The Queue
September 15, 2022 7:44 AM   Subscribe

 




I was just saying how I was taken aback that it’s not even an open casket. I figured they wanted to see her face, which I could at least understand
posted by Countess Elena at 7:57 AM on September 15, 2022 [5 favorites]


See, there's the germ of an idea! They could have a dozen or so identical caskets set up around town, and make it clear that the Queen is going to be in one of them, although perhaps not the specific casket you get to see. You'll never know that you did see the Queen's casket, but you'll never know that you didn't, either! Shorter queues, and you still have a tale to tell the kiddies.

what's in the other boxes? that's a state secret.
posted by phooky at 8:02 AM on September 15, 2022 [72 favorites]


Or you could do what they used to do with saints, divide her body into a number of relics and distribute them so that everyone gets to make a pilgrimage to one.
posted by acb at 8:04 AM on September 15, 2022 [41 favorites]


I improved my live viewing experience a thousand fold by adding a quintessentially British ingredient; Yakety Sax.

If only there were some way to speed up the footage...
posted by Molesome at 8:04 AM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]




Oh come one... waiting a few hours is nothing. Just think how long charles had to wait..
posted by DreamerFi at 8:08 AM on September 15, 2022 [22 favorites]




It is a little disheartening to see the BBC once again plugging the venture capital funded What3Words instead of the vastly superior and less litigious MapCode.com
posted by Lanark at 8:13 AM on September 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


What3Words seemed like a good idea on paper but when you find up with locators like this, it might be time to reconsider.
posted by JoeZydeco at 8:20 AM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


what's in the other boxes? that's a state secret.

Hell, if you just said each of them had one of her old corgis in it, people would still line up.
posted by Etrigan at 8:20 AM on September 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


Especially since W3W, other than just being an aspiring monopolist, is also seriously flawed as a service. In short: its entire point is to encourage people to read out or write down locations as three words, which can be misspelled or misheard; there is no error correction or detection mechanism and two homophonous locations can be arbitrarily long distances away. (One Queue endpoint was given as a W3W code located somewhere near Bradford, IIRC.)
posted by acb at 8:21 AM on September 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


what's in the other boxes? that's a state secret.

If we're already making human sacrifices to ease her passage to the afterlife, we might as well not waste them.
posted by acb at 8:22 AM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


A twitter user in a different thread about the queue pointed out that its legion were sleeping rough, in the rain, to hold their spaces over night, while the people experiencing homelessness who normally look for shelter on the street had been rousted from the vicinity to "improve" the optics.
posted by carmicha at 8:24 AM on September 15, 2022 [20 favorites]


You'll never know that you did see the Queen's casket, but you'll never know that you didn't, either!

Schrödinger's monarch
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:24 AM on September 15, 2022 [14 favorites]


what's in the other boxes? that's a state secret.

Put Christ's remains in one of them without telling anybody, then reveal it three years later when the monarchy needs a ratings boost.
posted by Tom Hanks Cannot Be Trusted at 8:24 AM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


It reminds me of the wonderful description of the queue in Penelope Fitzgerald's The Golden Child:
Waring had taken up his stance only for a few moments when others closed in behind him. He was surrounded and accepted, and on both sides people began to talk to him, in the glow of shared endurance. He was told that he was lucky today, there was only three-and-three-quarters hours wait. However did they arrive at such exact figures? The length of time waited was, it soon emerged, an important part of the experience of seeing the Treasure. Some, indeed it seemed to Waring most, of the queuers had seen the Exhibition several times -- anything up to twenty. One woman, not at all strong-looking, and accompanied by several children, had seen it every day since it opened.
posted by verstegan at 8:25 AM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


two homophonous locations can be arbitrarily long distances away

Generally that is what you want if for some reason you have to have homophones in your scheme. If FooBarBrake is within a few blocks of FooBarBreak it is a lot less obvious which is which in context than if they are in seperate countries.
posted by Mitheral at 8:33 AM on September 15, 2022


My parents stood in line for a night and a day to see Tutankhamun's treasures, which it says The Golden Child was referring to. According to my mom, it was worth it. I was totally willing to do the same to see a Tutankhamun tour that was supposed to happen in 2020, but, well.

For as long as this event was anticipated, you would think someone on the staff could have had a consult with Disney engineers about how to manage people waiting in lines. Viewing tickets could have been handled months ago on the website with the ruthless efficiency of a Disney mom wanting to get her kids into Pandora.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:39 AM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


It's not even direct homophones that are the problem, as they can be filtered out. Pairs like, say, place and plate or recur and refer are easy enough to mistake over the phone, and other pairs can be mistaken when written down or mistyped/autocorrected. The whole concept of using common words without huge moats of distance between them in several dimensions (phonetic, alphabetic morphology, QWERTY) is inherently a liability.
posted by acb at 8:41 AM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


"NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD JOIN THE QUEUE AND YET STILL THEY COME. "Oh, it'll only be until 6am on Thursday, we can take soup".

