A Middle-Aged Person Takes Up a Hobby
July 20, 2022 1:19 PM Subscribe
A Middle-Aged Person Takes Up a Hobby
A pop-up will ask for an email address - but the site don't verify the address. You can put in anything that looks like a valid email address to read the article, which is a pleasant essay on the joys of picking up a new hobby at the age where you don't have any illusions about ever getting good at it, or monetizing it, or whatever.
Well, that was delightful.
posted by joannemerriam at 1:29 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by joannemerriam at 1:29 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
And upon reading - yes, it was lovely. Reminded me of my kayaking craze a while back (which I've been meaning to pick up again).
Someone from the kayak group also let me try his paddleboard once. I managed to get on top of it and stand upright for exactly 2 seconds before the wake from a ferry that passed five minutes prior knocked me into the water. :-)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:35 PM on July 20, 2022
Someone from the kayak group also let me try his paddleboard once. I managed to get on top of it and stand upright for exactly 2 seconds before the wake from a ferry that passed five minutes prior knocked me into the water. :-)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:35 PM on July 20, 2022
I liked this a lot "The point is that in that moment of gliding out on the board, it felt like everything I wanted from California was being given to me."
I can also say that learning a skill you never thought you would have, when you're beyond your first few decades (swimming, here) was like learning a new language or discovering a room you never knew was there.
[In other news, apropos the intro here, gather round the campfire & tell me your tales of strangers signing up to random things with your email address.]
posted by aesop at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
I can also say that learning a skill you never thought you would have, when you're beyond your first few decades (swimming, here) was like learning a new language or discovering a room you never knew was there.
[In other news, apropos the intro here, gather round the campfire & tell me your tales of strangers signing up to random things with your email address.]
posted by aesop at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
I'm in my 40s and taking up new hobbies has definitely slid, for me, from something that's exciting and refreshing and feels healthy, to something that feels anxious and intimidating and reminds me of my limited years on Earth. And I think it's probably because I've never given up those illusions of getting good at whatever it is.
Maybe I should work on that.
posted by penduluum at 1:56 PM on July 20, 2022 [11 favorites]
Maybe I should work on that.
posted by penduluum at 1:56 PM on July 20, 2022 [11 favorites]
I've been desiring doing something new and for some reason my brain has thought - what about disc golf. No clue why and then I found out I live near the first official permanent disc golf course. I don't know how to get started. Will I have an epiphany? Dunno, but it's nice to have a feeling of wanting to learn something new after years of saying "I want to learn guitar" and battling that anxiety and fumbley sausage fingers..
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:59 PM on July 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by drewbage1847 at 1:59 PM on July 20, 2022 [3 favorites]
@drewbaggage - you can start with three discs, a putter, a midrange, and a driver. Will cost you about $30. Amazon probably sells beginner kits with 3 or 4 discs to get you started. Have fun, watch out for the water if there is any on the course. Losing a disc in the water is way more painful than losing a golf ball in the water. I've done both.
posted by COD at 2:12 PM on July 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by COD at 2:12 PM on July 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
@ EmpressCallipygos - I opened it article in a private window as I composed this specifically to check for a way to close the window that I missed the first time, and still didn't see it. Ugh.
posted by COD at 2:13 PM on July 20, 2022
posted by COD at 2:13 PM on July 20, 2022
That was a nice read and lines up perfectly with my motivation for getting a folding kayak last summer. There was something special about taking responsibility for my own safety and pushing off, floating. I was out at least twice a week and made a connection to the passage of the seasons that I haven't felt since I was a kid with an empty summer and a big fallow field at the end of the street. I love listing all the animals on the lower stretch of Toronto's Humber river: deer, beaver, mink, muskrats, map turtles, huge carp, bass, salmon, terns, kingfishers, buzzards, cormorants, mallards, wood ducks, mergansers, terns, geese, swans, blackbirds and swallows. There were a ton of herons and egrets last year but only a few so far this year. Maybe it's because the water is higher. Hopefully they'll be back next year. Plants is the next category to learn.
posted by brachiopod at 2:18 PM on July 20, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by brachiopod at 2:18 PM on July 20, 2022 [5 favorites]
In my mid-30s I heard about a book-binding class/club run every Tuesday night in the basement of the university library. I had a collection of rag-order reading copies of books I'd picked up at yard-sales which tended to lose pages when riffled. So I signed on for the class. My teachers, fine craftsmen and enthusiasts, were frequently at me to go beyond the workaday robust library style bindings that I was making week after week. And, to please them, I did create a couple of rather good leather-and-gold bindings with marbled end-papers. But my real happiness was, over 3 or 4 years of Tuesday evenings, putting a few dozen old books back into a usable state. It required deft needlework; razor-sharp knives; glue, guillotine, some sense of colour. I learned that almost every "decorative" aspect of book-binding enhances its function: so that it stands upright on the shelf and opens flat on the desk; so you can pull a book off the shelf with one finger without ripping the spine off; so you know which book you're pulling; so it's not a disaster if a book falls to the floor. AND there was no danger of getting my hair wet.
