in my dreams I go
And I kneel and pray for you
For slavery fled, O glorious dead
When you fell in the foggy Dew
posted by Bee'sWing at 9:13 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
And my heart with grief was sore
For I parted then with valiant men
Whom I never shall see n'more
But to and fro in my dreams I go
And I kneel and pray for you
For slavery fled, O glorious dead
When you fell in the foggy Dew
posted by Bee'sWing at 9:13 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
And I saw when the Lamb twisted open one of the caps, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and do the dew.
And when he had opened the second bottle, I heard the second beast say, Come and do the dew.
And when he had opened the third bottle, I heard the third beast say, Come and do the dew.
And when he had opened the fourth bottle, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and do the dew.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Death followed with him.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:24 AM on July 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
And when he had opened the second bottle, I heard the second beast say, Come and do the dew.
And when he had opened the third bottle, I heard the third beast say, Come and do the dew.
And when he had opened the fourth bottle, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and do the dew.
And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Death followed with him.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 9:24 AM on July 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
If you're looking for citrus-flavored soda in the US, aside from Lemon-Lime sodas you're pretty much limited to flavors otherwise reserved for cough syrups, with the exception of Mtn Dew and the rarer Mello Yello or Squirt (grapefruit soda is best soda). Yes there are others around but they're harder to find, regional or in specialty stores.
Mtn Dew (original flavor at least) is basically the best non-Lemon-Lime citrus soda that's easy to find in any grocery or convenience store.
posted by tclark at 9:32 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
Mtn Dew (original flavor at least) is basically the best non-Lemon-Lime citrus soda that's easy to find in any grocery or convenience store.
posted by tclark at 9:32 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
Kaffee: Did you order the Code Red?
Col. Jessup: You're God damn right I did!
posted by kirkaracha at 9:33 AM on July 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
Col. Jessup: You're God damn right I did!
posted by kirkaracha at 9:33 AM on July 15, 2022 [14 favorites]
Let's not forget Fresca.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:50 AM on July 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:50 AM on July 15, 2022 [8 favorites]
Drinking Mountain Dew--like buying a Sega Genesis or staying up late to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force--is one of those paths in life which I didn't go down and I don't regret missing out on. I'd probably be a much different person if I had.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 9:57 AM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 9:57 AM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
Drinking Mountain Dew--like buying a Sega Genesis
Hah hah! Yeah, that's --
or staying up late to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force
woah woah woah woah woah
posted by curious nu at 10:06 AM on July 15, 2022 [18 favorites]
Hah hah! Yeah, that's --
or staying up late to watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force
woah woah woah woah woah
posted by curious nu at 10:06 AM on July 15, 2022 [18 favorites]
To this day I can’t see Mountain Dew without things of one of my housemates in college. Not only did he drink Mountain Dew but saved every 2 liter bottle. Due to messiness he lived in the garage and he lined the walls with these bottles, there was 100+ at the end of the year. He also played video games so much that he nearly dropped out of college.
Now, nearly 20 year later, he rents a small house that he choose due to its proximity to local walking paths. He’s mostly vegan. He donates more money then anyone I know to civil rights causes. He sends me texts that are nothing but quiet video of birds. He now says the idea of drinking Mountain Dew makes him feel a little sick. He still plays hella video games so I don’t think he’s a pod person.
I’m going to send him this link to get back the “noooooo, omg, how did I drink that stuff?!?” text today. Thanks for posting!
posted by lepus at 10:17 AM on July 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
Now, nearly 20 year later, he rents a small house that he choose due to its proximity to local walking paths. He’s mostly vegan. He donates more money then anyone I know to civil rights causes. He sends me texts that are nothing but quiet video of birds. He now says the idea of drinking Mountain Dew makes him feel a little sick. He still plays hella video games so I don’t think he’s a pod person.
I’m going to send him this link to get back the “noooooo, omg, how did I drink that stuff?!?” text today. Thanks for posting!
posted by lepus at 10:17 AM on July 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
colors one can drink, instead of flavors.
Growing up in Canada but right next door to Michigan meant I had access to Faygo Redpop. I don't remember what it tasted like, but I do remember that it was...very red.
And I saw when the Lamb twisted open one of the caps, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and do the dew.
Hm. Again, being adjacent to Michigan meant I was raised to believe in a different type of soda-based end times scenario.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:20 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Growing up in Canada but right next door to Michigan meant I had access to Faygo Redpop. I don't remember what it tasted like, but I do remember that it was...very red.
And I saw when the Lamb twisted open one of the caps, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and do the dew.
Hm. Again, being adjacent to Michigan meant I was raised to believe in a different type of soda-based end times scenario.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:20 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Mandolin Conspiracy, years ago I attended an ICP concert on a lark. I came home from that show totally drenched in Faygo, yet I still had no idea what it tasted like, so I had to buy some the last time I was in Detroit. It was... okay.