I'm interested in monarchy and even I wouldn't slog about through that. I just hope to watch the later stream of the funeral or something later on and fast forward if anything gets mildly interesting.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:42 AM on September 15, 2022


Countess Elena Open casket funerals are much less common in Great Britain than in the US, and especially so for the upper-classes. Not The Done Thing.
posted by Ideefixe at 8:44 AM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Yes, open-casket is very much not a thing in the UK; I've always found it a somewhat horrifying concept.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 8:50 AM on September 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


It is a little disheartening to see the BBC once again plugging the venture capital funded What3Words instead of the vastly superior and less litigious MapCode.com

I believe the W3W Codes are coming from the Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport.

Chris Stokel-Walker:
For those keeping track, DCMS has published seven What3Words locations for where the queue to see the Queen in state ends to date. Only four of them have been correct
posted by zamboni at 8:53 AM on September 15, 2022 [7 favorites]


They're improving since Dorries left then.
posted by biffa at 8:55 AM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


Yes closed casket, although it's probably the closest most people will ever get to the Imperial State Crown, which has got to be prettier. Also, as a bonus, you might see one of the guards faint.
posted by plonkee at 9:01 AM on September 15, 2022


If I can't poke at a famous dead lady with a stick, I ain't interested
posted by Kitteh at 9:04 AM on September 15, 2022 [29 favorites]


Dating, and then marrying, a mortician has been a learning experience for me to say the least. One of those is the distinction between a coffin and a casket: if it's shaped like two trapezoids, and looks like it's well earned the nickname "toe-pincher", it's a coffin. If it looks like an elaborate rectangle and not half overbuilt, it's a casket.

Nowadays almost everyone uses caskets and the word "coffin" is only around in the culture and history a bit. So when the BBC kept referring to the late Queen's coffin, I thought perhaps they use different terminology over there or maybe someone's made a misidentification?

But no! One angle showed very clearly that she is in fact in a true coffin. I don't know why, could be her son's environmentalist leanings (nowadays actual coffins tend to be part of green-burial designs) or it could be a legacy practice embodying something traditional that the royal family is just still doing it their own way.
posted by traveler_ at 9:31 AM on September 15, 2022 [22 favorites]


My sister has been watching the livestream and we've been chatting about how puzzling it is that so many of the people who've queued for miles and hours then walk past the coffin swiftly, some without even really pausing or looking or engaging with the thing they waited such a long time to do.

The only plausible conclusion we've come to is that some people desperately want to be Part Of History, to be able to say they were there, but they don't actually care that much about the history they want to be Part Of, or have any particularly strong emotions about being there except for the bragging rights it confers on them.

Either that or the siren song of the Big Queue was irresistable, regardless of their actual feelings about the former monarch.
posted by terretu at 9:31 AM on September 15, 2022 [18 favorites]


All of this is eerily reminiscent of Sergei Loznitsa's film State Funeral.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:57 AM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Getting to be in a really good queue is its own reward. Eg lining up for the new iPhone was mostly about being in the queue, not getting an iPhone a little bit earlier.
posted by BungaDunga at 9:59 AM on September 15, 2022 [5 favorites]


One angle showed very clearly that she is in fact in a true coffin. I don't know why, could be her son's environmentalist leanings (nowadays actual coffins tend to be part of green-burial designs) or it could be a legacy practice embodying something traditional that the royal family is just still doing it their own way.

Not at all. The traditional coffin is the norm in the UK. American-style caskets are available at some funeral homes but I've only ever seen them in the windows of undertakers in areas where there is a large Afro-Caribbean or African population, for example, the Co-Op (since closed) in Walthamstow, NE London, where there are a fair number of Evangelical African churches with large congregations. It's really unusual to have coffins and caskets on display in the window in the UK. Here's the Co-op in Highams Park, about 2 miles from Walthamstow, which is how the majority of funeral directors look in the UK, with nothing on display, everything in private, behind closed blinds, as is the British way.
posted by essexjan at 10:10 AM on September 15, 2022 [19 favorites]


Whenever the subject of a queue comes up, I always think of Lucky waiting in line for Brownsville Station tickets and The Code of the Line from the “Hank Fixes Everything” episode of King of the Hill.
posted by ob1quixote at 10:16 AM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


It's astounding in this day and age that they can't do an electronic queue so people can come without standing in a line for 30 hours. I know that would only increase the numbers, but that's something you can cap.