posted by BobTheScientist at 2:22 PM on July 20, 2022 [14 favorites]
posted by BobTheScientist at 2:22 PM on July 20, 2022 [14 favorites]
I started skateboarding last year because my kids got boards and I figured if I was going to supervise them I may as well join in (I started taking parkour lessons for the same reason). I'm still not any good at it but any time I can do something like go down a ramp I feel pretty proud, and there's zero jealousy or envy if I see someone else doing better than me which if I were younger and more competitive about things would have both added to and destroyed my motivation in turns.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:36 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 2:36 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
Hot take: paddle boarding is awesome, but it's a rich person's sport. A real board is $1000 brand new (like $600 used), requires a vehicle capable of taking a 10-12ft long board to a boarding location, or requires you to live close enough to an appropriate body of water to use it. You can also rent one, but in a nice area in CA it's like $40 an hour without a discount. All of these are extreme class markers.
"The point is that in that moment of gliding out on the board, it felt like everything I wanted from California was being given to me."
Also this part is extremely true due to the cost and exclusivity. There are not hordes of people crowding the few feet of water lifeguards allow access to before shouting about riptide currents in water that only goes up to your waist. And you get access to the smooth harbors and bays generally only accessible to those who own yachts parked out their backdoors.
Surfing or kayaking? Kayaking is the true poor man's version, since you can kayak in far more places. Surfing is the more athletic version. Surfing is also far cheaper to start out.
posted by The_Vegetables at 3:11 PM on July 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
"The point is that in that moment of gliding out on the board, it felt like everything I wanted from California was being given to me."
Also this part is extremely true due to the cost and exclusivity. There are not hordes of people crowding the few feet of water lifeguards allow access to before shouting about riptide currents in water that only goes up to your waist. And you get access to the smooth harbors and bays generally only accessible to those who own yachts parked out their backdoors.
Surfing or kayaking? Kayaking is the true poor man's version, since you can kayak in far more places. Surfing is the more athletic version. Surfing is also far cheaper to start out.
posted by The_Vegetables at 3:11 PM on July 20, 2022 [1 favorite]
That was really sweet. I totally identify with holding the paddle the wrong way, as I took up fencing in my 40s and was doing everything wrong for quite some time. And it DIDN'T MATTER.
posted by Peach at 3:16 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Peach at 3:16 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
The kind of blow-up paddleboard discussed in TFA fits in any car, takes a few minutes to inflate with an electric pump you can hook up to the cigarette light port in your car, and start at around €200 where I live.
posted by chavenet at 3:19 PM on July 20, 2022 [12 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 3:19 PM on July 20, 2022 [12 favorites]
My spouse got me an inflatable kayak for my birthday a few years ago. It is a tandem, but I can handle it on my own. It is such a feeling of freedom to be able to plop it in my little hatchback, drive to a nearby park, blow it up, and get out on the water. I have friends who are super into whitewater kayaking and have roof racks on their Subarus, but I am content just to paddle around on a pond.
posted by hydropsyche at 3:23 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by hydropsyche at 3:23 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
Defector continues to give far more pleasure than its subscription price. Highly recommend supporting them if you can.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:51 PM on July 20, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by Sweetie Darling at 3:51 PM on July 20, 2022 [6 favorites]
[I once sent a very long personal and detailed soul exposing and faith questioning message to my meditation teacher and later found out I was off by one letter in her address (think Rachel vs Raechel) but it never bounced nor did I get a reply and I still wonder what that person thought of it and appreciate their discretion.]
And yes to all over 40 learning, you feel alive like you’re flying it’s wonderful
posted by St. Peepsburg at 4:05 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
And yes to all over 40 learning, you feel alive like you’re flying it’s wonderful
posted by St. Peepsburg at 4:05 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
That was a charming read, and I too would probably turn the paddle back around.
A bit over a decade ago, I was in an antiques store and saw the kind of dollhouse I always wanted as a child. I felt nostalgic, turned to walk away, and then said, "wait. I am an adult with a salary. Why can't I buy a dollhouse?" And lo, I bought a dollhouse. And then I said, "wait. I am an adult with a salary who was always interested in learning how to build dollhouses. Why can't I learn to do that?" And lo, I have since learned how to do that. This year, I said, "you know, it's finally time to learn how to make mini furniture," and that has been an excellent distraction from...things.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:38 PM on July 20, 2022 [22 favorites]
A bit over a decade ago, I was in an antiques store and saw the kind of dollhouse I always wanted as a child. I felt nostalgic, turned to walk away, and then said, "wait. I am an adult with a salary. Why can't I buy a dollhouse?" And lo, I bought a dollhouse. And then I said, "wait. I am an adult with a salary who was always interested in learning how to build dollhouses. Why can't I learn to do that?" And lo, I have since learned how to do that. This year, I said, "you know, it's finally time to learn how to make mini furniture," and that has been an excellent distraction from...things.
posted by thomas j wise at 4:38 PM on July 20, 2022 [22 favorites]
For me it was lock picking. Always wanted to learn how and Reddit has an excellent locksport forum, including belt rankings based on picking locks of increasing complexity. Spent a couple hundred bucks on locks and picks last year and became a green belt within a couple of months. I felt like James Freaking Bond!
