Shark attacks ‘the new normal for New Yorkers’
August 12, 2022 10:34 PM Subscribe
How are the sharks getting into New York? Are there periodic sharknados, or do the regular climate-change-caused floods cause swarms of them to swim through the Subway, taking bites out of straphangers?
posted by acb at 3:44 AM on August 13, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by acb at 3:44 AM on August 13, 2022 [11 favorites]
All of the "shark attacks" in this story are small minor bites. One was "a scratch to his leg". Thank goodness all of the press are not swallowing the "Sharks are coming to get you because of climate change be afraid" nonsense. And the amazing David Shiffman just released his book Why Sharks Matter and is getting quoted in a lot of these stories debunking the fear taught by the movies and Shark Week.
Sharks aren't out to get you, even though 'Jaws' music makes it seem that way
The NY Times, of all people, Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Shark?
Sharks aren't out to get you, even though 'Jaws' music makes it seem that way
The NY Times, of all people, Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Shark?
Shiffman points out that a fear of sharks is no more rational than a fear of cars, lawn mowers or toasters, all of which outperform the animals in lethality. “From the years 1990 to 2006, 11 Americans were killed by sharks, while 16 died by falling into holes on the beach,” he writes.posted by hydropsyche at 3:45 AM on August 13, 2022 [14 favorites]
Though this isn't a NY publication this feels like the typical NY media overhyped sensation that a few people are doing it so that it must be a trend. I had to double check I was not reading the NYT.
It could be climate change, or it could be that people are more connected to media then ever and that a lot of shark bites, as noted above, that would not necessitate reporting to official authorities are showing up on social media. Even 20 years ago if someone got grazed by a shark of Montauk or whatever it would've maybe been a story they told friends when they got back home, now it is getting 100k views on TikTok.
posted by geoff. at 4:23 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
It could be climate change, or it could be that people are more connected to media then ever and that a lot of shark bites, as noted above, that would not necessitate reporting to official authorities are showing up on social media. Even 20 years ago if someone got grazed by a shark of Montauk or whatever it would've maybe been a story they told friends when they got back home, now it is getting 100k views on TikTok.
posted by geoff. at 4:23 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
must. not. make. lawyer. jokes.
posted by lalochezia at 4:53 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by lalochezia at 4:53 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
I don't live in New York, but the number of times I've been beaten by a Shark ("attacked", if you will) in Nintendo Switch Sports bowling has only increased since Nintendo released that shark body mod.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:58 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:58 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
How are the sharks getting into New York?
*knock knock* “Cookiegram.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:27 AM on August 13, 2022 [28 favorites]
*knock knock* “Cookiegram.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 5:27 AM on August 13, 2022 [28 favorites]
The article neglects to mention the approximately 100,000,000 sharks that are killed by humans annually.
posted by Joan Rivers of Babylon at 5:37 AM on August 13, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by Joan Rivers of Babylon at 5:37 AM on August 13, 2022 [11 favorites]
Shiffman points out that a fear of sharks is no more rational than a fear of cars, lawn mowers or toasters, all of which outperform the animals in lethality.
“Outperform”, that’s one way of putting it. Drivers kill, what, 45k people in North America every year?
We should have asked John Williams to score a soundtrack for Covid-19, maybe then we’d take it seriously.
posted by mhoye at 5:48 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
“Outperform”, that’s one way of putting it. Drivers kill, what, 45k people in North America every year?
We should have asked John Williams to score a soundtrack for Covid-19, maybe then we’d take it seriously.
posted by mhoye at 5:48 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
16 died by falling into holes on the beach
Well, now I have something else to worry about.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:05 AM on August 13, 2022 [17 favorites]
Well, now I have something else to worry about.
posted by Literaryhero at 6:05 AM on August 13, 2022 [17 favorites]
Were these holes dug by... sharks?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:23 AM on August 13, 2022 [19 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:23 AM on August 13, 2022 [19 favorites]
Maybe climate change is making humans tastier?
posted by chavenet at 6:37 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 6:37 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
The article neglects to mention the approximately 100,000,000 sharks that are killed by humans annually.
I've heard the sharks don't distinguish between the shark killers and the vegetarians. They may even prefer the latter if their mum to!d them to always eat their veggies.
posted by biffa at 6:56 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
I've heard the sharks don't distinguish between the shark killers and the vegetarians. They may even prefer the latter if their mum to!d them to always eat their veggies.
posted by biffa at 6:56 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
a fear of cars, lawn mowers or toasters
To be fair, if all of these come for you at once, that's gonna be a pretty terrifying day.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:46 AM on August 13, 2022 [7 favorites]
To be fair, if all of these come for you at once, that's gonna be a pretty terrifying day.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:46 AM on August 13, 2022 [7 favorites]
* That time I was a kid and the toaster caught fire. I called my dad and he said "unplug it!" so that's what I did, and the house did not burn down.