I really think someone nailed it in the other thread - this is about optics. Someone, somewhere, knows that the outpouring for Diana was huge and sincere, so this needs to be HUGE-R even if that has to be manufactured.

Can anyone trace how many of those flowers and Paddingtons left outside the various palaces were paid for by Windsor Inc.?
posted by Mchelly at 10:27 AM on September 15, 2022 [7 favorites]


On Twitter:
BabelColour
@StuartHumphryes
"I have edited together for you some rare colour film footage of the queues and London crowds for the Lying In State and funeral procession of King George VI in February 1952. Events, just as today, separated by 70 years.
(This is not colourised)"
posted by indexy at 10:43 AM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


Hell, if you just said each of them had one of her old corgis in it, people would still line up.

Assuming these are live corgis, where does this queue form? I would totally stand in line for a few days to pet some really cute corgis.

Also could you imagine how excited a corgi or any happy extroverted dog would be to get that much attention and a few hundred thousand scritches and "good dog!" praises?

Let's make this happen. I want to see some good dogs have a happy meltdown.

My housemate has a huge floof of a Tibetan mastiff that is super chill with a great big smile, and he absolutely loses his fucking mind in the best way when he gets a bunch of attention and there's a large group of people all wanting to pet him and say hello. He absolutely wallows in it and turns into a big furry puddle when there's several people trying to pet him at the same time. It's absolutely glorious.

And apparently he heard me talking about him because here he is looking for a pet and a treat, which is making it really hard to type or drink coffee because he keeps shoving his giant muppet head under my elbow and trying to burrow into my lap.

Good doggo.
posted by loquacious at 11:01 AM on September 15, 2022 [29 favorites]


Getting to be in a really good queue is its own reward.

Well this may have replaced the second most alarmingly and acutely British thing I've ever read, as per the old thread.
posted by loquacious at 11:03 AM on September 15, 2022 [16 favorites]


It's astounding in this day and age that they can't do an electronic queue so people can come without standing in a line for 30 hours. I know that would only increase the numbers, but that's something you can cap.

People would have formed an unsanctioned queue anyway.

One day recently I saw a bunch of people camped out for multiple blocks. I had no idea what they could have been lined up for- no stores, no theaters or concert venues in sight. Eventually I realized they were camping out to apply for a union apprenticeship. The application form specifically states that you don't need to line up and being first in the door won't advantage you. But people camped out on the sidewalk for like three nights over a weekend. They seemed to be having a good time though.

Some people just want to be part of something.
posted by BungaDunga at 11:12 AM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Can anyone trace how many of those flowers and Paddingtons left outside the various palaces were paid for by Windsor Inc.?
Absolutely none. There's no need to artificially make it look bigger; it already is.
posted by Inanna at 11:12 AM on September 15, 2022 [6 favorites]


oooh that queue-jumper story from garius is 14 years old and still evergreen.
posted by spamandkimchi at 11:19 AM on September 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


Also, as a bonus, you might see one of the guards faint.

Already happened; the BBC stream cut off while they dealt with it.

Live queue tracker here; it's currently at 4.9 miles.

Have the cam on in the background during work. Lots of very touching moments, people in uniform saluting, etc. I briefly turned it on last night while at home, at 3 a.m. London time, and it was still going strong.
posted by Melismata at 11:23 AM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


This is all playing out exactly like any British sitcom would portray it. The thing about partnering with What 3 Words and having it be a broken mess is definitely right out of Yes Prime Minister.

It's like, every time I think I've heard the weirdest thing I will ever hear, now I have to contend with a voluntary, sleepless nightmare march, mindlessly, silently trudging for hours in the dark, not even to honor the dead queen but merely to bear witness to the crowd, while doing this directly next to a huge number of people who couldn't afford to live inside. It's like why does everything have to be so bizarre all the time. When are things going to settle down.
posted by bleep at 11:32 AM on September 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


I confess - I have accidentally started a queue when a friend and I were standing outside a random shop door in London browsing our phones (we were waiting for another friend). Look up, and there's like 6 people in line behind us. We apologised and quickly hurried off.

Other nationalities queue in order to get something, or out of necessity, or because it's required. The British are trained from a young age to see queueing politely to be the very epitome of Britishness. Those who cut-in or queue jump will receive such looks that they should combust from the sheer shame. We might even tut to our new queue friends and neighbours - one of the few ways not involving alcohol to actually make firm, but temporary friends with strangers.

Many of us see a queue, and we feel a primal urge to join it, regardless of what it's actually for or where it goes. It's a queue. That's enough. We will literally form spontaneous queues at airports even when strictly instructed not to. A miles long queue in the heart of London that takes 8 hours to get to the front of? An excuse to bring a flask of luke warm tea and some sandwiches! Sure, *some* people will say they're there because they want to have Been There to see off the Queen, but deep down, it was being part of the queue that really mattered. That story, of being in *that* queue... that will be part of family history for many years to come.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 11:34 AM on September 15, 2022 [24 favorites]


When are things going to settle down.
posted by bleep


Quoth the raven, Nevermore.
posted by Splunge at 11:44 AM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


That is a most impressive queue.

