Plant Machete
October 4, 2022 4:05 PM Subscribe
As opposed to a random number generator?
posted by Merus at 4:18 PM on October 4, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by Merus at 4:18 PM on October 4, 2022 [6 favorites]
This is more ironic and artsy than most projects in the "lets attach a microcontroller to something dangerous" genre, but it's still in that genre and I hope they've blunted that blade and taken some safety measures.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:20 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:20 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
In Soviet Russia, jungle hacks you!
posted by chavenet at 4:22 PM on October 4, 2022 [9 favorites]
posted by chavenet at 4:22 PM on October 4, 2022 [9 favorites]
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
posted by Going To Maine at 4:30 PM on October 4, 2022 [26 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 4:30 PM on October 4, 2022 [26 favorites]
Plant: "I'd like to branch out."
Researcher: "O.k., let me attach this microcontroller, and we'll be in business as soon as I rig up this here mach -- OH SWEET JESUS MY FUCKIN' ARM!"
Plant: "I believe I'm the armed one now."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:41 PM on October 4, 2022 [10 favorites]
Researcher: "O.k., let me attach this microcontroller, and we'll be in business as soon as I rig up this here mach -- OH SWEET JESUS MY FUCKIN' ARM!"
Plant: "I believe I'm the armed one now."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:41 PM on October 4, 2022 [10 favorites]
Yes
YES
The plant is out
posted by vibratory manner of working at 4:44 PM on October 4, 2022 [19 favorites]
YES
The plant is out
posted by vibratory manner of working at 4:44 PM on October 4, 2022 [19 favorites]
Now *that's* an origin story
posted by The otter lady at 4:48 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 4:48 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Do you want Krynoids? Because that's how you get Krynoids.
posted by MrVisible at 4:48 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by MrVisible at 4:48 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees motherfucker.
posted by bleep at 4:50 PM on October 4, 2022 [41 favorites]
posted by bleep at 4:50 PM on October 4, 2022 [41 favorites]
"'Venus Flytrap' my taproot, I'm a Venus MANTRAP now, baby!"
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:51 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:51 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
i think this hacking thing's gone too far
posted by pyramid termite at 5:23 PM on October 4, 2022 [5 favorites]
posted by pyramid termite at 5:23 PM on October 4, 2022 [5 favorites]
I know this isn't the point but the plant doesn't control the machete any more than I control a machete that moves unbeknownst to me with the semi-random firings of my nervous system. The plant "regulates" the machete, which technically falls under one of the senses of 'control' but not the most accurate.
posted by Hume at 5:34 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by Hume at 5:34 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
And then it asks Alexa to play the score from "Little Shop of Horrors".
posted by Czjewel at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by Czjewel at 5:36 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Could be worse. Could be mobile.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:02 PM on October 4, 2022
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:02 PM on October 4, 2022
If it were mobile, you’d been on your way to Mariokart
posted by Going To Maine at 6:13 PM on October 4, 2022
posted by Going To Maine at 6:13 PM on October 4, 2022
I want one.
posted by biogeo at 6:16 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by biogeo at 6:16 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Can we propagate a legion of cuttings from Henry Winkler's spider plant and arm them accordingly?
They'll know what to do.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:17 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
They'll know what to do.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:17 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
I'm waiting for the police to deny the weapon was planted.
posted by adept256 at 6:53 PM on October 4, 2022 [11 favorites]
posted by adept256 at 6:53 PM on October 4, 2022 [11 favorites]
I'm waiting for the police to deny the weapon was planted.
Don't you mean deny the plant was weaponed?
posted by clawsoon at 7:11 PM on October 4, 2022 [8 favorites]
Don't you mean deny the plant was weaponed?
posted by clawsoon at 7:11 PM on October 4, 2022 [8 favorites]
TBH, I see it holding a machete. 'Controlling' would be much more frightening.
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:52 PM on October 4, 2022
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 7:52 PM on October 4, 2022
Came for both the 'that's not control' and the jokes.
Keep the Aspidistra Flaying, Metafilter!
posted by bartleby at 8:03 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Keep the Aspidistra Flaying, Metafilter!
posted by bartleby at 8:03 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Kinda cool, but a shame they've limited the control to where the plant can't 'decide' to untether itself from the microprocessor using the machete in a (hopefully) futile attempt at self-control.
posted by dg at 8:10 PM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by dg at 8:10 PM on October 4, 2022 [1 favorite]
They should have given it a machine gun.
posted by loquacious at 8:13 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by loquacious at 8:13 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
I liked it better when a hamster drove a truck. Or a goldfish in a tank* on wheels.
*two goldfish are in a tank.
one fish says to the other one
"I'll drive. You work the gun."
posted by bartleby at 8:17 PM on October 4, 2022 [9 favorites]
*two goldfish are in a tank.
one fish says to the other one
"I'll drive. You work the gun."
posted by bartleby at 8:17 PM on October 4, 2022 [9 favorites]
I know this isn't the point but the plant doesn't control the machete any more than I control a machete that moves unbeknownst to me with the semi-random firings of my nervous system.
judge, it wasn't me, it was the semi-random firings of my nervous system that fired that gun
posted by pyramid termite at 8:25 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
judge, it wasn't me, it was the semi-random firings of my nervous system that fired that gun
posted by pyramid termite at 8:25 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
"I see you've played knifey-spoony before."
