September 5, 2002
5:02 PM   Subscribe

Putting the 'fun' back in fundamentalism, and the 'beastly avatars of Satan' back in... cat? (via memepool).
posted by oflinkey (23 comments total)
Sorry, it was too good not to share with you all at MeFi.
posted by oflinkey at 5:03 PM on September 5, 2002

It's hard to take anyone seriously who claims the Earth is 6000 years old.
posted by benjh at 5:07 PM on September 5, 2002

Thank goodness his web hosting is called Angelfire...otherwise heaven knows...
posted by jonmc at 5:14 PM on September 5, 2002

For clarification purposes, this is a Jehovah's Witness page, not a "fundamentalist" Christian page as you imply. They have been long considered by most "fundamentalist" Christians (and maybe more "mainline" denominations too?) to be a Cult.
posted by internal at 5:19 PM on September 5, 2002

[...] how true are the Bible's words: 'Bad associations spoil useful habits'! -1 Cor. 15:33. Some have exposed themselves to possible spiritual contamination in this way. To invite cats in our house is to toy with disaster.

I can attest to that. The disasters so far have included one broken vase, half a dozen fur-balls and one piece of ham mysteriously gone missing.
posted by Triplanetary at 5:30 PM on September 5, 2002

All religions are cults, some are just larger than others.
posted by disgruntled at 5:31 PM on September 5, 2002

I think y'all have been trolled. 8)
posted by Cerebus at 5:37 PM on September 5, 2002

Main Entry: fun·da·men·tal·ism

1 a often capitalized : a movement in 20th century Protestantism emphasizing the literally interpreted Bible as fundamental to Christian life and teaching b : the beliefs of this movement c : adherence to such beliefs
2 : a movement or attitude stressing strict and literal adherence to a set of basic principles

Internal- although I completely understand what you have said, and am willing to concede error on my part, I do turn to the definition of 'fundamentalism' at this point.
If this kitty-kat article did nothing else, it certainly attempted to represent the literally interpreted Bible as being a guide concerning cat ownership.
posted by oflinkey at 5:41 PM on September 5, 2002

This person put the "mental" in fundamentalism. This retarded rambling is nothing but an exercise in wanton neglect of logic. College professors teaching courses in critical thinking should use this page as fodder for their students.
posted by freakystyley at 5:45 PM on September 5, 2002

Bandwidth limit was exceeded shortly after I read the page. Not bad for an all-text page. Google cache here.

Question: Why is a Christian fundamentalist using the "B.C.E." abbreviation for dates before Christ (in the date he gives for Noah's flood)? I thought the whole point of using "Before Common Era" was to get away from the whole religious meaning of "B.C.", but maybe I'm mistaken. Is the author trying to give the article an air of legitimacy, or is it a troll whose author slipped up?
posted by Johnny Assay at 6:01 PM on September 5, 2002

Johnny Assay, because he's not a fundamentalist, he's a Jehovah's Witness. They have some funny ideas about birthdays, Christmas, and celebrating festivals without Biblical authority.

As internal observed, there's a wide gulf between yer Jay-Dubs and your Fundies.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 6:10 PM on September 5, 2002

Damn that google cache version is brutal on the eyes.
posted by quin at 6:41 PM on September 5, 2002

I don't know where this guy is getting is information, might be from a very old source since it quotes something from 1952, but I know lots of Witnesses who own cats.

Nothing like a loon painting with a broad brush.
posted by Tacodog at 6:50 PM on September 5, 2002

It's hard to take anyone seriously who claims the Earth is 6000 years old.

Right! The earth doesn't look a day over 5843. Except it's ass looks kinda big in those pants.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:55 PM on September 5, 2002

as someone who just had to clean her cat's litter boxes 'beastly avatars of Satan' seems a fairly well deserved description.
posted by t r a c y at 8:25 PM on September 5, 2002

I hate cats too.
posted by MaddCutty at 9:50 PM on September 5, 2002

I for one welcome our new cat overlords.
posted by Nicolae Carpathia at 10:39 PM on September 5, 2002

Cats are a red herring. Dogs are the spawn of the dark lord. Especially the weiner dogs.
posted by owillis at 10:50 PM on September 5, 2002

Wow . . . he's like a Scientologist wannabe.

Too bad nobody will ever be able to read most of it, due to the atrocious web design, spelling errors, and broken components on the page.

Damn! Eternal salvation missed because this doofus was too cheap to pick up a copy of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Creating an Internet Home Page."
posted by wdpeck at 11:06 PM on September 5, 2002

Whoa. This entire site made me twitch. I have many reasons for not continuing with my progression in the JW religion (most of them are selfish and immoral--by any definition--but what can you do), but I've studied it for countless years. My mother and younger brother were baptized this summer, and JW literature is spread willy nilly around our house.

1) cats are just fine. What tripe.
2) JWs don't hold studies online. They have an official site online, but as with all of their literature, it's designed to direct the interested to an actual person. They'd rather even hire a plane to get missionaries out to the especially remote locations a couple of times a year so they can witness face to face, than do so online. Last ditch-- via personal written letter, or phone.

I suppose the bolded red from a piece of literature basically saying that JWs don't endorse individual web-sites is his way of saying that the site's a hoax. And given that there's a link directing apostates to This guy's probably been disfellowshipped. Sounds bitter.
posted by precocious at 4:44 AM on September 6, 2002

Damn straight cats are just fine! Man, all through history the weak minded religious folk always want to blame the kitties!

t r a c y should have told her story about how she got the JWs to stop waking us up early every weekend, with their uninvited too-early morning visits. It's a dandy tale involving her wearing nuthin' but high heels and a whip! And .... I should shut up if I want to live, yup :D
posted by zarah at 4:58 AM on September 6, 2002

Precocious- you are correct. Look at this page (especially the last three).
posted by taz at 10:55 PM on September 6, 2002

Oh, and here's another clue: the image source for the picture of "The Happiest People in the World" is
posted by taz at 11:09 PM on September 6, 2002

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