If this was in Germany tho, they'd line it up next to a river so people could throw each other into the waters for line hopping.
posted by flamewise at 11:44 AM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Here's Ian Visits describing his overnight experience of The Queue. I can understand why someone might want to be a part of it: it almost doesn't matter what it's a queue *for*; at that scale, it's an end in itself.

(Yes, "an end in itself" is a peculiarly terrible way to describe a queue, but my brain is tired and can't seem to come up with a better way of putting it.)
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 11:58 AM on September 15, 2022 [11 favorites]


*I meant The Thick of It not Yes Minister
posted by bleep at 12:12 PM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


It must be genetic. It's been several hundred years since anyone in my family could be described as British rather than American but if I was in London I would totally join the Queue. I don't even have any strong feelings about the monarchy - I feel, vaguely, as if it should probably go where ever old royalty goes, possibly Monaco - but I see the appeal of being part of a large and mostly orderly, mostly silent crowd. There's something to be said for standing witness and being able to say, many years letter: yes, I was there, I did that thing.
posted by mygothlaundry at 12:17 PM on September 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


A golden opportunity for some enterprising types to do what they used to do in the Soviet bread lines. Queue up, then sell your place at the front when you arrive for serious cash.
posted by Tarn at 12:39 PM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


Surprised no one in this thread has mentioned Vladimir Sorokin's novel The Queue!
posted by derrinyet at 12:39 PM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]


"When I have my funeral, I want it to be a closed casket. So people will think my body is in there...

But it won't be!

I want to have my body fall down on wires, and swing out over my family. Dude, how sweet would that be? Then hit out the lights and hit it with a strobe light, and then techno music. Just, unce unce unce"
posted by Windopaene at 12:44 PM on September 15, 2022 [9 favorites]


Queues are definitely an important social construct that I appreciate and follow but I will also try to avoid them if possible because they are such a waste of time and usually there's a better way if the people organizing things could be bothered. You want to go out for lunch at this place with a long lineup? How about we go to this other place two doors down where the food is almost as good and we can be in and out before we would have made it halfway through the queue. The worst was getting passports for my kids this spring/summer. I had to wait in line 3 times wasting a morning each time and finally had to camp out at the passport office from 4am 2 days before they were scheduled to fly out. And then when they were ready to be picked up my wife had to wait for 2 hours even though they had already given her a specific time to be there. This multiplied by all of the people that had to do similar points to a huge waste of people's time.
posted by any portmanteau in a storm at 1:11 PM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Where they go one, they go all...

It's Queue-anon! Andon, andon, andon...
posted by chavenet at 1:32 PM on September 15, 2022 [5 favorites]


Queuing has become a common San Francisco thing too, to the extent that I’ve written a song about it:

🎶 This is the line that doesn’t end
It just goes on and on my friend
Some hipster started standing there not knowing what it was
And they’ll continue standing there forever just because…
(Repeat) 🎶
posted by sjswitzer at 1:46 PM on September 15, 2022 [3 favorites]




I think it’s awesome. People coming together to have a joint experience in service of something. Might it be silly or over the top? Welcome to reality. Have a cup of tea and relax.
posted by Galvanic at 3:39 PM on September 15, 2022 [5 favorites]


I, personally, hate this Pagentry of Grief.

But, I can also empathise with those who say they need it.
posted by Faintdreams at 4:03 PM on September 15, 2022 [1 favorite]


My friend Tom suggested it would be much more efficient to wheel the Queen down the line.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 4:13 PM on September 15, 2022 [42 favorites]


I've no interest in seeing the coffin but I have seen the queue. Yesterday late evening (the First Evening of the Queue) I walked home parallel to the queue on the other side of the street; from Albert Embankment, across Lambeth Bridge, along Millbank to Parliament Square. I found the experience unsettling. It wasn't until I passed some civil servants on Whitehall that I understood why. "It's so quiet" one remarked. "I've never known it so quiet." This is what had unsettled me: I had seen but not heard the queue. I had passed hundreds of people standing in silence.
posted by boudicca at 5:11 PM on September 15, 2022 [18 favorites]


My parents stood in line for a night and a day to see Tutankhamun's treasures, which it says The Golden Child was referring to. According to my mom, it was worth it.