I didn’t care to get super good at it (no Medeco picking in my future), but even gaining some intermediate skill feels like you’ve unlocked (heh) a whole new vista. Of course, it does lead you to take a MUCH dimmer view of the security of most padlocks you encounter… :)
posted by darkstar at 5:09 PM on July 20, 2022 [7 favorites]
I didn’t care to get super good at it (no Medeco picking in my future), but even gaining some intermediate skill feels like you’ve unlocked (heh) a whole new vista. Of course, it does lead you to take a MUCH dimmer view of the security of most padlocks you encounter… :)
posted by darkstar at 5:09 PM on July 20, 2022 [7 favorites]
I got back into kayaking a couple years ago. Our little circle of friends with benefits kayaks is steadily growing, and it is such a joy to get everyone out on the water, and watch as we all take a deep, cleansing breath, and look around at each other with these great big smiles as if to say, "Yeah... the week sucked. But this? This is worth it."
Last week, we were out on the water and it was just such a beautiful day, not too hot, not too cool, just perfect, that we just sort of drifted for a while, basking in the sun, and soaking up the sights, sounds, and smells of being out in the bay. And then, one of our group looked over and went, "We're uh... getting a little close to Deception Pass, there," and yeah. Break's over, time to head back. We were fine, more than fine, but still. Enjoy yourself out there, whatever you do, but always remember to devote at least a little of your attention to your surroundings.
posted by xedrik at 5:12 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
Last week, we were out on the water and it was just such a beautiful day, not too hot, not too cool, just perfect, that we just sort of drifted for a while, basking in the sun, and soaking up the sights, sounds, and smells of being out in the bay. And then, one of our group looked over and went, "We're uh... getting a little close to Deception Pass, there," and yeah. Break's over, time to head back. We were fine, more than fine, but still. Enjoy yourself out there, whatever you do, but always remember to devote at least a little of your attention to your surroundings.
posted by xedrik at 5:12 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
For me it's been welding. Took a community college class on a whim and it turned out to be fun. Never going to do it for money, but it's been fun and has given me the confidence to look at a bunch of broken stuff and say "I can fix that!" and do a half-assed, but functional job of fixing it.
posted by aneel at 5:25 PM on July 20, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by aneel at 5:25 PM on July 20, 2022 [10 favorites]
I've said it elsewhere on this site, but learning to be kind of OK at welding is an amazing feeling. I can melt metal at will and what I can create is limited only by my (very limited) imagination. In my opinion, it's the easiest amazing skill.
posted by booooooze at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by booooooze at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2022 [5 favorites]
Defector/paywall link, as an FYI to those of us not subscribing. (Oh well. Not a sport-y person, so wouldn't be my thing to pay for.)
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2022
posted by jenfullmoon at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2022
I’ve always found that I can just dismiss the popups on Defector.
Locksport seems neat, I’ve thought about trying it out from time to time.
posted by rodlymight at 6:37 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
Locksport seems neat, I’ve thought about trying it out from time to time.
posted by rodlymight at 6:37 PM on July 20, 2022 [2 favorites]
"wait. I am an adult with a salary. Why can't I buy a dollhouse?"
This is how I ended up owning several big Lego sets.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2022 [20 favorites]
This is how I ended up owning several big Lego sets.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2022 [20 favorites]
And I think it's probably because I've never given up those illusions of getting good at whatever it is.
I am also in my 40s and my attitude towards picking up major new skills has slid precisely into the “Ah shit, here we go again…” Grand Theft Auto meme. That said, I will gracefully accept second place at any and every flower-smelling contest after I am cold and buried in the ground. There is no worse insult than “complacent,” and if that’s an indication of failure to mature then the entire universe can fuck right off.
Someday I will die because there is an ever-diminishing capacity for cellular mitosis within me. Each of us was born a slow-burning chemical fire, why should our souls be any different?
posted by Ryvar at 7:27 PM on July 20, 2022 [9 favorites]
I am also in my 40s and my attitude towards picking up major new skills has slid precisely into the “Ah shit, here we go again…” Grand Theft Auto meme. That said, I will gracefully accept second place at any and every flower-smelling contest after I am cold and buried in the ground. There is no worse insult than “complacent,” and if that’s an indication of failure to mature then the entire universe can fuck right off.