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 8:37 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 8:37 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
Welcome to the jungle, motherfuckers.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:40 PM on October 4, 2022 [6 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:40 PM on October 4, 2022 [6 favorites]
This is the future liberals want.
posted by furnace.heart at 8:40 PM on October 4, 2022 [3 favorites]
posted by furnace.heart at 8:40 PM on October 4, 2022 [3 favorites]
this is my kind of climate action.
posted by ZaphodB at 8:46 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
posted by ZaphodB at 8:46 PM on October 4, 2022 [4 favorites]
"Be careful - they say he is the finest swordsman in all of Plants!"
posted by bartleby at 9:04 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by bartleby at 9:04 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
Kit out two of these with foils, place them facing each other, and you could have plant fencing.
Foilage for your foliage.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:26 PM on October 4, 2022 [7 favorites]
Foilage for your foliage.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 9:26 PM on October 4, 2022 [7 favorites]
Fake.
Or, at the very least, indistinguishable from being fake.
posted by AlSweigart at 9:47 PM on October 4, 2022
Or, at the very least, indistinguishable from being fake.
posted by AlSweigart at 9:47 PM on October 4, 2022
Plant Machete
I think I'll stick with Paper Mache.
posted by fairmettle at 10:03 PM on October 4, 2022
I think I'll stick with Paper Mache.
posted by fairmettle at 10:03 PM on October 4, 2022
Listen those roots need to touch the floor so they are watered by the blood of its enemies, else how will it ever learn? And pick a plant that thrives in iron-rich soil.
posted by emeiji at 10:12 PM on October 4, 2022
posted by emeiji at 10:12 PM on October 4, 2022
Could be worse. Could be mobile.
The Day of the Triffids (1962), YT full movie, WP.
posted by cenoxo at 11:41 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
The Day of the Triffids (1962), YT full movie, WP.
posted by cenoxo at 11:41 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
"So my character's an alrune swashbuckler/artificer ..."
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:41 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:41 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]
"You fucked with the wrong Philodendron."
posted by mikelieman at 3:17 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by mikelieman at 3:17 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
1959: plant pressured into joining mysterious cult
2009: plant tweets when it needs water.
2019: plant can walk to sunlight, still has to ask when it needs water
2022: plant is tired of asking
posted by sebastienbailard at 5:52 AM on October 5, 2022 [9 favorites]
2009: plant tweets when it needs water.
2019: plant can walk to sunlight, still has to ask when it needs water
2022: plant is tired of asking
posted by sebastienbailard at 5:52 AM on October 5, 2022 [9 favorites]
Hello! My name is Planté Macheté.
You uprooted my father. Prepare to die.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:34 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
You uprooted my father. Prepare to die.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:34 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
"Be careful - they say he is the finest swordsman in all of Plants! the Kingdom!"
fixed that for you.
posted by mr vino at 7:52 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
fixed that for you.
posted by mr vino at 7:52 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
They should have given it a machine gun.
Yes, well, the artist has been down that road and the flies don't want the competition.
posted by The Bellman at 8:08 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Yes, well, the artist has been down that road and the flies don't want the competition.
posted by The Bellman at 8:08 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Just this spring I did a project that feels a bit like the opposite of this one.
A sensitive Mimosa plant was reacting – folding its leaves – just due to the mere presence of a human body. (Or what an AI-powered camera recognized as a human body, a totally different question). And if the Mimosa was already hiding while the human body appeared, it closed a curtain to hide even more.
https://rybakov.com/project/being_seen/
posted by javanlight at 8:39 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
A sensitive Mimosa plant was reacting – folding its leaves – just due to the mere presence of a human body. (Or what an AI-powered camera recognized as a human body, a totally different question). And if the Mimosa was already hiding while the human body appeared, it closed a curtain to hide even more.
https://rybakov.com/project/being_seen/
posted by javanlight at 8:39 AM on October 5, 2022 [3 favorites]
I read the title, and just assumed this was a Simone Giertz thing.
posted by xedrik at 8:55 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by xedrik at 8:55 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Your move, vegans.
posted by SunSnork at 10:19 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by SunSnork at 10:19 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Just this spring I did a project that feels a bit like the opposite of this one.
This is great!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:49 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
This is great!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:49 AM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
Could be worse. Could be mobile.
posted by Capt. Renault
Attach Your Machete Wielding Plant to a Roomba! Fun at Your Next Party!
posted by Splunge at 12:39 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
posted by Capt. Renault
Attach Your Machete Wielding Plant to a Roomba! Fun at Your Next Party!
posted by Splunge at 12:39 PM on October 5, 2022 [1 favorite]
I'd be more impressed if it was holding a watering can.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:13 PM on October 5, 2022
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:13 PM on October 5, 2022
« Older Allen wrenches not included | Si preguntan quién soy... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Splunge at 4:08 PM on October 4, 2022 [2 favorites]