Picking till it hurts

December 1, 2022 6:28 AM

More than picking a zit - dermatillomania or obsessive skin picking, and sufferers using social media to build community and awareness (Buzzfeed News).
posted by dorothyisunderwood (25 comments total)

I hate skin discontinuities. I don't want a cure for skin picking, I want a cure for skin that isn't smooth.
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:29 AM on December 1, 2022 [14 favorites]

Quick note: I have had this for years as a maladaptive coping strategy for stress. I found the article pretty damn accurate and thoughtfully written - the notes on racial differences in skin and gender affecting medical treatment and shame were interesting.

Also, this December I'm aiming to post an FPP every day to the 24th as a Metafilter advent hence the advent2022 tag
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 6:30 AM on December 1, 2022 [14 favorites]

Then she found videos on TikTok about people struggling with the same thing, which made her feel seen.

This seems to be the very best thing about the internet, the ability of bringing together invisible communities and making people realize they aren't alone or weird or crazy. Of course, it's also the very worst thing (cf Nazis).
posted by chavenet at 6:37 AM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]

advent2022 tag

The Body As Advent Calendar: Dermatillomania as a Response to Holiday Stress

(if god didn't want me to pick nervously at my skin, he wouldn't have made me so crusty and gross.)
posted by mittens at 6:41 AM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]

I never used to think I had this. I thought I was treating a problem, not creating one. The urge has not gone away, but it's been mitigated by a number of things, from effective anxiety treatment to cutting my nails really short (at first because of touchscreens and then because I realized what a help it was).

I hate the pimple popper genre of show and video. Hate it. All I ever wanted was not to see or think about things buried beneath the skin.
posted by Countess Elena at 7:18 AM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

Did you know they make fidget toys specifically for the feeling of picking or scraping at something that's not skin now? I discovered this during pandemic and while it's not likely to be useful for me--when I compulsively pick at hairs it's in part because their existence bothers me on a sensory level, part stress relief--it does make me feel good to know they exist.
posted by sciatrix at 7:43 AM on December 1, 2022 [5 favorites]

Wait...where might one find these scabby, hairy fidget toys?
posted by mittens at 7:46 AM on December 1, 2022 [3 favorites]

My younger child, now 18, has done this to her face for years, resulting in scarring across her forehead and cheeks. She is so exquisitely sensitive to personal appearance (clear in her attention to dress, and because she has drawn people for years) and I am 100% positive that she is aware of and hates this.

It has been incredibly difficult to try to parent around this issue. Early on I tried to get her to stop. It was clear that she spiraled in shame and anything I said made it worse. Years of trying to not apply pressure, but then seeing things get really severe and out of hand and feel obliged to address it. Exactly what I warned her has come to pass--that her skin would scar, that her future self would be sad that her past self had continued this practice.

Within the last year I finally got her to a dermatologist who prescribed a cream to handle her acne, which is an issue unto itself but made far worse by the picking. She uses it sporadically but clearly doesn't feel motivated to commit. She's seeing a therapist about a lot of other things but doesn't seem to have resulted in picking her skin less.

It breaks my heart to see her so sad. I feel so helpless.
posted by Sublimity at 7:50 AM on December 1, 2022 [2 favorites]

I'm convinced this is a holdover of grooming behavior; most primates show love by removing bugs from each other's fur. It's calming for both of them. Thanks for posting this.
posted by theora55 at 7:53 AM on December 1, 2022 [2 favorites]

Etsy is hands down the best place I have seen to find any kind of fidget toy or sensory toy, just generally. I've personally bought none of these so I promise absolutely nothing about them, but I've gone shopping with/for a friend whose skin picking is much much harsher than my stuff, so let me dig up some of the things we looked at as alternatives.

I've seen two main types specifically for skin or hair picking:

"sensory stones" consisting of a pumice stone with latex paint (like fabric paint) and a variety of picking tools like dentist picks or tweezers. You squeeze the paint into the pumice stone (or smear it on top) and let it dry, and then you scrape the paint out.

"picking plates" have strongly or subtly textured surfaces onto which latex paint can be squeezed and later peeled off by hand. Sometimes you can get little toys or beads that can be sprinkled into your latex paint so that you can get the multisensory experience of digging out the toy or bead, too.

Both are pretty cheap and easy to play with if it's a thing you would like to explore. There's also a lot of other sensory toys marketed towards pickers that are basically just "here is an alternate thing you can do with your hands to distract yourself," like fidget slugs or chain mail things where you can rattle the rings or bead and ring things where you can pluck at the rings and move them around to give yourself a distraction.
posted by sciatrix at 7:59 AM on December 1, 2022 [6 favorites]

How I wish this had been parented in my house is get thee to a therapist/psychiatrist. Also treat any skin problems and resulting discomfort, and make harm reductive things available (short nails, bandaids and creams to treat and cover). There should be no shame, but I think this is tough because even noticing can provoke it. I wish I had known this was a known thing and better understood it.
posted by lookoutbelow at 8:17 AM on December 1, 2022 [2 favorites]

I've done this since I was a child and I certainly have the scars on my arms and legs to show for it. I remember my parents taking me to the doctor when I was in grade school and everybody just utterly perplexed why I wouldn't (couldn't) stop picking at my scabs and creating new scabs. I still do it and I'm still not sure why, but I imagine it does have to do with stress and anxiety. My boyfriend thinks I've started doing it more since going on medication for anxiety, but I wonder if I'm just less anxious about doing it in front of him, ha, because it feels the same to me. I've downloaded the SkinPick app mentioned in the article and looking forward to checking out the fidget toys sciatrix mentioned! Sometimes the Internet is awfully great for letting you know you're not alone.
posted by kittensyay at 8:42 AM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

Short fingernails and long sleeves help a lot, at least on the arms.