While not waiting in any line so long -- my girlfriend was an employee of Seattle Art Museum then, for one -- and in fact recalling no such line at all, it naturally exceeded expectations. But my favorite memory thereof was when Jayne and I stood behind an older couple staring at a straight backed wooden chair fresh from 2000+ years in the vault and hear the guy say "Welp, they don't make them to last like that anymore..."
posted by y2karl at 6:47 PM on September 15, 2022 [11 favorites]


My friend Tom suggested it would be much more efficient to wheel the Queen down the line.

Wheels? Why not rockets or a pulse jet engine like a V1 buzzbomb?

Line everyone up on the emergency lane of one of London's orbitals and let 'er rip like a line controlled model car like this and a million people can view the coffin about a hundred times in just a few seconds!

Come on, Great Britain! You can do it with your engineering supremacy! You still hold the world speed land record with Thrust SSC!
posted by loquacious at 7:58 PM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


God forbid if re-entry is in Brixton.
posted by clavdivs at 8:29 PM on September 15, 2022 [2 favorites]


Maybe she left a fun pre-recorded message for the mourners?

A question about local queueing habits:
Are people chatting? Sharing remembrances? Passing along a bag of Werther's for sustenance at least?

Or did someone mumble an awkward 'Hm, lot of weather we've been having lately' early yesterday and received nothing but glares, leading to 2 days of nothing but the occasional cough?
posted by bartleby at 8:31 PM on September 15, 2022 [4 favorites]


Washington Post: The British love queues. The queen’s death brought one for the ages.
In line for the queen, people formed little queuing families. As they hours stretched on, they banded together and offered comfort. They shared biscuits and tea and, sometimes, stronger drinks. Strangers who would normally never talk to each other in public situations were suddenly fiercely loyal. If you needed to use the toilet — there were portable “loos”; this was a well-planned queue, after all — then your queuing family held your place in line.
Everyone had a story about the queen: about times they saw her or met her or received a medal from her or had her as a boss. Surveys show that about a third of Britons met or saw the queen in person during her 70-year reign.
“The queen personally put this around my neck. It was a magic moment,” said Wight, the philosopher of queues, about his Royal Victorian Order medal for raising millions for charity. “I really want to come and say goodbye to her, with all these people here. … I’d stay here for 30 hours if I had to.”

The queen queue has become a thing of its own. This isn’t the “mother of all queues” — that title can be retired. This is “The Queue.”
“I don’t particularly care either way about the Queen. But the queue? The Queue is a triumph of Britishness. It’s incredible,” wrote one social media user in a post that went viral. #QueueForTheQueen was trending on social media.
"It’s 1am and I asked this British man to explain “The Queue” to me. After this impassioned speech, the crowd broke into applause."
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:16 PM on September 15, 2022 [10 favorites]


One wag on twitter suggested The Queue should be called the Elizabeth Line.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 12:12 AM on September 16, 2022 [9 favorites]


Queue = Queeu

Coincidence? I don't think so.
posted by chavenet at 12:30 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


This American isn't the only one to note similarities between British culture and Japanese culture. Here in Japan there is a similar reverence for The Queue. Years ago I went to Tokyo Disneyland. I don't know if they are still there, but the park had (a very few number of) carts selling popcorn. It's this Winnie-the-Poo honey popcorn and if you're even remotely close it smells amazing and you just wanna buy some.

But only if you are willing to wait. There is a queue for this popcorn and the line is outrageously long. IIRC each cart had just one staff member working, so the line moved very slowly. I'm talking about an hour just to get some popcorn. But people lined up and waited. Me, the impatient American, couldn't be bothered. But queueing up is a kind of unofficial pastime in Japan.
posted by zardoz at 12:42 AM on September 16, 2022


Has anybody observed overseas Queues forming for British expatriates not wanting to be left out of this historical moment? Because that would take this to the next level of Ballardian absurdity.
posted by acb at 1:32 AM on September 16, 2022 [8 favorites]


Or you could do what they used to do with saints, divide her body into a number of relics and distribute them so that everyone gets to make a pilgrimage to one.

With consent, naturally, we could have kept her cell line going.

This would help distribute royalty on a needs-based basis and better address underserved sectors.
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:30 AM on September 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


A professor of queuing gives his take in the Guardian. It's one of the more thoughtful things that's been written about The Queue.
posted by tavegyl at 2:43 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


The Queue is currently at capacity and is closed to new joiners. The BBC reckons it'll be at least six hours before anyone else is allowed to join it.
posted by essexjan at 3:26 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


The Queue: The Musical (TikTok).
posted by terretu at 4:14 AM on September 16, 2022 [5 favorites]


I remember reading a story about an apocryphal tale in the USSR during the 70s. A foreign reporter tried an experiment and just started waiting at a random closed door. Soon there was a long line behind him, with the justification being that if there was a line, there was something worth lining up for and it was in limited amounts.