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 10:22 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by TheKaijuCommuter at 10:22 AM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Please take it from me, a Chef. "Mtn" is short for "Mutton".
posted by Chef Flamboyardee at 10:26 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Chef Flamboyardee at 10:26 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I admit it, I do the Dew. It tastes good to me (including the few weird flavors I tried, the pink lemonade one in particular is in the house right now) and as a person who cannot stand coffee taste, Mountain Dew is pretty caffeinated on days when I am passing out at work.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:27 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:27 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I've had to cut flavoured sugar water out of my diet (replaced with flavoured artificial sweetener water - what could possibly go wrong) but I really liked Mountain Dew and wish I could partake of the rainbow of flavours now available. Alas it is unusual to find even the regular diet version on the shelf here; I don't think I've ever seen zero sugar versions of the other flavours.
For the longest time, Mountain Dew in Canada was caffeine free. That changed a few years ago, but before then it was this weird offshoot version. Changed in 2012. I checked because I was going to make the same comment with the word recently rather than a few years ago and I wanted to make sure I wasn't using recently to refer to an event that happened after some site members were born. I think I'm good for a while yet.
But, because Canada is swamped with American media, it used to be hilarious to see teenagers talking about the caffeine buzz they were getting off of 0% caffeine Dew. I used to wonder if any made the transition to coffee and felt they'd be able to handle the buzz because of their history drinking Dew and then had their nervous system blown.
posted by Mitheral at 10:50 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
For the longest time, Mountain Dew in Canada was caffeine free. That changed a few years ago, but before then it was this weird offshoot version. Changed in 2012. I checked because I was going to make the same comment with the word recently rather than a few years ago and I wanted to make sure I wasn't using recently to refer to an event that happened after some site members were born. I think I'm good for a while yet.
But, because Canada is swamped with American media, it used to be hilarious to see teenagers talking about the caffeine buzz they were getting off of 0% caffeine Dew. I used to wonder if any made the transition to coffee and felt they'd be able to handle the buzz because of their history drinking Dew and then had their nervous system blown.
posted by Mitheral at 10:50 AM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
Caffeine-wise, I only drank tea in high school. During my first year of college in the late 1980s, Mountain Dew became my go-to source for caffeine. I remember getting really wired from it, but maybe part of that was also being eighteen. By sophomore year I was gulping down way too much atrocious dining hall coffee for my own good, so I guess the Dew served as my bridge to the too-much-coffee jitters.
posted by mollweide at 11:02 AM on July 15, 2022
posted by mollweide at 11:02 AM on July 15, 2022
Mandolin Conspiracy, years ago I attended an ICP concert on a lark. I came home from that show totally drenched in Faygo, yet I still had no idea what it tasted like, so I had to buy some the last time I was in Detroit. It was... okay
So the convenience store a few blocks over sells Faygo both in 1L and the really big personal size whose volume I do not know but strikes me as excessive for individual consumption and yet here we are.
Two very stoned weekends ago, I moseyed in there to get some munchies and thought, "What a larf! I shall purchase this Arctic Sun Faygo drink because ha ha ICP weird funny etc"
Y'all. Y'all. It was really fucking good. It was grapefruit-cherry flavour and I UNDERSTAND ICP NOW. I confess I have bought at least two other flavours since that I have enjoyed but which Shepherd, upon sampling them, remarked, "This is sweeter than just straight sugar. Oh my god."
posted by Kitteh at 11:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
So the convenience store a few blocks over sells Faygo both in 1L and the really big personal size whose volume I do not know but strikes me as excessive for individual consumption and yet here we are.
Two very stoned weekends ago, I moseyed in there to get some munchies and thought, "What a larf! I shall purchase this Arctic Sun Faygo drink because ha ha ICP weird funny etc"
Y'all. Y'all. It was really fucking good. It was grapefruit-cherry flavour and I UNDERSTAND ICP NOW. I confess I have bought at least two other flavours since that I have enjoyed but which Shepherd, upon sampling them, remarked, "This is sweeter than just straight sugar. Oh my god."
posted by Kitteh at 11:16 AM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
Sometimes, you need to be reminded that your body is still yours, and that you can do with it what you want, no matter what anyone else says.
Dew what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
posted by The Bellman at 11:28 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
Dew what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
posted by The Bellman at 11:28 AM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
The comic genius of this is taking the standard “I consumed all [members of category X] in [Product Line Y]” clickbait format & turning it into a diary-style work of horror worthy of Dostoevsky or Lovecraft.
posted by jonp72 at 11:32 AM on July 15, 2022
posted by jonp72 at 11:32 AM on July 15, 2022
This makes me want Mountain Dew neither more nor less than I did before reading it
Same here. I only drink Mountain Dew when I need caffeine and coffee is unavailable/impractical for some reason - that ends up being on average maybe once a year at most. The taste is...ok, but I definitely don't like the taste of Red Bull so it's the lesser of two evils.
Let's not forget Fresca.
On the contrary, I've done my level best TO forget it!
-----
On a barely-related note, whenever someone sneezes in a way that suggests the word "yahoo" I'll enthusiastically exclaim "Mountain Dew!" with the appropriate hillbilly drawl. To the amusement of nobody but myself.
Edit: video for the broken link in the above article
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on July 15, 2022
Same here. I only drink Mountain Dew when I need caffeine and coffee is unavailable/impractical for some reason - that ends up being on average maybe once a year at most. The taste is...ok, but I definitely don't like the taste of Red Bull so it's the lesser of two evils.
