How Many Books Make a Place Feel Like Home?

August 21, 2022 11:38 AM

From In “The Private Library,” Mr. Byers goes to the heart of why physical books continue to beguile us. Individually, they are frequently useful or delightful, but it is when books are displayed en masse that they really work wonders. Covering the walls of a room, piled up to the ceiling and exuding the breath of generations, they nourish the senses, slay boredom and relieve distress.... Mr. Byers coined a term — “book-wrapt” — to describe the exhilarating comfort of a well-stocked library. The fusty spelling is no affectation, but an efficient packing of meaning into a tight space (which, when you think of it, also describes many libraries). To be surrounded by books is to be held rapt in an enchanted circle and to experience the rapture of being transported to other worlds. A written and visual tribute to home libraries by Julie Lasky in the New York Times (December 2021; non-paywall version without images here).
posted by Bella Donna (26 comments total)

> "How Many Books Make a Place Feel Like Home?"

About 2000, for me, as it turns out.
posted by kyrademon at 11:58 AM on August 21, 2022 [10 favorites]

I've had - and continue to be on - a bit of a journey with physical books.

For a long time I didn't have much space for myself, nor much money, so virtually all of my book-reading was via the library. And then there were some years of a lot of moving-around, which meant still not much space or money AND I had to pack/ship/move things, and the less of that the easier it was. Lots of personal psychological wrestling with how many things did I really need, and how many things I should have, or deserved to have.

I've been fairly stable in my current rental for a few years now, and have had some money, so I have added some physical books to my collection again.

Some are reference books, either from time in school or just for subjects that are interesting to me, that I want to learn more about.

Most, though, are pieces of me, a way to externalize chapters (hah) in my life. They exist as a kind of memento and reminder of things I went through. Some of the books are going to probably stay on those shelves for the rest of my life... but I've had some of those books before, and they aren't there now, as I looked at them more critically and decided, actually, there's more parts of that which don't represent me anymore, and I've internalized the parts I want to keep. Some of them I may never re-read, and as I'm looking over now, am seeing some books I think I'm ready to pass on.

It's like.. I'm not keeping the shelf of books to impress visitors, I'm maybe keeping the books to make an impression on myself. It's tough to hold a whole person in your mind at once, even when that person is you. Easier when I have some external tools to help.

On the article subject, I don't think I'd need more than one or two books for a place I lived to feel like my home, and that might just be a Kindle (or some other e-reader or tablet that's vaguely paperback-shaped). I think it's more the access to books that matters for me.
posted by curious nu at 12:04 PM on August 21, 2022 [18 favorites]

My house is full of books. I love going away and staying somewhere spare without a bookshelf in sight. And I love coming home to my library.
posted by gwint at 12:08 PM on August 21, 2022 [8 favorites]

Well, just from a purely architectural POV, an eight inch solid layer of material surrounding a room is going to deaden sound and vibration like woah. Libraries are also calming because they are so well insulated from the outside world physically.
posted by seanmpuckett at 1:33 PM on August 21, 2022 [22 favorites]

For me, at least one thousand books.

I do like "book-wrapt" as a term. I'm writing this right now from my office, with every wall lined, floor to ceiling, with the books.
posted by doctornemo at 2:04 PM on August 21, 2022 [7 favorites]

Visual impairment and allergy to book mold makes me keep fewer physical books in the house. On the plus side, my last move was easier than previous ones.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 2:22 PM on August 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

How Many Books Make a Place Feel Like Home?
Twenty books. Same as in town.
posted by bartleby at 2:26 PM on August 21, 2022 [23 favorites]

My “library” used to be mostly art and design books - picked up on sale, usually while browsing on a Sunday afternoon. As I've gotten deeper into woodworking over the last several years, I've been more actively seeking out books on technique and furniture history. It blows my mind how much it costs to get a hold of discontinued books…like a book on 18th century upholstery that came out in 2016 for $80 is now only available from a single re-seller for $1064. There have to be more copies out there but search engine results feel more truncated and opaque than they should be.

