She keeps agricultural catalogs on her bedstand

August 19, 2022 1:33 PM

The Rifftrax guys did their show for The Return of Swamp Thing last night, and to commemorate it they did a novelty bluegrass song:
Your Ever Lovin' Swamp Thing.

Lyrics:
Honey let me be- honey let me be- honey let me be- honey let me be--
your lovin' swamp thing.

Well I saved you from that creepy little Frenchman,
And defeated all his stupid greasy henchmen.
Now the laboratory's blown sky-high
and it's hotter than an oven.
So let's job down to the bog and have
some interspecies lovin'.

Well honey let me be your lovin' swamp thing.
Let me be your ever-lovin' swamp thing.
I'll hold you in my branches,
and gaze into your eyes.
Then we'll go out into the sunshine
and photosynthesize.

Well let me rub your pistil with my stamen,
then pollinate you 'til you holler 'amen!'
You can fiddle 'round and nibble on my rhizome if you're able,
Oh can't you see I want to be your favorite vege-table.

Well honey let me be your lovin' swamp thing,
Your dashing, daring, decomposing swamp thing.
No matter if they blow me up
and turn me into goo.
I'll double down, and bubble up
a bathroom drain for you.

Well you won my artichoke honey,
you're the gal I want most.
The way you shoot a gun and giggle
turns me into compost.

Well let's hit the trail and finish up this silly little ballad,
then lay me down on the soggy ground and toss me like a salad.

Well honey let me be your lovin' swamp thing.
I'll even pose for pictures with your offspring.
I'll hold you in my branches,
and gaze into your eyes.
Then we'll go out into the sunshine
and photosynthesize.

I'll hold you in my branches,
and gaze into your eyes.
Then we'll go out into the sunshine
and photosynthesize.
(Yee-hah.)

posted by JHarris (11 comments total)

This is good, but I think my favorite will always be Party at the House on Haunted Hill.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:10 PM on August 19, 2022 [2 favorites]

Disappointed that they didn't mention eating a psychedelic yam.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:43 PM on August 19, 2022 [3 favorites]

Is this the place to discuss Danny’s Dental Date? I hope so, because I think this is what I’ll see immediately before I die instead of a nice lifetime highlight montage.
posted by dr_dank at 4:07 PM on August 19, 2022

I'm tempted to watch this, but I fear it will send me down one of my 1980s fixations. If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times.
They should have cast Heather Thomas, not Heather Locklear, dammit.

The film trailer is pun-tastic. "He's got a grudge, 'cause they turned him into sludge!"
posted by bartleby at 5:50 PM on August 19, 2022 [1 favorite]

The RiffTones can be my Swamp Thing any time.
posted by humbug at 6:47 PM on August 19, 2022 [2 favorites]

Still a fan of both Swamp Thing movies warts and all. Apparently T.R.O.S.T. was filmed in and around Savannah GA:
Sound Track re-release
posted by djseafood at 7:40 PM on August 19, 2022 [1 favorite]

This is good, but I think my favorite will always be Party at the House on Haunted Hill.

My favorite -- well, not Rifftrax but MST3K, and new MST3K at that -- is "Every Country has a Monster".
posted by gurple at 8:04 PM on August 19, 2022 [5 favorites]

Also, not a song, but densely-packed MST3K skit humor: Hybrid B Movies.
posted by gurple at 8:07 PM on August 19, 2022

This isn't their only recent foray into riffing on strange DC artifacts. As a follow-up to their riffs on the second Batman serial, they've begun riffing on the Captain Marvel (aka SHAZAM) serial, which features cultural ignorance and exotification, but nothing remotely close to the first Batman serial's cultural, well, shittiness. (That last link is to an article, thank god.)
posted by BiggerJ at 11:47 PM on August 19, 2022 [2 favorites]

Still a fan of both Swamp Thing movies warts and all.

Extremely same. I actually saw The Return of Swamp Thing in the theater, and loved every minute.
posted by MrBadExample at 10:52 AM on August 20, 2022 [1 favorite]

Well, if we're including MST3K, can anything ever top When I Held Your Brain in my Arms?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:29 PM on August 20, 2022 [1 favorite]