Let's not forget Fresca.
On the contrary, I've done my level best TO forget it!
-----
On a barely-related note, whenever someone sneezes in a way that suggests the word "yahoo" I'll enthusiastically exclaim "Mountain Dew!" with the appropriate hillbilly drawl. To the amusement of nobody but myself.
Edit: video for the broken link in the above article
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:36 AM on July 15, 2022
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posted by lalochezia at 11:39 AM on July 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
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posted by lalochezia at 11:39 AM on July 15, 2022 [12 favorites]
It was such a nice surprise to see that this wasn't a video featuring a thirty-something man-child filling up 110% of the air in the room with nonstop emotive toddler shrieking.
posted by Western Infidels at 11:46 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Western Infidels at 11:46 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
mandolin conspiracy: Growing up in the Detroit area, Faygo was what we had. (It was also a lot cheaper than Coke/Pepsi.) Redpop is strawberry, and yes it's very very red.
Faygo, in general, is weirdly not bad. The cola is a little sub-par, but the flavors are pretty much just what they say they are. The cream soda is pretty good, the Ohana non-carbonated series has flavors that are nicely refreshing, and the others... aren't anything more than the label says. There's even Rock & Rye, a prohibition-era flavor meant to taste like the whisky drink.
posted by c0nsumer at 11:53 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
Faygo, in general, is weirdly not bad. The cola is a little sub-par, but the flavors are pretty much just what they say they are. The cream soda is pretty good, the Ohana non-carbonated series has flavors that are nicely refreshing, and the others... aren't anything more than the label says. There's even Rock & Rye, a prohibition-era flavor meant to taste like the whisky drink.
posted by c0nsumer at 11:53 AM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
As someone who is always tempted by novelty flavors but who eschews caffeine, I can only gaze with sadness at Mountain Dew's panoply of variations. At least I'll always have Gatorade Limón Pepino.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:59 AM on July 15, 2022
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:59 AM on July 15, 2022
I've always been a Mtn Dew drinker, but for health reasons now only drink the Zero versions, which are always the least supplied at stores so I get to choose between Mtn Dew Zero and Mello Yello Zero (which, as a heretic, I must admit I cannot tell the difference).
I cannot drink Diet Mtn Dew, it tastes 'chemically' to me. However, I used to hoard Diet Mtn Dew Code Zero, which is an even rarer species, because that's the bomb.
If I do feel like tempting the diabetes gods, Mtn Dew Livewire, which is apparently only available in bottle form at my favorite gas station and never in a diet/zero formula, is my go-to.
Speaking of taste: I am also one of those people where a lot of artificial "tropical" flavors taste like sweat, so I generally avoid anything of that genre.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:02 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
I cannot drink Diet Mtn Dew, it tastes 'chemically' to me. However, I used to hoard Diet Mtn Dew Code Zero, which is an even rarer species, because that's the bomb.
If I do feel like tempting the diabetes gods, Mtn Dew Livewire, which is apparently only available in bottle form at my favorite gas station and never in a diet/zero formula, is my go-to.
Speaking of taste: I am also one of those people where a lot of artificial "tropical" flavors taste like sweat, so I generally avoid anything of that genre.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:02 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Add me to the list of people who used to drink Mtn Dew, but I gave it up many years ago when I stopped regularly drinking soda, during the metabolism change at the end of my 20s. I'll still have a soda every now and then as a treat, and if it's a green one, it's probably a Grapefruit Jarritos
Nowadays when I hear "mountain dew" I'm probably thinking of The Rare Auld Mountain Dew, which is not a song about the soft drink.
posted by surlyben at 12:06 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Nowadays when I hear "mountain dew" I'm probably thinking of The Rare Auld Mountain Dew, which is not a song about the soft drink.
posted by surlyben at 12:06 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have always hated Mtn. Dew. I mean, since the beginning of time ( I AM a timeless evil). Nevertheless there is a period in my life (mercifully short) that I drank Dew every. damned. day. I was in the Army, going to school for biomedical repair tech. Our first class was before everything else, no food, no exercise, straight to class. luckily for me there were two vending machines outside of our class, one candy bars, one pop. Somehow, the only caffeinated offering was Dew, so every morning, as I was going to class I would buy a bottle of Dew, and a snickers bar. Honestly, it's the only way I made it to breakfast. I credit Dew with making me who I am today, someone in a completely different career field who never ever drinks it.
posted by evilDoug at 12:16 PM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by evilDoug at 12:16 PM on July 15, 2022 [9 favorites]
I grew up in sheep country, even sheared more than a few, and have never needed an abbreviation for mutton. However, judging from those logos, Mtn Dew is a wild company and should add Mountain Dew Mutton flavor. Much cooler than those squares at Dr Pepper who laughed at my jalapeno Dr Pepper called Dr Pepper Pepper.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:22 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:22 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Redpop is strawberry, and yes it's very very red.
Ah yes! It's coming back now. I think I have a vague memory of expecting a flavour other than strawberry when I first had it.
Nowadays when I hear "mountain dew" I'm probably thinking of The Rare Auld Mountain Dew , which is not a song about the soft drink.