I guess this is only sort of adjacent to the topic at hand but I needed to vent.
posted by brachiopod at 3:27 PM on August 21, 2022 [7 favorites]

I love books, have owned thousands and have given away almost all of them to charity shops in the last few years. My degree was Eng Lit, and I still have some of the books from my coursework (all in boxes since we moved to a much smaller house, waiting for us to put up sufficient shelves to house the hundreds still left). I use a Kindle now and have done for years. It's easy, takes up less room obviously and is pretty soulless. But the one set of books I have kept in physical form and will never seek to get on Kindle are my poetry books. I just don't want them in any other format. A shelf of poetry books will make this house a proper home for me - I've had trouble adjusting after 25 years in the old place, but I have my newly reupholstered reading chair, a nook for it and some walls needing shelving.

Mr MMDP's nieces came to visit us many years ago and seeing the floor to ceiling bookshelves in the living room, one asked if our house was a library, which I rather liked.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 3:44 PM on August 21, 2022 [7 favorites]

I used to hope for a large enough library that I could justify installing one of those wonderful ladders on wheels and a track. More recently, we culled our collection from 7 Billy full height shelves to less than 2. We'd been doing some renovating and the collection was feeling like a hassle, plus we had a ton of kids' books and our kids are grown now.

We sent a boatload of the kids' books to the library at the middle school where my sister teaches. The rest of our remainders, we put on a couple of folding tables in our town square on a nice autumn day, with big signs encouraging people to take what they wished. I drove by just after lunch and the square was full of people reading books, which was such a joy.
posted by sockshaveholes at 5:24 PM on August 21, 2022 [7 favorites]

This is not a contest, I am just confessing to my lifelong passion. Around 3,800. Almost all of them out and accessible in a one bedroom apartment, where they line the walls on Intermetro racks. There is no wandering path through piles of books. I have my floors free of books except for the three or four on the floor next to my bed in the reading pile. And yes, it is a library. I grew up from around kindergarten on, going to the public library at least once a week, until the plague started. And over the years, primarily through used book stores, and library fund raising sales I went searching for books either intentionally or through serendipity. Just yesterday I found one of my intentional books, the Flower Ornament Sutra, 1600 page single volume. In some sense I am a collector, but not first editions, I get books because of what they contain. I do read most of the books I have, and the thing I love is that a book I’m reading may reference another book, and I can get up, walk maybe 15 feet, and pull the referenced book off the shelf. And I can’t seriously read from a screen, just don’t like it, so physical books for me.

Do you remember that cartoon joke with a small tent in the desert, where you go inside to find out that inside is huge! A book is truly like that. Inside something you can hold with one hand can exist galaxies, ancient cultures, people dead for hundreds, thousands of years who can still speak to you. And more… I sit here looking at my books knowing that they contain immensity.
posted by njohnson23 at 5:37 PM on August 21, 2022 [11 favorites]

It blows my mind how much it costs to get a hold of discontinued books…like a book on 18th century upholstery that came out in 2016 for $80 is now only available from a single re-seller for $1064. There have to be more copies out there but search engine results feel more truncated and opaque than they should be.

Low Demand/Low Volume obscure books used to be really cheap. Until Bots on Amazon bidding against each other drove prices up like insane/crazy. Which is a flaw in the system. Which Amazon won't do anything about because they don't care.
posted by ovvl at 5:58 PM on August 21, 2022 [6 favorites]

How Many Books Make a Place Feel Like Home?

I am edging close to the 9K mark. Unfortunately, my habit of cleaning out the shelves every year has now led to a situation in which I...have already given away pretty much everything I don't want to keep, actually.

Besides, I like my books! They're very comforting. (My campus also doesn't have a research library, so I can do much of my work by just going over to my shelves.)

Well, just from a purely architectural POV, an eight inch solid layer of material surrounding a room is going to deaden sound and vibration like woah. Libraries are also calming because they are so well insulated from the outside world physically.