One thing I've noticed and puzzled over is that it tends happens on both sides of the body, often in the exact same spot.
posted by gottabefunky at 8:48 AM on December 1, 2022

Two things have been helpful for me. One is using conditioner bars in place of soap in the shower. The Romans did oil-based cleansing so it can’t be that wacky an idea. It makes my skin smoother and, something I didn’t expect, I get less acne. And on my face I use nothing but water and a clean washcloth.

The other thing is knitting. My problems start up in the evening when my ADHD meds have worn off (bye, dopamine!) and I’m watching TV. I always have a mindless knitting project going that I can work on without looking to keep my hands busy.

Neither are a cure, but both help quite a bit.
posted by antinomia at 11:35 AM on December 1, 2022 [4 favorites]

A friend of mine got a lot of relief by always getting the sort of manicure that gives her nails a very softly rounded edge (acrylic, I think? ) her nails look great and she no longer has a sharp tool on the end of each finger to do damage with
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 12:32 PM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

I have deep gouge scars on my scalp. Right now fortunately most of them have healed, and only picking a bit lately, but it definitely sucks.
posted by symbioid at 1:10 PM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

I started reading this thread like "I don't have this" and now I am at "oh, I totally have this"

not a really severe case, as things go, but when I sit to read the fidget urge comes out and I pick at a few places, mostly my scalp. its gross anyway, but although my hair is thick its fairly light and the red patches can be seen at bit. I even had a dream the other night that my scalp was covered in terrible red scabs and sores, much more extensive than reality. so I guess it bothers me.

I would like to stop but the only other compulsive behavior I crave while reading is eating snacky food, which I am trying to avoid, generally...
posted by supermedusa at 1:31 PM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

The incredible songwriter Laura Stevenson has written about dermatillomania both in an article for The Talkhouse and in a couple songs (and probably more, but less explicitly). I had a similar reaction to her article and songs as many people in the Buzzfeed link.
posted by valrus at 2:53 PM on December 1, 2022

I do this, but graduated to using a "blackhead remover" tool and try to restrict myself to that.

The tool is much more precise and I can extract plugs and pop comedones approaching maturity while minimizing skin damage.

However, after having a couple of cysts the last year, I've been having dreams where I'm extracting something and it keeps expressing and expressing and expressing...

Spoiling myself with microneedling when I take vacation to start the new year, hopefully that will break the habit (of using fingers/ fingernails).
posted by porpoise at 3:55 PM on December 1, 2022

advent2022 tag

The Body As Advent Calendar: Dermatillomania as a Response to Holiday Stress


I unconsciously pick at the sides of my thumbs with the adjacent index fingers when I am standing in line or driving... This time of year I have to bandage them with all the extra shopping, longer lines, and crazy traffic
posted by jenjenc at 4:15 PM on December 1, 2022 [2 favorites]

I would venture to say that most people with dermatillomania have favorite brands and styles/compositions of adhesive bandages, depending on body part and whether or not you'll need flexibility of the joint, waterproofing, padding, etc.

The two summers that I picked at the soles of my feet were excruciating for me, and damn, those XXL bandages are expensive!

I like padded or sport adhesive bandages more than most other kinds, unless I need to bandage near a fingertip, in which case I choose super thin and flexible bandages so I can type easily: Band-Aid Skin Flex is a new favorite for that.
posted by QuakerMel at 4:15 PM on December 1, 2022 [1 favorite]

Hydrocolloid pimple patches are great for prevention and post hoc healing (I like these Rael Miracle Patch ones)
posted by lookoutbelow at 4:55 PM on December 1, 2022 [4 favorites]

Tbh is is a little random but. I found a method to get most of the blackheads and sebaceous threads out of my nose. Get face hot and wet in shower, wash well with mild soap, and here’s the trick: use a rough towel and very firmly squeeze your nose and slowly pull down. The tops of the pore plugs are grabbed by the towel texture and the whole thing slides out as you pull down. Do it a couple times on each plugged skin area after each shower. Don’t rub vigorously or you’ll irritate the skin. After a couple weeks of this I am still amazed at how much less crap is in my pores. And if you use a dark towel you can see what’s come out. I mention this because it’s satisfying to get rid of discontinuities. Good luck.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:57 AM on December 2, 2022 [1 favorite]

Mod note: One deleted. If you do not have this or a related condition or specific professional knowledge of it, it's probably better not to try to offer your ideas about solutions.
posted by taz (staff) at 11:40 PM on December 2, 2022

This thread has been a relief for me to read. I've done this in some form all of my life (and I'm in my 60s!) As a kid I picked the little bumps on my legs and then picked the scabs over and over. I did stop doing that although I still can't help picking any little scabby thing that appears and I'm lucky that my skin is generally smooth but I moved on to picking the skin around my fingernails until they bled. In my 20's I managed to confine it to my thumbs but also have periods when I pick and peel the skin on my heels. I think the genetic thing is likely true as my mother picked her heels and one of my daughters struggled with trichotillomania as a teenager.

My own experience is that it's not triggered by anxiety or life circumstances. It's more about the addiction to the dopamine hit from the actual behavior as I only want to do it when I'm reading or watching TV. Just like Supermedusa said, the only other compulsive behavior I crave while reading or watching TV is eating. I do that too sometimes but when I'm finished snacking, I move on to skin picking/peeling. I've had luck stopping for long periods by using hand exercise putty to keep my hands busy but at some point I always fall off the wagon. It's a disease for sure.
posted by Plafield at 8:49 AM on December 4, 2022