Heh. And an ocean away, similarly not about soft drinks:
They call it that good old mountain dew
And them that refuse it are few
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:27 PM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
Ah yes! It's coming back now. I think I have a vague memory of expecting a flavour other than strawberry when I first had it.
Nowadays when I hear "mountain dew" I'm probably thinking of The Rare Auld Mountain Dew , which is not a song about the soft drink.
Heh. And an ocean away, similarly not about soft drinks:
They call it that good old mountain dew
And them that refuse it are few
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:27 PM on July 15, 2022 [5 favorites]
This was fantastic. She truly died for us.
I am on record here as someone who loves soda, and I have a real aversion to Mountain Dew - it’s just too sweet, too much caffeine, too much muchness. I should have come out of that article wanting to try at least one of those, and I didn’t - I have no idea why, but somehow mentally that stuff isn’t soda to me. It’s like carbonated bug juice.
posted by Mchelly at 12:34 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I am on record here as someone who loves soda, and I have a real aversion to Mountain Dew - it’s just too sweet, too much caffeine, too much muchness. I should have come out of that article wanting to try at least one of those, and I didn’t - I have no idea why, but somehow mentally that stuff isn’t soda to me. It’s like carbonated bug juice.
posted by Mchelly at 12:34 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I think the funny thing here is that Diet Mountain Dew is perhaps the most natural of diet drinks, wearing its roots on its ingredient list of carbonated water, orange juice, citric acid and natural flavors. At the same time the sugary concoctions innovate on any number of bizarre and unnatural flavors, the Diet version is just essentially caffeinated, watered-down fizzy orange juice, perfect for the high-energy breakfast crowd. So much so that my wife mixes it with actual orange juice and calls it a "Dew-mosa". It's a strange world.
posted by eschatfische at 1:12 PM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by eschatfische at 1:12 PM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
Before the introduction of Red Bull, Mtn Dew was the most highly caffeinated stuff you could buy.
How soon we have forgotten Jolt!
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:30 PM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
How soon we have forgotten Jolt!
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:30 PM on July 15, 2022 [7 favorites]
I have certain fond associations with Mountain Dew; I first encountered it when it was still a regional oddity, at a lake picnic while visiting some of my father's family. We liked it well enough to buy it when we ran across it again, and had somewhat of a running Monster Dew joke with friends of the family. Not really to my taste as an adult, except for Diet Code Red when was still available, but the name still reminds me of good times rather than dudebros.
posted by tavella at 1:35 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by tavella at 1:35 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Mtn Dew has a following so devoted it makes Catholicism seem like a casual hobby.
Not often do I actually laugh out loud, but this one got me.
posted by tommasz at 1:42 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Not often do I actually laugh out loud, but this one got me.
posted by tommasz at 1:42 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Before the introduction of Red Bull, Mtn Dew was the most highly caffeinated stuff you could buy.
Back in the day (like when Mountain Dew still contained polypropylene glycol) I saw a chart that had Diet Mr. Pibb as having more caffeine than Dew. Looks like it's much lower now.
BTW- I like to mix Diet Mtn Dew with a little cheap single-malt scotch. Not sure what a bartender would call it.
Edit- I just looked into it and found this: Mountain Dew was Invented as Whiskey Mix
posted by MtDewd at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
Back in the day (like when Mountain Dew still contained polypropylene glycol) I saw a chart that had Diet Mr. Pibb as having more caffeine than Dew. Looks like it's much lower now.
BTW- I like to mix Diet Mtn Dew with a little cheap single-malt scotch. Not sure what a bartender would call it.
Edit- I just looked into it and found this: Mountain Dew was Invented as Whiskey Mix
posted by MtDewd at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
As she often does, Geraldine has gotten a lot of hate for this article, a few examples of which she's posted on Twitter. For some reason I can't stop thinking about the person who was mad that she wrote that Baja Blast and Windex are similar in color. The commenter insisted that Windex is blue and Baja Blast is green! Fascinating
posted by lampoil at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2022
posted by lampoil at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2022
(At this point, four Mtn Dews in, my notebook simply reads, “I am so sad”)
It's like she's speedrunning my law school experience.
When I was a teen, I was playing a TTRPG -- on the nose but true -- and drank so much Dew that by the time I went to the bathroom, I found out that the kidneys would stop processing the artificial color after a while. Bright as day.
I still drink Diet Mountain Dew. Coffee's better, but here's the thing: it is hot and I am always tired, so tired.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
It's like she's speedrunning my law school experience.
When I was a teen, I was playing a TTRPG -- on the nose but true -- and drank so much Dew that by the time I went to the bathroom, I found out that the kidneys would stop processing the artificial color after a while. Bright as day.
I still drink Diet Mountain Dew. Coffee's better, but here's the thing: it is hot and I am always tired, so tired.
posted by Countess Elena at 1:56 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
but the road signs do abbreviate "Beach" as "Bch"
I lived in California 5 years before I realized that “cyn” was canyon. I remember being puzzled by it for so long.
posted by sjswitzer at 1:58 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I lived in California 5 years before I realized that “cyn” was canyon. I remember being puzzled by it for so long.
posted by sjswitzer at 1:58 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
(Only came up on occasional road trips to SoCal or I’d probably figured it out sooner. I hope.)
posted by sjswitzer at 2:03 PM on July 15, 2022
posted by sjswitzer at 2:03 PM on July 15, 2022
I cannot drink Diet Mtn Dew, it tastes 'chemically' to me.