They also do a number on WiFi. The only active point in my house is at the very end of the (c. 20 foot) library, and my provider didn't believe me when I told them I had no reception outside the room, even using extenders. Then they came over and said, "Ah."
posted by thomas j wise at 7:14 PM on August 21, 2022 [8 favorites]

We only have a few Billys worth of books, but they’re in our main living space, they’re overflowing, and I hate seeing the spines of books I don’t love (e.g. I’m in a bookstore and “oh I heard that was good” but it actually wasn’t good, not really). I know I’ve read enough really good books (say, from the library) to fill those shelves, so why am I settling for less? We’ll need to cull at some point, but as a stopgap I’ve instituted a hardline policy of “don’t buy a book unless you already know you love it” and tbh so far it’s made me a lot happier. I have a little stack of this year’s purchases and it gleams like gold.
posted by TangoCharlie at 9:21 PM on August 21, 2022 [4 favorites]

A friend gave me the perfect wording for TangoCharlie's policy: she auditions books first, only buys them if they are must-haves after reading them.

Since my local public library is great but not huge, I sometimes audition by buying a copy and then setting it free. But it's still an audition.
(This has helped with regard to new books. I have a backlog to handle, somehow. Someday.)
posted by Shunra at 10:27 PM on August 21, 2022 [3 favorites]

A book is truly like that. Inside something you can hold with one hand can exist galaxies, ancient cultures, people dead for hundreds, thousands of years who can still speak to you. And more… I sit here looking at my books knowing that they contain immensity.

Quoted for truth, njohnson23. Thank you so much for your comment. I grew up poor, with a single mom who had little education but a great hunger for books. When she was still healthy, we went to the library together. Later, when I was maybe 12, I went to the library for both of us. Mostly to get what folks call, with derision, escapist novels. (I suppose that attitude comes easily if one has never needed to escape.)

When I was in high school, I went over to my best friend's home one afternoon and discovered that she had started a personal library. It was in a box under her bed. Paperbacks! She had maybe 10 at the time and added to the stash whenever she could. I was so jealous. It had never occurred to me that I could actually own books. My own books! My own library!

In a thrift store soon after I found a volume of Sherlock Holmes stories. The cover was falling off. The book had been printed more than 100 years before, which was amazing. That was the first book I ever bought. Took it home, sewed a fabric cover for it, and dived into the stories head first.

This thought is not original but it is still true: A good book will take you on a journey from whatever hardship you may be facing into an entirely new world, and not always a comfortable one. That is a mighty power, the only form of magic that has ever actually worked for me. Sadly, that magic isn't available to everyone. My kid, for example, is unmoved by books. That is just how they are built. It isn't a flaw, simply a trait.

I am different. Books were a form of nourishment and salvation when I was young. They continue to nourish me in my old age. That makes me a lucky person indeed.
posted by Bella Donna at 12:50 AM on August 22, 2022 [14 favorites]

Oh hi. I lost count of my books because in 2020 Mr Otter_Handler and I bought approximately 12,000 books and the barn they are housed in and added them to our own robust collection. I officially have too many books, I think, for a personal library.

But I do agree that they make a great soundproofing material, and fantasize about forming a band to play in my barn. I have a very cool adult playhouse!
posted by Otter_Handler at 8:14 AM on August 22, 2022 [5 favorites]

I have this dream of a breakfast room, a small round-ish room with french doors leading to a covered patio. All the walls of this room are floor to ceiling bookshelves. There is a round table, a couple of chairs, and another comfy chair, lamp, and table in this room. Otherwise it's all books, the view, having breakfast over books (I don't eat breakfast, but this is a dream after all) and then sinking into the comfy chair with a book and a snack and a beverage and a cat. Somebody checks on my snack & beverage levels occasionally, and to make sure I've not physically melded to the furnishings.

Thanks for the phrase "audition" books; I've been doing this for a long while. Being able to order nearly any book from the library (especially newer ones) gives me a nice fresh supply of other worlds.

