How to Make a Schadenfreude Schadenfreude Pie
August 4, 2022 10:25 PM   Subscribe

Time for a slice of John Scalzi‘s Schadenfreude Pie “My word, what is this dark and vaguely sinister-looking pie you see before you? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s the world’s first Schadenfreude Pie, the pie to enjoy while you are reveling in the horrible misfortunes of others.”
posted by Bottlecap (26 comments total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips or chunks

dark chocolate?
posted by kliuless at 10:40 PM on August 4 [3 favorites]

MetaFilter's own, of course
posted by chavenet at 10:55 PM on August 4 [3 favorites]

This recipe does not state "have shitty person's lawyer irredeemably out them as shitty perjurer person whose shitty treasonable dealings are on full display" but I suppose that can be taken as implied.

Happy Schadenfreude Pie Day.
posted by away for regrooving at 11:39 PM on August 4 [19 favorites]

This is the wholesomest evil I've seen in a long time. Approved.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:58 AM on August 5 [2 favorites]

Saved me from having to search for it - so timely! So delicious!
posted by leslies at 5:56 AM on August 5

Oh, 2006. That's why the daughter is so tiny.
posted by Bee'sWing at 6:28 AM on August 5 [4 favorites]

Is there a keto version of this? Because I want to laugh evilly and plot the downfall of my enemies and eat pie, but I'm really off carbs right now.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:41 AM on August 5 [3 favorites]

Seems like it might work crustless? Worth a try, at least.
posted by humbug at 7:03 AM on August 5

The carb-less version of this recipe is: fry two eggs in butter.
posted by Jon_Evil at 7:04 AM on August 5 [12 favorites]

Yeah, it’s basically a chess or shoo fly pie which is not going to be amenable to carb removal.
posted by janell at 7:36 AM on August 5 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I thought this was recent but it's 2006.

That said, isn't it nice when karma finally gets someone, for once?
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:36 AM on August 5

I think Schadenfreude Pie's first appearance on MeFi was a comment in a 2007 post about Paris Hilton going to jail.
posted by zamboni at 8:21 AM on August 5

I've never made the pie, but if I do, I'll add a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, as I do with brownies and peanut butter cookies. Not everyone likes my "improvement" to these recipes, but those who do, REALLY like it.
posted by she's not there at 8:28 AM on August 5 [8 favorites]

I think that, unless carbs are extremely bad for you, you can just eat a very small amount of schadenfreude pie, and share it with people.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 8:36 AM on August 5 [1 favorite]

Nancy Lebovitz, eating a very small amount is exactly what Scalzi recommends, humorously enough:
Also — and this is really just a perfect but unintentional extension of the whole schadenfreude metaphor — you really only want a small slice; too much of this pie and it’ll sit in the pit of your stomach like a rock of judgment, pulling you down. Small slice? Excellent. Big slice? You’ll regret it. Just like schadenfreude itself.
posted by indexy at 9:16 AM on August 5 [1 favorite]

Some people would be better off without the small slice, but a celebratory forkful might be alright.
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 9:50 AM on August 5 [1 favorite]

BTW this is delightful.
posted by scratch at 9:54 AM on August 5

Schadenfreude Schadenfreude Schadenfreude Pie,
Why is a Jones? I don't know why.
Ask me for phone data and I reply
Schadenfreude Schadenfreude Schadenfreude Pie.
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:22 AM on August 5 [8 favorites]

Oh! Orange Dinosaur Slide! I shall have to bake a pie and share it with so many people.
posted by wotsac at 4:51 PM on August 5 [1 favorite]

Oooh now I am wondering what a recipe for Humble Pie might look like.

Humble Pie is difficult to eat but both necessary and good for you. Humble Pie makes enemies and arch nemeses happy when you eat it, and irl the closest thing to an enemy or arch nemesis is a sibling or SO? Humble Pie is difficult to eat but good for you and makes your SO and/or sibling very happy to see you eat it.

So, like, hmmm, I wonder, is Humble Pie some kind of mammogram or prostate exam in pie form....?
posted by MiraK at 7:51 PM on August 5

Humble Pie is difficult to eat but both necessary and good for you.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people find it hard to simply say "I'm sorry".
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:27 PM on August 5

“From Hell’s heart I stab at thee, Schadenfredue Pie!”

posted by j_curiouser at 10:40 AM on August 6

Oooh now I am wondering what a recipe for Humble Pie might look like.

I was about to snark that there's already recipes for humble pie, but it seems that the link between humble pie and umble/numble pie is not entirely ironclad, just fairly likely. I'll cut my own slice of the former, shall I?
posted by zamboni at 2:21 PM on August 7

If you care for a bit of topping on your pie, I'd recommend DC's signature Indifference Sauce. (It's sort of like Mumbo Sauce, but with Trumper Tears instead of vinegar.)
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:50 AM on August 8 [1 favorite]

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