I felt less bad about drinking it because its oddly chlorinated taste--like sweetened public pool water--came off as somewhat medicinal.
WRT the FPP: I dunno, maybe I just remember this sort of thing as being a sort of fallback content template for blogs in the aughts--let's try this dubious food product and act as it if's somehow a much more horrible experience than it could possibly be (complete with mugging for the camera)--but I was underwhelmed, although some of the lines were clever (the one about Catholicism, for example). She's probably already planning the Oreos post next.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:15 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
I felt less bad about drinking it because its oddly chlorinated taste--like sweetened public pool water--came off as somewhat medicinal.
WRT the FPP: I dunno, maybe I just remember this sort of thing as being a sort of fallback content template for blogs in the aughts--let's try this dubious food product and act as it if's somehow a much more horrible experience than it could possibly be (complete with mugging for the camera)--but I was underwhelmed, although some of the lines were clever (the one about Catholicism, for example). She's probably already planning the Oreos post next.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:15 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
Prepping for colonoscopies, I would drink Gatorade. I never even considered the possibility of drinking Mountain Dew.
posted by acrasis at 3:04 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by acrasis at 3:04 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm in the UK, let me say two words on the high caffeine front.
Club Mate.
First time I had it was driving two friends on tour to Germany. Got to a cafe where we were killing time, reading, catching up on email and similar. I drink quite quickly, it was hot, and this magical drink treated like biscuits. Refreshing biscuits.
Only found out it was like Red Bull halfway through bottle five. Lovely, refreshing, turbo biscuits.
posted by MattWPBS at 4:12 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Club Mate.
First time I had it was driving two friends on tour to Germany. Got to a cafe where we were killing time, reading, catching up on email and similar. I drink quite quickly, it was hot, and this magical drink treated like biscuits. Refreshing biscuits.
Only found out it was like Red Bull halfway through bottle five. Lovely, refreshing, turbo biscuits.
posted by MattWPBS at 4:12 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Before the introduction of Red Bull, Mtn Dew was the most highly caffeinated stuff you could buy.
I'm pretty sure Jolt Cola existed before Red Bull appeared, although it seems to have all but died out today. But for a minute, Jolt was the extra-caffeinated beverage of choice for Staying Up Much Too Late, be it for a LAN party or just wandering around the empty streets of West Hartford, Conn. at 3AM. I can't really even tell you what it tasted like. Like bad decisions, probably.
So much so that my wife mixes [Mountain Dew] with actual orange juice and calls it a "Dew-mosa".
Soda + juice combination beverages are great, and I will die on that hill. Even better if there's booze in them. But, like, [soda flavored like some fruit] + [actual juice of that fruit] (with optional alcohol) almost always yields something reasonably drinkable, often better than either one alone. Particularly if the juice is a potent flavor on its own (e.g. grapefruit juice + Fresca).
For reasons I don't really understand, when I was a kid the only place to get Mountain Dew on tap (as opposed to in cans/bottles) was at Pizza Hut. I guess because Pizza Hut was owned by the same corporate parent for a while? And naturally because it was a weird thing, as a kid I always wanted it, and occasionally my parents relented and let me have a glass of it (if it wasn't too late at night, was usually the concern). So my earliest memories of Mountain Dew are of drinking it in those odd red translucent plastic cups that used to be standard at Pizza Hut, often to soothe a burned tongue that I'd just cauterized by trying to eat the individual size pizza (always served at roughly the temperature of the surface of the sun) too quickly.
posted by Kadin2048 at 4:22 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm pretty sure Jolt Cola existed before Red Bull appeared, although it seems to have all but died out today. But for a minute, Jolt was the extra-caffeinated beverage of choice for Staying Up Much Too Late, be it for a LAN party or just wandering around the empty streets of West Hartford, Conn. at 3AM. I can't really even tell you what it tasted like. Like bad decisions, probably.
So much so that my wife mixes [Mountain Dew] with actual orange juice and calls it a "Dew-mosa".
Soda + juice combination beverages are great, and I will die on that hill. Even better if there's booze in them. But, like, [soda flavored like some fruit] + [actual juice of that fruit] (with optional alcohol) almost always yields something reasonably drinkable, often better than either one alone. Particularly if the juice is a potent flavor on its own (e.g. grapefruit juice + Fresca).
For reasons I don't really understand, when I was a kid the only place to get Mountain Dew on tap (as opposed to in cans/bottles) was at Pizza Hut. I guess because Pizza Hut was owned by the same corporate parent for a while? And naturally because it was a weird thing, as a kid I always wanted it, and occasionally my parents relented and let me have a glass of it (if it wasn't too late at night, was usually the concern). So my earliest memories of Mountain Dew are of drinking it in those odd red translucent plastic cups that used to be standard at Pizza Hut, often to soothe a burned tongue that I'd just cauterized by trying to eat the individual size pizza (always served at roughly the temperature of the surface of the sun) too quickly.
posted by Kadin2048 at 4:22 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
My earliest memory is on a camping trip out west in '64 or '65.