Someday I will die because there is an ever-diminishing capacity for cellular mitosis within me. Each of us was born a slow-burning chemical fire, why should our souls be any different?
posted by Ryvar at 7:27 PM on July 20, 2022 [9 favorites]
Back in July 2020, I suddenly developed an interest in hand tool woodworking at the age of 40. I’m a boardgamer, and constantly facing an issue where I can’t fit expansion content to the base game box. So I thought, maybe I could build custom boxes out of wood to fit it all. I hated shop class as a kid, and had no pre-existing skills. Innocently enough, I did some YouTube searches.
My life changed that day.
I became obsessed with the topic. I’ve watched countless hundreds of hours of videos, free and paid. I’ve read a multitude of books. I had a shop space built and spent an insane amount of money on tools—mostly hand tools, but a few choice power tools as well. (My software development job now basically exists to fund my woodworking.)
I haven’t yet built a single boardgame box because I keep going off on tangents and outfitting the shop with jigs, tool holders etc., but it’s exhilarating nonetheless. Notably, at 42 now, I’m still a relative young ’un at the hobby. And I fully intend to get good. I’m a perfectionist, and woodworking gives me a safe, consequence-free outlet for it without looming deadlines or other external demands. To illustrate this: before a single tool touched a piece of wood, I had spent a good 200+ hours just learning theory and being shown techniques by master woodworkers on YouTube. It’s a rite of passage for your first hand cut dovetails to be kind of shit, but I intend mine to look like they were cut by a seasoned professional, even if it takes me days to finesse every square millimeter of them.
This is going to be my main hobby for the rest of my life, or for as long as I’m going to be physically able to do it. In ways that are too complex and subtle to write about here, it’s changed my life priorities and helped lift me from depression.
I wanted to post this just to give an example of how it’s fine to have actual ambitions about your hobbies and skills, even if you’re no longer a spring chicken.
posted by jklaiho at 3:28 AM on July 21, 2022 [16 favorites]
My life changed that day.
I became obsessed with the topic. I’ve watched countless hundreds of hours of videos, free and paid. I’ve read a multitude of books. I had a shop space built and spent an insane amount of money on tools—mostly hand tools, but a few choice power tools as well. (My software development job now basically exists to fund my woodworking.)
I haven’t yet built a single boardgame box because I keep going off on tangents and outfitting the shop with jigs, tool holders etc., but it’s exhilarating nonetheless. Notably, at 42 now, I’m still a relative young ’un at the hobby. And I fully intend to get good. I’m a perfectionist, and woodworking gives me a safe, consequence-free outlet for it without looming deadlines or other external demands. To illustrate this: before a single tool touched a piece of wood, I had spent a good 200+ hours just learning theory and being shown techniques by master woodworkers on YouTube. It’s a rite of passage for your first hand cut dovetails to be kind of shit, but I intend mine to look like they were cut by a seasoned professional, even if it takes me days to finesse every square millimeter of them.
This is going to be my main hobby for the rest of my life, or for as long as I’m going to be physically able to do it. In ways that are too complex and subtle to write about here, it’s changed my life priorities and helped lift me from depression.
I wanted to post this just to give an example of how it’s fine to have actual ambitions about your hobbies and skills, even if you’re no longer a spring chicken.
posted by jklaiho at 3:28 AM on July 21, 2022 [16 favorites]
I've taken up birding and photography as an old man and I enjoy it specifically because it is difficult and challenging but in ways I can manage. If I were really good at it, I'd probably find it boring. If I had high end gear it would probably be much less challenging (those $5K cameras with bird eye tracking autofocus and those expensive prime lenses!!). If I were competitive I'd find it too taxing and worklike.
But dillententism is precisely where I want to be so I roll with a $300 camera, some old crap binoculars, merlin on my phone and half-assed birding knowledge, decaying eyes and bird the places within self-powered locomotion range of my home. It's a quiet, unobtrusive and healthy hobby that gets me out in semi-natural spaces and increases my daily dose of wonder and amusement (unfortunately as my city, Chicago, rampages through park spaces with bulldozers and chainsaws but you can't have it all)
posted by srboisvert at 3:37 AM on July 21, 2022 [6 favorites]
But dillententism is precisely where I want to be so I roll with a $300 camera, some old crap binoculars, merlin on my phone and half-assed birding knowledge, decaying eyes and bird the places within self-powered locomotion range of my home. It's a quiet, unobtrusive and healthy hobby that gets me out in semi-natural spaces and increases my daily dose of wonder and amusement (unfortunately as my city, Chicago, rampages through park spaces with bulldozers and chainsaws but you can't have it all)
posted by srboisvert at 3:37 AM on July 21, 2022 [6 favorites]
Oh, a fun side note I forgot to mention from the It’s A Small World department: I was just reading The Anarchist’s Tool Chest by Christopher Schwarz, one of my woodworking heroes, and in it learned that his cousin and an influential figure in his adoption of the notion of anarchism in woodworking is none other than MeFi’s own Jessamyn! Thanks are in order, I suppose :-)
posted by jklaiho at 3:41 AM on July 21, 2022 [8 favorites]
posted by jklaiho at 3:41 AM on July 21, 2022 [8 favorites]
I just started making coin rings! Under two hundred in tools and I've made three bad ones, a couple OK ones, and one pretty good one so I'm almost comfortable enough to do actual silver coins. For all its failings, YouTube is an amazing resource for "I wonder how that's done -- oh, now I'm skilled enough to do it myself".