Seeing all the mentions of feeling obliged to queue when there was one made me think of the soviet bread lines. I wonder how similar the feelings behind each are.
posted by Hactar at 5:42 AM on September 16, 2022 [4 favorites]


Prospect of queue to join queue as Queen mourners told capacity reached
posted by BungaDunga at 5:49 AM on September 16, 2022 [7 favorites]


This quote from the article BungaDunga linked to above contains what must surely now join loquacious' list of The Most British Things People Have Said:

Charlie Cummins, 64, was the first to be turned away. The online language teacher who was visiting the UK from Brazil said: “If I’d know it was closing I wouldn’t have gone to Sainsbury’s. I really wish I hadn’t now.”

posted by essexjan at 6:17 AM on September 16, 2022 [7 favorites]


I hope somebody builds a tiny diorama of the coffin lying in state, with a peephole covered by a velvet curtain, and asks people to stand in line for thirty seconds for a chance to take a look. Over the entrance to the tiny queue you'd erect a bright orange sign that reads "GET IT OVER WITH, £2". Maybe it can be the same person who was selling eggs to lob at the statue of Margaret Thatcher.
posted by phooky at 7:05 AM on September 16, 2022 [3 favorites]




Kelly Farias, 37, made it through shortly before the gates were closed for the first time.

Farias, who is 32 weeks pregnant, was prepared to endure the long wait having made it through. “I thought we wouldn’t get in,” she said, eager to keep walking and not lose her spot. “I’m here with my mum who really loves the Queen.”
32 weeks! How many babies will be born in the queue
posted by dis_integration at 7:21 AM on September 16, 2022 [6 favorites]


32 weeks! How many babies will be born in the queue

I've been wondering how many people are going to die in The Queue.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:25 AM on September 16, 2022 [19 favorites]


So the queue is paused. Earlier I read that it could "be as much as 10 miles long," but yesterday it seemed to be consistently only around 5 miles. Perhaps the 10-mile thing was a wild estimate by the wild British media?

Also, queue is the absolute perfect word in playing hangman.
posted by Melismata at 7:50 AM on September 16, 2022 [2 favorites]




Oh, so it got to be more than 10 miles?? Wow!
posted by Melismata at 8:00 AM on September 16, 2022


Surely if demand was so great, they could extend it into the Sir Nigel Farage Memorial Lorry Park in Kent.
posted by acb at 8:01 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


Also, queue is the absolute perfect word in playing hangman.

If you want to lose friends and don’t have the time to spend on Diplomacy.
posted by Etrigan at 8:04 AM on September 16, 2022 [5 favorites]


Wait, that article is still not clear. It says "The queue is about five miles long, stretching to Southwark Park and is currently at capacity. It has now been paused for at least six hours and government has advised people not to attempt to join it until it re-opens. ... The maximum length the queue can be is 10 miles - with 6.9 miles from Westminster to Southwark, and a three-mile zigzag queue in Southwark Park."

So is the five miles as the crow flies?
posted by Melismata at 8:05 AM on September 16, 2022


So is the five miles as the crow flies?

If you look at the map, the 5.9 miles is along the river, but the zig-zaggy bits at the start and end add to it - three miles at Southwark and a further mile once you get near Westminster.
posted by essexjan at 8:15 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


That makes sense, thanks essexjan!
posted by Melismata at 8:30 AM on September 16, 2022


I’ve come up with an interim solution to the queuing issue to see the Queen’s coffin in Westminster, let me know what you think, it’s not perfect but I don’t see anyone else coming up with anything

laughed IRL at this
posted by Countess Elena at 8:58 AM on September 16, 2022


*John de Lancie enters the chat*

...

*John de Lancie, realizing it is the wrong chat, leaves the chat*
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:02 AM on September 16, 2022 [21 favorites]


I'm so fascinated by this. Will they delay the funeral so everyone can get a look? How would it feel to be the last person on the queue? Are people looking at a box, walking five miles, and getting right back on the queue? I feel like I can't tear myself away from this thread. Is this thread part of the queue? What is even happening?
posted by phooky at 9:08 AM on September 16, 2022 [4 favorites]


(Has any British monarch ever gone full Lenin and been put on display? Or full Bentham, and demanded a postmortem seat in the house of lords or something? Could they?)
posted by phooky at 9:09 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


I suppose that would be one way to answer the question of what we do about the House of Lords: allow it to fill up slowly but inexorably with the grinning ranks of the noble dead.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 9:15 AM on September 16, 2022 [7 favorites]


> Has any British monarch ever gone full Lenin and been put on display?