Ya-hoo!
posted by MtDewd at 4:40 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Ya-hoo!
posted by MtDewd at 4:40 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
Bottled Baja Blast doesn't hold a candle to the fountain stuff at Taco Bell.
posted by augustimagination at 4:45 PM on July 15, 2022
posted by augustimagination at 4:45 PM on July 15, 2022
Jolt X2 was where it was at.
I used to live near an independent liquor and convenience store that always had that in stock, but it was only ever in refrigerated six packs, never singles or bottles in the cold case, which in hindsight may have been a vendor/market thing where Pepsi and Coca Cola provided their fridges and stocked them under contract but the store wasn't allowed to put other soft drinks in those cases.
I'm also in the camp that I can't believe I used to drink entire two liter bottles of Mtn Dew, and sometimes more than one. And not because of the caffeine but because the insane amount of sugar.
In high school we'd carry around 2 liter bottles in our oversized raver pockets or backpacks and just chug from them all day. Later in college age ranges and I was doing a lot of late night or overnight community radio things it was standard operating procedure to go pick up several 2 liter bottles to make it through the night and often well into the next day.
And regular Red Bull doesn't even have that much caffeine in it compared to strong coffee. It's slightly less per fluid ounce than regular Jolt, Jolt being about 10mg and Red Bull being about 9.5. What Red Bull does have is the extra punch of B6 vitamins and taurine, which definitely makes it feel speedier or higher energy.
The last time I was working in a commercial kitchen I got way too into the caffeinated lemon lime Mio water enhancer, which I'd mix up way too strong in big mason jars or by the pitcher with a blend of about 70% plain soda water and 30% Sprite with tons of ice. It was like Mtn Dew on crack with way less sugar and the added kick of B6+B12 vitamins. I'd often even double stack this with an Emergen-C or other powdered drink mix with electrolytes to stay high energy and hydrated.
Or if I was feeling extra laggy I'd do most or all of the above but mix it with the uncarbonated Rockstar lemonade "recovery" line of energy drinks which... hoooo boy. *teeth start vibrating*.
The resulting blend was so brightly colored that it looked like Simpson's style nuclear waste and was drinking the dye from a fluorescent marker soaked in water. It got comments from people all the time like "Just what in the HELL are you drinking over there?" because it looked (and was) so unnatural. It probably didn't help I was often drinking it out of one of those plastic sports drink shaker tumblers with matching colors.
Speaking of which I also once made the horrible mistake of trying some of that Mio squirted directly into chilled neat vodka in an attempt to just save some steps. Even for me it was way too much.
They also now make Crystal Light powder sachets and other similar water enhancers with plenty of caffeine in them.
All this being said I'm glad I don't seem to have an actual caffeine addiction in that I don't get headaches or other symptoms without it, which is good because I can easily slam three large french presses in a day. I don't do that every day and it's not uncommon for me to go several days without any caffeine at all but I definitely like the buzz.
I'm also reminded of the electronic music festival I was volunteering for over ten years ago, and at one point they were sponsored by Red Bull *and* some vodka brand I don't remember.. maybe Truly? They had a lounge and bar set up for volunteers, staff and artists where that was it... that was the whole bar menu. You could have vodka, or a variety of kinds of Red Bull, or both.
On one hand, man you guys are just asking for trouble. On the other hand I was all about it and felt seen. If you were staff, artist or artist you could basically grab as much Red Bull as you could carry away. They were also offering bottles of take-away vodka packaged in reusable aluminum flasks like an MSR fuel or water bottle in about a 375 ml size and 1 liter size. People on staff would swing through and fill up their backpacks and head out to work their shifts and then go dancing.
And at the closing staff and artist party there were cases and cases of the stuff left over and a completely open bar, and thanks to the refined and hardened party skills of everyone involved it surprisingly wasn't a complete shit show.
And I thizzed my damn fool face off that week.
posted by loquacious at 5:07 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
I used to live near an independent liquor and convenience store that always had that in stock, but it was only ever in refrigerated six packs, never singles or bottles in the cold case, which in hindsight may have been a vendor/market thing where Pepsi and Coca Cola provided their fridges and stocked them under contract but the store wasn't allowed to put other soft drinks in those cases.
I'm also in the camp that I can't believe I used to drink entire two liter bottles of Mtn Dew, and sometimes more than one. And not because of the caffeine but because the insane amount of sugar.
In high school we'd carry around 2 liter bottles in our oversized raver pockets or backpacks and just chug from them all day. Later in college age ranges and I was doing a lot of late night or overnight community radio things it was standard operating procedure to go pick up several 2 liter bottles to make it through the night and often well into the next day.
And regular Red Bull doesn't even have that much caffeine in it compared to strong coffee. It's slightly less per fluid ounce than regular Jolt, Jolt being about 10mg and Red Bull being about 9.5. What Red Bull does have is the extra punch of B6 vitamins and taurine, which definitely makes it feel speedier or higher energy.