posted by AzraelBrown at 6:01 AM on July 21, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by AzraelBrown at 6:01 AM on July 21, 2022 [6 favorites]
Oh, wasn't that wonderful? I both can and can't relate to it. I totally get the thrill of being new and bad at something, but I have always been and continue to be (long past the tender age of 40!) a fearless picker-upper of new enthusiasms. In fact last week I went paddle boarding for the first time and ended up leaving the protected cove I started in for a long jaunt out to the point. I didn't really think I was ready but my brand-new acquaintance, a quintessential California surfer/wellness instructor type thirty years my junior, urged me to come along, so I did, and amazingly I never fell once! Even when a boat went by! So fun! I was definitely surprised to find out how expensive they can be, though.
thomas j wise, your story touched me. When I was 11 I somehow came into possession of a catalog of miniature-building supplies that also had little tutorials for building miniatures and for months was seized with the desire to build a dollhouse from a kit from this catalog. My parents were divorced and I lived in true poverty with my mom, occasionally going to visit my very wealthy father, and he was the only way I was ever going be able to do this. I never asked him for anything but I carefully planned out how to approach him at my next visit. He immediately said no, and then shortly after that I learned he had bought my half-sister her very own pony. An actual pony! So this dollhouse thing has been stuck in my craw ever since. I no longer have any desire to do it but I was very happy to read about you fulfilling your own wish!
Anyway, it's fine, I have had a nice life of exploring new interests. For some reason I'm always convinced I can do anything and I'm usually mostly right. Like maybe not the best, but probably a 6 or 7 out of 10? I hate to see people feeling they're too old to do something new because post-40 I have learned to do so many fun things. I recently picked up watercolors and holy hell is it hard! This part, where everything seems so complicated but there seems to be some promise of ability, is the most fun to me. Every little achievement is a source of wonder and delight. And yes, YouTube is just so great for learning new things. I feel very lucky to live in the golden age of free instruction via YouTube!
posted by HotToddy at 6:49 AM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
thomas j wise, your story touched me. When I was 11 I somehow came into possession of a catalog of miniature-building supplies that also had little tutorials for building miniatures and for months was seized with the desire to build a dollhouse from a kit from this catalog. My parents were divorced and I lived in true poverty with my mom, occasionally going to visit my very wealthy father, and he was the only way I was ever going be able to do this. I never asked him for anything but I carefully planned out how to approach him at my next visit. He immediately said no, and then shortly after that I learned he had bought my half-sister her very own pony. An actual pony! So this dollhouse thing has been stuck in my craw ever since. I no longer have any desire to do it but I was very happy to read about you fulfilling your own wish!
Anyway, it's fine, I have had a nice life of exploring new interests. For some reason I'm always convinced I can do anything and I'm usually mostly right. Like maybe not the best, but probably a 6 or 7 out of 10? I hate to see people feeling they're too old to do something new because post-40 I have learned to do so many fun things. I recently picked up watercolors and holy hell is it hard! This part, where everything seems so complicated but there seems to be some promise of ability, is the most fun to me. Every little achievement is a source of wonder and delight. And yes, YouTube is just so great for learning new things. I feel very lucky to live in the golden age of free instruction via YouTube!
posted by HotToddy at 6:49 AM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
"a fearless picker-upper of new enthusiasms."
I used to worry I was a dilettante, but now I realize my hobby is actually "learning new things." (Which also made me smarter about not buying tons of expensive hobby supplies when really I just want to learn a new thing, not do it forever.) Some of them I turn out to enjoy and keep doing; others I learn how it works and I'm like "okay, neat, now I know." Watercolor is the former; pottery was the latter. Once I knew how to throw a lopsided pot on the wheel, I felt my pottery experience was complete. In a good way! I learned something, it was interesting, I got to try it until I grasped the basics, and I felt fulfilled and finished.
I also think it's really good for kids to see adults enjoy hobbies they're not necessarily good at, and for kids to see adults trying new things without worrying about perfection or looking like a moron. There's so much pressure on kids to master skills, just because that's kinda how school works. I think it's really healthy for them to see people doing things because they want to do them, and not caring about the quality of the output.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:10 AM on July 21, 2022 [17 favorites]
I used to worry I was a dilettante, but now I realize my hobby is actually "learning new things." (Which also made me smarter about not buying tons of expensive hobby supplies when really I just want to learn a new thing, not do it forever.) Some of them I turn out to enjoy and keep doing; others I learn how it works and I'm like "okay, neat, now I know." Watercolor is the former; pottery was the latter. Once I knew how to throw a lopsided pot on the wheel, I felt my pottery experience was complete. In a good way! I learned something, it was interesting, I got to try it until I grasped the basics, and I felt fulfilled and finished.