* my most recent post on cars
* not supposed to use lawn mowers in the summer around here because they could catch your lawn on fire and next thing you know the whole region is on fire.
posted by aniola at 8:15 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
* my most recent post on cars
* not supposed to use lawn mowers in the summer around here because they could catch your lawn on fire and next thing you know the whole region is on fire.
posted by aniola at 8:15 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
What about hippos? Hippos kill orders of magnitude more humans than sharks, every year.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:38 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:38 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
I will be impressed when the hippo attacks come to New York.
posted by kittensyay at 9:21 AM on August 13, 2022 [10 favorites]
posted by kittensyay at 9:21 AM on August 13, 2022 [10 favorites]
You say that now, but in 2028 you will rue the day.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:26 AM on August 13, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:26 AM on August 13, 2022 [9 favorites]
You would probably need a movie with the pop cultural impact of Jaws to make people fear hippos appropriately.
Tag line: “They are here. And they are hungry hungry.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:29 AM on August 13, 2022 [25 favorites]
Tag line: “They are here. And they are hungry hungry.”
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:29 AM on August 13, 2022 [25 favorites]
The holes are clearly due to somebody preparing to bury lawyers up to their necks, and they went to get more sand.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:34 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by kirkaracha at 9:34 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
To be fair, if all of these come for you at once, that's gonna be a pretty terrifying day.
By all accounts it was.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:36 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
By all accounts it was.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:36 AM on August 13, 2022 [3 favorites]
Great White Sharks are being sighted off the coast of Maine, which was previously chillier than they tolerated. 2 years ago, a woman died in an attack. Coastal waters in Maine are warming more quickly than many other places, and it is affecting fishing. Lobsters will likely migrate a bit north, but it will be some time before the Maine coast is without our signature tasty critters.
Of course this is part of Climate Crisis, which worries me rather more than rare, but certainly skeery shark attacks.
Sorry for being literal, I am really enjoying this snark-rich thread.
posted by theora55 at 9:39 AM on August 13, 2022
Of course this is part of Climate Crisis, which worries me rather more than rare, but certainly skeery shark attacks.
Sorry for being literal, I am really enjoying this snark-rich thread.
posted by theora55 at 9:39 AM on August 13, 2022
Most people are killed by sharks. Fact.
Everything I need to know about sharks, I learned from the zine "Shark Fear, Shark Awareness" by Darin Johnson (aka Nicolas Johnson, author of Big Dead Place).
posted by surlyben at 9:46 AM on August 13, 2022
Everything I need to know about sharks, I learned from the zine "Shark Fear, Shark Awareness" by Darin Johnson (aka Nicolas Johnson, author of Big Dead Place).
posted by surlyben at 9:46 AM on August 13, 2022
I read somewhere that more New Yorkers bite people than sharks do, but I don't have a source for that. I'd love a fact check that includes updated data.
I assume that climate change would also make more New Yorkers attack each other, just out of increased crankiness.
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:11 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
I assume that climate change would also make more New Yorkers attack each other, just out of increased crankiness.
posted by blnkfrnk at 10:11 AM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
It's pretty telling that it's always about the Sharks. Nobody complains about the Jets.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:12 AM on August 13, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:12 AM on August 13, 2022 [11 favorites]
Complaining about the jets is a slightly different climate change thread.
posted by clew at 10:28 AM on August 13, 2022 [7 favorites]
posted by clew at 10:28 AM on August 13, 2022 [7 favorites]
Oh hey! I know David Shiffman, he and his wife are both very friendly and host great parties.
posted by Canageek at 10:37 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Canageek at 10:37 AM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
Nobody complains about the Jets.
Well, when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day. (Probably from being eaten by a Shark.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:51 PM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
Well, when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day. (Probably from being eaten by a Shark.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:51 PM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
I had to double check I was not reading the NYT.
Shark encounters on the rise in NY: Here’s why that’s bad news for Democrats
posted by nubs at 8:01 PM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
Shark encounters on the rise in NY: Here’s why that’s bad news for Democrats
posted by nubs at 8:01 PM on August 13, 2022 [4 favorites]
Sharks are smooth as hell. I have it on good authority.
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 8:20 PM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Don.Kinsayder at 8:20 PM on August 13, 2022 [1 favorite]
Oh, the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it, ah, out of sight
You know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, oh, wears old MacHeath, babe
So there's never, never a trace of red
posted by kirkaracha at 9:23 PM on August 13, 2022
And it shows them pearly white
Just a jackknife has old MacHeath, babe
And he keeps it, ah, out of sight
You know when that shark bites with his teeth, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves, oh, wears old MacHeath, babe
So there's never, never a trace of red
posted by kirkaracha at 9:23 PM on August 13, 2022
Eh. New Yorkers are still more likely to be bitten by a New Yorker than by a shark.
posted by AlSweigart at 8:31 AM on August 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by AlSweigart at 8:31 AM on August 14, 2022 [1 favorite]
Stay outta the shark's house! "The shark has the right to eat you up if you're in his house."
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:46 AM on August 14, 2022
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 8:46 AM on August 14, 2022
Dare I suggest that there's been a recent increase in... baby sharks?
posted by SPrintF at 9:13 AM on August 14, 2022
posted by SPrintF at 9:13 AM on August 14, 2022
I'm swimmin' here buddy
posted by crocomancer at 5:21 AM on August 15, 2022
posted by crocomancer at 5:21 AM on August 15, 2022
Sharks are smooth as hell. I have it on good authority.
They’re actually quite rough.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 8:22 AM on August 15, 2022
They’re actually quite rough.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 8:22 AM on August 15, 2022
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posted by rory at 1:27 AM on August 13, 2022 [2 favorites]