The last time I was working in a commercial kitchen I got way too into the caffeinated lemon lime Mio water enhancer, which I'd mix up way too strong in big mason jars or by the pitcher with a blend of about 70% plain soda water and 30% Sprite with tons of ice. It was like Mtn Dew on crack with way less sugar and the added kick of B6+B12 vitamins. I'd often even double stack this with an Emergen-C or other powdered drink mix with electrolytes to stay high energy and hydrated.
Or if I was feeling extra laggy I'd do most or all of the above but mix it with the uncarbonated Rockstar lemonade "recovery" line of energy drinks which... hoooo boy. *teeth start vibrating*.
The resulting blend was so brightly colored that it looked like Simpson's style nuclear waste and was drinking the dye from a fluorescent marker soaked in water. It got comments from people all the time like "Just what in the HELL are you drinking over there?" because it looked (and was) so unnatural. It probably didn't help I was often drinking it out of one of those plastic sports drink shaker tumblers with matching colors.
Speaking of which I also once made the horrible mistake of trying some of that Mio squirted directly into chilled neat vodka in an attempt to just save some steps. Even for me it was way too much.
They also now make Crystal Light powder sachets and other similar water enhancers with plenty of caffeine in them.
All this being said I'm glad I don't seem to have an actual caffeine addiction in that I don't get headaches or other symptoms without it, which is good because I can easily slam three large french presses in a day. I don't do that every day and it's not uncommon for me to go several days without any caffeine at all but I definitely like the buzz.
I'm also reminded of the electronic music festival I was volunteering for over ten years ago, and at one point they were sponsored by Red Bull *and* some vodka brand I don't remember.. maybe Truly? They had a lounge and bar set up for volunteers, staff and artists where that was it... that was the whole bar menu. You could have vodka, or a variety of kinds of Red Bull, or both.
On one hand, man you guys are just asking for trouble. On the other hand I was all about it and felt seen. If you were staff, artist or artist you could basically grab as much Red Bull as you could carry away. They were also offering bottles of take-away vodka packaged in reusable aluminum flasks like an MSR fuel or water bottle in about a 375 ml size and 1 liter size. People on staff would swing through and fill up their backpacks and head out to work their shifts and then go dancing.
And at the closing staff and artist party there were cases and cases of the stuff left over and a completely open bar, and thanks to the refined and hardened party skills of everyone involved it surprisingly wasn't a complete shit show.
And I thizzed my damn fool face off that week.
posted by loquacious at 5:07 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Soda + juice combination beverages are great, and I will die on that hill.
7Up and OJ mixed 50/50 is great; even if it's that horrible OJ you get out of a gun.
The commenter insisted that Windex is blue and Baja Blast is green! Fascinating
I saw this and was confused. Baja Blast sure looks green. Is Windex not blue in the US? Did I miss some subtlety in the comparison?
posted by Mitheral at 6:42 PM on July 15, 2022
7Up and OJ mixed 50/50 is great; even if it's that horrible OJ you get out of a gun.
The commenter insisted that Windex is blue and Baja Blast is green! Fascinating
I saw this and was confused. Baja Blast sure looks green. Is Windex not blue in the US? Did I miss some subtlety in the comparison?
posted by Mitheral at 6:42 PM on July 15, 2022
Baja Blast is a sort of bluish green, not unlike this flavor of Windex.
See also ProZD tries 15 flavors of Mountain Dew (video).
posted by mbrubeck at 7:08 PM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
See also ProZD tries 15 flavors of Mountain Dew (video).
posted by mbrubeck at 7:08 PM on July 15, 2022 [2 favorites]
(Oops, Pendragon already posted the ProZD video above.)
posted by mbrubeck at 7:15 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by mbrubeck at 7:15 PM on July 15, 2022 [1 favorite]
“Have you ever eaten a maraschino cherry and thought, 'I want to drink the syrup that this was floating in'? Of course you haven’t. You’re not a toddler.”
Is this supposed to make me not want to drink the syrup that maraschino cherries float in? Because it's not working.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 7:25 PM on July 15, 2022 [11 favorites]
Is this supposed to make me not want to drink the syrup that maraschino cherries float in? Because it's not working.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 7:25 PM on July 15, 2022 [11 favorites]
She's probably already planning the Oreos post next.
Why do Oreos taste like sadness instead of chocolate?
The true eternal recurrence, '00s blog posts becoming '10s YouTube becoming '20s blog posts, but this time called a newsletter and cluttering the inbox you never check.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:03 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
Why do Oreos taste like sadness instead of chocolate?
The true eternal recurrence, '00s blog posts becoming '10s YouTube becoming '20s blog posts, but this time called a newsletter and cluttering the inbox you never check.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:03 PM on July 15, 2022 [4 favorites]
flavor of Windex
I--
...
So I've identified as least one problem here.
posted by curious nu at 8:51 PM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
I--
...
So I've identified as least one problem here.
posted by curious nu at 8:51 PM on July 15, 2022 [6 favorites]
“Have you ever eaten a maraschino cherry and thought, 'I want to drink the syrup that this was floating in'? Of course you haven’t. You’re not a toddler.”