I also think it's really good for kids to see adults enjoy hobbies they're not necessarily good at, and for kids to see adults trying new things without worrying about perfection or looking like a moron. There's so much pressure on kids to master skills, just because that's kinda how school works. I think it's really healthy for them to see people doing things because they want to do them, and not caring about the quality of the output.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:10 AM on July 21, 2022 [17 favorites]
> I've been desiring doing something new and for some reason my brain has thought - what about disc golf.
I had exactly the same thought a few weeks ago! I was in another town for one of my other hobbies and realized there was a store on my way home that sold nothing but disc golf supplies, so I went in on a whim. They were so freaking friendly and not at all dismissive of a woman on her way home from the Senior Games saying "so, these frisbees, which one do I want?"
I now own four discs of various qualities. I went to one of the courses near me and continued to find nothing but supportive people. I was there on a weekday morning -- maybe people are more territorial on weekends -- but I was impressed.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:03 AM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
I had exactly the same thought a few weeks ago! I was in another town for one of my other hobbies and realized there was a store on my way home that sold nothing but disc golf supplies, so I went in on a whim. They were so freaking friendly and not at all dismissive of a woman on her way home from the Senior Games saying "so, these frisbees, which one do I want?"
I now own four discs of various qualities. I went to one of the courses near me and continued to find nothing but supportive people. I was there on a weekday morning -- maybe people are more territorial on weekends -- but I was impressed.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:03 AM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
In my mid 40s and I've tried to learn guitar multiple times and it just hasn't stuck. I have no interest in monetizing it or whatever...I just want to be able to play. But for the life of me I just cannot get past the fact that I am really really bad at it. Like, I know I'm supposed to be bad and practice and still be bad and practice and be less bad and so on, but it kills my motivation when my "Ring of Fire" strumming sounds like utter garbage. I'll probably give it another go soon, though.
posted by snwod at 8:07 AM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by snwod at 8:07 AM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
I’m a 42 year old who started deliberately cultivating hobbies about 7 years ago (initially, it was a homework assignment from my therapist, partially about becoming a person who doesn’t feel boring, and partly about practicing being ok with being bad at stuff). I started with drawing (cheap, having something to see at the end) and immediately became frustrated that I couldn’t translate my mind-picture into a paper-picture. I guess I thought I would just be able to do it with no practice or instruction? Instead of giving up (bc I didn’t want to lose at therapy) I leaned in and posted my attempts on social media, both for the encouragement of my friends and as a accountability thing. I drew something every day for a month.
Thus began a series of “try it for a month” projects that I continue to this day. I’ve tried: going to nude model drawing sessions, running, jump roping, macrame, birding, bird photography, feather identification, tree identification, edible plant eating, cooking, making 100 egg recipes, making chainmail, collecting marbles, making art (mostly painting) that characters in Star Trek TNG make, felting, making mossball aquariums, block printing, card making, juggling, hand lettering, making balloon animals, hand dexterity stuff like coin walking, harmonica, making drink garnishes and coffee art, yo-yo, tying bow ties, baton twirling, and water colors. Probably other things I’m not remembering rn.
Only a few of them stick as new ongoing hobbies, but really I just like trying stuff out to find out if I’ll like it. I handmake a lot of gifts now and realized that’s my love language. Like in the article, I don’t do some things I’d probably enjoy bc I hate driving, and I don’t have a lot of money to throw at stuff I might only do for a little while. I still post stuff I make on my IG to get the endorphins of a few likes, and also to document what I’m doing. I often do feel embarrassment or defeat, but I find it’s helpful to feel that way sometimes and work through it.
Anyway, middle aged people doing new hobbies (badly even) is something I highly encourage!
posted by oomny at 9:24 AM on July 21, 2022 [11 favorites]
Thus began a series of “try it for a month” projects that I continue to this day. I’ve tried: going to nude model drawing sessions, running, jump roping, macrame, birding, bird photography, feather identification, tree identification, edible plant eating, cooking, making 100 egg recipes, making chainmail, collecting marbles, making art (mostly painting) that characters in Star Trek TNG make, felting, making mossball aquariums, block printing, card making, juggling, hand lettering, making balloon animals, hand dexterity stuff like coin walking, harmonica, making drink garnishes and coffee art, yo-yo, tying bow ties, baton twirling, and water colors. Probably other things I’m not remembering rn.
Only a few of them stick as new ongoing hobbies, but really I just like trying stuff out to find out if I’ll like it. I handmake a lot of gifts now and realized that’s my love language. Like in the article, I don’t do some things I’d probably enjoy bc I hate driving, and I don’t have a lot of money to throw at stuff I might only do for a little while. I still post stuff I make on my IG to get the endorphins of a few likes, and also to document what I’m doing. I often do feel embarrassment or defeat, but I find it’s helpful to feel that way sometimes and work through it.