Charles the I, briefly.
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:21 AM on September 16, 2022 [9 favorites]


If having bishops in the Lords makes Britain technically a constitutional theocracy like Iran, then having the dead in the Lords would make it a constitutional necrocracy like North Korea (whose head of state is still the eternal God-Emperor Kim Il-Sung)
posted by acb at 9:21 AM on September 16, 2022



what's in the other boxes? that's a state secret.
posted by phooky
Well just how many first cousins did Liz actually have, hmm?
posted by mce at 9:31 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


The Queue is open again! Estimated waiting time is 24 hours.
posted by essexjan at 10:06 AM on September 16, 2022 [2 favorites]


If having bishops in the Lords makes Britain technically a constitutional theocracy like Iran

Well, that and the whole bit about having the monarch as simultaneously both head of state and head of the official state religion I guess.
posted by hangashore at 10:12 AM on September 16, 2022


Is there a queue for The Queue? Or is that simply just not done and far too much even for British sensibilities?
posted by loquacious at 10:27 AM on September 16, 2022


loquacious, there are THREE queues. There is The Queue, then the queue (a holding pen, actually) where people are waiting in Southwark Park to get into The Queue, and a queue outside Southwark Park to get into the queue to get into The Queue.
posted by essexjan at 10:35 AM on September 16, 2022 [23 favorites]


How does waiting time fluctuate between 8 and 24 hours? They are efficiently moving everyone through.
posted by Melismata at 10:38 AM on September 16, 2022


loquacious, there are THREE queues. There is The Queue, then the queue (a holding pen, actually) where people are waiting in Southwark Park to get into The Queue, and a queue outside Southwark Park to get into the queue to get into The Queue.

Queception.
posted by Absolutely No You-Know-What at 10:42 AM on September 16, 2022 [3 favorites]




loquacious, there are THREE queues.

Got it, it's queues all the way down, then.

Wait, hold up. Am I in a queue? Is there an app that can confirm or deny that I'm in one? I don't want to be in a queue. Unless it's for corgis, I guess.
posted by loquacious at 11:13 AM on September 16, 2022 [2 favorites]


I just spent 12 hours (7AM-7PM) in The Queue. AMA. Full recap after we have dinner
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 11:27 AM on September 16, 2022 [14 favorites]


I just spent 12 hours (7AM-7PM) in The Queue. AMA. Full recap after we have dinner

Very relieved to hear someone can attest to the existence of The Queue. I was starting to think this Queue and its subsidiary queues are entirely fictional as I'm thankfully not in London these days and no one amongst my friends or family has admitted to joining it.
posted by tavegyl at 11:34 AM on September 16, 2022


Ngl, a 5-mile long queue in London sounds like the prompt for an SCP entry.
posted by mhum at 11:54 AM on September 16, 2022 [4 favorites]


The King and his siblings have now joined the guards to stand for 15 minutes.
posted by Melismata at 11:54 AM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


Wait, hold up. Am I in a queue?

In the United Kingdom, the queue stands in you.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:01 PM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


Wait, hold up. Am I in a queue?

What is life but waiting on line to join the Queen
posted by dis_integration at 12:24 PM on September 16, 2022 [7 favorites]


We are all in The Queue.
posted by Galvanic at 1:04 PM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


We (my mother and I, in London on a pre-planned vacation) joined The Queue a little before 7 in Bermondsy just south of Tower Bridge and plodded along the southern bank of the Thames. Everyone was cheery and friendly - we had a queue squad by the end of the first hour that included a Seattleite and two women from Hampton. It was pretty cold with the breeze off the river but as the sun came out, there would be warm corners to stand in as we weaved toward Lambeth Bridge. Everyone was chatting, sharing snacks, and keeping each other up in the line if somebody stepped out for a drink, sit or toilet visit. I was pleased that both the Globe and National Theatre were open for people to use the restrooms. I’d say the worst stretch was from the Eye to the bridge because it was a long straight line and it stopped a lot. Once we were over the bridge, it was two large quickly moving zig-zags, security to check our bag for food, liquids, makeup and weapons, and then we were in the hall! It was completely silent. There was a changing of the guard that we watched from the staircase. Having watched the feeds, I knew that anything in the room was subject to HD airing so needless to say, I didn’t even scratch my nose. It was really great being there with my Mom and the rest of our new queue friends. We walked out to large crowds lining the street - waiting for the arrival of the King and his siblings. We hugged goodbye and we were done! Now we are collapsed on our hotel beds.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:37 PM on September 16, 2022 [38 favorites]


Because of course this happened:

So the Queue is not so much Burning Man for Daily Mail readers as Woodstock 1999 for Daily Mail readers?
posted by acb at 3:26 PM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


¿¡Qué!?
posted by y2karl at 3:36 PM on September 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


QUEUE!
posted by basalganglia at 4:46 PM on September 16, 2022


It's going to be all qué.
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:19 PM on September 16, 2022