Is this supposed to make me not want to drink the syrup that maraschino cherries float in? Because it's not working.
Isn't it past your bedtime, young man?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
Is this supposed to make me not want to drink the syrup that maraschino cherries float in? Because it's not working.
Isn't it past your bedtime, young man?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:55 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
flavor of WindexRight! Are we talking about the blue Windex or the yellow Windex?
So I've identified as least one problem here.
posted by aubilenon at 8:55 PM on July 15, 2022 [3 favorites]
How do you _not_ know what Windex tastes like?
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:42 AM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by The corpse in the library at 6:42 AM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
I Am Curious (Yellow Windex)
I Am Curious (Blue Windex)
posted by kirkaracha at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2022 [3 favorites]
I Am Curious (Blue Windex)
posted by kirkaracha at 10:28 AM on July 16, 2022 [3 favorites]
I don't know if it's just growing up in the US or if it's the bland packaging, but I never felt any desire to taste Windex. Fabuloso, on the other hand...
posted by Four Ds at 10:44 AM on July 16, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by Four Ds at 10:44 AM on July 16, 2022 [5 favorites]
“Have you ever eaten a maraschino cherry and thought, 'I want to drink the syrup that this was floating in'? Of course you haven’t. You’re not a toddler.”
Is this supposed to make me not want to drink the syrup that maraschino cherries float in? Because it's not working.
Exactly. I work on a university campus and thus have easy access to all the flavors of Mtn Dew. I never really liked the original, always preferring my hometown champion SunDrop, but I will absolutely be trying Code Red now that I know it tastes like the syrup that maraschino cherries float in.
I'm not a toddler. I'm a biologist. It will be for science.
posted by hydropsyche at 11:50 AM on July 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
Is this supposed to make me not want to drink the syrup that maraschino cherries float in? Because it's not working.
Exactly. I work on a university campus and thus have easy access to all the flavors of Mtn Dew. I never really liked the original, always preferring my hometown champion SunDrop, but I will absolutely be trying Code Red now that I know it tastes like the syrup that maraschino cherries float in.
I'm not a toddler. I'm a biologist. It will be for science.
posted by hydropsyche at 11:50 AM on July 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
It's not like one chooses to taste Windex. It just happens.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:59 PM on July 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:59 PM on July 16, 2022 [2 favorites]
Not sure whether to feel old or smug to know that maraschino cherry juice is one of the essential ingredients, along with Seven-Up, of a Shirley Temple, the candy cigarette of booze.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:44 PM on July 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:44 PM on July 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
If ignorance of Grenadine is occasion for smugness, dive in.
posted by Rat Spatula at 7:18 PM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Rat Spatula at 7:18 PM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
Wasn't "The Ignorance of Grenadine" a book by one of the Brontë sisters?
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:09 PM on July 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:09 PM on July 16, 2022 [7 favorites]
Well, shee-it, guess my people weren't grenadine people.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:54 PM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:54 PM on July 16, 2022 [1 favorite]
BTW- I like to mix Diet Mtn Dew with a little cheap single-malt scotch. Not sure what a bartender would call it.
Way back in the day, we tried mixing Surge (remember Surge?) with amaretto. It was surprisingly drinkable, in the way that things can be considered drinkable when you’re male, in your early twenties, and in a certain late-90s ironic mood.
Based on the sickly grey color, we dubbed it a “retirement home piss.”
posted by nickmark at 8:33 AM on July 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Way back in the day, we tried mixing Surge (remember Surge?) with amaretto. It was surprisingly drinkable, in the way that things can be considered drinkable when you’re male, in your early twenties, and in a certain late-90s ironic mood.
Based on the sickly grey color, we dubbed it a “retirement home piss.”
posted by nickmark at 8:33 AM on July 17, 2022 [1 favorite]
Very late to the party, but I wanted to let you all know that in central NC, near Chapel Hill, you can get 12-packs of Diet Caffeine Free Mountain Dew at the grocery store.
I have a case in the house pretty frequently, and even as I drink it I wonder what sort of addiction I am satisfying by drinking such a shadow of the beverage I mainlined in my youth. And how did this monster escape Canada?
(I also have classic zero, baja zero, and spark zero right now. I do the dew, what can I say?)
posted by jermsplan at 12:11 PM on July 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
I have a case in the house pretty frequently, and even as I drink it I wonder what sort of addiction I am satisfying by drinking such a shadow of the beverage I mainlined in my youth. And how did this monster escape Canada?
(I also have classic zero, baja zero, and spark zero right now. I do the dew, what can I say?)
posted by jermsplan at 12:11 PM on July 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
Oh jeez...
Off to the Dew chat rooms to get a location.
..and to see when I'll be driving through Chapel Hill next.
posted by MtDewd at 3:12 PM on July 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
Off to the Dew chat rooms to get a location.
..and to see when I'll be driving through Chapel Hill next.
posted by MtDewd at 3:12 PM on July 19, 2022 [1 favorite]
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"This flavor has a sort of mythical status among Dew fans, and was briefly discontinued because rats that drank too much of it kept creating their own crypto-currencies."
posted by Literaryhero at 9:47 PM on July 14, 2022 [27 favorites]