Anyway, middle aged people doing new hobbies (badly even) is something I highly encourage!
posted by oomny at 9:24 AM on July 21, 2022 [11 favorites]
Now middle-aged myself, I've been an avid cyclist since the age of five or so. I love riding. I suppose it counts as a hobby? In order to keep it feeling fun and low-stakes, an important barrier I have provided for myself is that I do not allow myself to be too detail-obsessed about it. I do not look up part specs. I do not follow industry news. I make basic adjustments and fixes, but I do not know how to, say, re-pack the bearings in my bottom bracket. I have a road bike and a cyclo-cross bike and when they need seeing-to, I pay a trusted shop to see to them, and I try—to every extent that my anxious brain will let me—to keep things easy breezy beautiful cover girl.
To remind myself to keep it light, I think of my experience building a PC in the 2000s. I pored over forums and knew every part spec by heart. There was a potential incompatibility between the PSU and the mobo, so when I got weird booting issues the last thing I checked was the RAM modules, of which one was out-of-the-package faulty. Since I didn't have spare troubleshooting parts, this took a month of back-and-forth with the shop. I don't regret it, but it taught me a valuable lesson about what to focus on and where to spend my time (I felt like I had wasted a lot of it).
I try to maintain my relative cycling ignorance because it lets me focus on what I love about it: the riding. I still notice things like "I wish the weight distribution on this bike were better" but since I'm intentionally not equipped to do anything about it, I just tuck that away for later consideration instead of doing what I might be doing if I were obsessed to the same degree I had been with that computer: fiddling away with wrenches for hours on end.
I mention this only as a complement to some of the other replies, or as a +1 to srboisvert's comment about birding. Lots of hobbies offer room to dive into equipment details, and some hobby cultures seem to encourage it (I am also into photography, sigh), but there are Other Ways. On preview: I hope everyone can enjoy engaging with hobbies to exactly the degree that makes them happiest.
posted by TangoCharlie at 10:07 AM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
To remind myself to keep it light, I think of my experience building a PC in the 2000s. I pored over forums and knew every part spec by heart. There was a potential incompatibility between the PSU and the mobo, so when I got weird booting issues the last thing I checked was the RAM modules, of which one was out-of-the-package faulty. Since I didn't have spare troubleshooting parts, this took a month of back-and-forth with the shop. I don't regret it, but it taught me a valuable lesson about what to focus on and where to spend my time (I felt like I had wasted a lot of it).
I try to maintain my relative cycling ignorance because it lets me focus on what I love about it: the riding. I still notice things like "I wish the weight distribution on this bike were better" but since I'm intentionally not equipped to do anything about it, I just tuck that away for later consideration instead of doing what I might be doing if I were obsessed to the same degree I had been with that computer: fiddling away with wrenches for hours on end.
I mention this only as a complement to some of the other replies, or as a +1 to srboisvert's comment about birding. Lots of hobbies offer room to dive into equipment details, and some hobby cultures seem to encourage it (I am also into photography, sigh), but there are Other Ways. On preview: I hope everyone can enjoy engaging with hobbies to exactly the degree that makes them happiest.
posted by TangoCharlie at 10:07 AM on July 21, 2022 [4 favorites]
[ And I have been seeing a big uptick in strangers' emails lately. Highlights include a guy in AUS who books trailer park vacations with my email address, someone who just signed up for a smorgasbord of insurance quotes, a guy in the UK making romantic photo cards, and a teen who just signed up for Roblox and has made several password change requests since I locked them out. Sorry, teen! ]
posted by TangoCharlie at 10:15 AM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by TangoCharlie at 10:15 AM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
The risk of falling down the rabbit hole of my primary hobby is legendary and produces endless grumpy arguments about proper ways to do things. On my podcast about it, my cohost and I constantly exhort people to do what they enjoy because if they're stressing out about a hobby, why are they doing it?
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:16 AM on July 21, 2022
posted by drewbage1847 at 10:16 AM on July 21, 2022
I absofrickin'lutelylove enthusiastic amateurs, more than anything else in the world. It makes me so goddamn happy watching people being brave and joyously clumsy.
I laughed at the end, when the guy told him he was holding the paddle wrong as he walked out.
It's easy to forget, or not want to, or not be capable of being vulnerable and open enough to risk being bad at things, especially as you age, and I love seeing it.
Recently I lived in house that contained a bunch of other lefty types and the one actual activist in the house mocked people he saw showing up at various events. He mocked them, he said because he saw them "going to everything". Aside from the possibility that they, like he, went for free food, people do exist who just enjoy trying lots of things.
I'm one of them. And I'm naturally bad at pretty much everything I try.
So, cheers, from one clumsy amateur to all the rest of our crew.
posted by liminal_shadows at 1:01 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
I laughed at the end, when the guy told him he was holding the paddle wrong as he walked out.
It's easy to forget, or not want to, or not be capable of being vulnerable and open enough to risk being bad at things, especially as you age, and I love seeing it.