Oh. I got to the end and there's just a [text] box.
posted by fullerine at 3:52 AM on September 17, 2022 [1 favorite]


The Guardian is reporting that the London Ambulance Service had treated 710 people in the queue, 81 of those taken to hospital.
posted by biffa at 7:11 AM on September 17, 2022 [2 favorites]


This is the most quintessential MeFi thread ever. tnx.

also, my wordle word tomorrow will be queue. I'll let you know how it works out.
posted by bluesky43 at 1:52 PM on September 17, 2022 [3 favorites]


All I needed was the love Queue gave,
All I needed for another day,
And all I ever knew,
Only Queue
posted by I'm always feeling, Blue at 5:06 PM on September 17, 2022 [1 favorite]


Well, I had a doctor's appointment yesterday to go over some test results and the news wasn't good. Not only am I currently in The Queue but apparently I've been dealing with multiple co-morbid cases of being in queues for most of my life.

Which may certainly explain some things that I've been struggling with for some time. Things like inexplicable cravings for hot tea even though I've never seen or lived anywhere near a living tea plant in my entire life. Or enjoying absolutely foul, bracing weather wearing nothing but a string vest and rubber boots. As well as strange, disturbing urges and thoughts about colonizing entire continents, inexplicable thoughts about to nail people's heads to the floor, immediate arousal when I hear certain place names like Shitlingthorpe, Rimswell, Ramsbottom or even simply the words "pudding" or "eel".

I've been prescribed a rather lot of something called curry - which, well, resembles nothing biologically good - which is to be taken with rice and consumed exclusively while standing outside on a street out of take out containers and washed down with far too many bottles of this foul concoction labeled Buckfast, after which I am instructed to have a proper snog and a shag while out dogging.

The dog that lives here looks worried, and while I am fond of the dog I'm not entirely sure how any of this is supposed to help at all.
posted by loquacious at 7:32 PM on September 17, 2022 [7 favorites]


Surveying the folks in the Queue-- who's there and why.

This has got to be easier than trying to survey people who don't answer their phones.

https://twitter.com/robjohns75/status/1570756794015948802?t=fMGPMxeCnUt_rJZniy4p_g&s=09
posted by Nancy Lebovitz at 4:49 AM on September 18, 2022 [1 favorite]




Morning TV journalists Holly Willoughby and Philip Schofield may lose "national treasure" status over allegations that they skipped The Queue. But it's less clear than that, a BBC summary says, because there's a press area in the hall where reporters can go to get a sense of the experience to report on it ... without investing themselves in the full journey to the lying-in-state.
posted by k3ninho at 8:47 AM on September 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


My run yesterday took me around to Southwark Park and Shad Thames, so this is what I think was happening, if anyone's interested: Calling it "The Queue" gives the impression that people were shuffling along for the full route. However, it seems that there was a snaking queue in Southwark Park, from which people were being released into the main route. There also seemed to be places where the progress could be halted or slowed so the numbers of people could be regulated - certainly, coming out of Blackfriars station on Friday, the people were moving quite quickly past there. It does seem to have been very well thought-through, but then they've had decades to plan, I suppose.

I did wonder what would have happened if they just let it run its course - round Rotherhithe, through Deptford, to Greenwich, Blackheath and then either around Kent or straight down to Brighton and thence the Channel. This way was probably better.
posted by Grangousier at 2:55 AM on September 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


I'm a soft republican (could live with more Nordic than French situation), but still was almost tempted to go and queue, purely for the sake of queuing. We joke about the siren song of The Queue, but there is something weird there.

As to "why wasn't it just ticketed online?" - there's two things I heard which ring true to me in terms of reasons why.

First is the age and technology awareness of a lot of people who would firmly want to go. We're all comfortable with tech on here, but I'm sure we all know elderly friends or relatives who struggle with even phones. They'd be at a massive disadvantage when it came to getting tickets. There's also the issue of people booking, but not turning up. Only way around that would be to charge, but that would just be... wrong. At least The Queue was fair.

Second thing is that a lot of it involved large amounts of coordinated effort from multiple public sector organisations at short (if pre-planned) notice. Portaloos, stewarding, barriers, St John's Ambulance, staff support and amenities, street cleaning, etc, etc. Most of the time those situations aren't things you're even able to ticket for - they're responses to mass casualty events, flooding, fires or similar disasters. If you've got that metaphorical hammer all through your organisations, you're likely to look to fix something with a nail, rather than a screw and a power drill.
posted by MattWPBS at 5:50 AM on September 19, 2022 [2 favorites]


Queue amenties. A lot of us were wondering.
posted by y2karl at 12:57 PM on September 23, 2022


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