If it wasn't for Covid, money, employment, etc., I'd really like to schedule a Visit A MeFite Library Tour with everyone on this thread. I'd bring appropriate snacks, of course.
posted by winesong at 9:45 AM on August 22, 2022 [5 favorites]

Several hundred books, at least. I did a pretty thorough paring down, actually took everything off the shelves and only put back the books I loved. So now I have a still pretty big library, but full of books I love. Every now and then I'll get rid of a book I'm not as fond of anymore and I definitely still buy books that I've read a few times and love enough to own. (Sometimes only once if it's an author I already love.) But having a ton of loved books around really is great. There are a lot of nights I'll wander in and scan the shelves until I find what I'm in the mood for, even if I have new library books. I just love my books.
posted by blueberry monster at 10:01 AM on August 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

We moved into this house on Jan 1, 2020 and had some fantastic shelves built in the "formal living room" right as the world shut down. I painted the room a moody charcoal and we spent a fantastic few weekends touching and sorting every single book we own onto those shelves. There's not a day that passes without spending some amount of time in that room. I love every inch of it.
posted by ersatzkat at 10:19 AM on August 22, 2022 [3 favorites]

How many books? It is a complex equation - as many books you can pack into boxes and carry into your friend's van in the 4 hour window that you have to borrow it divided by the amount of space you have to put them in your new apartment (piling them on the floor in stacks of 3 dozen is acceptable). If that amount is equal or less than the total amount you can't part with then double that answer.
posted by Ashwagandha at 10:53 AM on August 22, 2022 [3 favorites]

Otter_Handler, how do you keep them dry? I tried something like this and lost a lot of books. (Not rain. Seasonal damp.)
posted by clew at 10:59 AM on August 22, 2022 [1 favorite]

Clew, the barn has a really good roof but yeah, I am very aware that these books are subjected to less than ideal conditions...some considerations:

1. Although there can be ambient moisture in the book display floor of the barn (it was set up to be a rustic, 3-season used book store), we also have sub-freezing temperatures throughout the winter pretty consistently, so active mold/mildew spores are killed, I think;
2. These are USED, old books, mainly, and I accept that they will not stay pristine. There are signed and antique books in the collection that I keep in the much-better-environmentally-regulated house;
3. A LOT of these books are still in boxes I haven't looked through yet, so I'm still discovering what I have;
4. I will probably wish I had a dumpster once I really get a chance to sort through it all. I'm a librarian and a ruthless weeder.
5. I would LOVE to be on a metafilter book collection tour.
posted by Otter_Handler at 1:20 PM on August 22, 2022 [6 favorites]

I need warning if we’re having mefites over to look at the shelves - gotta turn them all fore-edges out for the occasion.
posted by clew at 1:24 PM on August 22, 2022 [2 favorites]

I love reading everyone's comments, as they are much better organized than mine. I especially echo njohnson23 and Bella Donna. Books were a fantastic escape for the eldest child of a single mom with self esteem issues. (me, not my mom). One of my first purchases was a battered paperback copy of "Watership Down", found at a yard sale when I was 12. I still have it, even though I am now in my mid 50s. And a 100 year old edition of Charles Dickens "David Copperfield", at yet another yard sale, began my obsession with very old books.

I don't know how many I have. I was going to categorize them, and got to 300 just in my living room. That doesn't count the ones in my bedroom, the hall by my sons rooms, the ones stored in the shed. It probably isn't 1000, but it is probably close. My books enchant me, inform me, intrigue me. Because so many are so old, I can't bear the idea to part with them, ever.

In bad times in my life, my books never betrayed me or let me down. And they never left. I can't abandon them, either.
posted by annieb at 3:37 PM on August 22, 2022 [4 favorites]

When I was little, there was a charity shop nearby that sold big "mystery boxes" of used books for a dollar. Even my confirmed cheapskate father was happy to splash out a dollar on a new box when we'd gotten through the last one. You never knew what you'd get, and I'll always be grateful to Mom and Dad for not trying to censor or meddle with what we read. Sure, I stumbled across stuff that was really too mature for me, but I'd just revisit it when I was older and then it would make sense.

(The only negative memory I have is of my older sister chasing me around the house with a copy of Stephen King's Night Shift because she knew I was scared of the image on the cover.)
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:37 PM on August 22, 2022 [2 favorites]