Recently I lived in house that contained a bunch of other lefty types and the one actual activist in the house mocked people he saw showing up at various events. He mocked them, he said because he saw them "going to everything". Aside from the possibility that they, like he, went for free food, people do exist who just enjoy trying lots of things.
I'm one of them. And I'm naturally bad at pretty much everything I try.
So, cheers, from one clumsy amateur to all the rest of our crew.
posted by liminal_shadows at 1:01 PM on July 21, 2022 [2 favorites]
> making art (mostly painting) that characters in Star Trek TNG make
marry me
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:28 PM on July 21, 2022
marry me
posted by The corpse in the library at 2:28 PM on July 21, 2022
It is too hot to do things outside right now, so my current *new* hobby is learning how to play the banjo I bought at a flea market last month. I was horrid at first. I'm starting to get the muscle memory thing going for my right hand, at least for a couple of picking patterns, so I'm less horrid now. There are a couple of beginner banjo tutorials on YouTube that are working really well for me.
A couple of hobbies on the wish list: flat-water kayaking or canoeing and glass blowing.
posted by coppertop at 7:07 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
A couple of hobbies on the wish list: flat-water kayaking or canoeing and glass blowing.
posted by coppertop at 7:07 PM on July 21, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'm also on the "new hobbies" bandwagon - first year of lockdown I made a kalimba and played with it for a while, then I got my amateur radio (HAM) license and now I'm learning what all my local wildflowers are called. The last one has a pretty low barrier to entry - I use the iNaturalist app to suggest what I'm looking at, and cross-refence it with other sources.
posted by Harald74 at 2:51 AM on July 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by Harald74 at 2:51 AM on July 22, 2022 [3 favorites]
Mid forties (49.5).
Very slowly learning to play ukulele ... which is a bit more portable and a whole lot easier to get into than guitar, I've found. Maybe some day the skills will translate into the more complicated world of six strings, maybe not. It's good, kind of freeing, to know I'll never get really good at it. It's still nice to sit on the couch, on a rainy night, and think about notes and chords instead of the state of the world.
Similarly, I've been doing a lot more cycling and really enjoying it. Derailed a little by 'Flu, Covid and Melbourne Winter, but I'll get back into it. Slowly, eventually, maybe some bike packing some day.
I guess this is middle age :-/
posted by nickzoic at 4:31 AM on July 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Very slowly learning to play ukulele ... which is a bit more portable and a whole lot easier to get into than guitar, I've found. Maybe some day the skills will translate into the more complicated world of six strings, maybe not. It's good, kind of freeing, to know I'll never get really good at it. It's still nice to sit on the couch, on a rainy night, and think about notes and chords instead of the state of the world.
Similarly, I've been doing a lot more cycling and really enjoying it. Derailed a little by 'Flu, Covid and Melbourne Winter, but I'll get back into it. Slowly, eventually, maybe some bike packing some day.
I guess this is middle age :-/
posted by nickzoic at 4:31 AM on July 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
I also think it's really good for kids to see adults enjoy hobbies they're not necessarily good at, and for kids to see adults trying new things without worrying about perfection or looking like a moron
My daughter's like this which is a big reason why I do skateboarding and parkour with my kids. She can see me trying and not really improving but still having fun with it and hopefully she'll realize that it's ok to not be particularly good at something and still do it.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 5:09 AM on July 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
My daughter's like this which is a big reason why I do skateboarding and parkour with my kids. She can see me trying and not really improving but still having fun with it and hopefully she'll realize that it's ok to not be particularly good at something and still do it.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 5:09 AM on July 23, 2022 [1 favorite]
So, I'm 49, and I recently found a thing.
A thing that scratches damned near all my creative and intellectual itches. A thing that I've been curious about for nigh on forever, but that I've only recently gotten the bandwidth, resources, etc., to try.
I want to get good at it. Like, *stupidly, heartbreakingly* good at it.
The implication that such might be impossible simply because of my age makes me almost tremble with rage.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:22 PM on July 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
A thing that scratches damned near all my creative and intellectual itches. A thing that I've been curious about for nigh on forever, but that I've only recently gotten the bandwidth, resources, etc., to try.
I want to get good at it. Like, *stupidly, heartbreakingly* good at it.
The implication that such might be impossible simply because of my age makes me almost tremble with rage.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:22 PM on July 23, 2022 [2 favorites]
Lot of inspiration in this thread. I think I'll be coming back here for a long time.
posted by penduluum at 8:08 AM on July 24, 2022
posted by penduluum at 8:08 AM on July 24, 2022
ALL THESE >40 y.o. HOBBIES ARE YOURS, EXCEPT EURORACK.
ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.
USE THEM TOGETHER. USE THEM IN PEACE.
posted by aesop at 11:47 AM on July 26, 2022
ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.
USE THEM TOGETHER. USE THEM IN PEACE.
posted by aesop at 11:47 AM on July 26, 2022
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posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:22 PM on July 20, 2022 [3 favorites]